Hey Ali, I just read your post on the thread about April...Just to let you know, I do not have any of your info any longer because my husbutt took my computer when he left last August. If you would like to send your info to me, please do so at the following addy:
Pam B
1221 West Lakeview Avenue
ART Program, Building D
Pensacola, Florida 32501
Phone: 850-469-3555 (day)
850-469-3582 (evening)
I got a good chuckle out of your post talking about me being at a fancy dancy rehab facility on the water. Girl, I wish...LOL...Apparently you only got a portion of my dillima and missed out on the part that I now have NOTHING cuz the husbutt took off with everything...When I checked into residential treatment, I did not even have any clothes, (I ain't lying)...LOL...for real, I had nothing and the staff took me out to the Salvation Army and Waterfront Mission and got some things for me to wear and then the other clients here pulled together and donated some things to me. Girl, I'm so broke that I can't afford to change my mind...and you know what...? It isn't half bad...at least I am not with that azzhole that I was married to for all of those years...Yikes, I'm still married to him and I have got to get on the ball with that problem...I filed for divorce back in September and have not heard a thing from my attorney about a hearing.
Okay love, it was good to hear from you and I sure hope that you are doing well. I've missed talking to you.
WAIT...I thought April was a lesbian...Oh well, chit happens...
Love ya girl and get up with me if you can...
Hey Ali and Pam,
Just thought I would stop by and wish you both a Happy Valentine's Day!!
Pam you said " ...I thought April was a lesbian!! The April that used to write really LONG posts was a lesbian. April Torres is the one Ali was talking about. Two different April's. By the way Ali tell April I said Congrats on having a healthy baby girl.
You ladies have a good one.
Rae
Just thought I would stop by and wish you both a Happy Valentine's Day!!
Pam you said " ...I thought April was a lesbian!! The April that used to write really LONG posts was a lesbian. April Torres is the one Ali was talking about. Two different April's. By the way Ali tell April I said Congrats on having a healthy baby girl.
You ladies have a good one.
Rae
Pam...it's so good to see you post. I just wanted to wish you luck with rehab and let you know that I'm pulling for you. You might not have anything, but that means you can only build up from there. Stay willing and you'll be just fine. Love Lisa
Hey Pam - HOLEY SHEET you got plenty. Just wait until you get out of rehab. How is your beautiful daughter?
I do not know how you ended up in rehab but really glad you made it. Coke is your DOC?
That's my love. Sheet still scares me. July 1988 last line and I still am scared sheetless of it.
Only went to a couple CA meetings as there really were not many of them. I always found AA worked best for me.
Anyway keep in touch. Your in a great place and things will only get better.
You can always write me at suboxman @AOL--
I am very glad your in a safe place. If you work hard Pam you will learn the coping skills needed to survive. I went ot 3 rehabs and learned from all of them.
Do what they tell you. And if its something you do not want to do? DO IT? For me It was calling off a wedding left my business family friends to go to a halfway house.
If I did not listen i would be dead today. This I know for sure.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY--Pam
Keep in touch
Hang in there --Jeff
I do not know how you ended up in rehab but really glad you made it. Coke is your DOC?
That's my love. Sheet still scares me. July 1988 last line and I still am scared sheetless of it.
Only went to a couple CA meetings as there really were not many of them. I always found AA worked best for me.
Anyway keep in touch. Your in a great place and things will only get better.
You can always write me at suboxman @AOL--
I am very glad your in a safe place. If you work hard Pam you will learn the coping skills needed to survive. I went ot 3 rehabs and learned from all of them.
Do what they tell you. And if its something you do not want to do? DO IT? For me It was calling off a wedding left my business family friends to go to a halfway house.
If I did not listen i would be dead today. This I know for sure.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY--Pam
Keep in touch
Hang in there --Jeff
Hey Fancy pants..lol
Will get a hold of you tomorrow sometime...
Your hubby cant just leave you high and dry like that!
Dont forget ive got 3 lawyers in the family..lol
Meanwhile your exactly where you should be..get your head clear so
you can stand up for yourself..
IMHO....Divorce alone is not worth fighting in court..come to an agreement and move on
but to be left without anything but the clothes on your back>>??
Nu-uh...no way..no how..
I cant believe he did that to you.
Have you even had any contact with him since youve been in?
Never mind, I'll catch up with you tomorrow..
You allowed phone calls there??
