Aa Daily Reflection-feb 13

This daily reflection really struck a chord with me....

WE CAN'T THINK OUR WAY SOBER.

To the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman, many A.A's can say, "Yes, we were like you--far too smart for our own good....Secretly, we felt we could float above the rest of the folks on our brain power alone."

AS BILL SEES IT p. 66

Even the most brilliant mind is no defense against the disease of alcoholism. I can't think my was sober I try to remember that intelligence is a God-given attribute that I may use, a joy--like having a talent for dancing or drawing or carpentry. It does not make me better than anyone else, and it is not a particularly reliable tool for recovery, for it is a power greater than myself who will restore me to sanity--not a high IQ or a college degree.

This stopped me in my tracks today. Read for the third time today. Very, very important for me. My higher power? All I know for sure that it is NOT me.
Yes, Elim...I read it twice myself and will do so again tonight at the Tuesday Daily Reflections meeting....

I have heard it said that intelligence sometimes hinders people from getting into recovery as the rationalization process can be long and drawn out....or, simply put, we're too damn smart for our own good....

Thanks for the post....and not only can I not think myself sober, I can't make anyone else sober either and sometimes, this alone can be a daily lesson of powerlessness for me.....

xoxo
Stacey
24Gordon

Hah!!! I knew, just knew, you were on the top of my list or usual suspects who might like this post...why am I not shocked......
Elim...
One of my sponsors says (and thank you for sharing about all your sponsors, as I now have 3 and boy, it works great in my recovery) but she says, like people tend to gravitate towards others like them........

You and I might have come from different planets but we have found each other on this recovery journey and I am so glad you're along for the ride with me....

Have a blessed day...
xoxo
Stacey

ps..I start everyday out reading my Daily Reflections...it's just as much of a habit now as my coffee....
3? Hmmmmm
12 stepper

Yup, I have 3 sponsors too. I am "high maintenance". No really it has to do with the fact that each has limits on their time. Sponsor #1 is in bed by 8 PM; sponsor #2 can meet only every other week and I see only once a week at meetings and is busy during the day and doesn't come to my Early Riser group. Sponsor #3 is not available (usually) on weekends. Therefore, I have 3, and they cover different time spots and "specialize" in different things. Sponsors #2 and #3 have dealt with severe anxiety and depression like I have, they give great tips in dealing with that. Sponsor #1 is very good at "moral support" and very practical day to day advice (they are like a parent to me). This way the "burden" is spread out. All of them advise all of their sponsees to have more than one sponsor. I love it, no possessiveness or ego here.

And their advice does not conflict, it is surprisingly similar, just differences in the emphasis.
OK but who is taking you thru the steps? Oh, wait, you have a couple years already and have worked the steps already, right?

Edit: I was taught different. I was taught you only get one sponsor. I was taught sometimes in life I will have to wait to get what I want and if my sponsor doesn't have time for me RIGHT NOW then I should have a support group to call and talk to until she does have time. I was a classic manipulator. I would have played one sponsor against the other until I heard or got what I wanted. Sponsors are hard to find down here, well, good sponsors anyway. There are thousands of women in AA but not that many that are what I want to become. Even with the time I have I am afraid to ask this one woman to sponsor me. I feel I have gotten all I can get from my sponsor and it's time to move on in order to grow. I want a sponsor with more spirituality so I can learn more on that but I hate the thought of starting all over with a new one. So I am letting God handle it because I just don't know what to do. I hardly ever see my sponsor any more since she changed home groups. I think I need to see her more than once a month. So I am waiting to see what happens. And practicing patience.
QUOTE
And their advice does not conflict, it is surprisingly similar, just differences in the emphasis.


That's how it works for me too, Elim...same message, different way of delivering it but when I take it in, yup, it's the same message....

Ahhh, Miss Katbird, nice to see you this afternoon.....For me, I have found that #1 sponsor is such a blessing and she is the one taking me through the steps and whom I talk to everyday....#2 sponsor is her bestfriend and is such a beautiful woman who touched something deep inside of me and is helping me with others issues in my life, such as my son and she's been to Alanon and going to accompany me there.....When #1 is unavailable, ie. work or out & about (she doesn't have a cell at this time) then I am to call #2, and we all share together....funny, sometimes when I can't get a hold of #1, I can when I call #2....

