You know Abby, i wrote to you a few times and i told you that you could do it and i ment that all the way.
Im just sitting here trying to read all the posts that are on here and get caught up and say hello to everyone. Your post's have caught me in the heart.
I was were you are just a few days ago.
I remember taking pills and buying pills and getting the doctor to find another thing wrong with me all the time.
Like you , it was a year and 1/2 ago that i started(maybe alittle longer).
Im 25 years old and i have 2 boys that are 9 and 4. I had my first son at the age of 15 and i never got caught up in the drug situations like my friends did.
I now have a wonderful fiancee and he loves us very much!! He got to the point were he said to me " Christina, i just cant make you happy." "You have mood swings and dont even realize it."
And that is when i decided to tell him. I sat and cryed and told him that i loved him and that i needed him more than anything now and to please help me.
I , like you abby, tried to tapper myself off the pills millions of times. But like your x-mas, i always had a tuff time and needed to take more that day for some reason or another. That's when i gave the pills to my fiancee!!! He agreed to help me and get me off the pills. He only gave me a certain amount a day. Only a few in the morning and a few at night. My body went through little w/d's every day. But the best part of that was the mind addiction part was going away. I remember always trying to figure out how much i had and when i would run out and i wouldnt even go any where w/out knowing i had them in my purse.
One day after i asked for help.... I was driving home from work, knowing that i only had a half of a pill in my purse, i called my fiancee and asked him to dinner with me that night. I didnt think twise about having the pills and it felt so good that it made me smile.
I learned that i couldnt take enough to get me that "high" feeling. If i did , then it would never stop. So i would take less, and less, at a time. If i took one pill and it gave me that "high" feeling like i could get anything and everything done, then the next time i knew only to take a half. If you continue to get that "high" feeling when you take them, your always gonna want them.
I know this is long and im sorry. I hope you are still reading. My heart goes out to you because you write the same words that i did when i started on this board! And at that time i just felt like dieing, because i couldnt stop.
My story gets longer and alot mor boring and i would love to tell ya everything some time, but im not sure if it will help or not. So let me know how your foing and keep me posted on what is going on. I'll be thinking of you.
Your Friend, Christina
Christina, yes i'am out here. I went and got my neice today to spend the night with my daughter. They are watching mean girls right now so i thought i would hope on here and post alittle bit. Love your story, that does sound alot like me, we are probably about the same age, it seems. I'am 26, will be 27 on jan.5th. I've done so so today. But got to admit i did get 5 today and took them. But i guess that is better then 10 or 12. It's going to take time, time that i really don't have patience for. Tapering might not be my thing. Maybe i need to try another approach. How was your day? Talk to you soon. You can e-mail me anytime you would like to talk one on one at etraceybird@aol.
Christina, are you on here today? I'll only be on here alittle longer, got to go and do some returning presents!!!! I hope its not to bad out there at the mall. I done pretty good yesterday, i took 5 and that was it. My legs hurt alittle bit and i sweated alot about all night. But i really don't think it can from just taking 5. I might be trying to get the flu, hope not! Talk back with ya soon!!!!!!