Okay Missy.....Keep your head up..
Great things are ahead of you...
Big Hug
Ali
PS Rae is right hon, its not that April..lol..April T ( Torres ) is a different one...very sweet girl but didnt post very much- she was tapering off of Sub and Benzo when she was here..her babys name is Natasha...ill see if i can get permission to post her pic...her baby is SO adorable and sweet you just want to take a little bite...
( softly..lol..baby lovers will hopefully know what i mean..lol)
I'll tell April for you Rae...thanks
Will get a hold of you tomorrow sometime...
Your hubby cant just leave you high and dry like that!
Dont forget ive got 3 lawyers in the family..lol
Meanwhile your exactly where you should be..get your head clear so
you can stand up for yourself..
IMHO....Divorce alone is not worth fighting in court..come to an agreement and move on
but to be left without anything but the clothes on your back>>??
Nu-uh...no way..no how..
I cant believe he did that to you.
Have you even had any contact with him since youve been in?
Never mind, I'll catch up with you tomorrow..
You allowed phone calls there??
Okay Missy.....Keep your head up..
Great things are ahead of you...
Big Hug
Ali
PS Rae is right hon, its not that April..lol..April T ( Torres ) is a different one...very sweet girl but didnt post very much- she was tapering off of Sub and Benzo when she was here..her babys name is Natasha...ill see if i can get permission to post her pic...her baby is SO adorable and sweet you just want to take a little bite...
( softly..lol..baby lovers will hopefully know what i mean..lol)
I'll tell April for you Rae...thanks
Pam....Wishing you all the love,health & luck sweety.Im so so glad your in a place that can only help you.TAKE CARE SWEETY!!!!
Pam,
Good for you for doing everything you needed to do for your sobriety dear. I was fairly new to this site and not to far into recovery when you were posting last although I swear I saw you on here once in a while. Anyhow. I had to leave all my things and my clothes at an ex boyfriends right when I got clean. I left all my furniture clothes everything. My counselors asked me if it was worth my sobriety to go back and get them. I waited a year then I went back and got my furniture wich was thrashed and the clothes that didn't fit anymore LOL. It was empowering and scarey at the same time. And fruitless I might add. I have nothing of the furniture left it was wayyy tooo thrashed and the clothes I will never fit into again thank GOD> I was wayyyyyyyyy to skinny. I just wanted to say you are a beautiful person inside and out (I saw a pcitre on the thread) and you send off a great vibe in your posts. You are gonna do great. You have a friend here and if you ever need to talk. Justjanep@hotmail.com
Much love and respect,
Jane
Good for you for doing everything you needed to do for your sobriety dear. I was fairly new to this site and not to far into recovery when you were posting last although I swear I saw you on here once in a while. Anyhow. I had to leave all my things and my clothes at an ex boyfriends right when I got clean. I left all my furniture clothes everything. My counselors asked me if it was worth my sobriety to go back and get them. I waited a year then I went back and got my furniture wich was thrashed and the clothes that didn't fit anymore LOL. It was empowering and scarey at the same time. And fruitless I might add. I have nothing of the furniture left it was wayyy tooo thrashed and the clothes I will never fit into again thank GOD> I was wayyyyyyyyy to skinny. I just wanted to say you are a beautiful person inside and out (I saw a pcitre on the thread) and you send off a great vibe in your posts. You are gonna do great. You have a friend here and if you ever need to talk. Justjanep@hotmail.com
Much love and respect,
Jane
Hey Rae, Lisa, Jeff, MJ, Ali and Jane...I hope that I didn't leave anyone out.
Thank you all for the encouraging words. Oh, sorry about getting the April thing twisted up...You all know my silly butt...but glad you straightened me out on that one Ali...
Anyhow, I'm really enjoying my stay here at rehab. I'm learning new things each and everyday and I love going to the CA meetings. Too bad they didn't offer you more of them when you were fresh into recovery Jeff but I must say, many people here tell me that the CA meetings are triggers for them but I love to hear the stories of how others got into the rooms, what got them there and where they have been, what made them decide to get clean and what they have experienced since getting clean.
