Hello all,i got a V.O(visiting order)2wks.ago to see an old mate whos doin 6yrs.for possesion with intent(5000,E,Tabs)to be precise.After getting put away 4yrs.ago..he started dabbling with smack for the 1st.time..the prison he,s in is flooded with it..so if you have the money you can maintain a habit,on the other hand you can get shanked for owing as little as 10euro.Anyway my visit was very depressing..firstly i got butterflys even going in as i have done some time in the early 90s&hearing the locks being shut behind me brought all the memories of my own time back.When i saw my pal i got a shock..gaunt,jaundice yellow skin,pinned eyes..basically death warmed up...still using then i asked him ..yep in a monotone,after a brief pause he says Davey..ive got Hep.c..which i had guessed..but then he tells me he is H.I.V..positive,ahh f*** mate..what can you say?..he was holding back the tears as was i coz showing to much emotion in prison just isnt done.We talked about the possibilites for the future..he has a wife&2 kids..but you cant get to much out in a hour visit..he is off the smack now&on methedone.Ive gotta cut this short as im heading to Santa with my daughter..so sorry if its a bit jumbled..but basically it brought home to me how very lucky i am to have my health&freedom..after taking far more risks whilst i was an i.v user than my mate who got his infection whilst inside&probobly would never have tried smack if it wasnt so available.Am going back to see him in the new yr...but it really was a case of thinking about those really less fortunate than myself at this time of yr.Take care all ....Davey
Sorry to hear about your friend and visit Davey. That is so sad. I'll say aprayer for him. It's hard to feel anything but awful when seeing something like that, but gratitude has to be part of it. There, but for God's grace...
I saw 2 of my best friends growing up many years ago. They said they didn't have the virus', but were strung out with nothing. Nearly 40 and both living with their moms. My best girlfriend had taken every penny her mom had, a good deal of life insurance from her dad's death. Also had her take out a new mortgage which went to dope. Did it in front of her 5 year old I was told by the other. I've never looked them up again. I feel for them, but it isn't safe for me.
Again, I'm very sorry about your friend. It would be easy to fall into it in prison I think. It would seem to fill a void at first. Then of course it creates one which can't be filled. Poor fellow. You're a good friend to him Davey.
All the best, Beck
I saw 2 of my best friends growing up many years ago. They said they didn't have the virus', but were strung out with nothing. Nearly 40 and both living with their moms. My best girlfriend had taken every penny her mom had, a good deal of life insurance from her dad's death. Also had her take out a new mortgage which went to dope. Did it in front of her 5 year old I was told by the other. I've never looked them up again. I feel for them, but it isn't safe for me.
Again, I'm very sorry about your friend. It would be easy to fall into it in prison I think. It would seem to fill a void at first. Then of course it creates one which can't be filled. Poor fellow. You're a good friend to him Davey.
All the best, Beck
Its nice that you make a visit -especially now ,holiday time. Its depressing e-nuff on the inside,but w/o visits its even worse.
I know I appreciated any real contact from friends - you,ll make him feel a little more human(as they try to de-humanize you as soon as they get a chance)
Call it your good deed for the holidays.
peace,
jack
I know I appreciated any real contact from friends - you,ll make him feel a little more human(as they try to de-humanize you as soon as they get a chance)
Call it your good deed for the holidays.
peace,
jack
Davey friend,
Long time no speak! You will be greatly rewarded for your thoughtful deed. I can imagine the pain and sadness the must have overcome you seeing your mate that way and hearing is his news...I also can imagine how lucky and blessed you feel for the life you have today. Take care buddy!
Darin
Long time no speak! You will be greatly rewarded for your thoughtful deed. I can imagine the pain and sadness the must have overcome you seeing your mate that way and hearing is his news...I also can imagine how lucky and blessed you feel for the life you have today. Take care buddy!
Darin
Hey Davey, I am so sorry to hear about your friend.
I think that you are a great person for taking the time to visit him.
he can get help and support from services available to people living with HIV.
I don't know whay they have over there, but here in Canada he would be able to get a support worker who will visit him arrange for him to have any meds he may need and if he needs a special diet, they can help with that.
I have found that sometimes the court can be kind to people with HIV and shorten their sentence, so he may want to talk to his lawyer aswell.
I hope you do keep in touch with him, I also hope he does not trigger anything in you. But if he does, you have us to talk to.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help, I volunteer with people living with HIV.
Take care, hope you had fun with Santa!.
