Hey all a month clean for me. I am happy to report sleeping pretty good, pooping every day (and its not water). Actually feel damn near normal. This board has helped a lot. I really had no other support..no meetings, wife didnt really get involved. I think the biggest reason I know I wont relapse and why its been relatively easy is because I really really quit for ME. I was straight fed up with being hooked. Anyway thanks all.
yo bro,
so glad to hear it!! thats fantabulous : ) and did you just say normal? hehehe j/k you and your wife have to be proud. i know i am. they key is mind over matter, love yourself, dont make the same mistakes twice, we all have the power within us to tell this controling addiction where the heck to go! well thats my belief, kinna sounds like we are alike in that way. keep on doing whatever you are doing its working for you. stay strong in your recovery.
terrianne
so glad to hear it!! thats fantabulous : ) and did you just say normal? hehehe j/k you and your wife have to be proud. i know i am. they key is mind over matter, love yourself, dont make the same mistakes twice, we all have the power within us to tell this controling addiction where the heck to go! well thats my belief, kinna sounds like we are alike in that way. keep on doing whatever you are doing its working for you. stay strong in your recovery.
terrianne
Just wanted to say great job on one month!!!
Keep it going!!
DJ
Keep it going!!
DJ
God blessyou...(happy pooping)...Sharonn
congratulations!!!
One month down and a lifetime of happiness to go. Congratulations.
Way to go, man. Glad you are feeling better. Just think about how good you are going to feel after two months.....
Way to Go, bro! I'm so happy for you and your poo....LOL
Keep it up.
DeNae
Keep it up.
DeNae
Vegas...(I love that show), I'm really happy for you. So great!
I remember getting out of treatment (that was the first serious time I tried to get clean) and having that "pink cloud" effect. I felt so good and so normal (whatever normal is) for about 3 months. Then WHAM, reality hit. Pink cloud turned black and life started to sink in. I had stopped going to meetings because, hey, I felt this good, I didn't need to go anymore. That lasted another month or so and then I relapsed. Again. Worse than ever.
I learned that it has nothing to do with self control. Disease rarely does. I also learned that if I didn't stay viligant and keep striving for a better life, I would continue to relapse. Time and time again. Until I got dead...
Didn't mean to rain on your parade...just want you to see it from another perspective.
Take Care
Cowgirl
I remember getting out of treatment (that was the first serious time I tried to get clean) and having that "pink cloud" effect. I felt so good and so normal (whatever normal is) for about 3 months. Then WHAM, reality hit. Pink cloud turned black and life started to sink in. I had stopped going to meetings because, hey, I felt this good, I didn't need to go anymore. That lasted another month or so and then I relapsed. Again. Worse than ever.
I learned that it has nothing to do with self control. Disease rarely does. I also learned that if I didn't stay viligant and keep striving for a better life, I would continue to relapse. Time and time again. Until I got dead...
Didn't mean to rain on your parade...just want you to see it from another perspective.
Take Care
Cowgirl
Hey buddy, good job so far. I'm with CG on this one though. When we say we'll never relapse I think your treading in dangerous water. Think about today and no tomorrows. After I was quit for a month, relapsing was the last thing on my mind. For me and many others the problem doesn't seem to lie when I'm feeling bad that I'll relapse, the problem is when I'm feeling good I seem to have the worst cravings. You'll be feeling real good in the coming months and just be aware of it because rest assure you haven't seen the last of this monster, you're going to have many more run-ins with it and you have to be ready and prepared mentally to fight it. Please, don't get too confident, it ain't over yet. Just be aware, like I said yesterday and I'll mangle this quote again, the disease is like an elephant, if you're aware it's there, you won't get crushed. You've done a marvellous job and you should be commended for it, but it's far from over. Remember, we fight this disease for the rest of our lives. If you live for another 60 years, G-d willing, you have 720 months to go, don't get confident when you're dealing with numbers that are far in the disease's corner. Think of it in Vegas terms, the house always wins while the illusion to the players is so strong that they truly think this is their night. Wishful thinking.
So Vegas my friend, day by day and month to month and let's not fool ourselves in thinking that we can beat the house.
G-d bless you and keep up the good work. I truly started to enjoy my girls tenfold after I went through this s***. Enjoy that beautiful little girl of yours, you have so much to look forward to.
So Vegas my friend, day by day and month to month and let's not fool ourselves in thinking that we can beat the house.
G-d bless you and keep up the good work. I truly started to enjoy my girls tenfold after I went through this s***. Enjoy that beautiful little girl of yours, you have so much to look forward to.
Thanx Cg & Flip..I know I may sound cocky, and like I said it was relatively easy to quit....way, way harder than I thought though. I though oh 4 days of withdrawls and bang normal. Its been 31 days and still not myself. I am afraid of this drug and my personality combo..I know if I did relapse, Id feel so weak Id probably stay on for life. I hear what you guys are saying. I just dont know if I buy the disease part of drug adiction. I believe my childhood has screwed me up so much that I have poor coping skills and drugs, sex and risky behavior have always been my path to deal w/life. I will heed your advice though and take it a day at a time. I aint gonna lie even now almost everyday..I ll catch my self thinking damn this headache is annoying maybe I could take just one for my head, but I laugh at myself and say "NO" I have to think about it as if I take even 1 im starting over again.
RE: saying i wont relapse. I have mixed feelings.
I believe its self fuffilling and helps me to be strong to say hell no I wont ever relapse, but its a double edged sword because then if I fail I will feel so weak that i will go into a downward spiral with no intent to quit.
