I want to start off by saying Thank You to everyone on this board. Especially those of you who were on here in winter/spring of 2005. I spent countless hours reading post after post, and it helped me get through a very tough time. I still come back every now and again and read. I never posted when I spent hours reading. So I guess this is a very late Thank You. The reason I am here today is because I am looking for a poem or letter for my cousin. My cousin has just recently learned that her sister in-law in very very heavy into crystal meth. The family tried an intervention and the sister in-law ran away, she has not been seen since. The sister in-law has 2 kids, one is in first year of collage the other is still in high school. The kids are very hurt. When my cuz was telling me about the kids I told her if the kids could just realize that is not thier mom,it is her disease, she is an addict and controlled by her drug. This is the reason for wanting the poem/letter to give to the kids. The letter/poem had these words in it:"I will lie, steal, manipulate, I am an addict this is what I do" I am not sure exactly how it goes but I know those words were in it. When I first read it, I was floored because it was so true. If anyone knows it or were to get a copy of it, I would really appreciate it. Thanks so much
This one?
Hello, I am your Disease
I Hate meetings...I Hate higher powers...I Hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering. Allow me to introduce myself, I am the disease of addiction. I Am cunning, baffling, and powerful. That's Me. I have killed millions and I am pleased.
I love to catch you with the element of suprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, haven't I? Wasn't I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn't you call on me? I was there, I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I Love to make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. When you can't feel anything at all. This is true gratification. And all that I ask from you is long term suffering. I've been there for you always.
When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life. People don't take me seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks, even diabetes, they take seriously. Fools. Without my help these things would not be possible. I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.
More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a 12 step program. Your program, Your meeting, Your higher power. All of these things weaken me, and I can't function in the manner I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here quietly. You don't see me but I am growing bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live I may only exist. But I am here...
And until we meet again, If we meet again, I wish you death and suffering.
Hello, I am your Disease
I Hate meetings...I Hate higher powers...I Hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering. Allow me to introduce myself, I am the disease of addiction. I Am cunning, baffling, and powerful. That's Me. I have killed millions and I am pleased.
I love to catch you with the element of suprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, haven't I? Wasn't I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn't you call on me? I was there, I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I Love to make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. When you can't feel anything at all. This is true gratification. And all that I ask from you is long term suffering. I've been there for you always.
When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all the good things in your life. People don't take me seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks, even diabetes, they take seriously. Fools. Without my help these things would not be possible. I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.
More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a 12 step program. Your program, Your meeting, Your higher power. All of these things weaken me, and I can't function in the manner I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here quietly. You don't see me but I am growing bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live I may only exist. But I am here...
And until we meet again, If we meet again, I wish you death and suffering.
or is it this....
What Addicts Do
My name's Jon. I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is my needs and how to go about fulfilling them. You are a tool to me, something to use. When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.
My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my drugs that I could be considered sociopathic. I have no empathy for you or anyone else. It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.
My behavior cannot and will not change until I make a decision to stop using/drinking and then follow it up with a plan of action.
And until I make that decision, I will hurt you again and again and again.
Stop being surprised.
I am an addict. And that's what addicts do.
__________________
What Codependents Do
My name's Jane. I'm a codependent. And this is what codependents do.
You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat myself better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is everyone elses needs and how to go about fulfilling them. Within five minutes of meeting you, I will be offering you help.
My own feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my enabling that I have no empathy for myself.
My behavior cannot and will not change until I make a decision to stop enabling and then follow it up with a plan of action to practice acceptance, self-compassion and self-care.
And until I make that decision, I will help again and again and again.
Stop being surprised.
I am a codependent. And that's what codependents do.
What Addicts Do
My name's Jon. I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is my needs and how to go about fulfilling them. You are a tool to me, something to use. When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.
My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my drugs that I could be considered sociopathic. I have no empathy for you or anyone else. It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.
My behavior cannot and will not change until I make a decision to stop using/drinking and then follow it up with a plan of action.
And until I make that decision, I will hurt you again and again and again.
Stop being surprised.
I am an addict. And that's what addicts do.
__________________
What Codependents Do
My name's Jane. I'm a codependent. And this is what codependents do.
You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat myself better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is everyone elses needs and how to go about fulfilling them. Within five minutes of meeting you, I will be offering you help.
My own feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my enabling that I have no empathy for myself.
My behavior cannot and will not change until I make a decision to stop enabling and then follow it up with a plan of action to practice acceptance, self-compassion and self-care.
And until I make that decision, I will help again and again and again.
Stop being surprised.
I am a codependent. And that's what codependents do.
12 stepper thanks for posting, but that is not it. I have that one, and plan to send it to my cousin.
mistyeyes YES that is it! Thanks so much.
mistyeyes YES that is it! Thanks so much.
Arrg, Tina, I hate that one. Headed for four years of being clean and it still bugs me. It irks me how it lumps us all together as being incapable of loving or caring about anything other than our doc. Not all of us plunged to those levels. Ask any addict in active addiction if they love someone and I bet they'll say they do.
I'm not really saying this to you, Tina, I know you only posted the letter that was requested. It's just one of those things that make me gripe, lol.
xxxxoooo
I'm not really saying this to you, Tina, I know you only posted the letter that was requested. It's just one of those things that make me gripe, lol.
xxxxoooo
Kat I don't like this one either, think the addicts side is a bit out there ( I know my husband loved me ), and the codependents side is to pretty....
Tor, tor, if you are looking for info to send to someone watching, hit the search button on the bottom of the page and search cynical one and Bob B on the family board. They both have put up excellent posts....
Have agreat night,
Love,
Tina
Tor, tor, if you are looking for info to send to someone watching, hit the search button on the bottom of the page and search cynical one and Bob B on the family board. They both have put up excellent posts....
Have agreat night,
Love,
Tina
mistyeyes and Kat,
Thanks for posting your opions. After reading through the letter a few times I totally agree with you on the love part. When using I loved my son just as much as I love him today. I did not send this one to my cousin to show her niece and nephew, I thought it might be a bit much. I did send the disease one. I don't want them to read something and then think " oh she don't even love me" I want them to maybe realize that this is not thier mom doing these awful things, but it is the drug. To be honest I am not 100% sure this is the one I was looking for. I could have sworn it had manipulate towards the end of it. It was three years ago that I read it.
tor tor
Thanks for posting your opions. After reading through the letter a few times I totally agree with you on the love part. When using I loved my son just as much as I love him today. I did not send this one to my cousin to show her niece and nephew, I thought it might be a bit much. I did send the disease one. I don't want them to read something and then think " oh she don't even love me" I want them to maybe realize that this is not thier mom doing these awful things, but it is the drug. To be honest I am not 100% sure this is the one I was looking for. I could have sworn it had manipulate towards the end of it. It was three years ago that I read it.
tor tor