Do you think it's ok to go to AA if you're an addict?
With all of the stuff I have been through with my brother, I am much more comfortable with AA than I am with NA at this point. I think it might be a good motivator, but is that ok?
Dear Soul,
More than OK....go for it...
Jan
More than OK....go for it...
Jan
I cant imagine it would make a difference..they follow the same steps dont they? Ive heard people say they are more comfortable with one rather than the other..
So my opinion would be to go where you feel best..your more likely to keep going...
Support is everything..face to face support???...Priceless.
Hugs
Ali
So my opinion would be to go where you feel best..your more likely to keep going...
Support is everything..face to face support???...Priceless.
Hugs
Ali
I'm not an alcoholic but I go to AA. The principles are the same. A drug is a drug is a drug and alcohol is a drug. There are some that believe addicts should stay with NA, but they are in the minority, so don't pay attention. Take what you need and leave the rest.
Thank you thank you guys.
And cowgirl. I love your "let's not get stuck on stupid" quote. It's PRICELESS :)
And cowgirl. I love your "let's not get stuck on stupid" quote. It's PRICELESS :)
<grin>
I suggest AA over NA meetings as there is more sobriety in AA. But I would try all types of meetings at least once or twice. The best meetings I ever went to were GA meetings.
Also i have found in 3 state anyway that NA has some weird meetings. Like sitting in the dark? Lot of younger people Not for me. May be for you.
Jeff
Also i have found in 3 state anyway that NA has some weird meetings. Like sitting in the dark? Lot of younger people Not for me. May be for you.
Jeff
I related to NA better. Too many speakers in AA meetings, gets boring.
Sharon
Sharon
That's why I don't go to too many speaker meetings...I like open meetings where anyone and everyone shares.
I definetly relate to NA'ers better but there are more AA meetings around here and only AA women's meetings.
<hugging Sharon>
I definetly relate to NA'ers better but there are more AA meetings around here and only AA women's meetings.
<hugging Sharon>
You better hug me, after saying I'm in the minority and not to listen to me, you turd.
Love you and your AA ways,
Sharon
Love you and your AA ways,
Sharon
I have never been to an NA meeting however they follow the identical steps an principles...I think it is more about the connection to the people...some meetings that I go to are better than others...why? Because of the people and the topics and my mood and attitude...lol...
Go to both...find what fits best for you and keep coming back!!!
I am the last person that thought I would be in a 12 step program!!! I really love it and get so much out of it. Go in with an open mind and an open heart and surrender!!
I was also a bit worried that it would be a bunch of old dried out drunks with nothing but problems...that is the last thing I thought I needed to be around...boy was I wrong! I made some very powerful connections there and a very good friend! With a horse....she is also a horse person....boy the stories we can tell...lol..
Boy what a concept..lord knows it took me long enough to figure that out!!! .lol...hugs to you
congrats to you...you are working hard at getting clean..I am so happy for you...things will be ok..if you just stop putting those pills in your mouth!!!
Go to both...find what fits best for you and keep coming back!!!
I am the last person that thought I would be in a 12 step program!!! I really love it and get so much out of it. Go in with an open mind and an open heart and surrender!!
I was also a bit worried that it would be a bunch of old dried out drunks with nothing but problems...that is the last thing I thought I needed to be around...boy was I wrong! I made some very powerful connections there and a very good friend! With a horse....she is also a horse person....boy the stories we can tell...lol..
Boy what a concept..lord knows it took me long enough to figure that out!!! .lol...hugs to you
congrats to you...you are working hard at getting clean..I am so happy for you...things will be ok..if you just stop putting those pills in your mouth!!!
You know I do Sharon and yes, you are a minority of your own and for that I am so grateful...
I just wanted to put a different prespective in here no more no less.
Mikeys brother has been sober for 11 mths(we are so proud of him)9 were spent in rehab & hes now at a half way house.
