Hi my name is Judi. I feel hopeless. I'm in a relationship with a sex addict and can't get out. I've even gone from being the primary mate(then he left me) to the other woman (initiated by me) with the same man and continue to forgive him - everything.Help
Judi, you said you "can't get out. The truth is you can, you choose to stay. Unless your man gets some good therapy, your life is going to forever be the same roller coaster of emotions that it's been your entire relationship. Does he acknowledge the fact that he's a sex addict? That's the first huge step. He's got to want to change the behavior. It's a long hard road to go down. My best friend has been dealing with a sex addiction problem with her husband for most of this year. I've lived through it with her and it's been devastating. Her therapist has advised her to get into a 12 step support group like Alanon but for sex addicts. Maybe you should start there.
The sex addict I'm with (by the way I'm one myself-alcohol/drugs) does not acknowlege any problem (although I do sense unhappiness and shame at times from him). Being familiar with AA/NA I know must help but I'm having a hard time I guess with being "on the other side" of addiction and applying what I've learned. I do want to acknowledge however, that recieving just that one reply this morning, that someone actually cared enough to do it, has already given me just a little bit of much needed strength- Thank you
judi
i myself use to be a sex addict. i thought that because i could control people with my body that made me powerful and in control, when in fact i felt horrible. i participated in sex act only for money i thought that because i got paid for what i did it wasnt that big a problem but in time not only did i become addicted to the act itself but i became addicted to money and drugs. it is about self respect and esteem you see i had none of those. your problem is that you feel that i f you keep doing these things he will eventually realize how much you love him and change. well i got news for you sweet he wont ,for you see he doesnt love himself how can he love you. get out now before he gets you into something that you cant get out of. thereis acure for love but the only cure for hiv is death
i myself use to be a sex addict. i thought that because i could control people with my body that made me powerful and in control, when in fact i felt horrible. i participated in sex act only for money i thought that because i got paid for what i did it wasnt that big a problem but in time not only did i become addicted to the act itself but i became addicted to money and drugs. it is about self respect and esteem you see i had none of those. your problem is that you feel that i f you keep doing these things he will eventually realize how much you love him and change. well i got news for you sweet he wont ,for you see he doesnt love himself how can he love you. get out now before he gets you into something that you cant get out of. thereis acure for love but the only cure for hiv is death
I'm crying as I write this because I'm forcing myself to read the words in these postings, words that I've always thought would kill me, rob me of what I know is my only chance for happiness -this relationship. As they say the truth hurts (in my mind kills) but in my head, somewhere far far away, I know that not to be the case. But you're right there is nothing romantic in dying for your love, who is a sick, sex crazed, terribly unhappy person, but I'm afraid I may be to late - I'm having some tests done thursday. I know it sounds wierd but I feel something like "love" (I'm not sure I know what that feels like by the way) for you people who are taking the time to help, God Bless....Judi