As some of you guys may or may not know- - I dont drink booze or beer/wine for 2 main reasons.
It doesnt agree with me anymore -ok-maybe 1 beer is ok- but for the most part ,it makes me feel really sick. This is from someone who used to drink alcoholically for years. I just stopped one day and that was pretty much it. Why it didnt work that way with dope- I dont know?
The other reason is- after a few drinks I start to think about my DOC. That isnt good because I usually give in to the cravings when my guard is down and compromised.
Last night I went to a NFL football game and saw some old friends that I used to live with in Southern Ca. I havent seen these guys in a few years and as the tailgate party got going,my old bad habits came out. The shots of zambooka and bottles of Hieniken were going down freely.
Now ,I didnt do anything stupid like try to cop dope at 12 midnight when the game was over and I had left my friends- but believe it or not,I thought about it.
Luckely I wasnt driving so I couldnt ,even if I really wanted to.
The other thing is now I feel like sh** at 6 in the morning- I cant believe I used to do this all the time.
Well another reminder why I dont anymore! I just dont bounce back from a night like that like I used to. I had a great time- but at what expense?
Now Im going to e-mail my boss with some BS about not feeling good ,and Ill be in a little late.
Man it just aint worth it
"hiccup"
jack
Thanks for that JofH,
I too had a drink a few weeks ago, and learnt all over again why I should not drink again! Your post reminds me of this again!
Its amasing what we do to our bodies when drinking alcoholically becomes the norm.
Sorry your feeling hung over, but its just a physical reminder to remember next up.
Thanks for sharing, and good luck with what will probably be a sluggish day at work!
Calabash
I too had a drink a few weeks ago, and learnt all over again why I should not drink again! Your post reminds me of this again!
Its amasing what we do to our bodies when drinking alcoholically becomes the norm.
Sorry your feeling hung over, but its just a physical reminder to remember next up.
Thanks for sharing, and good luck with what will probably be a sluggish day at work!
Calabash
I hear that jack, i'm not anti the drink BUT for me it usually leads to more poor judgement. I use to drink a lot before H then when on H i could not drink without feeling sick. On methadone i got drunk once thought i'ld DIE i was so hung over. Been about 10 months that i've not had a drank i don't miss it too much. I do get the craving for a good beer now and then. Anyhow what game did you watch? I live in cincinati ohio i was all excited watching the Bengals beat on the chargers then I fell asleep at half time woke up and that game got all turned around. I thought we had em beat. It was a sad day in Cincinnati.
..Jack..
..Ya done well not leading yaself into temptation and using anything else on top of ya drink..its so easy to get sucked back in when ya not in the right frame of mind..nice one..take it easy..Robbie..
..Ya done well not leading yaself into temptation and using anything else on top of ya drink..its so easy to get sucked back in when ya not in the right frame of mind..nice one..take it easy..Robbie..
Dear Jackdaniels,
As you know i am a recovering alcoholic almost 19 years plus 7 months clean....don't know how it goes in the opiate world but i was always taught that clean means just that...clean...nada..a substance is just a substance in another form...and the drug on hand could be just another trigger for the drug of choice...
why we use or what we choose is just really an extension of the mental layering of the subconscious onion like root of the cause...
Jack.....there is a lot going on in your life right now...your gf's illness....your own personal struggling with the repetitiveness of your existence....the years that lay ahead are becoming shorter than the ones we left behind and the latter have been wasted at times by the blur of our active addictions....these are 'slippery' times for you my friend and the slumbering 'dragon' is just looking for an excuse or a trigger to spring into action.again.
sure you can persuade yourself that your recent 'bending of the elbow' was no big deal...a simple respite from the blah blah blah....a touch down for the good old boys of yore....but i think that old slumbering 'dragon' popped an eye open for a second because something disturbed its sleep and now will find it hard to go back under so readily and deeply.
hey but you mentioned once that work was starting
to be a drag......easier to miss a day because you have
a 'substance' hangover...so you don't have to deal..
stay frosty and on the inner alert my friend
luv ya MARY
As you know i am a recovering alcoholic almost 19 years plus 7 months clean....don't know how it goes in the opiate world but i was always taught that clean means just that...clean...nada..a substance is just a substance in another form...and the drug on hand could be just another trigger for the drug of choice...
why we use or what we choose is just really an extension of the mental layering of the subconscious onion like root of the cause...
