A little less than 2 weeks ago I found out my 21 year old daughter is a heroin addict.A year ago her boyfriend OD and she carries the guilt of not calling 911 in time. A year ago we did not know this is how he died. My daughter was away at college and we wanted her to come home she insisted she did not do drugs and she wanted to stay in college she was 6 months away from graduating early. This is a child that never gave us an once of trouble EVER. Anyway we believed the boy died from a mix of all his anti depression meds. She even called his parents a few days prior today he seemed suicidal. Well she convinced my husband and I that all she wanted to do is stay in school and graduate. Now I know my daughter had been living a double life she worked 2 jobs one we thought she had quit. I also had gotten onto her Facebook and learned she has many websites web cam porno, prostitution etc. She is in rehab now when we cleaned out her apartment 3 drivers licenses ( of strangers), traffic tickets unanswered Her fake life was spiraling out of control. This was a child that graduated college 6 months early. I found the heroin needs. spoon etc. when we were going on vacation together in her purse I suspected something because she look like she weighed 80 lbs. I caught her and she wanted help . Now in rehab all she wants to do is call her friends and leave.When they say they will call my husband and I she stops. I am so distraught.
Hi teresambear, and welcome, unfortunately you face the same dilemma as many relatives of addicts have to face, you want to help, but don't know how- unfortunately the fact is there is little you can do to help your daughter, unless she wants help- if your daughter is in rehab to please you or for any other reason other than wanting to quit for herself- she is wasting time and money - IT WONT WORK- no maybe about it- getting clean from drugs is hard, but staying clean is the real battle- it requires one hundred percent commitment from the addict- its really hard work- but it can be done- but if your daughter is not totally committed she won't stay clean for long, sorry to be the bearer of bad news- those of us who have been through this rehab process know what it takes- i hope i have interpreted your post wrongly and that your daughter is in rehab because she wants to be there- if so be supportive and encouraging - she will be emotionally fragile in early recovery- just be there for her- but be aware of the possibility of relapse- very few of us get it right first time- she will need support and would be advised to join NA (Narcotics Anonymous) or another recovery program-very few of us make it on our own- keep posting here- let us know how you get on- wishing you and your daughter the best of luck-
teresambear,
Travelin'Man hit it right on the head. Your daughter is 21 years old and no longer under your control. Unless she WANTS the help there is nothing you can do. She has to be "sick and tired of being sick and tired" as the AA/NA saying goes. It may mean she will have to lose ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING she holds dear before she finally reaches out for the help[ she so desperately needs now.
Do yourself a favor....please find a group called Al-Anon in your city and go to their meetings. If you are not familiar with addiction it will be of great help to you. These folks know what you are going through.
Also, if you haven't already, go to the Families/Partners of Addicts page here on this site and talk to other parents who have children and /or loved ones fighting addiction.They too have been in your shoes and will be a great source of comfort.;
Good luck to you!!
granny
Travelin'Man hit it right on the head. Your daughter is 21 years old and no longer under your control. Unless she WANTS the help there is nothing you can do. She has to be "sick and tired of being sick and tired" as the AA/NA saying goes. It may mean she will have to lose ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING she holds dear before she finally reaches out for the help[ she so desperately needs now.
Do yourself a favor....please find a group called Al-Anon in your city and go to their meetings. If you are not familiar with addiction it will be of great help to you. These folks know what you are going through.
Also, if you haven't already, go to the Families/Partners of Addicts page here on this site and talk to other parents who have children and /or loved ones fighting addiction.They too have been in your shoes and will be a great source of comfort.;
Good luck to you!!
granny
