Hi, not been on here for a while as i thought my brother had actually sorted his life out, but oh no its only getting worse i dont know where to turn to for help and support, i try and talk with my parents about my brothers addiction but i feel i cant do right for doing wrong, they think im over reacting and he will be fine but the thing is i know it wont be fine, and that hes only getting worse every day.
I caught him once again scoring, i only went to my mums to drop a dvd off for them to watch, i got to the street and i spotted the dealers car with my brother who suddenly ducked down to hide so i wouldnt see him, but i did see him, i dont miss a trick when it comes to him, a bit of a controdiction there as i missed the fact of him ever doing heroin, i know he dont want to come off it and that he loves the feeling it gives you, i almost wanna try it and see why everyone always raves on about it,thats a lie i wouldnt never do it and wouldnt never even consider taking it.
Will he ever want to come off it and lead a normal healthy life? that question runs through my head all the time, the other question is why is he doing this to himself its abuse, its sickening to think of that s*** in the body rotting away at vital organs and f***ing up the whole immune system, its bad enough smoking fags with the s*** that goes in you, but heroin thats pure filth, i dont think u can get any lower than that, im sorry if people who are users are reading this and probably thinking shut up u fool u dont know nothing, and perhaps ur so right,, but why is all i ask??????
haia
i feel for you going through this wiyh your brother ,i have two brothers one is 23 and has major insecurites and is to shy to even go in a shop and get some bacci ,so my mam has done every thing for him ,he threatens suicide eveyy other week,he wont tke the help that is offered ,my other bropther takes every drug apart from heroin and treats my parents like s*** and still they do what they can for him,but i suppose i am in no position to say anything cos i am a heroin addict my self but they dont know of my addiction ,i know we heroin users are so selfish,you wont st5op him nothing will until he wants it,look at me i have two lvely girls ive just tucked into bed and what am i doing now??????????having a hit of course ,and yes it does make me feel like a right twat buat do stop NO .NO.NO,dont
julie
i feel for you going through this wiyh your brother ,i have two brothers one is 23 and has major insecurites and is to shy to even go in a shop and get some bacci ,so my mam has done every thing for him ,he threatens suicide eveyy other week,he wont tke the help that is offered ,my other bropther takes every drug apart from heroin and treats my parents like s*** and still they do what they can for him,but i suppose i am in no position to say anything cos i am a heroin addict my self but they dont know of my addiction ,i know we heroin users are so selfish,you wont st5op him nothing will until he wants it,look at me i have two lvely girls ive just tucked into bed and what am i doing now??????????having a hit of course ,and yes it does make me feel like a right twat buat do stop NO .NO.NO,dont
julie
Thanks for your honesty julie, why tho, u obviously have 2 gorgeous little girls what life will they have with a mother on heroin, none what so ever, sorry for being harsh but i would rather be honest like u have just been, answer me this how would u feel if u died and your children came down to find u dead one morning, please think of ur children in all this,, ur probably a great mum and a lovely person so why choose this drug over a great life, we only have 1 life so why are so many people f***ing there lives up, i dont get it, u should grab life with both hands and treat it presious, ur a long time dead, why waste ur time here with this evil thing hanging over you.
Correct me if im wrong it is pure evil, how many peopledo u know on it and have died leaving kids,family loved ones behind for there selfish addiction, i know of loads, wat a waste of human life, bet ur mum would be deverstated if she knew, and so would ur kids, and how would u feel when ur kids are older and come home on heroin, would u do the right thing and advice them to get out before its too late or would u cook up the gear with them?
Correct me if im wrong it is pure evil, how many peopledo u know on it and have died leaving kids,family loved ones behind for there selfish addiction, i know of loads, wat a waste of human life, bet ur mum would be deverstated if she knew, and so would ur kids, and how would u feel when ur kids are older and come home on heroin, would u do the right thing and advice them to get out before its too late or would u cook up the gear with them?
If my kids decide to use I'm going to cook up for them. I'm going to take them to the dealers with the best dope too. THEN no s*it I'll have them all working the street and I'll be the pimp. That way it's all in the family and I make the money.
I'm going to teach them the correct way to bust into a suburban home and time them as they steal all the electronics.
