I last used heroin on 5 September 2000. Everyone I know thinks I am clean. I am the only person who knows the truth. I think that since I don't do heroin anymore, then I am "okay", but no-one else sees the codein binges every so often, no one sees the times I stay at home and pass out cos I drank too much. But in my eyes, "I am clean, because my drugs are legal, over the counter stuff". It doesn't seem to stop...
Hi
Oh gosh, You are lying to yourself, get it out in the open. Honesty, integrity are not ideals of a by-gone era.
Take care
Rose
Oh gosh, You are lying to yourself, get it out in the open. Honesty, integrity are not ideals of a by-gone era.
Take care
Rose
You need to stop abusing, this is destructive behavior.I don't know the situation you are in but i'm a recovering addict, and i know for myself i can not touch anything, no alcohol, weed,cocaine. and if i was to start using anything, i could have a serious problem.I have been a maijuana addict for about 21 years, and since 1998 i went on an all out binge 24/7. I will be 34 this summer and i woke up one day and thought to myself where has all this time gone? Something inside of me snapped it seemed like i was losing myself,everything in life seemd to be dull. it was time for me to quit, and i went cold turkey within days. i have 2 awesome kids, and i use them for my inspiration everyday.I hope you have an inspiration you can use if not do it for yourself, you have to. I feel better everyday, physically, mental. i'm here to tell you that if i can change there is hope for us all.I'm not going to tell you that it's not a day to day thing, but you have to make up your mind it's over and i can live straight, you were straight before you started and you can be straight again.DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF....................Willy
Have you ever tried a 12-step program like Narcotics Anonymous?
I've been a member of NA since 1996, and have been clean ever since. I find it helpful to have people in the program around me, addicts who are like me and think like I do. The 12 Steps have helped me get rid of the sick thinking and the personal baggage that kept me using.
The website is:
www.na.org
there is a meeting locator on the site that should help you find meetings in your area.
I've been a member of NA since 1996, and have been clean ever since. I find it helpful to have people in the program around me, addicts who are like me and think like I do. The 12 Steps have helped me get rid of the sick thinking and the personal baggage that kept me using.
The website is:
www.na.org
there is a meeting locator on the site that should help you find meetings in your area.
I went into a treatment center(2 actually) in 2000 and for about a year I carried on going to meetings. But I started drinking the same week I got out of the center.
Things have been really good though lately. I have gotten rid of some of the things which were causing me to do all this destructive stuff (people mainly) and this past week or so has been totally great. Things are looking up at the moment cos I've got alot of things coming up to look forward to. So I should be fine.
I am feeling alot stronger also lately and I am working abit more on me.
I often do get the feeling though that I would really like to go into another treatment facility for a couple of months or so, but I know that it is because I want to hide away from the real world cos it is only when the going gets tough.
Thanks all.
I have never ever felt like anyone cared about my addict personality because non of my family are addicts so they always pass it off as non important or basically non-existant.
So thank-you all for showing me that there are people like me.
xxx
Things have been really good though lately. I have gotten rid of some of the things which were causing me to do all this destructive stuff (people mainly) and this past week or so has been totally great. Things are looking up at the moment cos I've got alot of things coming up to look forward to. So I should be fine.
I am feeling alot stronger also lately and I am working abit more on me.
I often do get the feeling though that I would really like to go into another treatment facility for a couple of months or so, but I know that it is because I want to hide away from the real world cos it is only when the going gets tough.
Thanks all.
I have never ever felt like anyone cared about my addict personality because non of my family are addicts so they always pass it off as non important or basically non-existant.
So thank-you all for showing me that there are people like me.
xxx
hey gurl. Well to tell the truth doing any kind of drugs even if it is over the counter you shouldn't be getting carried away with what you do, you never ever know what's going to happen to you if you can't hack what you do. Not drinking, smoking up, and doing whatever is that you do doesn't get you anywhere in life, well yeah sure it gets you high you feel that your on top of the world for a while but hey your really not on top of the world if your putting yourself so low just to feel good about yourself. Take a good second and think about how much money you spend and what other things that you really need you could get more of, you can live a happier life, you have a lot more to do, and the truth is that when you don't do it you're yourself just you, that's cool. Deep down inside you want to be clean that's why you talk about it and ask for help and get good advice from others who experience this, well it ain't much of an experience because it doesn't get you d*** all. Well one day you'll be able to look in the mirror and see that beautiful sparkle ( which means happiness ) that you had before you did any of that hardcore stuff, well not only god wants to see you happy and loved more but you deep down inside want to see yourself like that.
hey gurl you know what your doing i have done many times, and its scary when you isolate so much and everyone thinks your clean but you know the truth, what as saved me and i have beeb to rehabs 7 times and i have tried everything and i know for me the biggest hurdle for me was the hiding and isolation . because you know your going to crash eventually and you cant go through a bottom alone . it will only make your crash worse, my motto is f*** evryone i want to live, i use to worry what people would say , and when i was relapsing all i cared about was what i was losing (job,s,friends, money.etc..) never really considering i could die, this time it hit me man i can die, simple as that, die is such a final word, you and i and all humans are all going to die but were not put on earth to die by an overdose,or drug related s***. man! your a human being you need to want to live, people care for you, s*** i dont know you and i care for you, find your reason, live LIVE!!
hi - im addicted to codiene - i am a recovering alcoholic - addicts can sometimes transfer from one drug to another - i dont think codiene is the answer - like yourself everyone thinks i am agreat person because i am not falling down drunk etc - ie. pills initially give you some degree of control at the start but eventually your high may not be enough then you will probalbly transer for another addiction - as it seems you possibly have - im great at giving advice but not taking it - it looks like if we stick to this site and stick together we may find something that clicks with us that will enable us to take inventory and make our decision as what we have to do - only an addict can help themselves to stop their addiction - but most of us cannot do it on our own - but we can try - the first step is to recognise we have the problem - im in the course of deciding wether or not to tell my family of my addiction - but i am scared to worry them as i put them through hell with the alcohol - plus my mother is very ill - and my two kids are studying - i would hate to blame myself if the failed in their goals because of my problems - that is why i have to act now.
best wishes
best wishes
Thanks all for ur posts, it means so much to me. I haven't had so many people carin bout me like forever. And right now I am having a really hard time cos almost 2 months ago my man & I broke up & I have been fine with it and coping great, but all of a sudden I am in this sinking depression and loneliness situation which only kicked in now bou a week or so ago. My friends say it's cos I have no constant person around & I am already the kind of person who is always needing to be around people and with people & have company. So rite now is really not good. I feel yuk!