I believe its self fuffilling and helps me to be strong to say hell no I wont ever relapse, but its a double edged sword because then if I fail I will feel so weak that i will go into a downward spiral with no intent to quit.
Hey buddy,
I absolutely hear what you're saying, I'm just sort of playing devil's advocate so you don't take one train of thought. Listen, we're all different and have different ways of dealing with things. I am no way trying to bring you down. I'm not crazy about the disease word either and that's why most of the time I call it what it is...monster, horror or devil. Either way, it doesn't ever go away, that's all I'm trying to say. You're doing great, just keep it up. I'm in the same boat as you, as we're the same age with a young family and the great thing about it is we realized this is a big problem while we're young and can be worked on. Now that we have some knowledge, we're aware and have plenty of time to live a nice life. All the best, my friend.
I absolutely hear what you're saying, I'm just sort of playing devil's advocate so you don't take one train of thought. Listen, we're all different and have different ways of dealing with things. I am no way trying to bring you down. I'm not crazy about the disease word either and that's why most of the time I call it what it is...monster, horror or devil. Either way, it doesn't ever go away, that's all I'm trying to say. You're doing great, just keep it up. I'm in the same boat as you, as we're the same age with a young family and the great thing about it is we realized this is a big problem while we're young and can be worked on. Now that we have some knowledge, we're aware and have plenty of time to live a nice life. All the best, my friend.
vegasbro,
i have a lil over a year and a half clean, yes i get cravings and i sometimes struggle with anxiety. if i listened to the people telling me that how i work my program was surely gonna make me relapse then well i surely would have. for me its mind over matter. i have educated myself both on n/a as well as counceling and have talked to other addicts who are doing it my way with substantial clean time. so just know it can be done. know your limits/bounderies and stay in check, live honestly. dont dwell on the past live for today and dont worry bout tommorow. always have someone you can talk too. these are some of the things that have kept me successful.
terrianne
i have a lil over a year and a half clean, yes i get cravings and i sometimes struggle with anxiety. if i listened to the people telling me that how i work my program was surely gonna make me relapse then well i surely would have. for me its mind over matter. i have educated myself both on n/a as well as counceling and have talked to other addicts who are doing it my way with substantial clean time. so just know it can be done. know your limits/bounderies and stay in check, live honestly. dont dwell on the past live for today and dont worry bout tommorow. always have someone you can talk too. these are some of the things that have kept me successful.
terrianne
Vegasbro,
I was one who has relapsed many times and it finally took some deep self examination to realize why I was relapsing and then went about the steps (not the 12 steps) to fix my issues. I don't think about relapse because I am so damned busy I don't have time to crave. Be careful and try to do whatever you feel is right for you....Know thyself first and the rest will follow.
I was one who has relapsed many times and it finally took some deep self examination to realize why I was relapsing and then went about the steps (not the 12 steps) to fix my issues. I don't think about relapse because I am so damned busy I don't have time to crave. Be careful and try to do whatever you feel is right for you....Know thyself first and the rest will follow.
Vegasbro, you are doing great and I am very proud of you. Enjoy each day to its fullest. Yes, there are still bad days that lay ahead of you, but you have made it this far and you can continue to live, clean and sober. Just hang on.
vegasbro - congratulations, you!!! I'm jealous...i have 4 days - but I feel exactly like you, I'm FED UP with being hooked & feeling like sh** everyday... just like me, i have this huge headache - and the thought goes "hmmm...just one maybe - yah, I can moderate" ... don't bother. I'm so so so proud of you & keep it up. I did this cold turk myself with little outside support, but if you can do it - so can I. what did u used to use?
Hey Vegas....I hear what you're saying and like Flipper, I was just giving you a view of what COULD happen, not what WILL. You gotta want this for it to happen and I think you have that attitude. Stay in the now and maybe start work on why you took pills in the first place. When I did that, I figured it out. Wasn't easy, in fact it sucked but now I recognize those triggers and the "why". Helps keep me clean and change my behaviors.
You said your wife is in the addiction field? Didn't you want her to help? Does she advocate a 12 step program?
Have a good night.
Cowgirl
You said your wife is in the addiction field? Didn't you want her to help? Does she advocate a 12 step program?
Have a good night.
Cowgirl
Skeet. I was taking oxycodone 15mgs. around 9-12 plus 900mg morphine (mscotin) four 4 years. I didnt use the morphine except the last 6 months. I never missed a day in the 4 years.
Cowgirl, my wife was a drug court PO for years, shes great at helping others, but for some reason has a hard time praising me for quiting something she thinks I was stupid to start in the 1st place. Although she was good at what she did..to her credit she has never done drugs so doesnt truly underrstand how hard its been. Her lack of attention & affection and being so different from me is partially why I started using in the 1st place imo.
Cowgirl, my wife was a drug court PO for years, shes great at helping others, but for some reason has a hard time praising me for quiting something she thinks I was stupid to start in the 1st place. Although she was good at what she did..to her credit she has never done drugs so doesnt truly underrstand how hard its been. Her lack of attention & affection and being so different from me is partially why I started using in the 1st place imo.
Ah...so she wasn't a counselor or anything like that. And like you said, not being an addict it's hard for her to understand what it is you're going through. I'm married to a normie as well and some days aren't as great as others.
You come to the board and I'll make sure you get the atta boys that you need!
xxx
Cowgirl
You come to the board and I'll make sure you get the atta boys that you need!
xxx
Cowgirl
