I am 25 years old with three small children. I am going to be married in less then a year. I have a 7 year old son from a prior relationship and two little girls with my fiance. The man I "intended" to marry is addicted to cocaine.
He has always been an excellent father and "husband", or so I thought. I have had my suspicions for about 2 years. Money has been unaccounted for, lies have been told, always blowing and touching his nose, pupils dilated, etc. I never took part in any drug use, so I wasn't really sure what to look for or if it was drugs. Last August, my father died of drug and alcohol use. I never participated in drug use mainly because I saw what it did to my dad. My fiance is in denial. He will do anything to hide his use. Although he leaves traces everywhere. Razor blades, empty baggies, bloody tissues left in the basement or car. I walk around and clean these things up so nobody sees them. For fear of my children and my family (my children can not get into the basement for those who are concerned with their safety). I clean these things up and feel like I am wrong. Like I am helping him. I question him and it does no good. He tries so hard to be one happy family while I sit up all night crying because I know that we are not. We can't truly be happy until he gets help.
I may not have gotten married before having children, the way my Lord intended, but I am married to him in my heart and soul. I feel like if I leave I will be abandoning this "marriage" and giving up on him and our life. Or did he do that already? If anyone out there can understand then please help.
-Mommy
Dear almost alone,
You may be alone if he doesn't get into counselling. I don't know how old your significant other is, but at any age coke can damage the heart. For your sake and the sake of your children you need to make him see this seriously.
Good luck!
You may be alone if he doesn't get into counselling. I don't know how old your significant other is, but at any age coke can damage the heart. For your sake and the sake of your children you need to make him see this seriously.
Good luck!
Hi,
I dont think I can help you but I do know what you are going through. I found out about 3 weeks ago that my husband has been doing cocaine daily for over a year.
It was just a fluke that I found out, I needed some change for my daughters school lunch, my husband was in the shower, so I went in his pants pocket and to my surprise, guess what I found? So, I put it back (STUPID ME) and was waiting for him to come out of the shower (THINKING HE WAS GOING TO TELL ME). He Didn't. So about 10 mins later he said that he had to go the washroom, so I waited about 5 mins and went upstairs to the bathroom. As I walked in, he threw something behind him. I asked what he was doing he said nothing (HE HAD THE MOST GUILTY LOOK ON HIS FACE). I asked him again, he said nothing. Pissed off I walked away. When he finally came downstairs (20 mins Later), I again asked what he was doing. He looked at me and said you want to know what I was doing and walked back upstairs. When he came down, he showed me paper about a sex potion. I laughed and told him he must think I'm stupid. He went on for over a half hour that he wasnt doing anything, it was all in my head. So I told him that when he wanted to tell me the truth to come and talk to me and I went upstairs to my bedroom.
About 10 mins later he comes up, pleading that he wasn't doing anything (He was talking like he was screwed up or scared s***less that he was being found out). I asked him point blank if he was doing cocaine and he looked at me all surprised I would say that and said "I would never do anything like that". I asked him to swear on his newborn son's life that he was doing it and he did. I was so upset I was shaking uncontrollably, I couldnt believe he would swear on his son's life. So I looked at him and said "Let me tell you a little story" and I continued with how I needed change for my daughter, went in his pants and found the coke. His mouth dropped and he finally admitted it. He tried to tell me that it was only for the past 3 months every 4-5 days,after me investigating and checking his phone bills he admiited to the truth being that he was doing it daily for over a year. He did while I was in labour. I asked who he was getting it from and it was from a very close that I never suspected of doing it either. Slowly, I am finding out more and more.
I do not trust him anymore and am not sure if I still want to be with him. The past year or so has been one big lie. Nothing that was special to me is special anymore. I dont believe a word he says. He hid like no other. I smoke pot and have tried other non-hard drugs and thought I was pretty smart, but I had no clue. Now that I look back I see the signs like the weightloss, the runny nose, taking 30 mins to go to the washroom, excessive sweating while he sleeps etc.
Hey maybe we can help eachother cause I sure need some support as well.
Stay Strong
I dont think I can help you but I do know what you are going through. I found out about 3 weeks ago that my husband has been doing cocaine daily for over a year.
It was just a fluke that I found out, I needed some change for my daughters school lunch, my husband was in the shower, so I went in his pants pocket and to my surprise, guess what I found? So, I put it back (STUPID ME) and was waiting for him to come out of the shower (THINKING HE WAS GOING TO TELL ME). He Didn't. So about 10 mins later he said that he had to go the washroom, so I waited about 5 mins and went upstairs to the bathroom. As I walked in, he threw something behind him. I asked what he was doing he said nothing (HE HAD THE MOST GUILTY LOOK ON HIS FACE). I asked him again, he said nothing. Pissed off I walked away. When he finally came downstairs (20 mins Later), I again asked what he was doing. He looked at me and said you want to know what I was doing and walked back upstairs. When he came down, he showed me paper about a sex potion. I laughed and told him he must think I'm stupid. He went on for over a half hour that he wasnt doing anything, it was all in my head. So I told him that when he wanted to tell me the truth to come and talk to me and I went upstairs to my bedroom.
About 10 mins later he comes up, pleading that he wasn't doing anything (He was talking like he was screwed up or scared s***less that he was being found out). I asked him point blank if he was doing cocaine and he looked at me all surprised I would say that and said "I would never do anything like that". I asked him to swear on his newborn son's life that he was doing it and he did. I was so upset I was shaking uncontrollably, I couldnt believe he would swear on his son's life. So I looked at him and said "Let me tell you a little story" and I continued with how I needed change for my daughter, went in his pants and found the coke. His mouth dropped and he finally admitted it. He tried to tell me that it was only for the past 3 months every 4-5 days,after me investigating and checking his phone bills he admiited to the truth being that he was doing it daily for over a year. He did while I was in labour. I asked who he was getting it from and it was from a very close that I never suspected of doing it either. Slowly, I am finding out more and more.
I do not trust him anymore and am not sure if I still want to be with him. The past year or so has been one big lie. Nothing that was special to me is special anymore. I dont believe a word he says. He hid like no other. I smoke pot and have tried other non-hard drugs and thought I was pretty smart, but I had no clue. Now that I look back I see the signs like the weightloss, the runny nose, taking 30 mins to go to the washroom, excessive sweating while he sleeps etc.
Hey maybe we can help eachother cause I sure need some support as well.
Stay Strong