Jack.....there is a lot going on in your life right now...your gf's illness....your own personal struggling with the repetitiveness of your existence....the years that lay ahead are becoming shorter than the ones we left behind and the latter have been wasted at times by the blur of our active addictions....these are 'slippery' times for you my friend and the slumbering 'dragon' is just looking for an excuse or a trigger to spring into action.again.
sure you can persuade yourself that your recent 'bending of the elbow' was no big deal...a simple respite from the blah blah blah....a touch down for the good old boys of yore....but i think that old slumbering 'dragon' popped an eye open for a second because something disturbed its sleep and now will find it hard to go back under so readily and deeply.
hey but you mentioned once that work was starting
to be a drag......easier to miss a day because you have
a 'substance' hangover...so you don't have to deal..
stay frosty and on the inner alert my friend
luv ya MARY
mary-
when your right your right
****************************
glad we picked up on it
time to be more cognicient of the situations
jack
when your right your right
****************************
glad we picked up on it
time to be more cognicient of the situations
jack
Oh, how talented our Mary is......I mean that 100%.......she definately should have been a writer because her posts peppered with ummmm, is it euphanisms? Or whatever the heck they taught us in English classes.....she has down to a T.......that dang National Enquirer could use her just for headline wittiness........honestly, Mary is awesome, and has a gift.
O.K. enough hinney kissing for you Mary............back to Jack.
Luckily I'm another recovering addict that can have a beer at the baseball game.
I mean with the Phillies ya need one......or a glass of wine with one of our great tomatoe pies we have here.......never was a drinker.....and when I have had a Margarita or something since getting clean it didn't bother me in the least....so I am fortunate that way......PLUS I limit it as I have read too much about people get off heroin, and become alcoholics......Billie Holiday for instance.
Poor Billie didn't directly die because of dope.....she'd been clean......it was the drink killed the poor, poor lady.
Anyway, Jack it's good you see and know what's going on in your own body.
Ummmmmmmmmmm, Sambucca???????? Whewie.....no wonder ya had to call in sick.........that stuff is lethal........PLUS being the only sober person is more fun......watching everyone else make fools of themselves is a wonderful form of entertainment pre-kick off.
Tailgating......one of America's favorite passtimes.....trust you me, Jack that in Eagleville it is NUTZZZZZZZZZZZZ..........I mean folks get to the parking lot as early as 5:00AM to get a good spot.......these phans are loaded and I swear they don't even know they are at a game by the time the gates open.
Hey, like Mary said.......you have so much going on......your lady friend's health in itself could turn a lesser man back to the junk......you needed to unwind....and reconnect with old friends......so, considering all that and the tailgate party I think you did alright......PLUS once again we get a lesson on keeping it green.
O.K. so what game? Your team? All I can say is that younger Manning brother I am liking......better yet they took out Bludsoe, and put Roma in......I'm so glad they let the kid play......as far as the Boooooo Birds big whoop.....they beat a lousy team.......they'll choke as usual, and the only house in Philly cheering for the opposing team will be ours......no doubt.
You're alright, Jack.......oh, and hate to tell you........we're not 25 anymore.....them hangovers set ya back a good week at our age.......we're just light weights, and old......LOL....can't put it any simpler than that.
I know your post was serious.....I'm not trying to diminish that, but honestly our age bracket has no right to be drinking the "Bucca, and beers, and exxxxxxpecting to be able to jump right up the next morning.....and as mary said that one opened eye from the sleeping demon is enough to set ya back big time.....last thing you are neding weather thinking of using or not....ya did good though considring, and I DARE you to go to an Eagles game....DOUBLE DARE ya.......I think they hung someone by their feet last week over the top level of seats......guess we need Eagles court again.
Is my city the only place they have to have a courtroom set up in a stadium?
I mean that's how out of control those guys get. Eagles court. LOL Thank goodness I never was in there. Then again I wouldn't pay $1.00 to finance McNabb's lavish lifestyle.......puking on the field......anxiety.....tired out during the Super Bowl......come on now.....if he is truly the most accurate QB in the league I think somebody's stats are messed up.
