A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got so lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in 'Mom let's run through the rain,' she said.
'What?' Mom asked.
'Lets run through the rain!' She repeated
'No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit,' Mom replied.
This young child waited about another minute and repeated: 'Mom, let's run through the rain,'
'We'll get soaked if we do,' Mom said.
'No, we won't, Mom.. That's not what you said this morning,' the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?
'Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'
The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.
Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
'Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing,' Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.
And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.
Brilliant story! Kids have just got such great attitudes!!
Thanks for sharing that, it made me smile.
Thanks for sharing that, it made me smile.
Thanks Dee4life for sharing this story. It made me smile, yet felt a bit sad at the same time. We never know how much time we are allotted here.
This reminded me when my youngest daughter and her friend were freshman in high school. We were waiting for some food to go and the two of them went outside in the rain and were jumping and splashing in the puddles.
They were giggling and laughing. At first I thought why would to teenage girls be acting like little children. I even went outside to ask. They said, they remembered how much fun and free they felt playing in the mud puddles as kids. They asked me if I remembered. I stood there watching and then I remembered. They asked me to join them running back and fourth through the many puddles.
So I joined them as I wanted to recapture a few happy memories of being a kid once again. I'm grateful for joining them and finding joy and making a new memory in something as small as playing in the rain and in the puddles once again with people I love.
From writing this a new happy memory has surfaced about making mud pies. Who knows at the right opportunity I may find myself making mud pies once again. Who says I have to be a grown up all the time?
Take care and make some new memories with someone you love today.
This reminded me when my youngest daughter and her friend were freshman in high school. We were waiting for some food to go and the two of them went outside in the rain and were jumping and splashing in the puddles.
They were giggling and laughing. At first I thought why would to teenage girls be acting like little children. I even went outside to ask. They said, they remembered how much fun and free they felt playing in the mud puddles as kids. They asked me if I remembered. I stood there watching and then I remembered. They asked me to join them running back and fourth through the many puddles.
So I joined them as I wanted to recapture a few happy memories of being a kid once again. I'm grateful for joining them and finding joy and making a new memory in something as small as playing in the rain and in the puddles once again with people I love.
From writing this a new happy memory has surfaced about making mud pies. Who knows at the right opportunity I may find myself making mud pies once again. Who says I have to be a grown up all the time?
Take care and make some new memories with someone you love today.
Thanks Dee4life
Thanks for sharing the miracle you witnessed and then were a part of and it shows me how an instant can change the way i look at life and we have plenty of rain for me to practise.....awesome E.S.H
light and love Zac
Thanks for sharing the miracle you witnessed and then were a part of and it shows me how an instant can change the way i look at life and we have plenty of rain for me to practise.....awesome E.S.H
light and love Zac
Thank you Dee4life.
God at Work. Absolutely awesome.
Martin
God at Work. Absolutely awesome.
Martin
the story was sent to me via email, it wasn't me telling the story, good story, eh?
Wonderful. Thank you for sharing it.
Martin
Martin
Nice.
I was thinking the other day (like a good alcoholic does) and it occured to me that 'rain' and 'pain' are quite similar, actually. In walking through pain--feeling it, understanding it, experiencing it--I'm far more appreciative of the sun on my face, the smell of the earth, the sounds of the world around me. Sometimes the rain is cold and raw, blowing and invasive, stormy and threatening, and it permeates everything I am. But it passes. And I survive. And the world is cleansed.
If you ever have the opportunity, I encourage you to read, "Tuesdays With Morrie" by Mitch Albom. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional...
Nice post. Thanks.
I was thinking the other day (like a good alcoholic does) and it occured to me that 'rain' and 'pain' are quite similar, actually. In walking through pain--feeling it, understanding it, experiencing it--I'm far more appreciative of the sun on my face, the smell of the earth, the sounds of the world around me. Sometimes the rain is cold and raw, blowing and invasive, stormy and threatening, and it permeates everything I am. But it passes. And I survive. And the world is cleansed.
If you ever have the opportunity, I encourage you to read, "Tuesdays With Morrie" by Mitch Albom. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional...
Nice post. Thanks.
I feel the same Skg and I didn't know why, it just felt right. Then in my continuing exploration of the meaning of this experience for me I found something this morning....about "the depressive position"...a phase in child development, of the development of ego and the unconscious and so on....and from there I found something on "the depressive process"....