As part of this program he MUST attend 3 meetings a week.So Ive talked with him about it.As he is alot like me as far as being around alot of people.I spoke honestly & asked him many questions.Because I know those 3 meetings I went to were just that(only 3).
Anyways,I asked him how he feels about that whole thing(AA)& please keep in mind these are his words & I just wanted to put them out & please keep in mind I realize there are different types of meetings.
In his words...It bothers him.Not because he doesnt want to stay sober but to him it seem as if for the most part what he hears are others talking about their(drinking)days.That bothers him,like ....I really want to put this right.
The meetings he attends seem to him like a group of people just sort of bragging about what they have done.
Again I know these are not my thoughts as after only 3 meetings I have no right to pass judgement.These are his words.
I was wondering is the 12 steppers see this happen?In your groups do you see peopl;e who are....reliving thier party days & almost seem as if they are bragging about what or how much they have done
Please know this post is NOT I repeat IS NOT to start anything,I really would like input from those who have been doing meetings for a long time
molly
Mikeys brother has been sober for 11 mths(we are so proud of him)9 were spent in rehab & hes now at a half way house.
As part of this program he MUST attend 3 meetings a week.So Ive talked with him about it.As he is alot like me as far as being around alot of people.I spoke honestly & asked him many questions.Because I know those 3 meetings I went to were just that(only 3).
Anyways,I asked him how he feels about that whole thing(AA)& please keep in mind these are his words & I just wanted to put them out & please keep in mind I realize there are different types of meetings.
In his words...It bothers him.Not because he doesnt want to stay sober but to him it seem as if for the most part what he hears are others talking about their(drinking)days.That bothers him,like ....I really want to put this right.
The meetings he attends seem to him like a group of people just sort of bragging about what they have done.
Again I know these are not my thoughts as after only 3 meetings I have no right to pass judgement.These are his words.
I was wondering is the 12 steppers see this happen?In your groups do you see peopl;e who are....reliving thier party days & almost seem as if they are bragging about what or how much they have done
Please know this post is NOT I repeat IS NOT to start anything,I really would like input from those who have been doing meetings for a long time
molly
Thanks for the perspective MJ - I actually felt that way in the first few NA meetings that I went to... It could just be that I'm still not ready to be a part of that "group" but I have always been kind of "anti-establishment" anyway, and the idea of belonging to a very intimate and close-knit group like that actually kind of bothers me. All of the readings and the group recitings freaks me out a little bit. My therapist said that you should go and take what you want from the meetings, and that it's just good to be around other people who may have an experience that resonates with yours. I remember going to an AA meeting with my brother and was listening to the speaker and what he said made so much sense - for my brother and for me too (that was one of the first real moments where I realized that this was an issue for me to and it scared the s*** out of me). I think some people REALLY need to hang on to it as a lifeline to their recovery, and some people can be a part of it but not necessarily be religiously involved and still learn from it.
Have any of you read "24 Hours a Day" put out by Hazeldon? It's the most amazing book of meditations, thoughts and hopes for each day (it goes along with the big book usually) and I was reading that months ago, after I went to visit my brother again in rehab. That I could relate to. I think the groups, if you find the right one, just reinforce internalizing the philosophies and behaviors.
But I do know what you're talking about... and I do have some reservations that are beyond just denial (I know myself and I know how I think about things).
But I also want to keep going and try to really be open.
I dunno...
Have any of you read "24 Hours a Day" put out by Hazeldon? It's the most amazing book of meditations, thoughts and hopes for each day (it goes along with the big book usually) and I was reading that months ago, after I went to visit my brother again in rehab. That I could relate to. I think the groups, if you find the right one, just reinforce internalizing the philosophies and behaviors.
But I do know what you're talking about... and I do have some reservations that are beyond just denial (I know myself and I know how I think about things).
But I also want to keep going and try to really be open.
I dunno...
