Hello,
Back again....I just wanted to say that today was much better than yesterday, coming off of the sub. I only took 4mg today, which I think is amazing. Monday I was still on 12 mg. I was going to wait a couple more days for the next cut, but about 2 hours ago I realized that I never took my evening dose. Now its after 11 and I feel good still. If I can hold out until morning, I have successfully cut my dose by 2/3 in 4 days with only mild effects.
I didn't even take any xanax, which I figured I would be needing to take the edge off. But, right now, there is no edge:) I even had laser tattoo removal today, and for the first time did it without novocaine on one tattoo. This is progress!!! Last year, I would have needed a fistful of oxys to do this.
Thanks Lisa, for posting my post. I really am doing great right now. Things at home have been so good, life is good now. If I have learned anything it is to take the good when you can get it, and thank God you have it. I've been up and down, and up is better.
Those of you who have been around as long as me, or longer, know that I have has a love/hate relationship with sub. I confess I did not read much of the locked thread that Cowgirl posted. Skimmed a few pages, have no idea why it was locked. But one thing I want every active addict and sub user to know is I think that we feed off of each others fears. As addicts we would rather cut off a finger than go through WD!!! But please, please remember...AND REMIND ME...that the fear is worse than anything.
Again, I'm not bashing the board, but when we are trying to get off of something, I do not think it helps to come here and read the horror stories. Sure, be there for people. But, I remember days that I spent hours on this board. Sometimes 4, 5, 10 newbies would come in...sick and in need of help. I felt good trying to be of help, to be there for them, but now I think it may have actually been a detriment to my recovery. It contributed to my procrastination, and I did not even know it until life diverted my attention.
You may not be like me, but keep that thought somewhere in the back of your mind in case you ever need it.
As for the doctor in (soon to be) Ohio... I'm glad she is leaving and she will be giving me a final script. I'm not the least bit worried, I'm excited. I know I may get sick, but this was day 4 of the big cut and I felt good, great even. Yesterday morning sucked, today was fine. I ate, shopped, talked to people I met who loved my little purse puppy, did my hair and make up, walked my dog through the city and sneaked him into a restaurant. For now, I am fine. When this is all over...I will be fine.
But, I was ready to quit. It was my time. Plus, look at all the info. I have picked up from here and researching. I'm worried about that 18 year old scared looking girl I saw in full blown WD at the doctors office one day. Does she know how to taper? Will she quit at 24mg? What about all the others?
The doctor sure didn't know much, and admitted it! Each time I went in, they did a first visit history on me...look at my eyes, ask if I was sweating, vomiting, rapid heartbeat. One day I said... "you know, I haven't been in WD since about 5:30 AM on October 27." So what did I get next? An EKG!! Still not sure why, probably insurance money to pay the movers...LOL... but WTF???
Well, I'm off to la la land with my little Yorkie, who is already in la la land. I'm staying at the hotel that has "Heavenly Beds" and they asked me if I needed a "Heavenly Dog Bed." AS IF..... !!!! My baby does not sleep on the floor like a..........something that sleeps on the floor.
Hope you all are well.
Love,
Atlas
atlas.................
so glad to hear your doing well.............................
i have a yourkie-poo..............................
i love her so much..............................................
God Bless you and your lil doggie..................................
love..................thumper
so glad to hear your doing well.............................
i have a yourkie-poo..............................
i love her so much..............................................
God Bless you and your lil doggie..................................
love..................thumper
i'm so happy for you atlas.
i'm so proud of you.
it is awesome to hear you say whatcha said.
i used sub for a real rapid detox ... and it worked great for me.
so maybe just maybe you might feel Ka-Ka one day .. but come on babygirl - you know you can get through it. you're an incredible spirit who inspires us everyday. you CAN do this. you WANT this.
Start Living your life Opiate-Free Baby!!!!!!!!
i'm so proud of you.
it is awesome to hear you say whatcha said.
i used sub for a real rapid detox ... and it worked great for me.
so maybe just maybe you might feel Ka-Ka one day .. but come on babygirl - you know you can get through it. you're an incredible spirit who inspires us everyday. you CAN do this. you WANT this.
