Hi All,
In a previous topic, I said there should be more solution topics, well, I am putting my money where my mouth is...here we go, on a topic that, at present, is near and dear to me.
Now, let me make myself perfectly clear here. THIS TOPIC IS OPEN TO ANYONE, NOT JUST THOSE WHO USE THE 12-STEP PROGRAMS.
So that we are all on the same page here are Steps 6 and 7 from the AA Big Book (without their permission).
6-Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects in character.
7-Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
For those who are uncomfortable, forget the God part if that helps. What these boil down to is how to remove those traits/behaviors that help get us in our predicaments in the first place. I have heard it at a meeting put as.."I don't believe in character "defects", but rather behaviors that no longer serve me"
Now remember, this work can come in many forms. Example, people might use therapy..or anger management or meditation to help deal with dysfunctional behaviors, that is a form of Steps 6 an 7, willing to remove shortcomings, however it is done. The paths aren't really that different, just the names.....
So, in a nutshell, how do you deal with a " defective character trait" or "behavior that no longer suits you"? What mechanisms do you use?
I pray alot and i meditate when i can.... it seems to help. I think it's getting better day by day. Good topic. :)
Great topic. I haven't worked steps 6 & 7 yet, and essential to the success of my recovery is that I don't dwell too much on the steps I haven't worked yet (that's just for me and the way my brain works). But I do know that acknowledgement and reinforcement of the change (or the results of the change) is key for me...
wow this is some heavy stuff hehe, well i dont personally, "formally" do the steps, but as far as concerning these matters i would have to say i pray about it and give it up to god. i do this daily for myself and my children. constantly working on learning what i can toss aside and leave behind but its a forever growing and evolving ongoing thing so everyday its something new i am still growing and hopefully always will.
terrianne
terrianne
I don't have any character defects.
I am wonderwoman.
Seriously, though, I am going to my first group meeting with other addicts tonight. I'm sure I'll discover plenty of defects after that and then I'll get back to you. Thanks for the food for thought.
I am wonderwoman.
Seriously, though, I am going to my first group meeting with other addicts tonight. I'm sure I'll discover plenty of defects after that and then I'll get back to you. Thanks for the food for thought.
ha ha... lmao Wonder Woman.... that was funny! I am glad your going to a group meeting.... i really like the fellowship that i get from the ones i go to. :)
I try to spend time every day examining my actions and motives. Especially if there were any problems I encountered. The 1st question I ask myself is what did I have to do with it, how could I have handled it better and how will I avoid it in the furture. What caused the emotions...ego, denial, deception, or just don't like someone or something. But most of all I have to accept (and I really try to do this) that I can only try to control my own behaviour in this world. And know that I want to look in the mirror and know I lived a day in fairness and honesty to the best of my ability. Beck
Character defect: Not being able to shut up,sometimes. My "buts" get in the way.
I felt some anger,annoyance and snarkiness(is that a word?) at the dude who smelled like pot at the meeting tonight.
I suppose I could have got on my high horse and said, "Hey, it smells like weed in here." Aren't we all supposed to be sober at these meetings?" and throw daggers at him with my eyes.
Instead I breathed deeply and thought "Who am I to judge?"
But,but,but,but..... it is a requirement to attend sober. Geez, this is hard work.
I felt some anger,annoyance and snarkiness(is that a word?) at the dude who smelled like pot at the meeting tonight.
I suppose I could have got on my high horse and said, "Hey, it smells like weed in here." Aren't we all supposed to be sober at these meetings?" and throw daggers at him with my eyes.
Instead I breathed deeply and thought "Who am I to judge?"
But,but,but,but..... it is a requirement to attend sober. Geez, this is hard work.
The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking (using).
Rachel
Yeah, but.....:-)
These particular meetings (there's only five) we are asked to attend sober.
Perhaps, with AA/NA it's different?
Perhaps, with AA/NA it's different?
The Big Book Of Alcoholics Anonymous says that the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. They do ask that if you have drank or used in the last 24 hours not to share...
Rachel
in the meetings at my home group, the group conscience only asks that if you have used, to listen and share with someone after the meeting. but i must say that is is very disconcerting to be sitting next to some one who either a) reeks or b) geeks. lol. this was rather freaky: i was in my meeting at this specific location, (which incidently was held at the hospital i stole the scrip pad and dea #s from, and had worked, so needless to say i was really concerned about my so called anonymity) but this chick said that she was an addict but she liked herself using, in fact she had used very recently. and i had to read next. and i was disturbed. she handed the book to me and i didnt know what to say so i said,"im mandy and im an addict" and read my a** off, lol.btw this is my first time to share on this board bc i have been isolating and avoiding. or so they say. keep coming back lol.
Hi Mandy:
Welcome :-)
Rachel
thanks rachel, that was nice
