Ain't Life In Sobriety Grand?

Success Stories & Milestones
1
Hi everybody My name is Carolyn and I am an alcoholic and addict.

My sobriety date is Sept.20, 2004.

Five factors that led to my recovery in sobriety:

1. Working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.
2. The willingness to change my life for the better.
3. Opening my heart to the God of my understanding.
4.Attending support groups
5.Practicing rigorous honesty


Three out of four of my grandparents were alcoholics. So I was predisposed at birth. I awoke the sleeping giant at about 17. I was the party girl. Always made the best martinis and had the best drugs(Lots of pot, cocaine,acid,pills[downers mostly]). I had always worried about my weight and suffered from low self esteem. I dated a guy for 4 years during this time who did a lot of drugs and suffered from low self esteem as well. He emotionally abused me,told me I was fat ,cheated on me , told me that I was lucky to have him, nobody else would want me,etc...
I finally got rid of him, and moved away to go to college at 21.I didn't want to to go through that again with men, so I developed a pattern of dating men and hurting and/or dumping them before they could do it to me. Over the next 10 years I poked through college, going full time, part time and no time. As I got older and the disease progressed, The drinking and drug taking got steadly worse,blackouts, missing school, lying to my mom so she would give me money, hanging out w/ people who drank and used as much or more than I did.And the hangovers. Oh my God, the hangovers..
Finally I graduated from college and moved back to where I had grown up hoping for what I now know is called, a 'Geographical cure' . I stopped going to bars,but now I was isolating,drinking alone and starting to call in sick to work. I was feeling hopeless; like I was living at 1/3 of my potential. I felt stuck - I couldn't stop drinking and using but I couldn't imagine my life without it.
The summer of 2004 I went down to an ICYPAA(International Conference of Young People in AA) Convention in Orlando to support my cousin who was 8 months clean off of Heroin (and everything else as well).Well, I drank the whole way down there, not knowing it was AA. I got there and found out, I was really freaked out!! But I stayed and went to the big meeting that night with them. About 5 minutes into it, I realized that I completely belonged and could no longer deny that I was an alcoholic and addict. After the meeting,my cousin found some women from my town and I got their phone numbers. I went home the next day, called one of the girls and the next day went to my 1st AA meeting.
Recovery has not always been easy. I smoked pot for the 1st three months in sobriety. It didn't work. Trying to work a program and be honest with yourself and others while still getting stoned will really mess with your head. But I had a loving sponsor and an understanding home group who were there for me as I picked up my second white chip.
Slowly over time I have started to get better. While I have been sober, I have gone to meetings daily, worked with my sponsor on the 12 steps,attend a regular women's meeting, worked with newly sober women(sponsees),chaired meetings, told my story at speaker meetings and am of service when asked.

Getting clean and sober has allowed me to become the woman I always wanted to be.