Yeah, that's how we do.
It's a damn addiction. NOBODY NOBODY NOBODY says I want to grow up to be a junkie. Oh, I would love to be a heroin addict when I get big.
Your brother tried it. Liked it. Loved it. He ain't ready to quit. You can't make him quit or nag him into quitting. He ducked because you're getting on his nerves. Leave him alone. If he wants to beat it or at least try he will.
People here who are heroin addicts are not lousy, no good for nothing awful parents or siblings or husbands or wives. DO NOT TRY IT TO SEE WHAT THE ATTRACTION IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take the time to have some empathy for God's sake.
I gotta go forsake my family now and get my dope and continue to be the piece of s*it I have always been. Gotta pay the dealer out of the money I stole off some old lady I mugged today. Your brother is a real crumb. Probably born that way. Something your family did i bet!
I'm going to teach them the correct way to bust into a suburban home and time them as they steal all the electronics.
Yeah, that's how we do.
It's a damn addiction. NOBODY NOBODY NOBODY says I want to grow up to be a junkie. Oh, I would love to be a heroin addict when I get big.
Your brother tried it. Liked it. Loved it. He ain't ready to quit. You can't make him quit or nag him into quitting. He ducked because you're getting on his nerves. Leave him alone. If he wants to beat it or at least try he will.
People here who are heroin addicts are not lousy, no good for nothing awful parents or siblings or husbands or wives. DO NOT TRY IT TO SEE WHAT THE ATTRACTION IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take the time to have some empathy for God's sake.
I gotta go forsake my family now and get my dope and continue to be the piece of s*it I have always been. Gotta pay the dealer out of the money I stole off some old lady I mugged today. Your brother is a real crumb. Probably born that way. Something your family did i bet!
Why? that is the million dollar question. My advice "from experience" is don't let his actions control you. He chose to use! he has to chose to stop!. You can't want or love or will him into getting clean. UNTILL he wants it everything will only get worse. DON'T STOP HIS FALL. He won't stop untill he has hit a bottom. If you or the family bail him outta jail feed him let him feed off your emotions he won't get better. My brothers a active addict i'm nearly 2 years clean. I know my brother keeps using because he don't ever have to fall our MOTHER babies him brings him money & food because she scared chitless he'll kill himself. He started using before i did in a way his using DID lead to my using..like you i wanted to know how good can it be?. I got the answer it cost me everything to find out...it was NOT worth it. I walked away a wiser person thou. I lost my kids, my house, my self respect, nearly my arm. There is a families of addicts board on here i'm sure you'll get better advice and support there.
Good post Hero Girl......you sound good dahlink....how's the baby boy?
Shell, your frustration, hurt, anger, and fear is all understanable.
As Hero Girl said Friends?Families will be a good place for you to get lots of support. They are wonderful people.
I wrote that post above Zero Girls.....it's like this......do you honestly think we started doing heroin and planned to hurt our loved ones......do you think our guilt is not over flowing.......do you even think for one second even high we didn't worry our kids would find us dead or our parents would find us or husbands or wives?
If you read these threads you can get some insight, and yes you were being honest. That's great but so have we been honest. We can't speak for your brother. Of course if God forbid our kids become heroin addicts we ain't going to cook up with them. We'd try to help them, BUT we all know ultimately it would come down to them wanting to stop.
Shel, in active addiction we agonize, we cry, we want OUT! It don't work that way. It gets a hold on you like nothing you'd EVER understand unless ya been there.
Don't try it. Like Zero Girl said look what happened to her. That lady is a strong, honest, hard fighting lady, AND a superb mother. She does the right thing every single day.
Sorry but I took offense and I realize you can't understand the pull, and the daily havoc it plays on us, but just like every other human being on earth we certainly do NOT want any of those things you said to her. She was trying to help. Yeah ADDICTS "HERE" if ya meant on this site as "HERE" well she's here to seek new ideas, new ways anything that can help her somehow. Nobody here is EVIL. None of us. We're considerate, compassionate people that at the drop of one post that says HELP we all jump in.
I am so sorry your brother is in it but it's HIS thing. As tough as that is I know for you to see and live with he has to want it. He needs to want to beat it and get better.
