Al, I try to stay positive. Laura and Sierra are spending the night at Jen's. Which means I can quit holding back my heart break. I noticed yesterday that Bob's truck was at his brothers. 5 minutes from here. I drove on by. It was still there today. I drove on by...Then Jen told me she saw his truck parked near a trailer park.Which is where the last woman he cheated with lives. I know what I have said. All of that doesn't stop me from missing him..And wanting to be with him. I know his feelings were I guess not as deep as mine. I know how his actions have made me feel. I know, I know I know!!! Yet here I sit. Alone again. Crying my eyes out. He was the sweetest talking man I've ever known..He painted a picture with his words. He knew what I desired, who I was, everything about me. And told me what he wanted me to hear. And I wanted to believe it was all true...Dreams die hard...And tomorrow is a new day. Right now I've just got to mourn the death of the life I saw. Ahead..When he straightened up. When we could be man and wife. Gone..All of it gone.Well I'm going to turn on the boob tube. See if A&E has cold case files or American Justice. If not maybe National Geographic has something interesting. And of course since I started getting on the net so often I have interesting books piled on my dresser. Alone and depressed,,lil sis,,,,Linda
You arent only mourning the death of "what could have been" you are mourning the death of "Bob" . Him, as he was when the two of you were happy. He is NOT that man . I used to warn my daughter about pubescent boys through the teenage years. (ya, like it ever changes?? lol) They will tell you ANYTHING to get in your pants , remember those years WAY, way ,back when (omg, I have become my father!!! )"my balls will explode"
"I will DIIIIIIIEE!!", OH, there were some gems used by all, most , boys(never me!! cough, cough ) Some boys become men. Some never do . I guess it is rather sexist of me to put it in theses terms . Women can be just as good at "tell em what they want to hear" or "being who they think you want them to be " Who we are always comes out though . people cant be a fake forever.
You need to stop worrying about other people . I found the best relationships come when you stop looking for them and start being your own best "other half"
That is an interesting thought, why does it take two people , two halves to make one "whole" person ??? it DOESNT!!.
You are a wonderful woman Linda!, you have intelligence, compassion, humor. You set goals and go after them . Be happy with who you are. Live for yourself, your daughter and granddaughter .
It doesnt take two people to make a whole person , it just feels better when we can share our lives with another . It seems without drugs in your lives Bob has nothing to share . So why tear yourself up?? You might miss the person who will make you happy , by dwelling on what doesnt .
Short version.....From where I am looking , I see a man who uses drugs, is not faithfull, is abusive (that one alone should give you a clue) is only supportive of you when it is convenient for him.
I think deep down you knew there was no future with him , you mourn the loss of who you thought he could be , and isnt .
I have no clue if anything I said makes sense Linda, I am a recovering addict , not a relationship counselor. Besides, it is a big brothers job to dislike any guy his lil sis goes with !!! lol .. cheer up , it is his loss, not yours . your big bro,.....AL (aka Dr. AL , the troll )
"I will DIIIIIIIEE!!", OH, there were some gems used by all, most , boys(never me!! cough, cough ) Some boys become men. Some never do . I guess it is rather sexist of me to put it in theses terms . Women can be just as good at "tell em what they want to hear" or "being who they think you want them to be " Who we are always comes out though . people cant be a fake forever.
You need to stop worrying about other people . I found the best relationships come when you stop looking for them and start being your own best "other half"
That is an interesting thought, why does it take two people , two halves to make one "whole" person ??? it DOESNT!!.
You are a wonderful woman Linda!, you have intelligence, compassion, humor. You set goals and go after them . Be happy with who you are. Live for yourself, your daughter and granddaughter .
It doesnt take two people to make a whole person , it just feels better when we can share our lives with another . It seems without drugs in your lives Bob has nothing to share . So why tear yourself up?? You might miss the person who will make you happy , by dwelling on what doesnt .
Short version.....From where I am looking , I see a man who uses drugs, is not faithfull, is abusive (that one alone should give you a clue) is only supportive of you when it is convenient for him.
I think deep down you knew there was no future with him , you mourn the loss of who you thought he could be , and isnt .
I have no clue if anything I said makes sense Linda, I am a recovering addict , not a relationship counselor. Besides, it is a big brothers job to dislike any guy his lil sis goes with !!! lol .. cheer up , it is his loss, not yours . your big bro,.....AL (aka Dr. AL , the troll )
AND what the hell am I doing awake at this time of the morning????
hallelujah! woooow. i needed that reminder too. unfortunately living in the "now" (like, this is fresh doodie to deal with), these words are hard to compute. living in the revision of my dreams...this is a bodacious thought to keep in mind. jom, i think its your calling to be a counselor of some sort. you have a gift.
i remember when i went off to college my dad said, "i'm going to make this easy for you. boys only want you for your body, or money. don't go getting yourself pregnant and coming crying back to me." and off i went. isn't that sweet! aww, what an endearing man. anyway, it is a gorgeous day here on the island. i'm going to read that post again, motivate, and DO something!!! linda, remember you are an amazing multi-tasking wonder woman. that man is very unfortunate to have let you down. he doesn't deserve a woman like you....you're out of his league.
i remember when i went off to college my dad said, "i'm going to make this easy for you. boys only want you for your body, or money. don't go getting yourself pregnant and coming crying back to me." and off i went. isn't that sweet! aww, what an endearing man. anyway, it is a gorgeous day here on the island. i'm going to read that post again, motivate, and DO something!!! linda, remember you are an amazing multi-tasking wonder woman. that man is very unfortunate to have let you down. he doesn't deserve a woman like you....you're out of his league.
uw uw uw. i forgot to mention, AL, Linda...if you haven't read The Celestine Prophecy, its a great book. I loved it.
and smiles, smiles for alll
and smiles, smiles for alll
i think AL is gifted too.
Friends, Thanks for helping me. Today, of course, is a new day. It's like f*** him. I gave and gave...Iit's time to start putting that wasted energy toward myself. I love you all and you brought me out of the blues.. Thanks Al..You too GW.. The sun is shining today so I'm getting out of the house and doing something. My L&R. lil sis,,,Linda
awww, shucks, y'all got me beat red now. thank you for such kind comments. I got a lot of years to make up for, ooops, that's right ...follow my own advice ...we cant change any of the past. Only accept the now . Hopefully with lessons learned, direct our future , so there are no regrets.
