My name is Annie. Fifteen yrs ago I started having severe anxiety, panic attacks. I was put on Klonopin. I've been on them since. I take four pills daily. Five yrs ago I had a spinal fusion and was put on Percocet. Two more spinal fusions later, I'm addicted to the Percocet. I can't stop taking either pills.
I'm suffering from deep depression, cannot work because of the pain from the fusions and my mind is just a blur all day long. I have no interests in anything anymore. I want to stop but when I try I get so nervous and panicky and I feel like I'm going to pass out. I need suggestions on anything that can help me. My family knows that I take pain meds but have no idea of the extent.
I want my life back and just don't know how to get there. If anyone can help, please let me know.
Annie
Hey there, i saw your post so i thought i would give you some advice. Go to a treatment center. I did it on Jan. 6th of 2005 and it was honestly the best thing i ever did. Trust me, you will love your life again, really. i was taking 10 (10) Mg percocets a day and i was physically hooked and i finally got tired of it...i was scared for the longest time about getting professional help but when you do decide, you will be very happy you did it....i dont even think about it anymore....
Honey,
i know you are afraid, and feel alone..Know that many have been there.
Since you are on more than one medicine, you need medical supervision to get off...If that first med (Klonopine?) is a benzo...the withdrawal is bad if you go cold turkey...
Can you tell your spouse and look into a rehabilitation place to check into? You will need medical detox to get off...but know...please KNOW it can be done.
There is no shame in the fact that you became addicted...only shame in not doing something about it now that you know...
Read through the threads and see what stories you can identify with..
i strongly but gently urge you to tell your family honey...they love you and would support you through this...they can be your soft place to fall...
Hugs to you,
Ali
i know you are afraid, and feel alone..Know that many have been there.
Since you are on more than one medicine, you need medical supervision to get off...If that first med (Klonopine?) is a benzo...the withdrawal is bad if you go cold turkey...
Can you tell your spouse and look into a rehabilitation place to check into? You will need medical detox to get off...but know...please KNOW it can be done.
There is no shame in the fact that you became addicted...only shame in not doing something about it now that you know...
Read through the threads and see what stories you can identify with..
i strongly but gently urge you to tell your family honey...they love you and would support you through this...they can be your soft place to fall...
Hugs to you,
Ali
How long was the treatment for? Did you have to stay there? I was hoping to be able to get thru this by myself at home without anyone finding out. What did they do to help you?
Thank you for writing.
Annie
Thank you for writing.
Annie
Annie,
I am home tapering, which before now was impossible, but ive had a rebirth of sorts..a new attitude and was just SICK and tired of being chined to my DOC.
i am only on the one pain pill so tapering is much easier...because you have the OTHER pill in your system...your detox can be dangerous...
Can you go to your Dr and tell all??????
there are addiction specialists that can help as well.
I would go to the Dr. that has prescribed these to you ( hoping its the same one and you are not buying from other places...)
If its from the one Dr. admit you are hooked. Part of your brain will say:
"Well if i do that...he wont give me any more down the road..."
EXACTLY...you have to be finished with these. Want off of them more than
anything youve ever wanted.......your Dr should be able to put you on a taper that you can do at home ( if you feel a rehab is not an option)
because you have the benzos in your system...you can NOT juststop...you doi not want a seizure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please see your dr and check back here...so many have been exactly where you are and are happy and helping others do it too...
Hugs to you,
You can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ali
I am home tapering, which before now was impossible, but ive had a rebirth of sorts..a new attitude and was just SICK and tired of being chined to my DOC.
i am only on the one pain pill so tapering is much easier...because you have the OTHER pill in your system...your detox can be dangerous...
Can you go to your Dr and tell all??????
there are addiction specialists that can help as well.
I would go to the Dr. that has prescribed these to you ( hoping its the same one and you are not buying from other places...)
If its from the one Dr. admit you are hooked. Part of your brain will say:
"Well if i do that...he wont give me any more down the road..."
EXACTLY...you have to be finished with these. Want off of them more than
anything youve ever wanted.......your Dr should be able to put you on a taper that you can do at home ( if you feel a rehab is not an option)
because you have the benzos in your system...you can NOT juststop...you doi not want a seizure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please see your dr and check back here...so many have been exactly where you are and are happy and helping others do it too...