Start Living your life Opiate-Free Baby!!!!!!!!
Atlas people don't realize how easy it is to taper down on the Sub, the Sub has a da to 2 day after life so you might want to keep what you have just incase, you might need a 1/2 mil in the morning and a 1/2 in the eve and once you can stay stable on that you can cut down more. But i read of to many people here eating 8 mil a day for months, thats nuts. The Sub was a godsend to me but i tapered down to crumbs before letting go, i didn't even have to go to NA meetings (but i didn't want to) i prooved to myself i could do it alone and i did. Congrats atlas, just take it one day at a time, and each time keep taking less and less, and only take it when you start to CLUCK, and if you don't know what CLUCK means? you will soon lol Goodluck (-:
Atlas, I am gearing up myself...so can you sorta post your drops and how you felt for me? I know you are super busy, but I wanna know how it is done...
I went back up to 12 when I pulled my back, and now, I want to go down/maybe off.
Because of all this talk about sub on the locked thread, I am scared now. I do just want to add that sub has been more beneficial than harmful to me thus far, but I know it can easily turn into a crutch. the thing that got me was the pinned pupils as I now work around Drs all day and wonder if they notice....
Peace.
I went back up to 12 when I pulled my back, and now, I want to go down/maybe off.
Because of all this talk about sub on the locked thread, I am scared now. I do just want to add that sub has been more beneficial than harmful to me thus far, but I know it can easily turn into a crutch. the thing that got me was the pinned pupils as I now work around Drs all day and wonder if they notice....
Peace.
Is clucking like jonesing?
Hey everyone,
Glad you're doing well Atlas, what I have found with sub, was that my reduction down to 2mg was fine-not many w/d's or anything BUT after the 2mg mark, well the w/d's are no longer physical, how do I explain this, what it feels like to me is that the subs kinda holding my brain together and now whenever I reduce it feels like my brain just totally goes to pieces, I can't hold a single straight though in my head, my emotions are so raw its unture-I mean I've now been at 1.6mg for about a year now and I seem stuck there (in my current job I so need to be able to concentrate-and trying to reduce makes me an emotional wreck, so as per my drug workers instructions I've just held there-but obviously I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and just drop or quit totally)
Hope you all have a good day
love
Gabbi
hi Kerry *wavingatcha* clucking just means w/d's
hope your ok too
Glad you're doing well Atlas, what I have found with sub, was that my reduction down to 2mg was fine-not many w/d's or anything BUT after the 2mg mark, well the w/d's are no longer physical, how do I explain this, what it feels like to me is that the subs kinda holding my brain together and now whenever I reduce it feels like my brain just totally goes to pieces, I can't hold a single straight though in my head, my emotions are so raw its unture-I mean I've now been at 1.6mg for about a year now and I seem stuck there (in my current job I so need to be able to concentrate-and trying to reduce makes me an emotional wreck, so as per my drug workers instructions I've just held there-but obviously I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and just drop or quit totally)
Hope you all have a good day
love
Gabbi
hi Kerry *wavingatcha* clucking just means w/d's
hope your ok too
Atlas...I'm sorry that the thread got locked. My intent in reposting what you wrote was to make sure that others saw your post. I've made it clear that I think sub has it's place but like anything else, people need to be educated. So talking about it is a good idea. Fear is the one thing that kept me from getting clean. That is so true. But I sure found out otherwise.
Love the story about the doggy bed...I have one of those dogs, who's not a dog, too.
Take care honey...
Lisa
Love the story about the doggy bed...I have one of those dogs, who's not a dog, too.
Take care honey...
Lisa
Good morning everyone. I'm not so exhausted today and I went back and read the locked thread. I don't think it should have been locked, but I don't decide. That was actually a great thread with lots of great input.
To Brook...I have no idea what happened or what you are currently going through. I just hope that you feel better very soon. I have been told that a few people on this board have come off of sub without WD. I think Redd, and I cannot remember, but I think JD knows.
I think it was silly to lock such a great thread just because someone got angry, especially someone who is not feeling well at the moment.