Jeff, I never dreamed that me and the cocaine would become lovers...Man, that crap is something else. Of course I used cocaine when I was younger but I suppose that since I didn't have the funds to purchase mass quantities of it back then, may be why I didn't get so caught up on it. I must say though, I'm certainly glad that I am OFF of all prescription meds and I have no plans on ever taking meds again unless I'm about to die and I hope that does not happen anytime soon. Yeah, had I not came to Rehab and checked myself in, I am more than sure that Cocaine would have taken me out of this world. I was literally killing myself and my weight got down to 87 pounds and I was some kinda gross looking. Since getting here, I have put on the pounds and I now weigh 112 pounds and I'm gaining at a rate of about 2 pounds per day...Yikes...Na, I could care less about the weight thing because as you all know, with my height I can use some pounds...
Thanks again for all of the kind words and I hope that each of you had a great Valentine's Day...
Anyone wishing to write me, please feel free to do so at the address in my first post. At this time I have NO pen pals and my family has not even bothered to contact me. Also, if you call me on the numbers that I left in my post, you can leave me a message and as soon as I get it and get someone to let me borrow a phone card, I'll call you back or post a message here for you. I'd love to hear from you all...
Jeff, I hope that you are doing well health wise too. I know when I was last posting here you were having a dilly of a time and hopefully things are getting better for you...By the way, how is the weather in beautiful Miami? We are under a freeze warning tonight and it was colder than a witche's boobie today too...
Love you all and hope to hear from you soon.
Yikes, JUST TO LET YOU ALL KNOW...I DO NOT HAVE ANY EMAIL SERVICE HERE AND THIS IS ONE OF THE ONLY MESSAGE BOARDS THAT I HAVE FOUND THAT I HAVE ACCESS TO, SO I'M SORRY TO SAY, I CAN'T EMAIL ANY OF YOU BUT I'LL FIND SOMEWAY TO STAY IN TOUCH.
Thank you all for the encouraging words. Oh, sorry about getting the April thing twisted up...You all know my silly butt...but glad you straightened me out on that one Ali...
Anyhow, I'm really enjoying my stay here at rehab. I'm learning new things each and everyday and I love going to the CA meetings. Too bad they didn't offer you more of them when you were fresh into recovery Jeff but I must say, many people here tell me that the CA meetings are triggers for them but I love to hear the stories of how others got into the rooms, what got them there and where they have been, what made them decide to get clean and what they have experienced since getting clean.
Jeff, I never dreamed that me and the cocaine would become lovers...Man, that crap is something else. Of course I used cocaine when I was younger but I suppose that since I didn't have the funds to purchase mass quantities of it back then, may be why I didn't get so caught up on it. I must say though, I'm certainly glad that I am OFF of all prescription meds and I have no plans on ever taking meds again unless I'm about to die and I hope that does not happen anytime soon. Yeah, had I not came to Rehab and checked myself in, I am more than sure that Cocaine would have taken me out of this world. I was literally killing myself and my weight got down to 87 pounds and I was some kinda gross looking. Since getting here, I have put on the pounds and I now weigh 112 pounds and I'm gaining at a rate of about 2 pounds per day...Yikes...Na, I could care less about the weight thing because as you all know, with my height I can use some pounds...
Thanks again for all of the kind words and I hope that each of you had a great Valentine's Day...
Anyone wishing to write me, please feel free to do so at the address in my first post. At this time I have NO pen pals and my family has not even bothered to contact me. Also, if you call me on the numbers that I left in my post, you can leave me a message and as soon as I get it and get someone to let me borrow a phone card, I'll call you back or post a message here for you. I'd love to hear from you all...
Jeff, I hope that you are doing well health wise too. I know when I was last posting here you were having a dilly of a time and hopefully things are getting better for you...By the way, how is the weather in beautiful Miami? We are under a freeze warning tonight and it was colder than a witche's boobie today too...
Love you all and hope to hear from you soon.
Yikes, JUST TO LET YOU ALL KNOW...I DO NOT HAVE ANY EMAIL SERVICE HERE AND THIS IS ONE OF THE ONLY MESSAGE BOARDS THAT I HAVE FOUND THAT I HAVE ACCESS TO, SO I'M SORRY TO SAY, I CAN'T EMAIL ANY OF YOU BUT I'LL FIND SOMEWAY TO STAY IN TOUCH.
PAM look for a letter darlin. Should get it this weekend or first of the week.
Yes I spoke with Ruby, and I just left you a message. Some chick took my number, so now you have it.
Call Collect.
Call Collect.
