A New Twist

as you have all been following, my son has been in recovery for 3 months. out patient at local recovery center. seeing doctors, meetings at the center, meetings after dinner. started working a few weeks ago. manages to go in late in order to go to the center a few mornings a week. he really wants to be 'normal' like everyone else and has been trying relentlessly doing everything he is supposed to. but - new symptoms are coming into the picture - crippling social anxiety and racing thoughts. he is thinking it is bipolar depression. we do have a bit of mental illness/depression in the family. and he has concluded this is why he used other methods to self medicate. because his 'normal' is not normal. I feel like we have traded one nightmare for another. I know medication will help, but it is difficult at this time for him to be ok with that. he is taking something at night that does help to stop the mind. he told me he is miserable as soon as he wakes up, all day, everyday. I am so sad to see him suffer. thanks for listening.
My son has been diagnosed as bipolar. Personally I think it is a catch all diagnosis for drug users that arent currently using. Again the question comes up did the mental issues cause them to use or did the use cause the mental issues. Medication does help bipolar but has a whole new set of problems. Maybe he can get some help or a referral from the treatment center he is currently using. Be careful, I have found that they often play that mental illness card and dont comply with treatment. They use it as an excuse to justify their behavior and use or get prescription medication. Maybe it is the cause but maybe it isnt. Also some doctors prescribe Klonopin and drug users love that stuff. Many of those same symptoms are sometimes a result of discontinuing their DOC and could go away over time. There is an unusually high number of bipolar people out there so it is hard for me to believe there truly are so many. I think most of us get depressed and anxious from time to time and just learn to deal with it without medication or drug use. But you should probably have him evaluated by a professional to get the correct diagnosis.
My daughter has been in the pysch ward for three weeks. She was supposed to go to small rehab but they wont take her as she has been diagnosed schizo affective and bipolar.
If she goes to a rehab that she doesn't like ,I know she will walk out and we get to do this all over again.
I hope your son gets real medical help. He sounds depressed, his brain is trying to adjust.
thanks for the posts. what you both say is pretty much what I thought. He is compliant and seeing drs at the recovery center. I have read medication is very effective in treating bipolar. he is taking something at night that helps. It is not a sedative. it is for bipolar. I have been hoping that it is something related to the drug use. but there was someone in our family tree who had bipolar, so it is possible he has it. he had a car accident, head injury 3 years ago and wants to see a neurologist. so that is the way I am going... encouraging him to talk to the doc's he is seeing to refer to other doc's that he needs. We have gotten this far... I just have to keep pushing him to trust the medical doctors. and know that it will take time.... I looked on line and there are support groups. yes - I did wonder if he was telling me in order to justify a relapse. I have not seen a relapse.... but I am sure I would not notice at this point. as you know it is exhausting to always be wondering whats going on all day, every day... ie is he at work, at meetings, socializing, happy, sad,.... thanks again for listening!

walkedon - sorry to hear of your daughter's diagnosis. as you said, I am realizing this too, medication is the way to go for them, we just cant do it all. I am getting tired, but still in the ring.!
Hows your son doing...
You son sounds like my son. He had social anxiety, depression, alcohol and marijuana abuse. Recently started cocaine. It is awful. He was so depressed and just drank more to make him more depressed. He went to a rehab and signed himself out after 12 days. Relapsed, then detox, then IOP, then relapse and now back in treatment. He said to he wants to be normal but is afraid.
Praying he will engage and love how he feels . He called from the treatment center and said they have him on Prozac and something else. I often wondered if he was bipolar as well. He has such anger bursts and no patience. Very self centered but that could be the addiction.
Praying for our children. praying they can find peace
walkedon - He is doing OK, thanks for asking.

ttktf - my son's addiction started about 5 yrs ago. 2 yrs of trying to wrap our head around what was going on. he has also lived across country and in florida. on his own for about 3 of the 5 years. went to rehab 2 previous times. did well for 4 months each time and then relapsed. he does not like being alone and did not have a steady gf, so also would go to a bar. his job was in labor 6-7 days a week, started taking pain meds that helped him get up and go to work.

we paid for one rehab, insurance paid for another, this time he is home and we said were not paying, he did not want us to pay. he has basic insurance. he went to a local hospital. he has been very involved w meetings and IOP. after 2 months started working again. he just past 3 months clean.

there are a lot of symptoms that appear to be mental illness while they are in addiction. they seem like jekel and hyde. I have seen my son's behavior change a little better each month. like having patience, being calmer (sometimes too calm). he goes to most meetings and appointments. there was a week that he did not do much - he felt isolated and didn't want to be around people. but since then, he has been going to meetings and IOP again. he does not talk much, and most of the time I don't want to ask. even though he seems ok and normal, he says he says he is depressed. he is going to medical drs. he is doing a lot more now than he has in the past. your son's medicines may change as time goes on.

it is all a process.

it is hard to wait and watch. from week to week we don't know what will happen.

be careful about how fast you jump In with ideas on how to help. too much information is over whelming. maybe leave it up to your son and social workers. try to let him say what will help or what living situation he will be comfortable with. you can put some suggestions out there.
sober living is a good idea. he will have support and other people around. but sometimes they don't like sharing a room and too many people around.

it is not easy - to much info is over whelming, on the other hand, they just don't know what they want or what will be best. so many times our son did what we wanted him to, and then he tried too hard and things would turn out wrong.

we are trying to be patient and find the middle ground. it took years to get here, it will take a while to get to dig out of the hole.







I agree with all. It is very difficult to assist or know how to support. With my son, he definitely could benefit from psychiatric care. But, he is like popcorn, bouncing around. I spend a lot of time and effort to get in with a specialist and then he can't seem to get out of bed to go. Or, we go through the whole process, get meds and....after a week or so, he does not want them. Or...he wants something else.

And, I am always curious if he is just drug seeking.

I know it is up to him now. I have let go. He is not doing as bad as he was. He is truly an addict, though, with all substances. I just have to let go and hope he figures it out.

NY, so glad your son is doing well!
HAHA - it is always a guess - perspective - is he doing well? - he seems to be - is he slipping? - he could be. we wont know until it hits us in the face and our hearts are crushed.


The mental health component of addiction is no joke. Depression or other symptoms can either be a derivative of use or be independent of it. In my experience, my mental health/addiction pros want to see about a year of sobriety to make a definitive diagnosis. As the patient, I can't be sure as I know that my brain was essentially hijacked while using. If you're interested, I highly recommend the essay, Darkness Visible by William Styron. It is the most eloquent and unapologetic piece I have ever seen where addiction and depression are concerned.