I have been up for a few hours & did not have to take sub today. This will be day 5 of the reduction. 3 days at 6mg (from 12mg) then 4mg, and today will be the second day at 4mg. If my calculations are correct, I should start feeling s***ty around wake up time tomorrow. I will take my lessened dose and feel better in minutes. Then my body will adjust and down to the next cut.
Does anyone remember the time I tapered down ever so slowly to 5mg? Then swore I felt WD? I wasn't ready.
I KNOW the end of the taper is where you feel it, that's why I'm being so drastic now.
I just want to add a couple of cents....
Sub is everything. It is good and bad, helpful and hindering, necessary and not necessary, right and wrong..... Few sober people regret the path they take. If I would have CTed it I sure wouldn't be sitting around saying "I wish I would have taken sub." It is no wonder those who did CT have such strong opinions about it.
All I know is that for me, it has given me the last 7 months to not obsess about pills and to keep a far distance from anyone who takes them. I doubt any of that will change when the taper is over. I may have cravings, but I will not have an endless list of sources shuffling through my mind. I will not be thinking things like "Okay, I can go see_____. It's 3 hours from here. If leave by 10:30 that will give me an hour or so to hang out, then can be back before hubby comes home." OR "When was the last time I asked Dr._____ for a favor? Should I ask Dr.------ instead?"
I do not even care if I am sicker coming off of sub than oxys. I have those 7 months and I wouldn't have had them going CT. That has to help in some way.
I see lots of talk about people reducing. My advice and opinion is if you are ready, just do it. I am at 2/3 less and it is day 5, and it has not yet affected my life.
I will try and keep posting as this continues. I wish you all well.
Love,
Atlas
To Brook...I have no idea what happened or what you are currently going through. I just hope that you feel better very soon. I have been told that a few people on this board have come off of sub without WD. I think Redd, and I cannot remember, but I think JD knows.
I think it was silly to lock such a great thread just because someone got angry, especially someone who is not feeling well at the moment.
I have been up for a few hours & did not have to take sub today. This will be day 5 of the reduction. 3 days at 6mg (from 12mg) then 4mg, and today will be the second day at 4mg. If my calculations are correct, I should start feeling s***ty around wake up time tomorrow. I will take my lessened dose and feel better in minutes. Then my body will adjust and down to the next cut.
Does anyone remember the time I tapered down ever so slowly to 5mg? Then swore I felt WD? I wasn't ready.
I KNOW the end of the taper is where you feel it, that's why I'm being so drastic now.
I just want to add a couple of cents....
Sub is everything. It is good and bad, helpful and hindering, necessary and not necessary, right and wrong..... Few sober people regret the path they take. If I would have CTed it I sure wouldn't be sitting around saying "I wish I would have taken sub." It is no wonder those who did CT have such strong opinions about it.
All I know is that for me, it has given me the last 7 months to not obsess about pills and to keep a far distance from anyone who takes them. I doubt any of that will change when the taper is over. I may have cravings, but I will not have an endless list of sources shuffling through my mind. I will not be thinking things like "Okay, I can go see_____. It's 3 hours from here. If leave by 10:30 that will give me an hour or so to hang out, then can be back before hubby comes home." OR "When was the last time I asked Dr._____ for a favor? Should I ask Dr.------ instead?"
I do not even care if I am sicker coming off of sub than oxys. I have those 7 months and I wouldn't have had them going CT. That has to help in some way.
I see lots of talk about people reducing. My advice and opinion is if you are ready, just do it. I am at 2/3 less and it is day 5, and it has not yet affected my life.
I will try and keep posting as this continues. I wish you all well.
Love,
Atlas
P.S. And most importantly, THANK YOU for all the kindness and support from everyone. I know Lisa had good intentions reposting, and IMO the thread should still be open.
Oh, and clucking is how you feel at the end of a long binge aka withdrawal.
Oh, and clucking is how you feel at the end of a long binge aka withdrawal.
Hey Atlas:
Don't know a darn thing about Sub except what I have read here...
I just wanted to say Congratulations on your recovery plan...
I have read a lot of your posts since I joined here...Seems like you are well on your way to a better life now and I am so happy for you.
