Good morning Vinny....
xxx
Cowgirl
good morning cowgirl,is it safe to talk,you an't packin any weapons on ya[lol]
They're holstered for good... you're safe.
How are you feeling?
CG
How are you feeling?
CG
I am so very grateful that I have gained so much more insight into drug abuse. I am taking the adice of the last post and have decided not to Baker Act my daughter. Unless I see that her life in in DANGER. At that point I won't hesitate.
I tried to talk to her last night and she said she didn't want to talk to me, but that she would talk to a professional. I have already made the phone call to make her an appointment. I realize that she has to be the one to make the decision to quit God only knows that if I could take this burden off of her that I would be glad to carry it.
College starts back in late August and I don't know if I should send her. Even if she gets all of the drugs out of her system and goes to a professional I am afraid that if I am not there to watch her that she could fall back into using drugs. They are so prevalent on college campuses.
Any advice on this one?
Thank you again everyone for caring I was so lost and I just didin't know what to do.
KATT
I tried to talk to her last night and she said she didn't want to talk to me, but that she would talk to a professional. I have already made the phone call to make her an appointment. I realize that she has to be the one to make the decision to quit God only knows that if I could take this burden off of her that I would be glad to carry it.
College starts back in late August and I don't know if I should send her. Even if she gets all of the drugs out of her system and goes to a professional I am afraid that if I am not there to watch her that she could fall back into using drugs. They are so prevalent on college campuses.
Any advice on this one?
Thank you again everyone for caring I was so lost and I just didin't know what to do.
KATT
mom...
I hope you dont take this the wrong way... but I fear you need to get some hard education about addiction and dealing with the addict brain.... case in point... your last post you said something to the efffect that is your daughter went back to college she might fall back to using drugs withou 'me there to watch her'... well I am here to tell you... if she is an addict... she will use whether you are there or not... she will get drugs wether she has money or not.... many of us used despite our husbands.. wives ,,, kids.. the law... none of it mattered... so it has nothing to do with how much or how little someone else loves us... once we turn the corner to addiction ... it is all about using and getting our drugs.... you simply can not make her stop.... you can support her and help show her the light but to say that you can single handedly be responsible for her recovery or lack of in the case of your not being present at her college just isnt the case and it isnt fair for you to think that.
Your daughter needs to get to the point that she wants to stop... I know that for you watching her struggle to get there and wondering what live shattering event might occur for her to 'get it' is going to have to happen is hard and heart wrenching but it is truely what is best for her... but some people just get sick and tired of being sick and tired.... it is hard work to get your drug all the time and eventually they stop working... maybe she will get there... who knows... but if you enable her by either doing the leg work for her it wont last and she will manipulate you into a false sense of security until college and then it will start again... we as addict are prolly the best manipulators in the world..
my advise again for you is to go to alanon meetings and talk to professionals in your own right.. get educated to find out how best to help your addicted daughter not just your daughter.. because now there is a difference... what your heart tells you to do and what might be best are often too different things... in fact there is a woman that often comes on here and she found out the hard way but now her son seems to be doing well .. she first wanted to coddle and cojoil but soon found that was keeping him sick...
please bear in mind i didnt read your whole strory so you might now be doing alot of that .. i only saw the one line and a red flag went up.... I have a child of my own and I would be feeling the same way you are ... but you need to arm your self with knowledge because you are fighting a formabible foe here....
best to you..
Teresa
I hope you dont take this the wrong way... but I fear you need to get some hard education about addiction and dealing with the addict brain.... case in point... your last post you said something to the efffect that is your daughter went back to college she might fall back to using drugs withou 'me there to watch her'... well I am here to tell you... if she is an addict... she will use whether you are there or not... she will get drugs wether she has money or not.... many of us used despite our husbands.. wives ,,, kids.. the law... none of it mattered... so it has nothing to do with how much or how little someone else loves us... once we turn the corner to addiction ... it is all about using and getting our drugs.... you simply can not make her stop.... you can support her and help show her the light but to say that you can single handedly be responsible for her recovery or lack of in the case of your not being present at her college just isnt the case and it isnt fair for you to think that.
Your daughter needs to get to the point that she wants to stop... I know that for you watching her struggle to get there and wondering what live shattering event might occur for her to 'get it' is going to have to happen is hard and heart wrenching but it is truely what is best for her... but some people just get sick and tired of being sick and tired.... it is hard work to get your drug all the time and eventually they stop working... maybe she will get there... who knows... but if you enable her by either doing the leg work for her it wont last and she will manipulate you into a false sense of security until college and then it will start again... we as addict are prolly the best manipulators in the world..
my advise again for you is to go to alanon meetings and talk to professionals in your own right.. get educated to find out how best to help your addicted daughter not just your daughter.. because now there is a difference... what your heart tells you to do and what might be best are often too different things... in fact there is a woman that often comes on here and she found out the hard way but now her son seems to be doing well .. she first wanted to coddle and cojoil but soon found that was keeping him sick...
please bear in mind i didnt read your whole strory so you might now be doing alot of that .. i only saw the one line and a red flag went up.... I have a child of my own and I would be feeling the same way you are ... but you need to arm your self with knowledge because you are fighting a formabible foe here....
best to you..