Hugs to you,
You can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ali
look, i tried to quit so many times on my own it the truth is, it doesnt work. i mean, when i was physically hooked, i couldnt stop if my life depended on it, really. thats just me though. i was tired and i was ready to stop. i knew once i got by the detox and was physically undependent on then that i would never take any form of opiate again and i havent...last one was jan 6 so i am happy. i was there for 7 days...i detoxed for 3 days and yes it was hell but its well worth it....trust me
Annie
Hello,I know have you are feeling and many others can relate.I was hooked of pers. about 15 a day.for 5 years ..if you are planning on doing this at home theres a over the counter drug list here that could help you through this.I think it has been bumped up already.Check it out if you would like...I dont know about the benzo's though going cold trukey off them.Maybe someone will be alone to tell you the danger in them.There are other things you could consider.i agree you need to tell your family atleast your husband or mother.You need suport even if you make it through the w/ds the mental part come next and it can get really bad.You could also go for rehab,or outpatients rehab useing suboxone.Im on sub.and it has worked very good for me and many others.Keep posting and others will help give you some good advice.take care,crystal
Hello,I know have you are feeling and many others can relate.I was hooked of pers. about 15 a day.for 5 years ..if you are planning on doing this at home theres a over the counter drug list here that could help you through this.I think it has been bumped up already.Check it out if you would like...I dont know about the benzo's though going cold trukey off them.Maybe someone will be alone to tell you the danger in them.There are other things you could consider.i agree you need to tell your family atleast your husband or mother.You need suport even if you make it through the w/ds the mental part come next and it can get really bad.You could also go for rehab,or outpatients rehab useing suboxone.Im on sub.and it has worked very good for me and many others.Keep posting and others will help give you some good advice.take care,crystal
My primary is giving me the Klonopin and my surgeon gives me the Percs. He doesn't ask any questions, just fills my prescription whenever I ask. 100 pills per script. My primary doesn't know this about the surgeon. I also take Fluoxitine for depression
Annie
Annie
well i hate to say this but your surgeon is an a******
Well annie i bumped up the OTC drug list for you.if you are planning on doing this at home on your own that list will help you .Like i said i dont know about the klonpin w/ds be carefully ..i just would try to come off the pers. fisrt.Take care of one at a time ...Keep .Comeing here and keep us posted...crystal
Hi Crystal. Where do I find the info on the OTC drug list?
Thanks
Annie
Thanks
Annie
Hi Chris. Your so right about my surgeon. Its hard enough never mind having someone who writes out scripts without thinking. One time I had taken too many and was running out before the date to have them filled again. I called and what he did was change the script (dosage per day) so that they would fill them that day. I didnt' know that if the script is changed in anyway that they will fill it even if its not time for you to get them filled. Its so hard getting off of these when I get weak and they are so readily available.
I have a question I'm hoping that someone will know what I'm talking about.
I have to take laxatives at least every other day. Is this common for people who are addicted to Percs?
Annie
I have to take laxatives at least every other day. Is this common for people who are addicted to Percs?
Annie
Hi Annie
Welcome to the board. I don't know if it is common for people to take laxatives, but taking narcotics does slow down the gut (parastalis). This can result in the need to take laxatives. Once you quit the narcotics, the opposite is more than likely to occur. Once again welcome to the board! Hang in there.
michelle
Welcome to the board. I don't know if it is common for people to take laxatives, but taking narcotics does slow down the gut (parastalis). This can result in the need to take laxatives. Once you quit the narcotics, the opposite is more than likely to occur. Once again welcome to the board! Hang in there.
michelle
Thank you Michelle. It is now two hours since I took my first Perc this morning. I should be reaching for the bottle right now but I'm trying so hard not to. It would make it easier for me to flush them down the toilet but i can't bring myself to do so. I'm going to take this one hour at a time. Wish me luck everyone.
Annie
Annie
Annie
When you are ready to quit, get some imodium. Just a suggestion.
When you are ready to quit, get some imodium. Just a suggestion.
Good luck Annie
I know its hard. I could not have flushed them either, but what I did do, to make sure I did not get anymore when those were gone was confessed to my doctor. I told him everything. It was kind of a liberating experience to tell on myself. Anyway, its going to hard, not doubt about it, but its not impossible. So many here have and are doing it. You can do it too.
Please make sure you discuss a taper program with your doctor in regards to the Klonipin. You can't just stop that. Hang in there Annie, and give me a yell if you need too.
michelle
I know its hard. I could not have flushed them either, but what I did do, to make sure I did not get anymore when those were gone was confessed to my doctor. I told him everything. It was kind of a liberating experience to tell on myself. Anyway, its going to hard, not doubt about it, but its not impossible. So many here have and are doing it. You can do it too.
Please make sure you discuss a taper program with your doctor in regards to the Klonipin. You can't just stop that. Hang in there Annie, and give me a yell if you need too.
michelle
Good morning Annie,
Glad to see you found this place, it can be a big help thru w/d's and and recovery..
Believe me it is hard, but you canget thru it. I was on methadone for chronic pain, let me tell yea, the laxitives did not work for me.I would have to give myself an enama, I hated it, but yet I hated the feeling of being bloated all the time. Narc's make you very constipated..Once I started going on my own I was sooooooo happy.LOL
I tell ya, it is easier to let someone close to you know that you are going to stop taking your pills so that when you are feeling really bad and crying they can be of help to you.
Take lots of hot bathes, eat healthy and drink lots of liquids..I went the herbal way , just wish had started on my first day instead of 4th, but I made it thru it..
Hang in there, you canget thru the w/d's but I would highly talk to someone..maybe your dr to start.
Traci
Glad to see you found this place, it can be a big help thru w/d's and and recovery..