And #3 is you....they know all about you and when I am at work and can't get a hold of #1 or #2, I talk to you until I can....you help save my sanity more than you know sometimes.....

So, yep, I have 3 sponsors and I love each one of them for everything they do for me and maybe when I grow up some, I'll only have 1 but today, why mess with God's work cause it's working.....

xoxoxo
Sponsors #2 and #3 do the formal step work. Sponsor #2 has a Monday night Step Study/Big Book group that meets every other week. Sponsor #3 and I also meet every other week to work on a Step (different from the study group)

Sponsor #1 helps if I have specific question regarding a Step, or how to apply the Steps to a particular problem (I see #1 at least 4 times a week)

Yup, I have gone through the Steps, this April I will do a thorough revisit of Step 4 (my "spring cleaning plan"). Right now, I am working with Sponsor #2, Steps 11 and 12 (the ones that trip me up at present). Our Early Risers Step Tuesday topic is Step 2. Nope, I am not "stepped out" either.... :)
Read my edit to my last post please.
12 stepper

QUOTE

I was a classic manipulator. I would have played one sponsor against the other until I heard or got what I wanted.


This is an interesting point you have given. I could see this happening. However, in poor ElimGarak's case, I told all of them point blank I was liarus extremis and to take due care. They also know each other very well and Sponsors #1 and #3 see each other at Early Risers. They are not trying to, but in an example of the Higher Power having alot more "power" than I, my sponsors present with a "united front". I am not going to get the answer I want, I don't even bother. As I said same answers with different emphasis. I have also told all of them they are free to discuss with each other what I told any of them. I said its a way of keeping lies at bay. I do know that Sponsor #1 and #3 did talk with each other during my "mini-depression". I love it, not the attention, but the fact I have no fear about any lies coming out as there are none. Its almost euphoric....(whatever floats one's boat)

I am sorry to hear that you are having sponsor trouble. All of mine are gold mines of help. Sponsor #2 is real helpful for formal 11th step work and #1 is fantastic for that little day to day gratitude work. Due to distance and other things...I am not able to "loan" them to you, but I wish I could, they are so, so much help. Oh, between the 3 of them? Almost 80 years of sobriety.....
You know, my last sponsor taught me patience actually taught me a lot but she didn't believe in working the steps right away and then she firmly believes in sitting on Step 1 for at least a year, if not 2 years...we rarely talked and we never saw each other except at a meeting, and then she got there at the last minute and left right after...We just didn't click at the right time...I prayed and prayed on if she was the right sponsor for me....in the meanwhile (I thank God, daily) Sponsor #2 was in my life and would call and somehow could pull things out of me and made me really start looking at myself and situations, she also helped me in the decision of changing sponsors, made me pray about it, write about it, pray more and sit on it until I was sure it wasn't about me, rather two people not clicking...all the while (about 2 months) she was working with me on Step #1, over and over and she also, secty's a Wednesday night Women's meeting and 1st Wednesday of the month is Step study....She helped me so much, still does, and I didn't ask her to be my sponsor because I knew she already has 4 sponsee's and didn't want to take from their time but I am SO grateful that she "unofficially" took me through Step 1....and "unofficially" is my now #2 sponsor....

You know, when I was trying to make the decision a while back on if I should change sponsors, one of the things that #2 told me was after I prayed & prayed, did all I could do, when I knew what the answer was, I needed to do the action and not just not do it because I was afraid to hurt somebody's feelings (see, I am such a people pleaser) as that was dishonesty to myself....God put her in my life for a purpose and I am so grateful that I finally allowed myself to trust another women completely and she was there to hold her hand out and get me deep into the Program...I don't like sitting on the outer edges, and that's where I was starting to sit....she saw it and pulled me in...

When I asked about having more than 1 sponsor, I was surprised at how many in the different groups I attend, actually have more than 1....Not uncommon I guess in California.....

Kathi,
God will answer yours prayers just stay open & willing to hear the answers...and I understand about the spirituality part of it and that's part of what drew me to my now #1 & #2 sponsors....

Elim...
Ditto on what you just shared...I to have no qualms whatsoever about #1 & #2 discussing things that are in my best interest and they do but only to help me..I no longer have a desire to try and manipulate situations but if I do, I am glad they do talk...
xoxoxo