Feel better, Jack.......no more Sambucca at no tailgate party......that way ya can enjoy the game more, and take pics of all the drunkards making azzzz's out of themselves.
O.K. enough hinney kissing for you Mary............back to Jack.
Luckily I'm another recovering addict that can have a beer at the baseball game.
I mean with the Phillies ya need one......or a glass of wine with one of our great tomatoe pies we have here.......never was a drinker.....and when I have had a Margarita or something since getting clean it didn't bother me in the least....so I am fortunate that way......PLUS I limit it as I have read too much about people get off heroin, and become alcoholics......Billie Holiday for instance.
Poor Billie didn't directly die because of dope.....she'd been clean......it was the drink killed the poor, poor lady.
Anyway, Jack it's good you see and know what's going on in your own body.
Ummmmmmmmmmm, Sambucca???????? Whewie.....no wonder ya had to call in sick.........that stuff is lethal........PLUS being the only sober person is more fun......watching everyone else make fools of themselves is a wonderful form of entertainment pre-kick off.
Tailgating......one of America's favorite passtimes.....trust you me, Jack that in Eagleville it is NUTZZZZZZZZZZZZ..........I mean folks get to the parking lot as early as 5:00AM to get a good spot.......these phans are loaded and I swear they don't even know they are at a game by the time the gates open.
Hey, like Mary said.......you have so much going on......your lady friend's health in itself could turn a lesser man back to the junk......you needed to unwind....and reconnect with old friends......so, considering all that and the tailgate party I think you did alright......PLUS once again we get a lesson on keeping it green.
O.K. so what game? Your team? All I can say is that younger Manning brother I am liking......better yet they took out Bludsoe, and put Roma in......I'm so glad they let the kid play......as far as the Boooooo Birds big whoop.....they beat a lousy team.......they'll choke as usual, and the only house in Philly cheering for the opposing team will be ours......no doubt.
You're alright, Jack.......oh, and hate to tell you........we're not 25 anymore.....them hangovers set ya back a good week at our age.......we're just light weights, and old......LOL....can't put it any simpler than that.
I know your post was serious.....I'm not trying to diminish that, but honestly our age bracket has no right to be drinking the "Bucca, and beers, and exxxxxxpecting to be able to jump right up the next morning.....and as mary said that one opened eye from the sleeping demon is enough to set ya back big time.....last thing you are neding weather thinking of using or not....ya did good though considring, and I DARE you to go to an Eagles game....DOUBLE DARE ya.......I think they hung someone by their feet last week over the top level of seats......guess we need Eagles court again.
Is my city the only place they have to have a courtroom set up in a stadium?
I mean that's how out of control those guys get. Eagles court. LOL Thank goodness I never was in there. Then again I wouldn't pay $1.00 to finance McNabb's lavish lifestyle.......puking on the field......anxiety.....tired out during the Super Bowl......come on now.....if he is truly the most accurate QB in the league I think somebody's stats are messed up.
Feel better, Jack.......no more Sambucca at no tailgate party......that way ya can enjoy the game more, and take pics of all the drunkards making azzzz's out of themselves.
Well, it is official I am a rotten mother.
My daughter left for her dad's last Saturday, and has not called once.....she did try and find my mom in hospitals......when she did she told her "Mom-mom I am sorry I didn't know you were in that ambulance with all the cop cars around when I came to get my stuff".......my mom who is really sick, and I think heartbroken......she just said "Is that what you wanted me for?" and hung up on her............uhhhh, the cop cars were here because your dad was pounding on our door with a very heavy object making dents in a steel security door.
I'm posting this because it is about heroin......there's a time I would have beat myself silly and blamed ME for ALL of this......hey, have not done a drug in two years and it'll be another six months on the 19th......NO WAY.....I was being a damn parent.......I was seting rules, and sticking to them.....that kid had it in her plans to ditch here weeks before that went down.
Heroin did NOT do any of that......and I have my mom at 69 who helped raise this kid......not to mention financially is stone broke because she gave this kid anything she wanted..........plus paid her private school tuition....dance lessons, and yadda, yadda.