Believe me it is hard, but you canget thru it. I was on methadone for chronic pain, let me tell yea, the laxitives did not work for me.I would have to give myself an enama, I hated it, but yet I hated the feeling of being bloated all the time. Narc's make you very constipated..Once I started going on my own I was sooooooo happy.LOL
I tell ya, it is easier to let someone close to you know that you are going to stop taking your pills so that when you are feeling really bad and crying they can be of help to you.
Take lots of hot bathes, eat healthy and drink lots of liquids..I went the herbal way , just wish had started on my first day instead of 4th, but I made it thru it..
Hang in there, you canget thru the w/d's but I would highly talk to someone..maybe your dr to start.
Traci
Oh Annie,
I just read your other thread, man do I know how you feel. I was on methadone for a year and half and before that vico's for about 3 years for my back pain.
I realized there was a problem when I just wanted to stay home and do nothing. I was always a go getter, but found myself not caring about anything or anyone. I so hate myself for the finacial situation I have gotten us into becuz I just didn't care, I would go and buy things to make me feel better, which in turn they didn't,
I have been off the meth for 2 months now, but I find myself having anxity issues at just the thought of trying to mend what I screwed up on. I have taken baby steps, but then I find myself crawling back into my space as embarrassment to admit what I have done...I so hate it.
I do find I laugh alot more, and am out of the house alot more now being invloved with family and friends, so I know things are getting better...it just takes time.;
When I went to my dr. I was thinking of asking for an Ad but then I thought that it might just cover up what needs to be dealt with..I am one that has a hard time admitted I screwed up, but then again admitted I was addicted or dependant on my meds was a big step to take...
I take valerium to help me sleep at night so my brain doesn't talk to much, but then last night I got overwhelmed and didn't sleep worth crap, knowing Monday is coming and I need to take care of some other finacial sh*8 I got us into...man the crap we get ourselves into due to pills...and to think that they were there to help us with our pain, instead seems to have caused more pain then we started with.
It is nice to know that I am working on taking my life back, I am not saying it is easy ( cuz it isn't) but I am trying...and you can too.so hang in there
I just read your other thread, man do I know how you feel. I was on methadone for a year and half and before that vico's for about 3 years for my back pain.
I realized there was a problem when I just wanted to stay home and do nothing. I was always a go getter, but found myself not caring about anything or anyone. I so hate myself for the finacial situation I have gotten us into becuz I just didn't care, I would go and buy things to make me feel better, which in turn they didn't,
I have been off the meth for 2 months now, but I find myself having anxity issues at just the thought of trying to mend what I screwed up on. I have taken baby steps, but then I find myself crawling back into my space as embarrassment to admit what I have done...I so hate it.
I do find I laugh alot more, and am out of the house alot more now being invloved with family and friends, so I know things are getting better...it just takes time.;
When I went to my dr. I was thinking of asking for an Ad but then I thought that it might just cover up what needs to be dealt with..I am one that has a hard time admitted I screwed up, but then again admitted I was addicted or dependant on my meds was a big step to take...
I take valerium to help me sleep at night so my brain doesn't talk to much, but then last night I got overwhelmed and didn't sleep worth crap, knowing Monday is coming and I need to take care of some other finacial sh*8 I got us into...man the crap we get ourselves into due to pills...and to think that they were there to help us with our pain, instead seems to have caused more pain then we started with.
It is nice to know that I am working on taking my life back, I am not saying it is easy ( cuz it isn't) but I am trying...and you can too.so hang in there
Hi Ann-ie,
I too wanted to kick on my own so that nobody'd be the wiser. My plan was to go to Florida,(pretending to be on a motorcycle trip), run out of pain killers when I got there, de-tox there, and then drive the 1000 mi. back north...a new person!
Didn't quite work the way I had -planned. The de-tox from oxys was the worst experience of my life. 3 days in a Gainesville motel room all alone , sick, puking, afraid to death. I drove 2 sraight days back home and begged my dealer for pills....
On my own, I am lost. I can't seem to quit anything! When I finally put my hand up in an AA meeting and got honest with everyone, I started to get better. Help was all around me and I just needed enough humility to ask for it. I went on suboxone...and now I'm 2 weeks off that. I feel my life is coming back together...and yours can too!
Keep sharing your story and you will find the answers you need.
God Bless!
I too wanted to kick on my own so that nobody'd be the wiser. My plan was to go to Florida,(pretending to be on a motorcycle trip), run out of pain killers when I got there, de-tox there, and then drive the 1000 mi. back north...a new person!
Didn't quite work the way I had -planned. The de-tox from oxys was the worst experience of my life. 3 days in a Gainesville motel room all alone , sick, puking, afraid to death. I drove 2 sraight days back home and begged my dealer for pills....
On my own, I am lost. I can't seem to quit anything! When I finally put my hand up in an AA meeting and got honest with everyone, I started to get better. Help was all around me and I just needed enough humility to ask for it. I went on suboxone...and now I'm 2 weeks off that. I feel my life is coming back together...and yours can too!
Keep sharing your story and you will find the answers you need.
God Bless!
