Hello all,
Disclaimer: if you're new to suboxone treatment, you might not want to read this, as it may give you ideas counter to your goal of sobriety.
So like many others, I started shooting junk and a year later my life was in shambles. Tried to quit unsuccessfully a few times, only to relapse. Finally I found suboxone, and it basically saved me. I racked up a year of clean time like it was nothing.
Then, my gf (who was still using) began to ask for bits of suboxone, explaining that it "kills withdrawals" and makes using junk about as disruptive as pot.
Well here I am, a couple months later, and that's basically what I do. When I feel like it, I use. When I'm done, I go back of the subox like it never happened. Basically, the treatment turns heroin from a life altering drug to a drug like alcohol -- a hangover is a pain, but it's not that bad.
So basically, what do I do? How bad is what I'm doing? How can I get back to what I used to do?.
Thanks!
Are you kidding me? How bad is what im doing, well you know the answer to that yourself or you wouldnt even be here. Are you looking for someone to tell you its fine off you go and enjoy yourself or to tell you what you already know to be true, that you are an active addict. You are not in recovery your easy year of sobriety has long passed and you need to start again from scratch. Maybe living or dating someone who is still using isnt helping either of you right now. I'm sorry for being so blunt but this is not a game its your life mate. I hope you stick around this place saved me. If you ask for the truth then thats what you'll get and if ask for help, understanding and friendship you can be sure you'll find it here. Welcome to the board i hope you stick around. Best wishes Kitteekatt.
Thanks for your response. No I'm not looking for you to make me feel better. You also have to understand that I'm not much for AA style recovery. According to AA, smoking pot also makes me an active addict, as does drinking beer, and I do both those things frequently and with moderation.
My question is more philosophical than practical. The reason heroin ruined my life and weed didn't is because Its super addictive, and you end up spending all your time, money and energy on smack.
Well, in the past few months, I've done heroin two or three times. So obviously the addictive pattern is gone, because I have these little miracle pills that help me kick it with alarming speed.
So is it an addiction if I do it once a month? There are other reasons I don't care for heroin, like the ugly marks it makes on your arms. But how the hell do I quit something that's not causing real problems? That was the motivation the first time I quit.
Thanks for your help!
My question is more philosophical than practical. The reason heroin ruined my life and weed didn't is because Its super addictive, and you end up spending all your time, money and energy on smack.
Well, in the past few months, I've done heroin two or three times. So obviously the addictive pattern is gone, because I have these little miracle pills that help me kick it with alarming speed.
So is it an addiction if I do it once a month? There are other reasons I don't care for heroin, like the ugly marks it makes on your arms. But how the hell do I quit something that's not causing real problems? That was the motivation the first time I quit.
Thanks for your help!
Not sure where you are getting your subs, but you'd be providing random UAs for an addiction specialist or other doc, though I suppose you could time things accordingly since H has such a short life in the body.
It doesn't really sound like you want advice or recovery because it doesn't sound like you think there's a problem, though you are clearly someone who likes to use mind-altering substances....sounds like your goal is be a chipper and recreational user. Not trying to drive you off, just curious about why you'd come to a recovery site....you must know what you'd hear.
Looks like your life was not in enough of a 'shambles' to give it up.
Peace ~ MomNMore
It doesn't really sound like you want advice or recovery because it doesn't sound like you think there's a problem, though you are clearly someone who likes to use mind-altering substances....sounds like your goal is be a chipper and recreational user. Not trying to drive you off, just curious about why you'd come to a recovery site....you must know what you'd hear.
Looks like your life was not in enough of a 'shambles' to give it up.
Peace ~ MomNMore
" I'M NOT ADDICTED" ----- "HOW DO I QUIT?" NUFF SAID. I'm not in to the AA style of things either, but it helps thousands of people. Different strokes for different folks i guess. You done such an amazing thing being clean for a year, thats epic mate and you totally have my admiration for that. Why jepordize that its a slippery slope as you no doubt know as well as any of us and you need to make a choice. Best wishes mate Kitteekatt x
Jack, what's your opinion on this? Interested in your view. MFV.
You haven't been clean a year.The state of being clean and sober is not ambiguous.It's not a philosophical conundrum or a multiple choice question.It is what it is.
I'll simply reiterate what Mom asked.What are your expectations of a recovery site?Your not the AA kind of guy so what kind of guy are you?I'll tell you what kind of guy I was.I was a junkie and when I thought I had hit my bottom the first hundred times I asked the same questions.I wanted a reprieve but on my terms.Life isn't like that and when you are ready to get sober,you will go to any length.That means a release of any mind altering chemicals.You then will realize that it's never had to do with substances anyway.It's had to do with that empty hole you keep trying to fill.
I'll simply reiterate what Mom asked.What are your expectations of a recovery site?Your not the AA kind of guy so what kind of guy are you?I'll tell you what kind of guy I was.I was a junkie and when I thought I had hit my bottom the first hundred times I asked the same questions.I wanted a reprieve but on my terms.Life isn't like that and when you are ready to get sober,you will go to any length.That means a release of any mind altering chemicals.You then will realize that it's never had to do with substances anyway.It's had to do with that empty hole you keep trying to fill.
I always ask myself: If the opportunity arose to go live in the jungles of Costa Rica in some neat house, could I just pack my toothbrush and go without taking any mind altering chemicals along? Just live off the land and drink water kinda thing.
If the answer is no, then I'm addicted. I'm an addict.
Sounds like you'd have to bring a duffle bag of s*** or you'd have to just stay home.
Personally, I HATE being addicted to anything!
But, since I'm an addict, that has never stopped me from getting addicted. I can't count the times I've been addicted to something or other in the last forty years.