What really is irking me is you would think that PEOPLE, and I mean my ex's parents with whom he still lives despite an excellent career.......CHEAP.....you would think they would say "Honey, you are obviously welcome here, but your place is at home with the people who raised you".......honestly I KNOW I would do that if I was on that end.......otherwise no phone call from her.....the only information we have is she yapps with our mutual famil friend on that myspace.
This friend has been so good to my daughter, and has helped me so much I can't put it into words.....like when days passed by and the kid waould not budge about the boyfriend breaking up with her, and I slept on the floor next to her bed so she didn't have to cry herself to sleep.....when it was DAYS of this my girlfriend wouls tell her to come to her house, and vent or rant.
Now this mutual friend told me yesterday she had called her and said "Now you HATE ME too"........that's s big one of my daughters.....everyone HATES her.
Generally our friend would have said knock it off, and I'll pick ya up in ten minutes.....girl dropped everything she was doing to comfort this kid......so her reply to the "Now YOU HATE Me too" was "No, I love you. I just won't tolerate you talking bad about your mom and grandmom, and you walking out and going to your dad's who you have never lived with, and his parents who in seventen years never walked the h*ll around the corner even to see you has got me a tad PO'd".........my one brother is is quiet, and NEVER gets bent out of shape like my dad was don't ever want to look at her again.....I undeerstand that because it was OUR MOM in that ambulance as she kept asking for her Ipod.....my other brother who for seven years has paid her cell bill, and internet service and has gone to functions that were academic with her cause I am not educated told me "She's gone. She left. She's not coming back. Worry about mommy".
It is beyond my belief that someone you have caredfor in every single way can just walk out the door, and not even call to see how her grandmom is NOW.
She can hate me all she wants, but I am a parent. Her dad is going to allow her much more freedom than I ever did, but that equates to 1.) Very dangerous neighborhoods hanging out 2.) Dropping her off at a "friends" without seeing if an adult was present 3.) telling her he does not like her smoking ciggies, but pot is O.K.
I'd like to say I am heartsick, but I am not. I just feel for my mom. It's quiet here now without any of the drama. My mom had a heart attack the day of our daughter's father banging down the door screaming he wants her stuff. My mom is now on SEVEN new medications. SEVEN. So, I am taking care of her and the less drama the better for her. I have no idea what is going on in school with her even though we paid the tuition. No idea who she is ou with or where she is going. Nobody at her dad's will even worry about it including him.
I KNOW my ex husbands parents will let her do whatever she wants as they have always said since even their own daughter had a baby "We are done raising kids. We won't babysit, and no we won't be of any help as it is not our job". So, I am sure if my ex husband is at work night shift, and my daughter wants to go out at 9:00PM in the pitch dark in a not all that good a neighborhood those people won't blink an eye".
I just wanted to share and say no way am I going to cop dope. I'm not going to do the wrong thing as I am sure my ex husband would relish that. It just boggles my mind though how you walk out and leave your grandmom sick.
Thanks forlistening.
My daughter left for her dad's last Saturday, and has not called once.....she did try and find my mom in hospitals......when she did she told her "Mom-mom I am sorry I didn't know you were in that ambulance with all the cop cars around when I came to get my stuff".......my mom who is really sick, and I think heartbroken......she just said "Is that what you wanted me for?" and hung up on her............uhhhh, the cop cars were here because your dad was pounding on our door with a very heavy object making dents in a steel security door.
I'm posting this because it is about heroin......there's a time I would have beat myself silly and blamed ME for ALL of this......hey, have not done a drug in two years and it'll be another six months on the 19th......NO WAY.....I was being a damn parent.......I was seting rules, and sticking to them.....that kid had it in her plans to ditch here weeks before that went down.
Heroin did NOT do any of that......and I have my mom at 69 who helped raise this kid......not to mention financially is stone broke because she gave this kid anything she wanted..........plus paid her private school tuition....dance lessons, and yadda, yadda.
