Howdy All,
I am looking for a non-faith based support group for families of alcoholics. I have been to a few Al-Anon meetings and it isn't really clicking. As a self-identifying spiritual agnostic who brews beer for a living, I felt a little like the enemy in the room at Al-Anon. As my wife completes her alcoholism program, her counselor has asked that I attend support meetings as well and hope that there are some non-faith based, non-12 step alternatives that might serve my needs better. Any insight is greatly appreciated!
Dear redbeard,
You ask a real good question. This is a common question for many people entering a 12-step program.
There is a major section of the AA "Big Book" dedicated to this topic: "To the agnostic". I suggest you read this before dismissing Al Anon or NAR Anon as a whole. There are good reasons to avoid using religious tones for newcomers. Sadly, it is common for a still-suffering alcoholic or addict to have been shunned by family members who errantly cite religious references. I have heard them say, "don't tell me about God - the people who believe tell me they love me then turn around and discard me like trash". This is why AA is very delicate about handling this topic.
There is also a big difference between specific meetings within Al Anon (or NAR Anon) in how they address the "higher power" topic. If you ask around in your area, you may find a meeting that is better suited for you.
Speaking from my experience, the "higher power" doesnt need to be a religious one. Someone in addiction already has a higher power - it is the alcohol or drugs. The answer is to find a power even greater than the substance.
The people I know who struggle with the religious angle will consider the group's collective experience as their higher power.
I hope this helps - and please message back if you'd like me to elaborate.
Flyboy
You ask a real good question. This is a common question for many people entering a 12-step program.
There is a major section of the AA "Big Book" dedicated to this topic: "To the agnostic". I suggest you read this before dismissing Al Anon or NAR Anon as a whole. There are good reasons to avoid using religious tones for newcomers. Sadly, it is common for a still-suffering alcoholic or addict to have been shunned by family members who errantly cite religious references. I have heard them say, "don't tell me about God - the people who believe tell me they love me then turn around and discard me like trash". This is why AA is very delicate about handling this topic.
There is also a big difference between specific meetings within Al Anon (or NAR Anon) in how they address the "higher power" topic. If you ask around in your area, you may find a meeting that is better suited for you.
Speaking from my experience, the "higher power" doesnt need to be a religious one. Someone in addiction already has a higher power - it is the alcohol or drugs. The answer is to find a power even greater than the substance.
The people I know who struggle with the religious angle will consider the group's collective experience as their higher power.
I hope this helps - and please message back if you'd like me to elaborate.
Flyboy
Thanks Flyboy! I have read the "to the atheist" section already, and the particular Al-Anon group I have attended a couple of meetings with wasn't preachy at all, it just feels forced to me. Perhaps that particular group isn't the one for me, but at the same time, I am still interested in exploring other avenues of support for families of addicts that aren't based on the 12 Steps.
You should look up Smart Recovery (http://www.smartrecovery.org/). It's a great alternative to the 12 steps/Al-Anon.