Not many things in this world scare me Pam. Crazy people--and Coke. I am clean since freakin1988 and I still would love to get an ounce and a girl and bet a few games eat some prime rib and snort coike and drink wine for a few days. This was my life. I was a binger.
Never shot it -smoked it in cigs snorted a ton and offset the effects with Valium. Somehow I managed to live like this for 6 yrs approx while running a division of a family business. I was 24/7-action. Gambling daily--wheeling dealing-it was like goodfellas.Just 3 times a week. And a lot of week vacations working vacations in Florida. Same hotel same party--SICK
Pam I cant tell you how happy where you are. Its just my opinion but Rehab at least for me each one taught me many lessons. In 2001 My counselor who was the best told me my wife was sabotaging my recovery.HUGH?? Did not get it at first. But she was correct. I finally let go and yea it was tough but it saved me. This was my third rehab in 2001.
Pam I just want you to know it took me over 15?yrs to really figure out how to live and be happy. And if you have an open mind each day you grow in recovery. So its so exciting to be free of that deamon.
But You always have to remember NEVER FORGET---cause the disease never IMO dies EVER.
You just LISTEN do not be scared. Fear? Puck that . I promise you if your willing to just listen to all the good people at rehab and follow there advice you will put your disease in remission. You will become a much better person.
I was a prick when i was sober the first time Filled with anger. But AA taught me a lot. I spent many hours in therapy and meetings and its all very logical.
I just made everything DIFFICULT. Addicts tend to do this. At least I sure did.
Today man more problems than I can count but its all so simple to deal with today.
Sure some days suck. Its cold down here today. I have a lot of pain but had a great day at work and now home and doing my taxes. I stay busy.
Hey Pam I think I read you may be in rehab extended? 60-90 days? If you can JMO whatever you can afford to do? do it.
I left it all cause I really believed I was going to die. I hit such an awful bottom with the coke. But if you saw me ? apartment in N.Y corvette race horse --9+ hottie who wanted to marry me -great job tons of friends ? yet I was so messed up WHY?
Depression--anger --fear--but god I loved COKE--and well that was my first LOVE.
And I still Love it. Recently since my divorce I met a really hot girl. And well it almost led me to a relapse. After all those years. I got drunk with her couple times and she was young gorgeous loved to drink and then coke was mentioned. I RAN AWAY.
It was God. Sorry to ramble. Just really glad your getting help and shared a little bit about the power that coke has over me.
It will never end till they put me in a hole.
Pam please listen to your counselors. Stick with the winners. Stay away from gossip--your there to get an education.
Your really lucky just like i was.
Have a good night
Jeff
Never shot it -smoked it in cigs snorted a ton and offset the effects with Valium. Somehow I managed to live like this for 6 yrs approx while running a division of a family business. I was 24/7-action. Gambling daily--wheeling dealing-it was like goodfellas.Just 3 times a week. And a lot of week vacations working vacations in Florida. Same hotel same party--SICK
Pam I cant tell you how happy where you are. Its just my opinion but Rehab at least for me each one taught me many lessons. In 2001 My counselor who was the best told me my wife was sabotaging my recovery.HUGH?? Did not get it at first. But she was correct. I finally let go and yea it was tough but it saved me. This was my third rehab in 2001.
Pam I just want you to know it took me over 15?yrs to really figure out how to live and be happy. And if you have an open mind each day you grow in recovery. So its so exciting to be free of that deamon.
But You always have to remember NEVER FORGET---cause the disease never IMO dies EVER.
You just LISTEN do not be scared. Fear? Puck that . I promise you if your willing to just listen to all the good people at rehab and follow there advice you will put your disease in remission. You will become a much better person.
I was a prick when i was sober the first time Filled with anger. But AA taught me a lot. I spent many hours in therapy and meetings and its all very logical.
I just made everything DIFFICULT. Addicts tend to do this. At least I sure did.
Today man more problems than I can count but its all so simple to deal with today.
Sure some days suck. Its cold down here today. I have a lot of pain but had a great day at work and now home and doing my taxes. I stay busy.
Hey Pam I think I read you may be in rehab extended? 60-90 days? If you can JMO whatever you can afford to do? do it.
I left it all cause I really believed I was going to die. I hit such an awful bottom with the coke. But if you saw me ? apartment in N.Y corvette race horse --9+ hottie who wanted to marry me -great job tons of friends ? yet I was so messed up WHY?