Shell, your frustration, hurt, anger, and fear is all understanable.
As Hero Girl said Friends?Families will be a good place for you to get lots of support. They are wonderful people.
I wrote that post above Zero Girls.....it's like this......do you honestly think we started doing heroin and planned to hurt our loved ones......do you think our guilt is not over flowing.......do you even think for one second even high we didn't worry our kids would find us dead or our parents would find us or husbands or wives?
If you read these threads you can get some insight, and yes you were being honest. That's great but so have we been honest. We can't speak for your brother. Of course if God forbid our kids become heroin addicts we ain't going to cook up with them. We'd try to help them, BUT we all know ultimately it would come down to them wanting to stop.
Shel, in active addiction we agonize, we cry, we want OUT! It don't work that way. It gets a hold on you like nothing you'd EVER understand unless ya been there.
Don't try it. Like Zero Girl said look what happened to her. That lady is a strong, honest, hard fighting lady, AND a superb mother. She does the right thing every single day.
Sorry but I took offense and I realize you can't understand the pull, and the daily havoc it plays on us, but just like every other human being on earth we certainly do NOT want any of those things you said to her. She was trying to help. Yeah ADDICTS "HERE" if ya meant on this site as "HERE" well she's here to seek new ideas, new ways anything that can help her somehow. Nobody here is EVIL. None of us. We're considerate, compassionate people that at the drop of one post that says HELP we all jump in.
I am so sorry your brother is in it but it's HIS thing. As tough as that is I know for you to see and live with he has to want it. He needs to want to beat it and get better.
hello
shell,i think of every thing you said every day,you cannot make me feel any more of a twat than i do already.
j
shell,i think of every thing you said every day,you cannot make me feel any more of a twat than i do already.
j
Serene, You are not a twat.
You're here and I think every single time you come check in here you're hoping and you're going to get it one of these days.
You're here and I think every single time you come check in here you're hoping and you're going to get it one of these days.
HEROIN ADDICTION IS AN ILLNESS...
Heroin addicts are not idiots, twats, ***** or whatever derogatry (Spellcheck please) term you wanna use or label addicts with, I truly believe heroin addicts do not choose to take heroin it chooses them, by default.
Of course there are options and addicts are not physically forced to go and score, but mentally they are forced and later they'll suffer physically if they don't. Am I making sense??....I got myself kinda mixed up here(!!)
Would you say that an asthma sufferer was a twat for using an inhaler ? No. They need it or they will have an asthma attack..asthma is an illness an inhaler helps it.
Heroin addiction is an illness and heroin is the medicine that addicts need to make them better....
If giving up the gear was that easy dont ya think that there would be no addicts?
We all no how s*** it is to wake up i the morning clucking, if you have kids then you'll no how bad you feel when your little one comes up to you and wants to play an you push them away coz u feel like **** an you need a hit, don't you think if it was that easy we would all stop right NOW???
THINK b4 you judge...there are smack heads and then there are addicts....there are junkies and then there are users....not all heroin addicts are low lifes in fact most of us..sorry...them, are real cool people.
P.S I have just gone thru my post and changed all the USs to THEM's...that is a good sign dont ya think?...No gear for 16 days now....am i still an addict or a former addict??
TMUK
.
The TIN family
Heroin addicts are not idiots, twats, ***** or whatever derogatry (Spellcheck please) term you wanna use or label addicts with, I truly believe heroin addicts do not choose to take heroin it chooses them, by default.
Of course there are options and addicts are not physically forced to go and score, but mentally they are forced and later they'll suffer physically if they don't. Am I making sense??....I got myself kinda mixed up here(!!)
Would you say that an asthma sufferer was a twat for using an inhaler ? No. They need it or they will have an asthma attack..asthma is an illness an inhaler helps it.
Heroin addiction is an illness and heroin is the medicine that addicts need to make them better....
If giving up the gear was that easy dont ya think that there would be no addicts?
We all no how s*** it is to wake up i the morning clucking, if you have kids then you'll no how bad you feel when your little one comes up to you and wants to play an you push them away coz u feel like **** an you need a hit, don't you think if it was that easy we would all stop right NOW???
