I have worked at a company for over 10 years. I didn't get along with my bellcaptains, one who just left.
Anyway, last week, I got a one then a three day suspension; a one day for using my cell....then the said bellcaptain heard my cell ringing in my pocket. I was coming up from lunch. The bellcaptain told my boss, and he called me on my phone. He called 3 times, so I thought it was my son and an emergency....so, like an idiot, I answered it...that was what got me a three day suspension.
This last week, I was picking up some people, and they hesitated to get on the bus; they were dropped off in aonther vehicle...I pointed to the bus that had our name....the "Dr." took this as condescending. I know how to talk to people; I honestly wasn't trying to be rude...but he found my manner not to his liking. I found his idiocy irritating...lol.
I wasn't trying to be disrespectful...but apparently he is important, and felt I offended him.
Well, that led to a 5 day suspension...they haven't wanted me there for a while...but now they are forcefully trying to get rid of me. The dr of HR is an evil little witch, which I avoid like the plauge...she has the power, and she apparently is handling the discipline...
ON the other side, I saw a friend who used to work with us that is in the HR department at another property; they are hiring for the driver position...so I am off to put in a resume on monday. He liked me and they have another inhouse canidate, but I have the cdl...they don't. So, that might be very beneficial for me.
But, with 9 days off this month, it is going to hurt me financially...big time.
funny, I don't want to be one of those people that lose everything in sobriety...but it was a long time ago that I needed to let that job go. Either I suck or God is doing for me what I can't do for myself...
I would really like to go to school fulltime, but how do I pay the mortagage and do that?? I will find a way....
Thanks for letting me vent...
I think I have told you that I lost my job at about 9 months sobriety. I think I was called into the senior partner's office around 6 months sorbriety but managed to negotiate some time to look for another position and ultimately left about three months later..
I was devastated when this happened. I couldn't understand why, in that I was finally getting my life together for the first time. Perhaps the failing economy had something to do with it, this was in 1990, after the S&L collapse, but mostly there was a lot of behavior on my part that took my employer aback. The relationship was rattled, I was being difficult (though I could not see it) and if anyone had to go, I had certainly made myself the easiest target.
This is what happens when we get clean. Long suppressed emotions gurgle to the surface and sometimes erupt. Our behavior appears erratic and unbalanced. And all this occurs even if we are doing things like meetings, church, therapy, etc.
When I went to my home group and raised my hand about my devastation over being fired, about my abject terror of facing possible bankruptcy and foreclosure on my home (there were a few jobs for people in my line of work in those days and somehow, I could not face entering a situation that might be as bad as what I was leaving). I was scared and in high anxiety/high panic mode.
One of the oldtimers responded as follows: "Sometimes we simply have to accept that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves."
He was right. Losing that job was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was holding on to it with a death grip.
Letting go of addictions is kind of like allowing a part of us to die. This is painful and inevitable. It is also entirely necessary, for without this dying, there can be no rebirth into a new and better way of living.
Good luck.
August
I was devastated when this happened. I couldn't understand why, in that I was finally getting my life together for the first time. Perhaps the failing economy had something to do with it, this was in 1990, after the S&L collapse, but mostly there was a lot of behavior on my part that took my employer aback. The relationship was rattled, I was being difficult (though I could not see it) and if anyone had to go, I had certainly made myself the easiest target.
This is what happens when we get clean. Long suppressed emotions gurgle to the surface and sometimes erupt. Our behavior appears erratic and unbalanced. And all this occurs even if we are doing things like meetings, church, therapy, etc.
When I went to my home group and raised my hand about my devastation over being fired, about my abject terror of facing possible bankruptcy and foreclosure on my home (there were a few jobs for people in my line of work in those days and somehow, I could not face entering a situation that might be as bad as what I was leaving). I was scared and in high anxiety/high panic mode.
One of the oldtimers responded as follows: "Sometimes we simply have to accept that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves."
He was right. Losing that job was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was holding on to it with a death grip.
Letting go of addictions is kind of like allowing a part of us to die. This is painful and inevitable. It is also entirely necessary, for without this dying, there can be no rebirth into a new and better way of living.