Depression--anger --fear--but god I loved COKE--and well that was my first LOVE.
And I still Love it. Recently since my divorce I met a really hot girl. And well it almost led me to a relapse. After all those years. I got drunk with her couple times and she was young gorgeous loved to drink and then coke was mentioned. I RAN AWAY.
It was God. Sorry to ramble. Just really glad your getting help and shared a little bit about the power that coke has over me.
It will never end till they put me in a hole.
Pam please listen to your counselors. Stick with the winners. Stay away from gossip--your there to get an education.
Your really lucky just like i was.
Have a good night
Jeff
Thanks for sharing part of your story with me Jeff and thank you for the encouraging words. Right now I plan on staying here just as long as possible and money is not an issue at this facility as I'm considered indigent at this time so the state is paying for my rehabilitation, thank God...
Hey Brooke, here is another phone number for you to call me on...Please let me know before you call so I can sit by the phone because it is a pay phone. This time of day is usually a good time for you to call me too because I am just getting back from lunch and I have free time until around 2:00 but today I have to attend a class on Relapse Prevention at 1:15 because it was cancelled on it's regular day. If for some reason it gets cancelled again today, I will get back on here and let you know. I miss talking to you sistah and hope we can chat soon...Love ya...Oh, thanks for the letter. I don't have it yet but will be looking for it...You will never know how much it means to recieve a letter from you...
Pay Phone : 850-435-9215
Hey Brooke, here is another phone number for you to call me on...Please let me know before you call so I can sit by the phone because it is a pay phone. This time of day is usually a good time for you to call me too because I am just getting back from lunch and I have free time until around 2:00 but today I have to attend a class on Relapse Prevention at 1:15 because it was cancelled on it's regular day. If for some reason it gets cancelled again today, I will get back on here and let you know. I miss talking to you sistah and hope we can chat soon...Love ya...Oh, thanks for the letter. I don't have it yet but will be looking for it...You will never know how much it means to recieve a letter from you...
Pay Phone : 850-435-9215
Pam
Called the payphone number first but it just stopped after 10 or so rings..
Just left message and my number with a most charming man - "Gary" that answered the other day number...when i told him my name he asked how to spell it...lol
Then he asked what your last name was and i told him...just say Pam "B" and he said..Oh..Cool...no names....gotcha!...lolol
Hopefully he'll find you and give you the info...
Cant wait to talk to you again..
hugs\
Ali
Called the payphone number first but it just stopped after 10 or so rings..
Just left message and my number with a most charming man - "Gary" that answered the other day number...when i told him my name he asked how to spell it...lol
Then he asked what your last name was and i told him...just say Pam "B" and he said..Oh..Cool...no names....gotcha!...lolol
Hopefully he'll find you and give you the info...
Cant wait to talk to you again..
hugs\
Ali
Hey Ali, you are correct, Gary is a very nice man and I got your message today and I tried calling you and Brooke but got no answer. Thank you so much for calling me here. I can't wait until we can talk to one another again too. I am just sitting here laughing about Gary asking you to spell your name, of course he has probably never heard anyone with your French accent before down here in the deep south...LOL...
hi Pam...........
just wanted to say hello and God Bless you honey............
i am so happy for you...............
thumper
just wanted to say hello and God Bless you honey............
i am so happy for you...............
thumper
Thanks Thumper, how are you doing? I haven't been on this web site in so long, it's about time I catch up on everything. Tonight we get to stay up until 1am and everyone else is in watching a movie while I sit here on the computer. Apparently, not many people here are too computer literate so I don't have to fight with anyone about using the one and only computer in this joint...
((((((((((((((( Pam ))))))))))))))))) Hi! Gi and I are keeping you in our prayers. I was just reading here a little and saw ya' post and wanted to say hi and I love ya'!
It's so awesome you took this step, I'm so happy for you. You hang in there!
Love ya', Take care,
Bob
It's so awesome you took this step, I'm so happy for you. You hang in there!
Love ya', Take care,
Bob
Pam,
Just want to say Hi. All the best and use everything in your power to beat this.
Wendy
Just want to say Hi. All the best and use everything in your power to beat this.
Wendy
Hey Bob and Wendy, what up Boob? I miss you and Gi and hope that we get to visit with one another very soon. Things are going good here and I really like where I am at and what I am doing. You all have a great day and I'll holla at ya later...