Karen
I think that you are a great person for taking the time to visit him.
he can get help and support from services available to people living with HIV.
I don't know whay they have over there, but here in Canada he would be able to get a support worker who will visit him arrange for him to have any meds he may need and if he needs a special diet, they can help with that.
I have found that sometimes the court can be kind to people with HIV and shorten their sentence, so he may want to talk to his lawyer aswell.
I hope you do keep in touch with him, I also hope he does not trigger anything in you. But if he does, you have us to talk to.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help, I volunteer with people living with HIV.
Take care, hope you had fun with Santa!.
Karen
I think it is amazing that you put aside your own fear to visit your friend.
I am grateful that you are there for him. In the meantime of visiting him, can you send him cards?
I am sorry he is so sick, and I feel for his wife and children. There just isn't an end to the pain and misery that dope can bring. All this suffering, for nothing really. I am glad my escape route has been changed from my head to my heart.
Different things get me high now.
Again, thank you for being a compassionate person. It's huge.
Not feeling clever
(from the painpill site)
I am grateful that you are there for him. In the meantime of visiting him, can you send him cards?
I am sorry he is so sick, and I feel for his wife and children. There just isn't an end to the pain and misery that dope can bring. All this suffering, for nothing really. I am glad my escape route has been changed from my head to my heart.
Different things get me high now.
Again, thank you for being a compassionate person. It's huge.
Not feeling clever
(from the painpill site)
Hello all..back from Santa&the cinema(the Santa Clause 3)good time had by all.back to Paul my pal whom i mentioned the obvious really struck me as we spoke coz he said he started smoking smack about 6mnth. into his sentence,then i dunno if he was pressured or not he would get visits from complete strangers usually young woman(organised by other prisoners)and over a brief chat&a nice long french kiss the gear would be passed..usually half ounce,which would then be bagged&ready..Paul got his cut..on his landing the situation with available works varied i.e 18 guys sharing one needle for 3mnth...2 spikes between 10guys for a mnth.3 needles for five i.v users for a yr. and so on.I asked him how many times did he share?about a dozen times was his response,he then explained he had got a clean spike&made a makeshift works with a biro...the only drawback being....that there is no drawback..you gotta hit that vein straight off..maybe a sort of DIY deathwish.After he found out he was HIV.+..he bordered on suicidal..but luckily got onto one of 12 places..on a course that removed him from the general prison pop...he had to give regular urines over a intensive 12wk. period..methadone was optional..he went for that&has been clean ever since...about 8mnth. ago.He didnt just have to fight his addiction&realisation of having AIDS..but also the other prisoners who were organising his twice monthly drug mule visits.Pauls now in a different wing of the prison..were he has started on medication for his immune system..but the Hep.C he reckons may kill him before AIDS/HIV gets to an advanced stage...who knows.Guys thanks for your words of support,maybe you could call it a good deed..but i think all of you may have been a similar listening ear...thats what he wanted..just someone to understand&listen...coz he told me that he hasnt told his wife yet&does not know how to.
Brit..firstly thanks&yep because of his condition..and being a non violent offender..he will prob. be getting temporary release..in May..then if all goes well out for good come Sept.As i said earlier im just thankful for what ive got..coz without any drama it could so easily have been me sitting in that grey,taut,emotional....visiting room..waiting for a mate to unburden myself on.Sorry for rambling..but to be honest the whole experiance..left me somewhat upset&angry...memories of my youth when we all thought we would live forever..became unhinged..and for me the strong feeling of loss&resentment connected with my brothers death in 98 from a drug overdose,is ever present.Im so lucky to have my freinds here to let off some steam...thanks........Davey
Brit..firstly thanks&yep because of his condition..and being a non violent offender..he will prob. be getting temporary release..in May..then if all goes well out for good come Sept.As i said earlier im just thankful for what ive got..coz without any drama it could so easily have been me sitting in that grey,taut,emotional....visiting room..waiting for a mate to unburden myself on.Sorry for rambling..but to be honest the whole experiance..left me somewhat upset&angry...memories of my youth when we all thought we would live forever..became unhinged..and for me the strong feeling of loss&resentment connected with my brothers death in 98 from a drug overdose,is ever present.Im so lucky to have my freinds here to let off some steam...thanks........Davey
Sorry if i confused anyone..i said Paul had been clean for bout 8mnth.which i belive to be more or less true...but on the day of my visit he had taken some smack...dutch chorage ...maybe...take care all ....Davey
