This time last year I was broke. I spent whatever money I earnt, stole or borrowed on my heroin addiction ($240 a day) and used intravenously with my partner of 5 years and a few friends. By this point I had also died 4 times and my hospital record for opiate overdose was ridiculous.
Then my mother reached out to me and I began to change my mentality.
I chose to walk out on my partner and every single friend I had, intentionally destroy my relationship with the dealers and stay with my family.
The absolute worst part wasn't the week of painful and terrifying withdrawals that followed after my last shot, it was maintaining the willpower to stay clean.
I was told it was very dangerous to cold turkey a 5 year everyday addiction, and to register for a methodone programme though I did not want to transfer from one addiction to another as I have seen people do with opiate rehabilitation drugs.
So I went cold turkey and it sucked. Details aren't really necessary but there were times where I definitely thought it would be easier to end my life.
The physical withdrawals set me up mentally for the mental strain to come.
The best thing I did for my body after facing the withdrawal period was accept that I would not drink, at all. This was a very big thing for me as I loved my whiskey.
I also started going for daily walks with a family member, as I stayed with my mother. After I reached a satisfactory level of fitness I joined a gym, and also took up a new sport. I enrolled for a certificate I could study from home and receive credits for. I got a job one day a week working with animals (very therapeutic).
I have only slipped up and used opiates twice since my initial pull out date and I plan to never touch them again.
I think about it every day though, and this pains me too, possibly more than the withdrawals. But if you can become comfortable in your own sober company, and you can force yourself to love yourself and see a life past the next few months you face then every day will become easier. It's a great feeling of empowerment that comes with self control.
The most definite fact that stands with my story is that without the support from my family, none of this would have happened, and I would most likely be dead. To have just one person tell you every day they are proud of your progress and that tomorrow will be better is the most valuable thing for me as a recovering very heavy addict. If you're lucky enough to have a family who will offer unconditional love and support, you can practically guarantee yourself recovery, as long as you are willing.
Great Job Luv!
This is Fantastic Lil,
Really is!! Thanx so, so much for sharing all of that with all of us- cuz it's so incredibly inspiring. Reading this has definitely helped me and I'm thankful that you took the time to think about it and then put it all together and type up this information for us all. I know that it's going to help others and there is nothing greater than someone who helps their fellow human. Thanx for sharing with us Lil- I'm very grateful as I feel sure that others will be as well. What you did here Lil just literally rocks, it truly does-- and so do YOU my dear! Stay safe,
OLuvr
Really is!! Thanx so, so much for sharing all of that with all of us- cuz it's so incredibly inspiring. Reading this has definitely helped me and I'm thankful that you took the time to think about it and then put it all together and type up this information for us all. I know that it's going to help others and there is nothing greater than someone who helps their fellow human. Thanx for sharing with us Lil- I'm very grateful as I feel sure that others will be as well. What you did here Lil just literally rocks, it truly does-- and so do YOU my dear! Stay safe,
OLuvr