And in this context the authors write that the "depressive" position and process is not depression, in fact engaging and going through the depressive process is essential to AVOID depression...
The depressive process takes us into ourselves, away from language and verbalising thoughts (stinking thinking?) and into FEELING...and it is only by going through these feelings that we can come to a deep and profound understanding of our true selves and experience fundamental changes in who we are....of course, like most human beings who have painful feelings locked away I always feared my feelings and fled them or numbed them and occasionally acted them out....the depressive process of getting in touch with our feelings opens up the possibility of authenticity and growth....if we have the courage to face our feelings (the courage to change)....then we will....and of course therapy and the Steps and friendships and fellowships are ways of finding the safety and security to be able to face what is painful in ourselves and our lives...
Fascinating stuff for me and what a coincidence (lol) that your post about feelings is here this afternoon....
I've got tons of stuff now so if anyone wants more ask or I can email articles that might be of interest. I read these things and find they help me make sense of where I'm from, who I am, why I'm ok and how I'm going to keep my recovery and growth going. I'm not the author and I make no pretence of expertise....it's all someone else's esh about life...and like everything and wverywhere else, I take what my HP tells me to like and I leave the rest :)
Martin
macshl@yahoo.co.uk
And in this context the authors write that the "depressive" position and process is not depression, in fact engaging and going through the depressive process is essential to AVOID depression...
The depressive process takes us into ourselves, away from language and verbalising thoughts (stinking thinking?) and into FEELING...and it is only by going through these feelings that we can come to a deep and profound understanding of our true selves and experience fundamental changes in who we are....of course, like most human beings who have painful feelings locked away I always feared my feelings and fled them or numbed them and occasionally acted them out....the depressive process of getting in touch with our feelings opens up the possibility of authenticity and growth....if we have the courage to face our feelings (the courage to change)....then we will....and of course therapy and the Steps and friendships and fellowships are ways of finding the safety and security to be able to face what is painful in ourselves and our lives...
Fascinating stuff for me and what a coincidence (lol) that your post about feelings is here this afternoon....
I've got tons of stuff now so if anyone wants more ask or I can email articles that might be of interest. I read these things and find they help me make sense of where I'm from, who I am, why I'm ok and how I'm going to keep my recovery and growth going. I'm not the author and I make no pretence of expertise....it's all someone else's esh about life...and like everything and wverywhere else, I take what my HP tells me to like and I leave the rest :)
Martin
macshl@yahoo.co.uk
Not to hiijack the thread, but in working through the steps I finally accept that "I R who I B" and stopped worrying about the 'why' of it all. 4 & 5 enabled me to let go of the past.
Get a sponsor and save some money. :) LOL
Get a sponsor and save some money. :) LOL
lol :)
I can't help it.....lol.....I just be interested....and on the note of being who I be, another article I read this morning emphasised that for people like me therapy had to take a certain line....that a key issue for people like me is/was that I never felt accceptable (to the point of not deserving to live) and so the first requirement is that the therapist provided a climate of acceptance.... and it could take a looooong time before it would be "safe" to introduce the possibility of change.... and that should only happen when the client had full accepted themselves AS THEY WERE... at which point change and growth would inevitably begin. So for people like me acceptance is absolutely key to recovery and I couldn't accept myself until others had accepted me....pointer to the power of the F2F meetings and the love in the rooms.
I just love the way all roads lead to Rome. Somebody up there likes us. And I haven't forgotten the sponsor idea my friend, I just feel I need to be a little less complicated before I inflict myself on anyone....lol....she EARNS her money!
Have a great evening!
Martin x
I can't help it.....lol.....I just be interested....and on the note of being who I be, another article I read this morning emphasised that for people like me therapy had to take a certain line....that a key issue for people like me is/was that I never felt accceptable (to the point of not deserving to live) and so the first requirement is that the therapist provided a climate of acceptance.... and it could take a looooong time before it would be "safe" to introduce the possibility of change.... and that should only happen when the client had full accepted themselves AS THEY WERE... at which point change and growth would inevitably begin. So for people like me acceptance is absolutely key to recovery and I couldn't accept myself until others had accepted me....pointer to the power of the F2F meetings and the love in the rooms.