MJ
I've never been to a meeting like that but I've heard that there are meetings where most of the people are court ordered that do that. I've heard people complain about that kind of thing going on by people that don't really want to be there or be sober, they just go because someone is making them. So, since they aren't interested in sobriety I guess they don't talk about it. This is just my opinion tho. I suggest trying different meetings to find where there is some real recovery not drunk a logs. If I walked into a meeting where all they talked about was getting buzzed I'd walk out if I couldn't turn it into what it was supposed to be.
I've never been to a meeting like that but I've heard that there are meetings where most of the people are court ordered that do that. I've heard people complain about that kind of thing going on by people that don't really want to be there or be sober, they just go because someone is making them. So, since they aren't interested in sobriety I guess they don't talk about it. This is just my opinion tho. I suggest trying different meetings to find where there is some real recovery not drunk a logs. If I walked into a meeting where all they talked about was getting buzzed I'd walk out if I couldn't turn it into what it was supposed to be.
SP Thank you...Ive been a member here for over 2 years & Ive had many tell me just try it.Well as Ive stated I had/have a fear of being around people.Im learning through my therapy it is something deep rooted.But after awhile I felt WTheck let me try it & I felt very uncomfortable.But again thats me.For me Ive made leaps & bounds with my therapist(& if it sounds as if Im proud.....I really am).
But I also agree with you that for some that route(AA)can & is a life line ya know?I commend anyone in HOW they face this demon.To me it is a demon)20+ years of usen & abusing & since Ive been on the Sub I can freely admit I see the world in a whole new light.
Anyways I see you do have a therapist huh?Thats awesome.Thats what I mean there are certain issues in reguards to my life I just would NOT feel right talking about in front of a group where with my therapist(as hard as some stuff is)I feel....I guess safer to talk about certain things.
Thank you for your input & Keep up the good work.I read where you were having issues as far as going back to work...Boy can I relate to that.I had my first job interview in 7 yes I said 7 years last Weds.That tells me just how far Ive come & how hard Im working.
If ever I can be a shoulder for you please let me know ok?I may not be on much as I use to but Ill still try to help however I can
molly
But I also agree with you that for some that route(AA)can & is a life line ya know?I commend anyone in HOW they face this demon.To me it is a demon)20+ years of usen & abusing & since Ive been on the Sub I can freely admit I see the world in a whole new light.
Anyways I see you do have a therapist huh?Thats awesome.Thats what I mean there are certain issues in reguards to my life I just would NOT feel right talking about in front of a group where with my therapist(as hard as some stuff is)I feel....I guess safer to talk about certain things.
Thank you for your input & Keep up the good work.I read where you were having issues as far as going back to work...Boy can I relate to that.I had my first job interview in 7 yes I said 7 years last Weds.That tells me just how far Ive come & how hard Im working.
If ever I can be a shoulder for you please let me know ok?I may not be on much as I use to but Ill still try to help however I can
molly
Hey Kat yes with my BIL it is court ordered but I can as well as I know him (which is well)also say he really want to stay sober.It took his body starting to shut down for him to actually say enough.I dont know if he is allowed to pick what group or meeting but I will ask him about this.
Thank you for your input
molly
Thank you for your input
molly
Thanks MJ - really. Same goes for you. And congrats on the JOB INTERVIEW! That's amazing! I have had a therapist for (god, forever) and I'm actually starting a dialectical behavioral therapy group very soon. I don't know how much you all know about DBT, but it's supposed to be amazing. They use it a lot with people who have borderline personality disorder... but since I have a huge hx of anxiety and depression (and the using too... which has sort of been dribbled in and out of my life for 10 years), it works in modules to teach life skills, etc. I think it sounds very cool. Hopefully insurance will cover it. I'm going broke with all of this stuff. I guess that's another reason to go to NA/AA... :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialec...avioral_therapy
P.S. I ALWAYS WANTED to play ms. hannigan (been watching Annie). I would have rocked that s***.... And Carol Burnett is a goddess.