Keep posting and keep fighting...
Don't know a darn thing about Sub except what I have read here...
I just wanted to say Congratulations on your recovery plan...
I have read a lot of your posts since I joined here...Seems like you are well on your way to a better life now and I am so happy for you.
Keep posting and keep fighting...
I think that you are doing great.... period... acknowledging the possible w/d while not getting caught up in the fear... also.. that little tid bit of honesty regarding your not so w/d before....lol.... not that it mattered to any of us but to tell on yourself .. that is what happens when you are really getting recovery... really getting it and putting it into action....
The hole point is you are exactly right in what you said about sub plus... the difference is having a plan for getting off.... congrats on your successes.... glad you are feeling ok....
God Bless
Teresa
The hole point is you are exactly right in what you said about sub plus... the difference is having a plan for getting off.... congrats on your successes.... glad you are feeling ok....
God Bless
Teresa
Atlas Please remeber its a powerful drug. And I have been succesful 3 times in weaning with little W/D. I take so much crap I have no clue how I feel or what makes me sick sometimes But I know W/D.
Tried it many times of different meds. Its mostly mentally challenge not so physical for me.
Anyway when you get to 2mg this is when people tend to get stuck. I suggest
you cut by .5 mg and again spread it out. if your dosing evrey 4 hrs try 6 then 7 you may be able to kill a dose this way.
Anyway the last 2mg was the challenge for me. This is how my doctor suggested I wean.
She wanted me to decide the end of my use. So there was no pressure the first 2 times.
The third? I just went 4-3-2-1 cutting 1g each week till boom of as my sub doctor wants me off all sub and told me by July I would be cut off so I said F-it. I was a bit out of it but No Biggie. It will be a surprise for her.
This woman saved my life. I kinda have a soft spot for her in my heart. She can now add another patient who needs the sub. I also managed by spreading my doses and weaning to accumulate a bunch of pills and a script so for me that is key as I am prone to many health issues where surgeries come in bunches.
I read about all the opinions and stories but rareely do I read about what anybodies support is minus the SUB??? For me it was a lot of therapy. I think I am going to find a pyscologist to deal with my mood swings.
I am atempting to the hardest weaning of all in 30 yrs on prednisone. I cant get off it and soon will attempt to cut to 5mg. The lowest ever--with the help of a new asthma drug. WAITING/B.S
Went of on a tangent. anyway please be careful Atlas on how fast you come down.
There is no perfect way to get off the Sub. But you just experiment. Your body will adjust.
Good Luck
Jeff
Tried it many times of different meds. Its mostly mentally challenge not so physical for me.
Anyway when you get to 2mg this is when people tend to get stuck. I suggest
you cut by .5 mg and again spread it out. if your dosing evrey 4 hrs try 6 then 7 you may be able to kill a dose this way.
Anyway the last 2mg was the challenge for me. This is how my doctor suggested I wean.
She wanted me to decide the end of my use. So there was no pressure the first 2 times.
The third? I just went 4-3-2-1 cutting 1g each week till boom of as my sub doctor wants me off all sub and told me by July I would be cut off so I said F-it. I was a bit out of it but No Biggie. It will be a surprise for her.
This woman saved my life. I kinda have a soft spot for her in my heart. She can now add another patient who needs the sub. I also managed by spreading my doses and weaning to accumulate a bunch of pills and a script so for me that is key as I am prone to many health issues where surgeries come in bunches.
I read about all the opinions and stories but rareely do I read about what anybodies support is minus the SUB??? For me it was a lot of therapy. I think I am going to find a pyscologist to deal with my mood swings.
I am atempting to the hardest weaning of all in 30 yrs on prednisone. I cant get off it and soon will attempt to cut to 5mg. The lowest ever--with the help of a new asthma drug. WAITING/B.S
Went of on a tangent. anyway please be careful Atlas on how fast you come down.
There is no perfect way to get off the Sub. But you just experiment. Your body will adjust.
Good Luck
Jeff
Thanks Theresa...You always make great points, but your message sometimes seems to get misintrepreted or lost. I knew what you were saying in the other thread.