I just love the way all roads lead to Rome. Somebody up there likes us. And I haven't forgotten the sponsor idea my friend, I just feel I need to be a little less complicated before I inflict myself on anyone....lol....she EARNS her money!
Have a great evening!
Martin x
that a key issue for people like me is/was that I never felt accceptable
I never met an alcoholic that felt acceptable. That seems to be a common thing among us. Another aspect of alcoholism that makes us un-unique.
I never met an alcoholic that felt acceptable. That seems to be a common thing among us. Another aspect of alcoholism that makes us un-unique.
A nice story. I love the rain.For some reason I always feel more comfortable in my own skin on rainy days than I do on sunny days. I dunno I just like the rain.
Kat, I think one of the things I am loving about this awful experience is that I am shrinking in size...lol....the desperate need to make myself big enough to...to survive?....is going...the weight of the world is going....fear that others can't cope is going....fear that if I relax I won't cope is going....and of course, by "not coping" I mean the fear that I will be crushed and annihilated if I make a mistake in front of someone is going...phew....and it's great to feel human - to begin to feel I belong...after a lifetime....it's no wonder my heart feels like exploding with joy sometimes....I just spent an hour walking around a lake...I wanted to grab passers-by and say "Look at that red! Those leaves! Isn't the water so....watery!" yes, I'm a nutter....and it's exactly where I want to be, my heart bursting with joy at the beauty and with gratitude at the love I feel flowing from the Creation, this gift, this absolute work of living art that God has granted you and me and everyone....boy....how can I not be in tears....I am so grateful for this...I'm typing this with my Ipod on....another set of gifts....made by men and women using technologies invented by our ingenuity and manufactured by processes men and women crafted and operate, from materials hewn from the Earth, designed, packed, sold....to bring another's artistic talents and skills to my ears and mind and heart in the form of....love....I can feel the love in their music flowing into my heart ....miracle upon miracle upon miracle....and I stood in the park today and watched a bird soar to this music, and then dozens rising in clouds in time to the music.....and His work is perfection...each and every tree and bush in that park is different, all shapes and sizes, each imperfect, and each belonging.....connected....separate, but not alone. Never alone.
Whew, wheee.....long ramble....but I know when I felt that joy I wanted to share it with someone....I no longer feel I have to share it to make it real....but I am so grateful for these things, this experience....yes, we are united by many things and different in many ways....and in my bones, my heart, my soul I believe that connection is a love so deep and powerful that it does move mountains and....my God, as I write this words come to mind that were in a sermon I stumbled into at my darkest moment many months ago, when I heard a voice telling me to go to church ("Martin, I couldn't tell you any more clearly" lol) ....the words were:
"A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh."
The love I feel connecting me to this world has turned my heart of stone into a heart of flesh, a heart full of love.
All I did was surrender.
I know I've taken this thread all over the place now, but that's my esh from today. Kat, I think all human beings are unique, I think that's part of the gift, but I don't think that means we aren't also the same in lots of ways and I certainly don't think any of THIS is unique to me. Part of the joy and gratitude is that I'm absolutely humbled by these feelings. I think this is here for all of us. I believe that in my bones and it's why I share it. Last week I phoned the Samaritans three times, this week I'm walking on air (and yes, I have spoken to my doctor...lol).....I'm learning to swim in these emotions...and to cope with the challenging aspects....the wonder is that I used to think they'd kill me, now I know - as Skg said in his post (I paraphrase) - that feeling them is part of life and being willing to walk - to follow my HP's lead - through the rain opens the door to everything else for me. I claim no expertise in this....this emotional stuff is rocket science beyond my understanding. I can intellectualise about psychology I've read but the spiritual stuff is....well.....I'm a child.
Martin
Whew, wheee.....long ramble....but I know when I felt that joy I wanted to share it with someone....I no longer feel I have to share it to make it real....but I am so grateful for these things, this experience....yes, we are united by many things and different in many ways....and in my bones, my heart, my soul I believe that connection is a love so deep and powerful that it does move mountains and....my God, as I write this words come to mind that were in a sermon I stumbled into at my darkest moment many months ago, when I heard a voice telling me to go to church ("Martin, I couldn't tell you any more clearly" lol) ....the words were:
"A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh."
The love I feel connecting me to this world has turned my heart of stone into a heart of flesh, a heart full of love.
All I did was surrender.
