Don't you hate it when Friends, co-workers and family members say to you: why can't you just stop or get it?
Well i know i did. The question should have been " What is wrong in you that keep using drugs/alcohol as an escape? Using drugs and alcohol as a means of an escape or running from my fears got me no where. At the time it seems like the easier softer way at the time. In the long run the only thing that comes from supposedly taking the was road out is greater suffer and consequences as a result of running from your fears. So why can't we just get it? my opinion is that there is nothing to just get. Get what? get that we now suffer in broken relationships, financial wreckage and not to forget many of us have serious health issues. Some people have children, business's, great lives. None of that can stop us for getting what we want and that is to escape our fears and get high. I wish it was that easy as to say OK i have children and because of my children i will stop using drugs. It is just not that simple. I recently got out of a rehab that i was at for 9 months. When i first got there i realized that i was totally alone and that i had to except that in order to get everything back in life that i wanted that i would first have to understand the fact that i lost everything. I also came to believe that everything happened for a reason and some day down the road through FAITH i would be able to see why it all happened and that since my addiction didn't kill me that there was a greater purpose for me here on earth that i did not achieve yet.
So why can't we just stop?
For many obvious reasons to the addict/alcoholic can not just stop. For me the most common reason was that if i stopped using then i would have been very very ill. Most people response to this would be, just suck it up and it will pass. Just suck it up and it will pass?? only some one such as a family member or some one who has never been dope/pain pill sick would make this redonkulous request because they have never been through detox before. Some of us have jobs and to just stop taking pain medicines is impossible because we are afraid of losing our jobs and family's because we know that the world has zero compassion for a pill/ drug addict. How about my favorite is that my life has been destroyed because my addiction and i just stop i have to deal with all of the wreckage of the past hitting me right in the face. Many of us use to run and run to use. We get caught in this catch 22, where we get sober and once we get sober we get to see all the damage our last run or binge has done to our lives. then because of all of that damage we have caused to our life is nearly impossible to start life back up. So what do we do? we use more to mask the pain and run from our errors. When does the running stop??? Unfortunately its different for everyone. When pain becomes to great and you can no longer dull it with drugs and alcohol. when getting high or drunk no longer has the numbing effect that it once had. So yes stop but so it correctly. How to stop correctly?
I would advise only what i did. i got into a detox and then looked into rehab, not just rehab but long term rehab. i have personally been to 8 one-two month rehabs before i went to the 6-12 month rehab that finally gave me an opportunity to save my life. So take a minute and decide if you have really suffered enough yet to put in the work to stay sober. Once you have decided that you are willing to go to any lengths to achieve sobriety and you are willing to put you first, then you are ready to turn over a new leaf one day at a time.
part one of post
part two:
In my opinion stopping is the hard part if you are willing to do what ever it takes to stay sober. It is alot easier to live life on life's terms, then it is to wrestle and struggle with your self and the world. As strong as many of us as addicts/alcoholics think we are when it comes to being able to do this (get and stay sober by our selves) by our selves we will see that, that is impossible. We need help and cannot do this alone.
In conclusion i had to lose all my family, money, career and anything else that i thought i had or had to be able to finally want to get and stay sober. That was day one to a wonderful journey and the rest of my life...
In my opinion stopping is the hard part if you are willing to do what ever it takes to stay sober. It is alot easier to live life on life's terms, then it is to wrestle and struggle with your self and the world. As strong as many of us as addicts/alcoholics think we are when it comes to being able to do this (get and stay sober by our selves) by our selves we will see that, that is impossible. We need help and cannot do this alone.
In conclusion i had to lose all my family, money, career and anything else that i thought i had or had to be able to finally want to get and stay sober. That was day one to a wonderful journey and the rest of my life...
How right you are...Hopefully someone will read this and find it helpful.