THINK b4 you judge...there are smack heads and then there are addicts....there are junkies and then there are users....not all heroin addicts are low lifes in fact most of us..sorry...them, are real cool people.
P.S I have just gone thru my post and changed all the USs to THEM's...that is a good sign dont ya think?...No gear for 16 days now....am i still an addict or a former addict??
TMUK
.
The TIN family
Tinm@n asks-
now....am i still an addict or a former addict??
My friend, I believe you will always be an addict. Hopefully you wont be one who is using, or constantly battling in an active addiction. Yes we all will always be addicts ,but it doesnt mean we have to use. My of us keep this disease at bay and live normal productive lives. Its takes work and constant vigilance- something that I myself still have a hard time with- even with replacement therapy(mdone).
Anyway- best to all
jack
- > I have get into my normal life now> job,meetings,family,you know,sometimes trying to live this double life is so fuc*** exhausting.
see ya
now....am i still an addict or a former addict??
My friend, I believe you will always be an addict. Hopefully you wont be one who is using, or constantly battling in an active addiction. Yes we all will always be addicts ,but it doesnt mean we have to use. My of us keep this disease at bay and live normal productive lives. Its takes work and constant vigilance- something that I myself still have a hard time with- even with replacement therapy(mdone).
Anyway- best to all
jack
- > I have get into my normal life now> job,meetings,family,you know,sometimes trying to live this double life is so fuc*** exhausting.
see ya
Shell you are hurting....
But what you wrote on this board as the vent, should have been on the family board.
Do you think they don't know? They do...I see that, the after, when all is said and done, over....WTF did I do to my life is something I hear often. The words, and the regret, the shame, guilt personally from my husband. And that is his, part of the process they all go through finding thier way out of this hell....
He isn't a bad person, never thought he was. And oh I hated him using, hated to see him in that.....I can't know what it is, but I do know what it does. I had major regret cause he could melt away and I had to be responsible. Ok what a sickness that becomes. And then why couldn't he be responsible.....
Interesting what we find when we learn where we belong in this and take ourselves out of their madness. And the strange and wonderful things that happen for us. Oddly they too look different.....
I am if nothing else consistent. It is his life. That simple and he can live how he wants, always....Youhave that same right, and have no control in this. There is no you have to stop, no amount of begging, pleading, screaming, freaking out, catching him in the act of that will make anything change....Only he can stop, change him, and in time he will....believe....
Zero girl wrote of the saving, allowing him to fall. Read some stuff on enabling, educate your parents and let go....And in that letting go which has nothing to do with not loving work on you...This is called a family disease for very good reasons.
Always remember these just just people here, human beings. They bleed red just like you, breath the same air as you, and hurt at times just like you.....
And just because they are addicts they don't get treated like sh*t as well as don't get cut breaks.
Take care of you,
Love,
Tina
seren01....Believe in yourself and never ever give up. There is this big world, this awesome life waiting on you to take all the beauty, jump in and just live.....
But what you wrote on this board as the vent, should have been on the family board.
Do you think they don't know? They do...I see that, the after, when all is said and done, over....WTF did I do to my life is something I hear often. The words, and the regret, the shame, guilt personally from my husband. And that is his, part of the process they all go through finding thier way out of this hell....
He isn't a bad person, never thought he was. And oh I hated him using, hated to see him in that.....I can't know what it is, but I do know what it does. I had major regret cause he could melt away and I had to be responsible. Ok what a sickness that becomes. And then why couldn't he be responsible.....
Interesting what we find when we learn where we belong in this and take ourselves out of their madness. And the strange and wonderful things that happen for us. Oddly they too look different.....
I am if nothing else consistent. It is his life. That simple and he can live how he wants, always....Youhave that same right, and have no control in this. There is no you have to stop, no amount of begging, pleading, screaming, freaking out, catching him in the act of that will make anything change....Only he can stop, change him, and in time he will....believe....
Zero girl wrote of the saving, allowing him to fall. Read some stuff on enabling, educate your parents and let go....And in that letting go which has nothing to do with not loving work on you...This is called a family disease for very good reasons.
Always remember these just just people here, human beings. They bleed red just like you, breath the same air as you, and hurt at times just like you.....
And just because they are addicts they don't get treated like sh*t as well as don't get cut breaks.
