Have any of you got any advice, I've been reading your postings and they sound so positive. A guy I've been out with has been using for years, I met him a year ago and he'd been clean for 3 months he then cut contact with me, only to renew it 6 months later, he'd been using again and had come off it for about a month when he got back in touh me with me, the pattern has repeated a few times so I've never seen him at the times when he's actually on heroin until last weekend I bumped into him, it's the first time I've ever seen anyone on heroin, I couldn't belive the state on him, he was so thin, unshaved and generally a mes, he wouldn't look at me which was actually a relief because it was all I could do to hold back the tears and I wasn't doing a very good job of it. Anyway I still care about him and I would really like to help him, I know I won't hear from him for a while but what I'd really like to know is what helped you, what did you want the people around you to do, he's told me his family nag him so I don't want him to think I'm doing that but if there's any advice you can give me I would really appreciate it.
I can admit now that i was totally a mess while using but i did not see it in fact it was quite the oppisite for me i was verry cocky but could not see what i was really looking like. When using i was verry thin i liked it but now i realize how un healthy i was. The first time i really realize how i looked was when i saw my first mug shot it was horriable!
The truth is that we cant see it while using and if we can we dont care! There is only one thing that matters to us and that is our drug of choice.
It's verry sad really and i have a brother that is also addicted and after i got clean it was so hard for me to see him going down that path, it completly screwed my life up, but i think the most imoprtant thing for you to do is when he does come back around do not judge let him know you are willing to listen and try to understand what he is going through. encorage him to get help i know how hard it is but my friends that do not use they just listened when i woul relapse and just let me know they were there theres not much more you can do right now he will not stop untill he really wants to. Take care -Mia
The truth is that we cant see it while using and if we can we dont care! There is only one thing that matters to us and that is our drug of choice.
It's verry sad really and i have a brother that is also addicted and after i got clean it was so hard for me to see him going down that path, it completly screwed my life up, but i think the most imoprtant thing for you to do is when he does come back around do not judge let him know you are willing to listen and try to understand what he is going through. encorage him to get help i know how hard it is but my friends that do not use they just listened when i woul relapse and just let me know they were there theres not much more you can do right now he will not stop untill he really wants to. Take care -Mia
HI,I JUST READ YOUR MESSAGE AND PERSONALLY I'VE BEEN TAKING HERION FOR 5/6YRS.AT THE START AND STILL NOW IM ASHAMED OF MASEL AND DONT LIKE THE PEOPLE I LOVE AND CARE ABOUT KNOWING OR SPECIALLY SEEING ME WHEN IM ON IT..YOUR ON OFF PARTNER WILL MOST PROBABALLY FEEL THE SAME AND YOU OBVIOUSLY CARE BOUT HIM OR YOU WOULDNT BE ON THIS SITE ASKING FOR ADVISE YEA.I FINK IT'S GOOD YOUR TRYING TO EDUCATE YOURSELF ABOUT IT MOST PEOPLE DONT GIVE A SH*T,THERE IGNORANT TO IT AND WOULD RATHER KEEP IT THAT WAY, THAN TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHY AND WHAT??THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO FOR HIM IS TO BE THERE AND TO LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU ARE THERE FOR IF AND WHEN HE NEEDS YOU.IF YOU TELL HIM THAT YOU'VE BEEN READING UP ON THE POWER OF ADDICTION AND YOUR THERE IF HE NEEDS TO TALK OR NEEDS SUPPORT.IM SURE HE WILL APPRECIATE IT.