I know I've taken this thread all over the place now, but that's my esh from today. Kat, I think all human beings are unique, I think that's part of the gift, but I don't think that means we aren't also the same in lots of ways and I certainly don't think any of THIS is unique to me. Part of the joy and gratitude is that I'm absolutely humbled by these feelings. I think this is here for all of us. I believe that in my bones and it's why I share it. Last week I phoned the Samaritans three times, this week I'm walking on air (and yes, I have spoken to my doctor...lol).....I'm learning to swim in these emotions...and to cope with the challenging aspects....the wonder is that I used to think they'd kill me, now I know - as Skg said in his post (I paraphrase) - that feeling them is part of life and being willing to walk - to follow my HP's lead - through the rain opens the door to everything else for me. I claim no expertise in this....this emotional stuff is rocket science beyond my understanding. I can intellectualise about psychology I've read but the spiritual stuff is....well.....I'm a child.
Martin
Martin
I was just telling someone that when I was doing my steps with my sponsor I really thought I was this terrible, unloveable person. I thought that I had done such horrible things and had such sick thoughts that I was never going to be loved or be normal. One of the gifts my sponsor gave me was my un-uniqueness (my new word for the day) I was sooo happy to find out she and other alkies had done the same things I was so ashamed of and had the same or similar thoughts and I wasn't the psycho I thought I was. I was getting disability for depression and anxiety when I got sober and thought I'd be depressed forever. Over here you have to jump thru a lot of hoops and see a lot of shrinks to get disability from the government. Not me. I got it on the first try. I have scars up and down my arms from multiple suicide attempts when I was drinking and drugging. I have had countless pill and alcohol overdoses. I was a very sick person. I've been thru years of therapy and counseling. It did nothing for me. All they did was medicate me which was partially my fault because I was a drug seeker. Getting into AA saved my life literally. I found out that when I am drug and alcohol free I'm a likeable person. I'm not depressed or overly anxious any more. I have anxiety like anyone else but since I stopped medicating it is tolerable. Same with the depression. It's gone. No, it didn't happen the day I got sober. It took a few years of work but I am certainly not the timid, shy woman I was 8 years ago when I first walked into a meeting. A lot of that has to do with my discovery of my un-uniqueness. I AM just like everyone else. I do belong. I am accepted for who I am and not who I think people want me to be. I used to think that people would love me more if I was sick. How sick is that? I thought depression was something that would make someone want to take care of me. So I acted depressed and dramatic. LOL I'm getting off on a tangent here which has nothing to do with anything so I'll stop.
I was just telling someone that when I was doing my steps with my sponsor I really thought I was this terrible, unloveable person. I thought that I had done such horrible things and had such sick thoughts that I was never going to be loved or be normal. One of the gifts my sponsor gave me was my un-uniqueness (my new word for the day) I was sooo happy to find out she and other alkies had done the same things I was so ashamed of and had the same or similar thoughts and I wasn't the psycho I thought I was. I was getting disability for depression and anxiety when I got sober and thought I'd be depressed forever. Over here you have to jump thru a lot of hoops and see a lot of shrinks to get disability from the government. Not me. I got it on the first try. I have scars up and down my arms from multiple suicide attempts when I was drinking and drugging. I have had countless pill and alcohol overdoses. I was a very sick person. I've been thru years of therapy and counseling. It did nothing for me. All they did was medicate me which was partially my fault because I was a drug seeker. Getting into AA saved my life literally. I found out that when I am drug and alcohol free I'm a likeable person. I'm not depressed or overly anxious any more. I have anxiety like anyone else but since I stopped medicating it is tolerable. Same with the depression. It's gone. No, it didn't happen the day I got sober. It took a few years of work but I am certainly not the timid, shy woman I was 8 years ago when I first walked into a meeting. A lot of that has to do with my discovery of my un-uniqueness. I AM just like everyone else. I do belong. I am accepted for who I am and not who I think people want me to be. I used to think that people would love me more if I was sick. How sick is that? I thought depression was something that would make someone want to take care of me. So I acted depressed and dramatic. LOL I'm getting off on a tangent here which has nothing to do with anything so I'll stop.
| QUOTE |
| I'm a likeable person. |
~raising hand~
No, we are not calling on you today.
It's toll free...
Thank you for sharing, Kat, your story is inspiring. I'm so lucky to have found this place.
Martin
Martin