Take care of you,
Love,
Tina
seren01....Believe in yourself and never ever give up. There is this big world, this awesome life waiting on you to take all the beauty, jump in and just live.....
Hey Shell
I know only too well how you're feeling because my daughter is 17 and a heroin addict so I think I'm justified to say what I am about to. I don't know how old you or your brother are Shell BUT....... yeh and here comes the but; don't be so quick to judge others, if you've never been there yourself honey.
My daughter had a fantastic upbringing, good loving mum and dad, comfortable life style, great friends and most of all she was a VERY intelligent kid, who at every parents evening we were always told she could do anything she put her mind to because she has what it takes.
THEN......... at the age of 15 she starting hanging round with a different crowd which lead her to meet a new boyfriend yeh you guessed a "smack head". He hadnt been as lucky as Sarah, he'd come from a broken home, been in care and some of his so called friends introduced him to the big H and so he became hooked.....that wasn't his intention, his was to better his life..... BUT HE GOT THE BIG H SURPRISE!!!. He's been in and out of prison quite a bit and he's only 20 and has no one to support him. Yes part of me hates him for introducing my baby to heroin, but part of me does feel for him.
Allegedly he wasnt using when they met but like the guys here have said once an addict "its there for life" and the only person who can change that is the addict themselves. Its about life choices and they have to choose. Not so easy though.
What you have to remember is people don't decide they're going to become an addict. My daughter saw her boyfriend injecting and saw how "chilled" he was after his hit and thought she'd like to try it (she forgot how s*** he looked and felt when he was rattling, or what he had to do to score) so she thought she'd give it a go, by having an odd smoke of it.
She told me, just like every other living soul who's ever tried it. She wasnt going to get hooked, shed be ok just having a little dabble and having the odd smoke, she wouldnt get hooked not her... she was stronger than this. GUESS WHAT - she wasn't and neither is ANYONE.
Before long she was injecting and I only found out the day before her 17th birthday. She said she'd only been on it for about 6 months but unfortunately the nature of the drug and the culture it creates means she doesnt know when she's lying or telling the truth.
Heroin is very powerful. It sneaks up when you're least expecting it and THEN.....its got you....YOU'RE HOOKED and thats the problem, it has such a hold on you that you have to really battle to find the kind of strength it takes to fight back. It becomes a cycle; get up, find the money somehow, generally shoplifting, steeling from your family, or whatever, no matter really, you just have to score, then you have your dig and the world becomes a better place "for a while". Then it starts all over again and so it goes on, only as time goes by you need more and more to get the same buzz. AND THAT BECOMES YOUR LIFE..
Sarah's on her third attempt at getting clean now and I've been through every possible emotion you can think of. Sometimes it so painful I think I'm going to die from a broken heart. Like I said I know how you feel and it hurts bad but just to make it clear; this wasnt on our daughter's agenda: University, degree, good job yeh, but Heroin addict nah! AND IT WONT HAVE BEEN ON YOUR BROTHERS EITHER!
I've grown stronger over the past few months and because I love her so much I've realised I've been trying to do too much for her to help her. I know that may sound weird but now I've taken the advice from the guys on here which has been spot on. Its only Sarah who can do it, so its on her shoulders now and if she f*****s up then thats up to her. When she wants off it bad enough she'll decide. I'll always be here for her but please, please don't dis what you don't know babe because your brother needs your understanding and support not your scorn.
We are all here for you Shell and we DO understand how you feel, but understand how your brother feels too babe and also other addicts. Don't forget they are all somebodies loved ones too!
Sorry post a bit long guys.
Shell babe, you really should post on the families board for loads of extra support!
Luv n hugs to you Shell and stay strong honey
Christina x
I know only too well how you're feeling because my daughter is 17 and a heroin addict so I think I'm justified to say what I am about to. I don't know how old you or your brother are Shell BUT....... yeh and here comes the but; don't be so quick to judge others, if you've never been there yourself honey.
My daughter had a fantastic upbringing, good loving mum and dad, comfortable life style, great friends and most of all she was a VERY intelligent kid, who at every parents evening we were always told she could do anything she put her mind to because she has what it takes.