Teresa
Dear MOther, Maybe your daughter isn't intoodeep just yet. Maybe talking to someone would really do her some good. Maybe you being on her back (lovingly) is a good thing. She seems occasionally willing to consider it. SO she knows, if only in the back of her mind, she's playing with fire. Did she ever read some of the posts? If she's only 18 and hasn't been using too long, too heavily, stepping in on your part just might be the right thing to do. She has to want it, but if she doesn't know how hard it will be to get out of, she should. You know her, we don't. Talk to other parents of users...see if she'll talk. Might take a bunch of attempts, but I don't think we're (you're) dealing with a hardened addict just yet. God Bless. Start a new post and let us know how it's going. Much Love Beck
Thanks to all the great help everyone on this site is giving me I am starting to get the picture when it comes to my daughter. It has to be her choice and she has to want to quit I can't do it for her. Believe me if I could do it I certainly would.
But a little problem cropped up tonight when she came home from a friends' house and I need help on how to handle this. As soon as she walked in the door she said that she had been talking with some "friends" and they suggested
a doctor in Jacksonvile that prescribes medicines like methadone and sub....
I tried to explain to her that was not a good idea and that we needed to talk about it before she went to her appointment. She made an appointment for this coming Thursday and I don't know how to get her to realize that it would be a mistake to take methadone. Surely the doctor will do some type of tests and not just prescribe this medicine to an 18 year old. I don't know how this works can anyone explain it to me?
Again thanks for any help
katt
But a little problem cropped up tonight when she came home from a friends' house and I need help on how to handle this. As soon as she walked in the door she said that she had been talking with some "friends" and they suggested
a doctor in Jacksonvile that prescribes medicines like methadone and sub....
I tried to explain to her that was not a good idea and that we needed to talk about it before she went to her appointment. She made an appointment for this coming Thursday and I don't know how to get her to realize that it would be a mistake to take methadone. Surely the doctor will do some type of tests and not just prescribe this medicine to an 18 year old. I don't know how this works can anyone explain it to me?
Again thanks for any help
katt
Katt,
I didn't read your entire story with your daughter. She is using oxy's. I can tell you about methadone. Tell your daughter NOT to consider taking it. It is so hard to get off. The withdrawl is brutal. Many people say it is worse than withdrawling off herion. I have detoxed from methadone. This was back in 2002 and I was on a very low dose of it. It took me months to feel better.Seriously she would be making a huge mistake to get caught up in that mess. Methadone is a scheduled 2 narcotic and is very strong and habit forming, she may as well keep taking oxy's. Switching to methadone isn't going to make a big difference in her life.
Now as for the suboxone, I have heard better success stories with that option. If it is used in small doses and uses short term ( 3-10 wks). If needs to be tappered off and under a doctor's supervision. You can withdrawl from sub as well but it shouldn't be too bad if used for a short time. My ex husband was taking vicodin and started sub about 6 weeks ago. He is down to 1 mgs a day and is ready to quit. If took away all his withdrawls and he says he is feeling great!
So between the 2 sub may be the best option. Either that or just sucking up the withdrawls she may have and getting on with life.Getting OTC medications like Comtrex,Motrin,Immodium Ad etc. Sure it will be very painful but it has been done before.
She could also find a doctor that would be willing to give her clonidine. It is a blood pressure medication and will help some with withdrawls. Either that or rehab...
Good luck, I couldn't imagaine being in yor situation. I have a daughter that is almost 14. I am in the Tampa area. There are tons of sub doctor's in Florida, she shouldn't have a problem finding one.
Ps. What about going to meetings with her? It may help her and you as well. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers this evening.
Take care!~ Rae
I didn't read your entire story with your daughter. She is using oxy's. I can tell you about methadone. Tell your daughter NOT to consider taking it. It is so hard to get off. The withdrawl is brutal. Many people say it is worse than withdrawling off herion. I have detoxed from methadone. This was back in 2002 and I was on a very low dose of it. It took me months to feel better.Seriously she would be making a huge mistake to get caught up in that mess. Methadone is a scheduled 2 narcotic and is very strong and habit forming, she may as well keep taking oxy's. Switching to methadone isn't going to make a big difference in her life.
Now as for the suboxone, I have heard better success stories with that option. If it is used in small doses and uses short term ( 3-10 wks). If needs to be tappered off and under a doctor's supervision. You can withdrawl from sub as well but it shouldn't be too bad if used for a short time. My ex husband was taking vicodin and started sub about 6 weeks ago. He is down to 1 mgs a day and is ready to quit. If took away all his withdrawls and he says he is feeling great!
So between the 2 sub may be the best option. Either that or just sucking up the withdrawls she may have and getting on with life.Getting OTC medications like Comtrex,Motrin,Immodium Ad etc. Sure it will be very painful but it has been done before.
She could also find a doctor that would be willing to give her clonidine. It is a blood pressure medication and will help some with withdrawls. Either that or rehab...
Good luck, I couldn't imagaine being in yor situation. I have a daughter that is almost 14. I am in the Tampa area. There are tons of sub doctor's in Florida, she shouldn't have a problem finding one.
Ps. What about going to meetings with her? It may help her and you as well. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers this evening.
Take care!~ Rae
