*Twelve Steps of Sponsorship*
1. I will not help you to stay and wallow in limbo.
2. I will help you to grow, to become more productive, by your definition.
3. I will help you become more autonomous, more loving of yourself, more excited, less sensitive, more free to become the authority for your own living.
4. I can not give you dreams or "fix you up" simply because I can not.
5. I can not give you growth, or grow for you. You must grow for yourself by facing reality, grim as it may be at times.
6. I can not take away your loneliness or your pain.
7. I can not sense your world for you, evaluate your goals for you, tell you what is best for your world; because you have your own world in which you must live.
8. I can not convince you of the necessity to make the vital decision of choosing the frightening uncertainty of growing over the safe misery of remaining static.
9. I want to be with you and know you as a rich and growing friend;
yet I can not get close to you when you choose not to grow.
10. When I begin to care for you out of pity or when I begin to lose faith in you, then I am inhibiting both for you and for me.
11. You must know and understand my help is conditional. I will be with you and "hang in there" with you so long as I continue to get even the slightest hint that you are still trying to grow.
12. If you can accept this, then perhaps we can help each other to
become what God meant us to be, mature adults, leaving childishness
forever to the little children of the world.
This is good post Kathi...
I think this is one of the difficult things for me to do is to let go completely of those who choose to go back out....I pray for them but it still hurts and to watch the self-destruction, to watch the disease kick in so forcefully and take people to greater depths of despair, it's so ugly....
I am reminded though, addiction/alcoholism is a fatal disease....Today I am grateful that I'm living in the solution and not out there with my friend....
When we use, we are guaranteed jails, instituitions & death....
QUOTE |
10. When I begin to care for you out of pity or when I begin to lose faith in you, then I am inhibiting both for you and for me. |
I think this is one of the difficult things for me to do is to let go completely of those who choose to go back out....I pray for them but it still hurts and to watch the self-destruction, to watch the disease kick in so forcefully and take people to greater depths of despair, it's so ugly....
I am reminded though, addiction/alcoholism is a fatal disease....Today I am grateful that I'm living in the solution and not out there with my friend....
When we use, we are guaranteed jails, instituitions & death....
Thank You & I am printing this out so I can keep it on my mirror & help motivate me....
MJ/Sabrina
MJ/Sabrina
11. You must know and understand my help is conditional. I will be with you and "hang in there" with you so long as I continue to get even the slightest hint that you are still trying to grow.
I like this one. There are way too many women looking for a good sponsor. If I feel someone is wasting my time with excuses and drama, I'm afraid I have to let them go. Of course I ask for guidance before doing so but I hate it when I have to let someone go.
I like this one. There are way too many women looking for a good sponsor. If I feel someone is wasting my time with excuses and drama, I'm afraid I have to let them go. Of course I ask for guidance before doing so but I hate it when I have to let someone go.
GEEEZ Im NEVER going to get stuff done but I just HAD to do this
Whether it matters or not Kat (((((((((((((((((((HUGS & THANKYOU)))))))))))))))))
You have so much wisdom I can & do take heed to
Love Sabrina
Whether it matters or not Kat (((((((((((((((((((HUGS & THANKYOU)))))))))))))))))
You have so much wisdom I can & do take heed to
Love Sabrina
Thanks for the post Kat. I wondered if some of you guys were sponsors. that is an admirable yet difficult position to hold. I'm afraid I would not be able to do that according to the guidelines. I'm way to naive. I really admire those that can and are sponsors!
Hi Kat,
Boy I don't think I could ever be a sponsor. If you don't mind answering, how long were you in recovery before you became a sponsor? Seems like a lot of growth is required before one is ready to take on this responsibility.
You're and all sponsors awesome!
Jan
Boy I don't think I could ever be a sponsor. If you don't mind answering, how long were you in recovery before you became a sponsor? Seems like a lot of growth is required before one is ready to take on this responsibility.
You're and all sponsors awesome!
Jan
I started sponsoring right after I finished the steps. I think I was a little over a year sober. I didn't have the steps finished before then because it took me a few sponsors to get the one I finally settled in with. Sponsoring was tough in the beginning. I had to turn to my own sponsor often for advice. I was so afraid I was going to ruin someone's life. But the purpose of a sponsor is to take a sponsee thru the steps. Any thing else is a bonus. I've been fired. I've had girls go out. I've cried over them and with them and it's all worth every minute. After we work the 12th step which is "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs" we want to give back what was so freely given to us. If you aren't ready to sponsor someone you probably haven't worked all the steps yet. Your time will come if you're in the program. Just stay in today and don't worry about it.