Hi, so I have been clean going on year & half. Boyfriend 3 years. I went from pills to methadone, smoked weed in first attempt at tapering off, continued to smoke up until quit methadone for good as it started messing me up psychologically past initial withdrawal. That said I never planned to quit smoking but did&rolled with it. He went from pills to heroin to anything he could slam in his arm. He detoxed in jail, entered program&has been active in a.a. for 3 years. We were separated for almost 2 years when he went to jail. Since we got back together both clean, that's how we intended to start our life over with each other& child. Present day: he smoked weed few days ago, then tells me last night he's going to buy some. We got into it,he did not. My concerns: he's not in a good spot, sleeping in truck, rarely working,depressed. I think he just wants to escape. That said if was to remain only pot, fine. But as a recovering alcoholic & heroin addict I feel he's playing with fire and could eventually turn to something else. I said if that's how he's going to live maybe we shouldn't be together. I don't know if I'm overreacting on subject. Opinions please. Thanks, -Mary
Mary,As you being a recovering addict I understand your hard stance towards pot and your boyfriend.Alot of people call pot a gateway drug im not sure I believe that but for some I guess it could be.Thing is after your boyfriend starts smoking pot again then comes his friends who smoke too AND a good chance they do other drugs, You don't need to be around that.If it is only the pot he smokes I say OK to me pot is the marshmallow of drugs.I DON'T think your overreacting at all I imagine it scares you.I think I would be the same way if I were you.I know this isn't much help but only you know the answer.I guess it depends on how much you care for the guy.But be careful YOU have to come first don't let anybody drag you back into your addictions.
Good Luck Alan
hey mary,
i think that the fact that your even wondering if you should be in this situation shows your growing.... and you recognize an unhealthy situation when you see it. i am a FIRM believer in YOU need to be well before you can love ANYONE.
if we keep doing what we've been doing then we will keep getting the same results right?
people can definitely change but they don't change overnight. its never like in the movies!
there is a part of you that still loves him but you have to love yourself more.
all it takes is one little itty bitty screw up and your right back to square one and do you really want that happen because of a MAN do you? (no offense men, but you know what i mean!)
take care
i think that the fact that your even wondering if you should be in this situation shows your growing.... and you recognize an unhealthy situation when you see it. i am a FIRM believer in YOU need to be well before you can love ANYONE.
if we keep doing what we've been doing then we will keep getting the same results right?
people can definitely change but they don't change overnight. its never like in the movies!
there is a part of you that still loves him but you have to love yourself more.
all it takes is one little itty bitty screw up and your right back to square one and do you really want that happen because of a MAN do you? (no offense men, but you know what i mean!)
take care
Thank you guys for your thoughts and input on this. Yeah I don't necessarily see pot as gateway, I think kids will do whatever is most accessible& that's usually it. I do see it as possible re-entery though after having history with other stuff then a lot of clean time. All I can do now is be grateful for the honesty, realize I have no control over someone's choices but my own& take from there. -Mary
i think youre being a little extreme. My husband would much rather see me smoke a joint than slam a dilaudid into my brachial. let the poor guy smoke a joint.
Yeah of course we all would. It's pot I get that. So yeah I'd rather see him smoke then slamming dope again any day..can't stress that to it's fullest. as far as 'letting', not my place, do I have to like it? No..