Heck, I'm just now less than a month out from my recent addiction to Heroin.
I see you reaching out for help here. But some of the answers have to come from within you.
Holy Jesus, dude! Pot, Alcohol, Suboxone, Heroin.
You only go around once in life. Each day gone is gone forever. Seems to me you might ought to rethink your life's direction.
Play the tape out, man. Where are you going?
You're story scares the s*** out of me!
Mark, an addict in recovery.
If the answer is no, then I'm addicted. I'm an addict.
Sounds like you'd have to bring a duffle bag of s*** or you'd have to just stay home.
Personally, I HATE being addicted to anything!
But, since I'm an addict, that has never stopped me from getting addicted. I can't count the times I've been addicted to something or other in the last forty years.
Heck, I'm just now less than a month out from my recent addiction to Heroin.
I see you reaching out for help here. But some of the answers have to come from within you.
Holy Jesus, dude! Pot, Alcohol, Suboxone, Heroin.
You only go around once in life. Each day gone is gone forever. Seems to me you might ought to rethink your life's direction.
Play the tape out, man. Where are you going?
You're story scares the s*** out of me!
Mark, an addict in recovery.
Anyone know of a site where you dont need a degree in the English language or whatever to work out what the f**** getting said......
Without getting into a whole rant at 4 am - Ill just say I go with Tim and Mom,s response until I wake up a bit and can think for my self a bit- - Although I think it will just be a variation of the two- -
seeyalater
jack
Eck- I gotta tell ya, sometimes when I read you folks from GB or the Isles write- it could be Chinese- -But I can usually figure it out. Funny how the same language can be so different sometimes
seeyalater
jack
Eck- I gotta tell ya, sometimes when I read you folks from GB or the Isles write- it could be Chinese- -But I can usually figure it out. Funny how the same language can be so different sometimes
Aye,yes your right Jack..
We,I,write the way i,m thinking usually and 9/10 it gets written down in slang,not giving a thought for those that might read it.
The best thing i can do though is stay back from this and other sites when i,m agitated as i am now and seem to have been since my return from Germany about a fortnight ago so i,ll say Auf-Weidersen until i am in a more sociable mood or until i,m willing to share whats bothering me.Eck
We,I,write the way i,m thinking usually and 9/10 it gets written down in slang,not giving a thought for those that might read it.
The best thing i can do though is stay back from this and other sites when i,m agitated as i am now and seem to have been since my return from Germany about a fortnight ago so i,ll say Auf-Weidersen until i am in a more sociable mood or until i,m willing to share whats bothering me.Eck
Back in 2008 i wanted clean on my terms. Only smack, that's all i had a problem with. How wrong i was. I'm an addict, plain and simple. I don't do drugs today. None. Just because i didn't have an addiction to pot, doesn't mean i'm going to try to use it recreationally. It'll lead me back to smack.
If you're not honest with yourself, it may lead you back to smack. Permenantly.
I hope you find recovery i really do. This isn't about smack or pot, it's addiction....
Keep posting, you're in the right place.
If you're not honest with yourself, it may lead you back to smack. Permenantly.
I hope you find recovery i really do. This isn't about smack or pot, it's addiction....
Keep posting, you're in the right place.
Eckie-When I am agitated,it's usually a sign that indeed it's a message to pay heed to.I think it would be cathartic to "let it out".There certainly isn't anything you could say that I haven't heard before and raging here might be more appropriate than "out there".
It doesn't matter what dialect you use.I think the message will be heard regardless.
It doesn't matter what dialect you use.I think the message will be heard regardless.
What started my agitation is the fact that i broke a mirror on my coach just b4 Calais france,that was the start but it doesnt seem to be getting any better...
This wont me sound like a very nice person but the fact is that i can feel in my bones the need or want to lash out,what scares me is the fact that i have never felt like this for a very long time.
I also feel like leaving my home and going somewhere else for a while though 1-i cant afford too....2-I have too much responsibilities here with they need to stay on top of my morgages etc...3-My kids ,,,they are probably the main reasons apart from getting to old to be irresponsible,they need me around,lately during the summer hols and before i,ve had one or both staying overnight with me which i enjoy.
So the best thing i can do for now is stay well away from any form of ...confrontation or i will either find myself getting locked up for a long time or getting badly hurt..
Anyway,thats as much as i,m willing to share at the moment,,oh and this.the last wee while i have been walking into things,bumping or banging things etc,so last night i went on the net and put my symptoms in to see if there were any answers to this..Apart from a few things i didnt really understand i,ve decided to make an appointment with my Dr as it is really starting to bother me....At 1st i thought i was ..being clumsy but i,m affraid its more than this,,,thanks fr listening..Eck.
This wont me sound like a very nice person but the fact is that i can feel in my bones the need or want to lash out,what scares me is the fact that i have never felt like this for a very long time.
I also feel like leaving my home and going somewhere else for a while though 1-i cant afford too....2-I have too much responsibilities here with they need to stay on top of my morgages etc...3-My kids ,,,they are probably the main reasons apart from getting to old to be irresponsible,they need me around,lately during the summer hols and before i,ve had one or both staying overnight with me which i enjoy.
So the best thing i can do for now is stay well away from any form of ...confrontation or i will either find myself getting locked up for a long time or getting badly hurt..
Anyway,thats as much as i,m willing to share at the moment,,oh and this.the last wee while i have been walking into things,bumping or banging things etc,so last night i went on the net and put my symptoms in to see if there were any answers to this..Apart from a few things i didnt really understand i,ve decided to make an appointment with my Dr as it is really starting to bother me....At 1st i thought i was ..being clumsy but i,m affraid its more than this,,,thanks fr listening..Eck.