Good luck.
August
Dear Kerry, when one door closes another usually opens. I really believe in fate. I realize it's a scary time for you, but I'm betting it will turn out okay. You will end up in a better place where you will be happier. Have faith in God and in yourself. It sounds like they were just trying to give you a hard time. Try not to take it personally and go forward bravely. You will find a job that will apreciate you more and maybe even pay you better.Just have faith and good luck. Love, Kat
Dear Kerry I agree with Kat.There is usually a reason for things like this.Maybe it is a sign that you are ready to make a change.What the heck girl roll the dice you may come up a winning
Even though in my eyes you already are...mj
Even though in my eyes you already are...mj
The only thing that we are required to change in recovery is EVERYTHING.
It sounds to me the journey has begun.This is when you really start noticing the wonderful gifts of sobriety start materializing.Props to ya,my friend.
It sounds to me the journey has begun.This is when you really start noticing the wonderful gifts of sobriety start materializing.Props to ya,my friend.
Whatever happens Kerry, I hope you are happy with the outcome.
Regards,
Tom
Regards,
Tom
Thank you all for your support...even Kat...thanks....I really hope that I didn't hurt you in the past.
Anyway, it is hurtful because the write ups are silly; they just want me out. This has been a long time coming; the director of HR has made it clear to the union that she wants me out; this was 3 years ago she revealed it.
Also, I probably got over 5 POSITIVE comments this week regarding my service; however, they are using one disoriented guest's perception to continue thier advancing me out the door...
Last night, another guest said that one of our valet's tried to run him over; funny, that was dismissed to guest lunacy.
Anyway, it is high time I put trust in God...
Thanks, August, Tim, and Molly and Kat...it is very scary to lose the only security that I have had in all these unstable years...
I am just afraid and practicing the trust in God thing...however, I am still tearful...
Kerry
Anyway, it is hurtful because the write ups are silly; they just want me out. This has been a long time coming; the director of HR has made it clear to the union that she wants me out; this was 3 years ago she revealed it.
Also, I probably got over 5 POSITIVE comments this week regarding my service; however, they are using one disoriented guest's perception to continue thier advancing me out the door...
Last night, another guest said that one of our valet's tried to run him over; funny, that was dismissed to guest lunacy.
Anyway, it is high time I put trust in God...
Thanks, August, Tim, and Molly and Kat...it is very scary to lose the only security that I have had in all these unstable years...
I am just afraid and practicing the trust in God thing...however, I am still tearful...
Kerry
Thanks, Fishboy...
<smile>
<smile>
Hey Kerry,
You know you weren't real happy. It drives you nuts being there, it messes your head up and puts you in a bad place....
Then on the flip side, you felt you couldn't lose it now....how will you get by. You knew where were good at what you did, you did some why me sh*t too...Think just how you have always got by. My god look in the mirror Ker have you ever not fought......I told you a awhile ago to get out, well I told you to get off the island too....Change is not a bad thing.....Do you wonder if this might be what is suppose to happen. No matter how you try sh*t still happens. No matter what you do, how well you walk on them eggshells.......
It looks like the reality is showing itself, has been. Look at the other changes, you got school set up, you are looking toward your future....It is scary I know but you can do anything. You always could, anyone can....Have some faith, believe in yourself. Really believe.....
Love Yah.....
Tina
You know you weren't real happy. It drives you nuts being there, it messes your head up and puts you in a bad place....
Then on the flip side, you felt you couldn't lose it now....how will you get by. You knew where were good at what you did, you did some why me sh*t too...Think just how you have always got by. My god look in the mirror Ker have you ever not fought......I told you a awhile ago to get out, well I told you to get off the island too....Change is not a bad thing.....Do you wonder if this might be what is suppose to happen. No matter how you try sh*t still happens. No matter what you do, how well you walk on them eggshells.......
It looks like the reality is showing itself, has been. Look at the other changes, you got school set up, you are looking toward your future....It is scary I know but you can do anything. You always could, anyone can....Have some faith, believe in yourself. Really believe.....