P.P.S. If you haven't noticed, I'm pretty tangential. :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialec...avioral_therapy
P.S. I ALWAYS WANTED to play ms. hannigan (been watching Annie). I would have rocked that s***.... And Carol Burnett is a goddess.
P.P.S. If you haven't noticed, I'm pretty tangential. :)
This is my perspective.
You will hear what you want to.If you don't want to be there,have serious reservations and pre-conceived ideals about the program,then that's what you will get back.I've gone through different phases about the program in my long career of chemical abuse.There were times that I hated AA and when I would go to a meeting I would look for all the things I thought wrong with it and the people.I found them in spades.
If you are coming from that place........Don't go,it won't work.
And Molly,you are right.There are meetings like your brother described.I've been to them.
You have to realize this.There are so many AA/NA meetings now.They are not all the same and you're dealing with addicts and alcoholics at all stages of sobriety.Look at the diversity on this BB and the conflict. It's no different in a meeting.You are walking into a room with the same people.
It may take you checking out multiple groups.It did me.
The twelve steps and twelve traditions are the real soul of the program.If you go looking for something else you will lose the whole perspective of whats it about.
You're going to have Zealots screaming there is no other way and then you will also have people who have learned through experience to respect any path that people choose.Some people believe AA/NA is a cult.You can make anything a cult.It is not a cult.It's up to you to make the choices of what you want out of the program.
I had to come to the realization that my way was seriously flawed.I did go back with a new set of ears and don't regret it.I got a sponsor who started me on the steps and that's when I quit focusing on everyone elses character defects and started looking at mine.
I also go to ACIM...A Course In Miracles and study Eastern religions.I go to therapy when I need it.
I think the program of AA/NA helped open my mind to try other things instead of the other way around.IMO some people do go overboard with the program but maybe thats what they need to stay sober.More power to them.It's better that devoting all your spare time to being f*cked up.LOL
You will hear what you want to.If you don't want to be there,have serious reservations and pre-conceived ideals about the program,then that's what you will get back.I've gone through different phases about the program in my long career of chemical abuse.There were times that I hated AA and when I would go to a meeting I would look for all the things I thought wrong with it and the people.I found them in spades.
If you are coming from that place........Don't go,it won't work.
And Molly,you are right.There are meetings like your brother described.I've been to them.
You have to realize this.There are so many AA/NA meetings now.They are not all the same and you're dealing with addicts and alcoholics at all stages of sobriety.Look at the diversity on this BB and the conflict. It's no different in a meeting.You are walking into a room with the same people.
It may take you checking out multiple groups.It did me.
The twelve steps and twelve traditions are the real soul of the program.If you go looking for something else you will lose the whole perspective of whats it about.
You're going to have Zealots screaming there is no other way and then you will also have people who have learned through experience to respect any path that people choose.Some people believe AA/NA is a cult.You can make anything a cult.It is not a cult.It's up to you to make the choices of what you want out of the program.
I had to come to the realization that my way was seriously flawed.I did go back with a new set of ears and don't regret it.I got a sponsor who started me on the steps and that's when I quit focusing on everyone elses character defects and started looking at mine.
I also go to ACIM...A Course In Miracles and study Eastern religions.I go to therapy when I need it.
I think the program of AA/NA helped open my mind to try other things instead of the other way around.IMO some people do go overboard with the program but maybe thats what they need to stay sober.More power to them.It's better that devoting all your spare time to being f*cked up.LOL
Well said Tim.I think you covered it all,and quite impartially too,thats very admirable.
I just love the way you always word things,and always impartial.You dont swing one way or the other,you just talk about what works,how it works,for you,and what youve observed in others. Thanks,you really help others to "think" about the whole thing...i know you do me.~KIM
I just love the way you always word things,and always impartial.You dont swing one way or the other,you just talk about what works,how it works,for you,and what youve observed in others. Thanks,you really help others to "think" about the whole thing...i know you do me.~KIM
