11/09/06- 1st Day Of The Rest Of My Life

Pain Pills
1
My man did not know about my addiction to pills until the night before I went to the dextox center. We have been together for 3 years, we were married for one year and have been divorced for 9 months, but we have been off and on since the divorce, see I have been addicted to vicodin for 6 years, he had no clue but for these past 3 years he has been so good to me, he raises my 2 boys, that do not belong to him, and I have done him so wrong, to get high. I did it all pawned my fatass wedding rings and told him they were lost, overdrew the account, and on and on (you guys know what I am talking about), anyway my parents, my brother and my best friend have been trying to get me to get help for a long time, I mean I was up to 20-30 1000mil vics daily! (or whatever pain pills I could get) but I always said I know I got a problem but I make sure that my kids have what they need before I spend a dime on pills, then one day my man said "step back and take a look at your life, everything good that you and your kids haave is from me", when he said it my reaction was f**k U, but whats funny is later that night I stepped back and I took a look at my life and realized that he was right and that I have not been taking care of my kids financially, I was letting him and my parents pay for everything, so I could make sure I had money for pills, but you know what I was tired anyway, tired of chasing pills, chasing the high and never getting high, (again you all know the rest) I decided then that I was going to check myself in somewhere, I still did not tell him, I did all the research and a few weeks later I found a place that was for me and made my appointment to check in the next day, CRUNCH TIME, I had to tell him now, no turning back and I am scared because I know what he is going to say, he is very successful and well established, he is going to tell me to get lost and I love him so much, I have never felt this way, not even w/ the father of my boys and I was w/ him for 12 years and married for 10. I told him!, and I also admitted to all the wrong that I have done to him, and then I told him that I was going to get help whether he supported me or not because I was ready and to my surprise he told me he loved me and wanted to support me through it all. We talked and cried alot that night and the next day he took me, I was sooooo scared, I had never went longer than 10 hours without my pills, but I was excited, it was the first day of the rest of my life, he called twice a day to check on me (we were not allowed to talk to anyone on the outside), he brought me cards 3 or 4 times and I did it, 10 long, hard, painful and stressfull days, but I knew that I was going to havea good life, I have a great man that loves me, great parents and a life long best friend that loves me to. when he came to the detox to pick me up, he brought me a gift, it was a bigger fat a** ring and all is real good right now. 35 days

Thanks for listening, if anyone is still reading this and is interested in my detox stay, I kept a journal and it is flat out CRAZY and I would love to share it.

Felicia
One day at a time!
2
Felicia,

What a story. You have gotten to day 35 yourself. You did your homework you found a detox center, your "man" stuck by you. Your one strong broad!!!!

I am in awe of your bravery and strength.

Catherine
3
We are the lucky ones. Not everyone has recieved the support they would have liked.

I appreciate my partner so much for sticking by me. Through him I have learned so much about trust and respect and am so thankful for that.

Good luck to you and your husband, he's a keeper

Wendy
4
A good partner can make the greatest difference they sometimes help us to see ourselves in a clearer light then we want to. Keep up the good work I have been on oxy for 8 years and clean for two weeks. Nice Job


\ TotalElipse /
5
Good for you!!! It only gets better and better. I promise.
6
What a great story...I got chills at the end....you are starting a new life and I am so happy for you. May I ask what they used to detox you.?..I was in over a year ago and wasn't too crazy about the place. I live in upstate NY...yhey used Ultram(a milder opiate) and actually discharged me with it! So I wasn't really clean....go figure. I would really appreciate it if you could give me some info. Thanks much, Sharonn
7
Good for you Felicia!

I too have a supportive husband. It was a little rough at first, as he had no idea what to expect, (with a wife detoxing at home)...and he was scared and I was sick and neither one of us had a clue.

After 10 days, I was able to talk to my therapist on the phone...and she told me to just tell my husband exactly what I needed from him. (Simple, but we can totally get in the way of ourselves sometimes). Well, I did that...which was hard...and he totally relaxed and did it. We haven't looked back since then.

I know I hurt him badly over the years of using. I lost touch with what is important in life during those years...and it had an effect on every single aspect of my life. I am so thankful that I don't have to see the world through that filter anymore.

I am also very grateful for the love of a sweet, uncomplicated man. I am also thankful that because of my sobriety, I am able to love him much more deeply.

Keep going Felicia, it only gets better!

Sarah (not feeling clever)
8
Thanks everyone for responding, talking to other people that understand what I have and will go through is part of my rehab, in fact it's my favorite part. I don't know why but I always feel better when I talk about it. I will let you know what I was taking while I was in Detox, but I can't remember the name, I will look it up and let you know, whatever it was, it did good for me and I was tapered for those 10 days.

Felicia
36 days
One day at a time.
9
Good for you Felicia. This may even bring you and your man closer and closer, now that the pills won't be interferring with the relationship. You won't be numb anymore and will have the ability to connect in a way which was not possible before. You seem so positive about things and that will get you far. Keep posting, it's always great to have new members. You have a lot to offer. Take care.
10
Thanks Atlas, I am pretty positive right now, because I have alot to live for. If you get a chance read my story, its titled 11/09/06, the first day of the rest of my life.

Felicia
day 36
11
thankyou for shering that,i have been were you are and as someone said it makes a big defernse, when you have a loving man, there for you, my hubby and i have been maried for 27,years, now, but things have not been good, in the last 2years, we are booth in recovory, but i have relpesd, a few times no, and latly i just don,t caer, he has made things vary hard on me, he fights with me every day, over enything, and the last time i went to rehabe he told me i could not come home, i was planing, on going back into rehab, after the new year, but im in so mush fear that hil take the house away from me, we yous to have sush a good marige, 15years of suborty, then everthing feel apart, ive had to be on pain meds for medcel resons but no its,just a addiction, and he youses from time to time but im the bade one, everthing is my fault, in his eays. i can,t do enything writ, so he says, it takes a toll on your selfworth, i wish we could have what you have , you a vary lucky, i wish you good luck in your recovory. love karen
12
Hi Karen, thanks for responding. I have a good man but believe me it's not perfect, he does not trust me yet either, I am not on our checking account, I have to ask for money when needed, I can't even go to the grocery store without, but I alos know that I did this and I have to earn my trust. But I do think that you should take care of you, you know that they tell us in rehab that in recovery you have to put you first! If he loves you he will support you, and if he does not support you, its time you work on you! I'm here if you need me.

Felicia
37 days