Love Yah.....
Tina
Kerry,
This is something you cannot change now, I know it is really bothering you, but if it were me, I would do my best to just let it go... move on. This may just be the best thing that happened to you, you never know.
I remember a long time ago I was let go from a job (a bad one at that) I was devastated, but, in hindsight, it was the best thing that could have happened.. It actually changed my life in ways I wont go into here.. the moral being use this as an oppurtunity.
Best Regards,
Tom
This is something you cannot change now, I know it is really bothering you, but if it were me, I would do my best to just let it go... move on. This may just be the best thing that happened to you, you never know.
I remember a long time ago I was let go from a job (a bad one at that) I was devastated, but, in hindsight, it was the best thing that could have happened.. It actually changed my life in ways I wont go into here.. the moral being use this as an oppurtunity.
Best Regards,
Tom
Have some faith, believe in yourself. Really believe
I used to; especially when it came to work. For some reason (pills, rehab, that place, the ole ex) my confidence has been shaken.
But, like I said, I saw a guy I used to work with today, and he is in charge of hiring...for the same job at a different place...and I have the qualifications...lol....
so, I will take your post with me in the car, and I will believe....
Thanks, Misty.
Kerry
I used to; especially when it came to work. For some reason (pills, rehab, that place, the ole ex) my confidence has been shaken.
But, like I said, I saw a guy I used to work with today, and he is in charge of hiring...for the same job at a different place...and I have the qualifications...lol....
so, I will take your post with me in the car, and I will believe....
Thanks, Misty.
Kerry
I would say, thank you for allowing me to keep my postion while I get a break (5 days) to find a REAL job. Take the 5 days and dont look back look forward. Its too hard to find a position while you have one anyway.
Kerbear- get your ducks lined up, and another gig and tell em to f- off and start anew. Easier to get a job wile you have one...
I'd hire you.
good luck Kerry, I hope it all works out for you. It really bugs me the father of your kids doesn't have to help out, I know that has nothing to do with your job, but God, life would be a little easier for you and your kids if he had to cough up some dough.
keep us posted,
Redd
Thanks....and yep, I know redd.
It was a long time coming, but I am trying to trust that God is doing for me what I can't do for myself...
and hoping he sends me to the right place.
Those nights were killing me and so were the stupid bulls*** rules for me, but everyone else got the heads turned at their screw ups...lol.
Breathing and trusting here....
Kerry
Thanks wiversen and NICE TO SEE YOU BULLWINKLE....
Your island is beautiful today...
Kerry
It was a long time coming, but I am trying to trust that God is doing for me what I can't do for myself...
and hoping he sends me to the right place.
Those nights were killing me and so were the stupid bulls*** rules for me, but everyone else got the heads turned at their screw ups...lol.
Breathing and trusting here....
Kerry
Thanks wiversen and NICE TO SEE YOU BULLWINKLE....
Your island is beautiful today...
Kerry
here's a little story for you, kerry...
________
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared.
Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic. "please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," he pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop... ."
With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.
"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message:
"Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!" God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.
Thought for the Day:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring. He sends you a sunrise every morning
Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow,sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
_________
i've had quite a few bricks thrown my way, kerry...some i could see why they were hurled at me and some, at the time, i didn't understand. these five days off can be a blessing or something you resent. it's a choice. what a perfect opportunity to shore up on your recovery program - maybe work your next step?
i love ya -
sammy
________
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared.
Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic. "please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," he pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop... ."
With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.
"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message:
"Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!" God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.
Thought for the Day:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring. He sends you a sunrise every morning
Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow,sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
_________
i've had quite a few bricks thrown my way, kerry...some i could see why they were hurled at me and some, at the time, i didn't understand. these five days off can be a blessing or something you resent. it's a choice. what a perfect opportunity to shore up on your recovery program - maybe work your next step?
i love ya -
sammy
thank you sammy....
you always tell me what I need to hear...
Hugs back at you.
Kerry
you always tell me what I need to hear...
Hugs back at you.
Kerry