THEN......... at the age of 15 she starting hanging round with a different crowd which lead her to meet a new boyfriend yeh you guessed a "smack head". He hadnt been as lucky as Sarah, he'd come from a broken home, been in care and some of his so called friends introduced him to the big H and so he became hooked.....that wasn't his intention, his was to better his life..... BUT HE GOT THE BIG H SURPRISE!!!. He's been in and out of prison quite a bit and he's only 20 and has no one to support him. Yes part of me hates him for introducing my baby to heroin, but part of me does feel for him.
Allegedly he wasnt using when they met but like the guys here have said once an addict "its there for life" and the only person who can change that is the addict themselves. Its about life choices and they have to choose. Not so easy though.
What you have to remember is people don't decide they're going to become an addict. My daughter saw her boyfriend injecting and saw how "chilled" he was after his hit and thought she'd like to try it (she forgot how s*** he looked and felt when he was rattling, or what he had to do to score) so she thought she'd give it a go, by having an odd smoke of it.
She told me, just like every other living soul who's ever tried it. She wasnt going to get hooked, shed be ok just having a little dabble and having the odd smoke, she wouldnt get hooked not her... she was stronger than this. GUESS WHAT - she wasn't and neither is ANYONE.
Before long she was injecting and I only found out the day before her 17th birthday. She said she'd only been on it for about 6 months but unfortunately the nature of the drug and the culture it creates means she doesnt know when she's lying or telling the truth.
Heroin is very powerful. It sneaks up when you're least expecting it and THEN.....its got you....YOU'RE HOOKED and thats the problem, it has such a hold on you that you have to really battle to find the kind of strength it takes to fight back. It becomes a cycle; get up, find the money somehow, generally shoplifting, steeling from your family, or whatever, no matter really, you just have to score, then you have your dig and the world becomes a better place "for a while". Then it starts all over again and so it goes on, only as time goes by you need more and more to get the same buzz. AND THAT BECOMES YOUR LIFE..
Sarah's on her third attempt at getting clean now and I've been through every possible emotion you can think of. Sometimes it so painful I think I'm going to die from a broken heart. Like I said I know how you feel and it hurts bad but just to make it clear; this wasnt on our daughter's agenda: University, degree, good job yeh, but Heroin addict nah! AND IT WONT HAVE BEEN ON YOUR BROTHERS EITHER!
I've grown stronger over the past few months and because I love her so much I've realised I've been trying to do too much for her to help her. I know that may sound weird but now I've taken the advice from the guys on here which has been spot on. Its only Sarah who can do it, so its on her shoulders now and if she f*****s up then thats up to her. When she wants off it bad enough she'll decide. I'll always be here for her but please, please don't dis what you don't know babe because your brother needs your understanding and support not your scorn.
We are all here for you Shell and we DO understand how you feel, but understand how your brother feels too babe and also other addicts. Don't forget they are all somebodies loved ones too!
Sorry post a bit long guys.
Shell babe, you really should post on the families board for loads of extra support!
Luv n hugs to you Shell and stay strong honey
Christina x
Shell I also know how you feel as I am going through the same with my partner. Its hard to understand from a heroin addicts point of view but believe me until he wants to give up he wont and the more you nag him the more he will be tempted to go out an get some gear. Just be a friend to him and listen. He will appreciate that more and maybe realise that he has someone special in his life...thats you love! My partner was an addict years ago but got clean and was clean when he met me 3 years ago but has been using again for the last 2-3 months. He became seriously depressed and that was his excuse. Before this all started he actually hit me and become very abusive towards me and throwing things at me, grabbing me etc. I am in a constant battle to get him through this but trust me nagging ain't gonna help. Just be patient and strong. I have a 13 month old daughter and it is tearing me apart what my partner is doing. He has attempted to come clean about 6 times over the last few weeks but once he gets to the 2nd day it all gets too hard. He had gone 2 days as of today but has been out and got some meth...its a start and atleast it aint heroin!! Were going to a clinic tomorrow so fingers crossed. Apparently meth is harder to get off then heroin but am not sure how true this is but atleast its not the normal gear he has been taking. Just keep strong anyway chick and just be there for him. It will pay off in the long run. Your brother needs you just like my partner needs me and together we will help them through this. xx