Jeff, thank you also. Big cuts now so I can afford small ones later, that is the plan. If I have learned nothing, I did learn that. I actually saved empty pill bottles full of dust. It is actually not that hard to get the doses tiny if you chop them up into dust, much as you would do with coke...LOL...then divide it all out into however many portions you need.
I honestly cannot imagine any pill popper needing more than 4mg per day, with a few exceptions. Heroin? May be different...I wouldn't know.
Does anyone else think that we...this board...is just a big psychology study/experiment? LOL
Jeff, thank you also. Big cuts now so I can afford small ones later, that is the plan. If I have learned nothing, I did learn that. I actually saved empty pill bottles full of dust. It is actually not that hard to get the doses tiny if you chop them up into dust, much as you would do with coke...LOL...then divide it all out into however many portions you need.
I honestly cannot imagine any pill popper needing more than 4mg per day, with a few exceptions. Heroin? May be different...I wouldn't know.
Does anyone else think that we...this board...is just a big psychology study/experiment? LOL
Atlas I always used to keep the bottle and use it as a bedtime dose instead of a pill. It worked evreytime.
Just like coke -YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Jeff
Just like coke -YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Jeff
Good for you. What a great post. I loved the reminder that fear of withdrawal is not a good reason to keep using. Thank God they pass fast (even though it doesn't feel like it). The worst thing we'd want to do is scare people away from trying. Withdrawing's no fun, but otc drugs help with the worst of it, and there's such a wonderful brass ring at the end. Don't hesitate. Taper to a couple, then Just Do It! It's the weekend. You can be feeling better by Monday and then for the rest of your life. Hang in through the symptoms - they'll get better and it's the only way you will be.
Gwen
Gwen
Atlas,
Sounds like you're saying goodbye. Just know how much you've helped everyone and I'm sure we all WISH you would stay. Your story is a very valuable one in helping others and you are very knowledgeable. I'm sure glad you were here when Pets was....right place, right time. Thanks ever so much.
Sounds like you're saying goodbye. Just know how much you've helped everyone and I'm sure we all WISH you would stay. Your story is a very valuable one in helping others and you are very knowledgeable. I'm sure glad you were here when Pets was....right place, right time. Thanks ever so much.
Atlas!! You're going to be FINE!!!!!!!
Your energy level will be a lil low - and u might feel icky - but it's NOT BAD AT ALL COMPARED to cold turkey. I'm sorry ... i know i read these horror stories, too - and don't read them! Think Positive!
You're going to be feeling alive & well VERY SOON. just think ... once you're completely off ... and in about a week or two - you're going to be looking back at these posts!!!! and you're going to be so freaking proud of yourself!!!!!!!!!
It is going to be sooooo worth it. NO more pills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:o)
Your energy level will be a lil low - and u might feel icky - but it's NOT BAD AT ALL COMPARED to cold turkey. I'm sorry ... i know i read these horror stories, too - and don't read them! Think Positive!
You're going to be feeling alive & well VERY SOON. just think ... once you're completely off ... and in about a week or two - you're going to be looking back at these posts!!!! and you're going to be so freaking proud of yourself!!!!!!!!!
It is going to be sooooo worth it. NO more pills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:o)
Atlas,
I have thought of you many times over the past couple months or so and always hoped you were doing well.
Sounds like you are................
You will finally be free from pills once and for all....................I cant wait till that day comes for me.
I am still on 6-8mg's of sub per day, and procrastinating a taper................but it has to be done.
Take care of you, and post when you can, I would love to hear more from you.
Hugs.
I have thought of you many times over the past couple months or so and always hoped you were doing well.
Sounds like you are................
You will finally be free from pills once and for all....................I cant wait till that day comes for me.
I am still on 6-8mg's of sub per day, and procrastinating a taper................but it has to be done.
Take care of you, and post when you can, I would love to hear more from you.
Hugs.
Atlas...you made a comment about sub users being a great big scientific experiement...holy crap. Never thought of it that way, but sure makes sense...do they really know what they're doing (doctors)?
Have a great Sunday..
Lisa
Have a great Sunday..
Lisa