Am I Enabling When...

Hi I know a lot of people ask questions about if they are enabling someone to continue using or not so I thought I'd ask if this is enabling him:

When he does crack he begs me to stay at home so he knows where I am so he doesn't have to worry what I'm doing...the best way he does this, he calls every half hour to "trick" me saying "I'll be over right away...I'm leaving now..." Doing this all night and believe it or not, it has worked. So I sit at home and answer all his calls while he's doing crack. Is that enabling him?

My friends tell me that since he's worried about me going out with friends clubbing, I should just do it and make a deal with him that if he chooses to do crack, I'm going out and stick to it. Then maybe doing crack won't be so easy because he knows instead of me sitting at home waiting for his calls, i'm going out and his biggest fear is if I go out, I'm going to cheat on him (because I have in the past).
I don't know what to do..
kitty, my friend. not only are you enabling him, but he is controlling you -- from across town.
Hey Kittycat how you doing? Hope you're well. I'm not to bad right now, hope it stays that way!
In reply to your message i would have to say my first instinct, if it were me in that position would be to agree with you're friend - if that's his worst fear then chuck it right in his face full force and see just how much he likes feeling sick to his stomach every minute of hours he doesn't know what you're up to. I kinda did that the first time he relapsed - i was so mad so i totally did his nut in big time, but the thing is it didn't make me feel any better....in fact i found it just kept the anger i felt keep on coming. Thinking about it now i'd have to say that if it were me and my bf kept me at home with the promise he were coming over, when he really had no intention of, then i'd have to take every time he said he's coming over as BS. I would try my best to go on with normal life as i wanted it, whether that be going out with friends or staying at home. If i went out and he flipped out i would try to be as calm about the thing as possible - as if its not that big a deal. You should go out because you want to not to get back at him cos in my experience they always seem to win at that ( i think cos we have a much more aware conscience than addicts) At the same time dont wait in for him, you know what he's doing and yes i suppose you are enabling him by keeping his mind clear to focus on crack (he doesn't have to worry about where you are).
I just re-read this and i hope i haven't came across as cheeky - thats the advice i would give myself too, but know i find it really hard to go with and stick with what i know i should be doing. I hope it woks out for you kittycat
Take care xx :)
Bob, the way you said that I had to laugh, it is ridiculous isn't it, him controlling me from across town!

Jo7, thanks...I'm doing good so far but i know a relapse isn't far. He's done good for almost two weeks now, yes a whole two weeks. His brother got paid and did crack for the past two days but instead of being around him doing it with him, he has stayed at my place instead.
Anyways normally going out clubbing with friends is something I enjoy doing once in a while. Not all the time though, it does get expensive! My bf HATES clubs so he never wants to go, and I'd rather be in watching a movie with him but if he's going to ditch me to do crack, I always feel better going out with friends, have a few drinks, dance and keep my mind off of it!
So I made a deal with him, I get to go out and have fun with my friends clubbing if he decides to do crack. That way he's not having any fun worrying about what I'm doing.