COS BELIVE ME ITS A LONG LONLEY SAD EXISTANCE TAKING HERION
YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS YOU CANT TRUST ANYONE AND YOUR SELF ESTEAM IS AT ROCK BOTTOM.TO SUM IT UP YOUR NOT IN CONTROL OF YOUR DRUG PROBLEM ITS IN CONTROL OF YOU.IT SUPPRESS'S YOUR EMOTIONS AND YOUR FEELINGS,MOOD SWINGS WHEN YOUR ON IT ONE MINUTE YOUR UP NEXT YOUR DOWN.ITS THE HARDEST MOST POWERFULL THING IVE EVA HAD TO DEAL WIF IN MA LIFE!! I WISH YOU AND YOUR FRIEND ALL THE BEST AND HOPFULLY YOU WILL BE ABLE TO TALK TO AND SUPPORT HIM IF AND WHEN HE'S READY TO BE HELP'D
YOUR OBVIOUSLY A GOOD FRIEND DONT GIVE UP ON HIM COS THE REALITY OF IT IS EVERYONE ELSE PROBLLY HAS,HE'S PROBLLY GAVE UP ON HIMSELF AND THATS WHY HE'S BACK ON IT.TO KNOW SOMEONE'S THERE FOR YOU IS A GOOD FEELING SPECIALLY WHEN YOUR DOWN ON YOURSELF,I HOPE I'VE HELPED YOU A LITTLE EVEN AND I THINK YOU SHOULD SPEAK TO HIM NEXT TIME YOU SEE HIM.GOD BLESS....NAD
COS BELIVE ME ITS A LONG LONLEY SAD EXISTANCE TAKING HERION
YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS YOU CANT TRUST ANYONE AND YOUR SELF ESTEAM IS AT ROCK BOTTOM.TO SUM IT UP YOUR NOT IN CONTROL OF YOUR DRUG PROBLEM ITS IN CONTROL OF YOU.IT SUPPRESS'S YOUR EMOTIONS AND YOUR FEELINGS,MOOD SWINGS WHEN YOUR ON IT ONE MINUTE YOUR UP NEXT YOUR DOWN.ITS THE HARDEST MOST POWERFULL THING IVE EVA HAD TO DEAL WIF IN MA LIFE!! I WISH YOU AND YOUR FRIEND ALL THE BEST AND HOPFULLY YOU WILL BE ABLE TO TALK TO AND SUPPORT HIM IF AND WHEN HE'S READY TO BE HELP'D
YOUR OBVIOUSLY A GOOD FRIEND DONT GIVE UP ON HIM COS THE REALITY OF IT IS EVERYONE ELSE PROBLLY HAS,HE'S PROBLLY GAVE UP ON HIMSELF AND THATS WHY HE'S BACK ON IT.TO KNOW SOMEONE'S THERE FOR YOU IS A GOOD FEELING SPECIALLY WHEN YOUR DOWN ON YOURSELF,I HOPE I'VE HELPED YOU A LITTLE EVEN AND I THINK YOU SHOULD SPEAK TO HIM NEXT TIME YOU SEE HIM.GOD BLESS....NAD
I think it's awsome you care about this person enough to try to find a way to help. It was very hard for me to have relationships with anyone, family and personal while I was using. Heroin cuts off your emotions and attachments to everything, everyone. No one can MAKE you stop, you have to want to. I lost all my friends getting clean. I think it would be helpful if you let him know your there for him clean or sober to talk to. Also in my case whenever I was nagged and screamed at by my mom, I used more then EVER. I felt no one just talked to me without passing judgement. There is also a family of addicts board on here they may have better answer.
The only time a herion addict can be helped is if he really wants it! I had to die twice and hit rock bottom before i wanted help.Then i went to inpatiant rehab
Bruce B recovering addict..
Bruce B recovering addict..
Thank you very much for taking time to reply to me, it's very much appreciated. I've decided it's too hard and frustrating to just sit back and do nothing so I've printed loads of stuff off the internet on rehab centres and helplines etc so that's all in an envelope for him ready for when he needs it which has given me something active to do. Other than that I'm just going to do what you've suggested, listen to him, be there for him, believe in him, not judge him, definitely not nag him and respect him basically the way all human beings should treat all other human beings.
zerogirl77 - I hope you get your children back, it sounds to me like you definitely deserve to get them back.
Once again thanks very much and good luck to you all.
May God, Jesus, Buddah, Shiva & the Gurus rain blessings on you all!
zerogirl77 - I hope you get your children back, it sounds to me like you definitely deserve to get them back.
Once again thanks very much and good luck to you all.
May God, Jesus, Buddah, Shiva & the Gurus rain blessings on you all!
Hi CR,
Just wanted to pop in and say HI.
I think the advice you have been given is so right! All you can do is tell him you will be there for him when he wants it. I am glad you have info ready for when he needs it!
My hubby also never would like me to see him when he was on his gear. Now he is clean he said he felt ashamed of himself and could the upset in my eyes.
All the best to you and your friend,
crazywife
Just wanted to pop in and say HI.
I think the advice you have been given is so right! All you can do is tell him you will be there for him when he wants it. I am glad you have info ready for when he needs it!
My hubby also never would like me to see him when he was on his gear. Now he is clean he said he felt ashamed of himself and could the upset in my eyes.
All the best to you and your friend,
crazywife
I have been using for 12 years, I am 27 now. I can understand how you must have felt seeing your friend looking so rough, but I must say he is lucky to have someone like you around him who is able to see the real person beneath his scruffy exterior. You sound like a good mate. When you use heroin you ten dto stay clear of real friends because you are so wrapped up the world of using. Even when you are not actually using you are either trying to find money for ir or score it, it is a never ending circle. You are doing the only thing you can do for your friend - be there for him. In the long run he will do what he knows he needs to do, but he will only do it when he is really ready. Keep up the good work. Best wishes to you and your friend.
