Hello all. I am so thankful I found this site. My son turned 26 yesterday. He is on probabtion/house arrest and is in mandated IOP. He has Tourettes Syndrome. For the last 2 days he's been on Meth, his DOC. He has full custody of his 7 year old daughter and they live with us. She has never lived anywhere else. He has never left home. Her mother is homeless and also a drug addict. I just moved back to the "family home" the first of Sept. I left in 2013 for my own sanity because of his drugs, stealing from me and threatening me. His father/my husband always makes excuses for him and bails him out. I moved back because my darling granddaughter is getting too old to live with 2 men only and I lost my job. She did stay with me a lot through those 2 years. Through doxpop it shows that it was filed that his probation is being revoked. So I guess he must have decided he'd go out with a bang...He holds our granddaughter as leverage saying if we kick him out, he will take her. He refuses to sign custody over to us and our attorney says it would be a lot of money to fight this. I don't know what to do! I do not want to live with someone doing drugs, but I can't leave my granddaughter either. Maybe he will go to jail...I know from reading through this forum that many of you fight this battle as well. It is a comfort to know I am not alone, though I am very sorry you all suffer.
Hello Nana, I'm BabyLove, nice to meet you. But, i thank u for understanding the suffering that we addicts feel everyday . We never enjoy stealing from our families. We don't like to lie to u guys for the smallest reasons and we sure don't like to avoid our families either. Actually , I hurts me tremendously to constantly avoid my dad and he has no idea his first daughter has been a heroin addict for the past five years. I'm so ashamed that I haven't seen my dad in over a year, and what makes it even sadder is, he lives in the same city as me. Reasons like those are why we addicts think of ourselves as pathetic losers. But it's not just us that we only hurt like we say we are. It's everyone whom is closest to us. In my opinion. (I say my opinion because reading the message board on here is what it seems like to me) especially our mothers. Our mothers are the ones who suffer just as much as we do. So I understand the pain that is conflicted upon you too. But you found the right place to be. There are plenty of wonderful mom's on here that I could only wish were my mother. They truly are wonderful mom's here. And also a lot of great recovering addicts who give the best advice. And the still struggling addicts like myself whom aren't as ugly and obnoxious like other addicts we know and kinda can't stand. There's only good people here , so you will feel nothing but welcomed, compassion and caring and helpful support. I haven't been here long at all. But you mothers are wonderful to me. I wish I could tell all the mom's here thank you and how much I appreciate them, even if they're not my real mom.
But we need to help you come up with a plan that you could be able to get custody of your grandbaby until your son and the mother get clean and well enough to be stand up parents. Well, it's gonna take a lil bit of time to figure what is the best way to do so without hurting anyone and mainly without hurting or scarring your granddaughter. But I guarantee you that in due time we will all do our best to help you in any way that we can. You will never be alone when your on here. We're your virtual family too now! Well, keep posting and it will all work out at the end. I promise. Talk to you soon.
But we need to help you come up with a plan that you could be able to get custody of your grandbaby until your son and the mother get clean and well enough to be stand up parents. Well, it's gonna take a lil bit of time to figure what is the best way to do so without hurting anyone and mainly without hurting or scarring your granddaughter. But I guarantee you that in due time we will all do our best to help you in any way that we can. You will never be alone when your on here. We're your virtual family too now! Well, keep posting and it will all work out at the end. I promise. Talk to you soon.
BabyLove thank you for your response. (((hugs))) I wish you the best on your journey!
Thank you Nana, I wish I could get sober. I had my first and only child in April of this year. To make a long story short, I didn't know any better or understand the power of a mother's love for her child . I want nothing more in this world but to be with her. But I've also learned heartbreaking free of this addiction on my own is impossible. I have no family, friends or support system. I've learned plenty of times now that I'm not able to do this alone. Not even for love. I feel ratchet inside. Sometimes I just wish I was dead. I love my daughter I really do. I also wish I had a decent family. Especially a mother who would hate to see her daughter struggling, who would hate to hear her cry alone late at night in the dark. But she doesn't. She says I'm selfish, only caring of myself. I feel so is she, because when I try to do right she some how stops that from happening. I don't understand my life sometimes. How hard is it to say no and mean it. How hard is it to say enough is enough and it really be no more. I'm tired or being tired. I'm tired of life this way. I just want to be a good mom. I just don't know why I'm not letting myself.
I feel for you. I understand the agony that you face. I wish I had a mother who tried so much like you and all the mothers here. She wouldn't of had to try so long and much because I would of took her help that she offered. I would of accepted it in a heartbeat with open arms. A lot of addicts don't know how lucky they are to have mom's as wonderful as you mom's are. I wish we could trade Moms. Even just to trade for a day.
If you ever need someone to put they're head with yours to help you come up with an idea or seeing something at a different point of view, I'm here for you. Also , A/V I is a website for only legal advice of every kind of legal question you have. If it's business, real estate, family law, divorce, immigration, fraudulent. You understand. Go there, sign in then post your question about what's the best way to go about your son and daughter. The advice you get is from nothing but attorneys and lawyers. So it will be nothing but honest
The only thing is it may be a little blunt or even a tad bit harsh sometimes but they are giving you the best advice. When you sign in it will guide you step by step of what to do. Not hard at all. So try that and let me know how it goes. I posted about three things on there before and it was all very helpful advice that was given to me. Just like this website, I'm thankful for finding it. Good luck to u. I'm here if you need me.
I feel for you. I understand the agony that you face. I wish I had a mother who tried so much like you and all the mothers here. She wouldn't of had to try so long and much because I would of took her help that she offered. I would of accepted it in a heartbeat with open arms. A lot of addicts don't know how lucky they are to have mom's as wonderful as you mom's are. I wish we could trade Moms. Even just to trade for a day.
If you ever need someone to put they're head with yours to help you come up with an idea or seeing something at a different point of view, I'm here for you. Also , A/V I is a website for only legal advice of every kind of legal question you have. If it's business, real estate, family law, divorce, immigration, fraudulent. You understand. Go there, sign in then post your question about what's the best way to go about your son and daughter. The advice you get is from nothing but attorneys and lawyers. So it will be nothing but honest
The only thing is it may be a little blunt or even a tad bit harsh sometimes but they are giving you the best advice. When you sign in it will guide you step by step of what to do. Not hard at all. So try that and let me know how it goes. I posted about three things on there before and it was all very helpful advice that was given to me. Just like this website, I'm thankful for finding it. Good luck to u. I'm here if you need me.