What really is irking me is you would think that PEOPLE, and I mean my ex's parents with whom he still lives despite an excellent career.......CHEAP.....you would think they would say "Honey, you are obviously welcome here, but your place is at home with the people who raised you".......honestly I KNOW I would do that if I was on that end.......otherwise no phone call from her.....the only information we have is she yapps with our mutual famil friend on that myspace.
This friend has been so good to my daughter, and has helped me so much I can't put it into words.....like when days passed by and the kid waould not budge about the boyfriend breaking up with her, and I slept on the floor next to her bed so she didn't have to cry herself to sleep.....when it was DAYS of this my girlfriend wouls tell her to come to her house, and vent or rant.
Now this mutual friend told me yesterday she had called her and said "Now you HATE ME too"........that's s big one of my daughters.....everyone HATES her.
Generally our friend would have said knock it off, and I'll pick ya up in ten minutes.....girl dropped everything she was doing to comfort this kid......so her reply to the "Now YOU HATE Me too" was "No, I love you. I just won't tolerate you talking bad about your mom and grandmom, and you walking out and going to your dad's who you have never lived with, and his parents who in seventen years never walked the h*ll around the corner even to see you has got me a tad PO'd".........my one brother is is quiet, and NEVER gets bent out of shape like my dad was don't ever want to look at her again.....I undeerstand that because it was OUR MOM in that ambulance as she kept asking for her Ipod.....my other brother who for seven years has paid her cell bill, and internet service and has gone to functions that were academic with her cause I am not educated told me "She's gone. She left. She's not coming back. Worry about mommy".
It is beyond my belief that someone you have caredfor in every single way can just walk out the door, and not even call to see how her grandmom is NOW.
She can hate me all she wants, but I am a parent. Her dad is going to allow her much more freedom than I ever did, but that equates to 1.) Very dangerous neighborhoods hanging out 2.) Dropping her off at a "friends" without seeing if an adult was present 3.) telling her he does not like her smoking ciggies, but pot is O.K.
I'd like to say I am heartsick, but I am not. I just feel for my mom. It's quiet here now without any of the drama. My mom had a heart attack the day of our daughter's father banging down the door screaming he wants her stuff. My mom is now on SEVEN new medications. SEVEN. So, I am taking care of her and the less drama the better for her. I have no idea what is going on in school with her even though we paid the tuition. No idea who she is ou with or where she is going. Nobody at her dad's will even worry about it including him.
I KNOW my ex husbands parents will let her do whatever she wants as they have always said since even their own daughter had a baby "We are done raising kids. We won't babysit, and no we won't be of any help as it is not our job". So, I am sure if my ex husband is at work night shift, and my daughter wants to go out at 9:00PM in the pitch dark in a not all that good a neighborhood those people won't blink an eye".
I just wanted to share and say no way am I going to cop dope. I'm not going to do the wrong thing as I am sure my ex husband would relish that. It just boggles my mind though how you walk out and leave your grandmom sick.
Thanks forlistening.
Jack,
McNabb got hurt.
Can you imagine?
They got garcia in.
Hope you ain't tailgating. I sure ain't.
I'm too busy trying to get rid of the dreadlocks I grew without trying to. Pretty hard to do too considering I'ma a pastey white chick.
Seriously I just haven't combed my hair in a week. I'll either be Pam Africa or have a buzz cut like GI Jane.
Titan's are kicking butt. They'll blame garcia just watch.
McNabb got hurt.
Can you imagine?
They got garcia in.
Hope you ain't tailgating. I sure ain't.
I'm too busy trying to get rid of the dreadlocks I grew without trying to. Pretty hard to do too considering I'ma a pastey white chick.
Seriously I just haven't combed my hair in a week. I'll either be Pam Africa or have a buzz cut like GI Jane.
Titan's are kicking butt. They'll blame garcia just watch.
Hey B
no taligating this week- Giants play tomorrow night.
No taking it easy. My Mom(lives downstairs) has about 100 friggin grandkids over- - If she wasnt my landlord- Ill call and complain about the noise!!
seeyalater
love
jack
no taligating this week- Giants play tomorrow night.
No taking it easy. My Mom(lives downstairs) has about 100 friggin grandkids over- - If she wasnt my landlord- Ill call and complain about the noise!!
seeyalater
love
jack
