Ok I have just found a post like this for the first time. I have known my boyfriend for a year and a half and he dropped the heroin habit about a month before he met me. He thinks I am the angel reward he recieved for years of inner turmoil. We didnt date for about 6 months and I didnt really know he had a problem besides what he told me about his past. He is a very strong person with high ideals and compassion.
Except it has become extremely evident in the past 6 months of us living together that he has a drug problem. I have never known an addict and I am unaware of what I am supposed to do about his tendancies. He would never touch heroin again (I hope) but he loves opiates of any sort (lorries, percs, roxies, etc) and also klonopins and other downers. I have also dabbled into the drug world, but I am a dedicated pothead. How do I control my extreme emotions, which I express in contempt and disgust, when he goes way too far into his "recreational" drug use. He will buy pills without telling me, lie about how many he takes (while taking extreme amounts), and forget how many he has taken overall due to the constant consumption. This morning I woke up at 7 and found he had fallen asleep in his bathroom after staying up all night. He took more lorries at about 3 this afternoon and I demanded to get away for a bit. I love this man more than anything in the world. How can I possibly save him? How am I supposed to help? He thinks he knows whats right and I should not bother...but....what am I to do???? please help me save my soulmate.
How can I possibly save him? How am I supposed to help? He thinks he knows whats right and I should not bother...but....what am I to do???? please help me save my soulmate.
Becka,
My name is Darin and I am a recovering addict. You, me or NOBODY can save him...only he has the power to do that. You can help but that should come with limits afterall this is not your burden to bare. Addicts are responsible for the choices they make....just like we choose to use...we can choose to take our lives back. Through all of this you need to love yourself(if not more)as mcuh as you love him because YOU matter most in all of this! All the best to you.
Darin
Becka,
My name is Darin and I am a recovering addict. You, me or NOBODY can save him...only he has the power to do that. You can help but that should come with limits afterall this is not your burden to bare. Addicts are responsible for the choices they make....just like we choose to use...we can choose to take our lives back. Through all of this you need to love yourself(if not more)as mcuh as you love him because YOU matter most in all of this! All the best to you.
Darin
This is a tough thing to say but YOU cannot DO anything until HE wants to do something.It is heartbreaking but if his behavior is really getting to you, you may have to walk away from him,to save yourself.Sometimes the smartest, greatest,most wonderful guys are plagued w/ problems like this.It is ...hard. I can't tell you what to do, but this:choose wisely & choose well. You cannot change him.But if he needs your help when he decides to sober up- be there! Until then...Good luck to you.
Hey Becka,
Recovering heroin addict here. I echo Darin, and Alaska.
There is nothing you can do to "save" him. We've all had loved ones who tried to save us. Like your dear man we are all pretty much decent, funny, intelligent, and kind people. We are loved. If the love of ones own child couldn't "save" them I don't know what could. You need to worry about YOU. His habit has put a dent in your life and if you can't keep track of how many pills he ate that's a sign right there, sweetie.
Only my own opinion, and I am so sorry you are having this to deal with. It hurts so bad. I'm a recovering heroin addict. My very, very favorite pills are Lorcet's. They get expensive. I'd quit heroin only to pick up by using them, and got low on cash, and right back to heroin. Plus all that and the Klonopins is dangerous. Well it all is. He fell asleep in that bathroom? Something is going on. Something pretty bad. I think all of us here could definately agree with that.
Noboady wants to worry about going in the bathroom to find a dearly, and very loved one knocked out or worse in the bathroom.
Hope it helps, honey. Also you might want to share on the partners/loved ones. They are great, great people who understand where you are at. Take an awful lot of lorcets to make someone go to sleep in the bathroom.
Recovering heroin addict here. I echo Darin, and Alaska.
There is nothing you can do to "save" him. We've all had loved ones who tried to save us. Like your dear man we are all pretty much decent, funny, intelligent, and kind people. We are loved. If the love of ones own child couldn't "save" them I don't know what could. You need to worry about YOU. His habit has put a dent in your life and if you can't keep track of how many pills he ate that's a sign right there, sweetie.
Only my own opinion, and I am so sorry you are having this to deal with. It hurts so bad. I'm a recovering heroin addict. My very, very favorite pills are Lorcet's. They get expensive. I'd quit heroin only to pick up by using them, and got low on cash, and right back to heroin. Plus all that and the Klonopins is dangerous. Well it all is. He fell asleep in that bathroom? Something is going on. Something pretty bad. I think all of us here could definately agree with that.
Noboady wants to worry about going in the bathroom to find a dearly, and very loved one knocked out or worse in the bathroom.
Hope it helps, honey. Also you might want to share on the partners/loved ones. They are great, great people who understand where you are at. Take an awful lot of lorcets to make someone go to sleep in the bathroom.
hey, i too am dating a recovering heroin addict...in my opinion the pills are just as bad...my boy had an od of the same pills (klonopins, xanax, percs, oxys, anything he could touch)...he would have died in a s***ty hotel if i didnt try to wake him up that morning...he calls me his angel too, the one who saved him- but the truth is that i didnt save him, god just gave him a second chance...it was supposed to be a wake up call, rock bottom for him...now, hes back on a binge, and its getting hard to deal with it any longer...key things to keep in mind: this is a disease, hes not going to wake up one morning and be free of the ties that bind...this is a struggle and its great if you can help him with it...but dont blame yourself when he goes back to it- its not that you did anything wrong, its the nature of the beast, and im not trying to scare you or stop you from loving him (thats something we should never stop doing) but always always alwasy remember that you come first...if you really care about him i would suggest staying away from the pills yourself...yay for pot, but becareful preaching and not practicing...maybe you two could go to a meeting together? only if you are both ready. or you could drop in on alanon/naranon...even checking out the link to the blogs for people who live/love addicts could help...stay strong and take care of yourself
elise
elise
