I got a call Monday from my uncle and they put my grandfather in Hospice. They said it could be any day or a couple of weeks. This is my mom's dad. I am going to see him sat. I am kinda anxious bout it cause it's the same hospice my mom was in. I am also feeling pretty bad bout not visiting him before now. They say he recognizes people some days and some days not. I really hope he recognizes me, but either way I will get to say goodbye. Seems like I am doing that a lot.
Anyway, I just wanted to talk about it a little bit...
Sorry to hear that RKT. Hard losing loved ones. My prayers are with you.
God Bless....
God Bless....
Thanks Contract! Hope you are doing well
RKT, I am sorry for your grief. I don't know what kind of relationship u had with him, but obviously he is someone you love and care about. Life has many strange (I know there is a better word but strange will have to do for now) mysterious things about it. Our everyday existence goes so much beyond who we are and what we do. I feel some of your grief and sorrow through your words. You love the man, and he always knows that. Obviously I don't know anything about your relationship with your Grandad, but I don't think (strictly my opinion based on how u described the situation) you should be too hard on yourself for not seeing him as much as u think u should have. I'm doing a clumsy job of trying to make the point that ur love is always with him - and u have always been a part of his environment even when u didn't see him for a while.
I hope u don't take me as being out of line with what I'm saying, only good is ment. This is certainly a hard time of sorrow for u but I think u and he have been blessed, for you are getting a chance to talk to each other, or at least u to him, and say your goodbyes. My father passed away more then 10 years ago. He was in his late 70's and his health was deteriorating- but I was unaware that he was as sick as he was. At the time I lived in NY & he in Fl.
In early summer my wife went to Fl to visit her parents, and brought my 2 daughters , her step daughters, with her. My daughters spent about a week at my parents house and it was then that I learned that my father had been very sick & was tenorarily bedridden. My mother knew my kids were on the way, but she kept it from him so he would be surprised. When he saw them, he was so happy that he cried. I hadn't been able to get off of work. My father was expected to get mostly better and he did. I made definite plans to fly there about 3 months later and bring my 3 year old son with me. I probably hadn't seen him for at least a year, maybe more.
I was really looking forward to seeing him. I KNEW THIS MIGHT BE THE LAST TIME I WOULD SEE HIM ALIVE. Though I always loved him & he me, it wasn't untill my late 30's/early 40's, that I started to really enjoy his company. The only time I ever enjoyed smoking a cigar was when I was with him and we both sittin back & enjoying a stogey. I remember really looking forward to sitting outside & burning one. I think I even planned on getting a couple expensive ones for us, though I barely could differentiate between something Castro smoked & a White Owl. Of course I hoped I was wrong, but I really felt this might really be my last chance to see him.
I was still a couple months away from seeing him when he passed away. I never did get that final visit, but I certainly thanked God and my wife that my children had seen him when they did. To this day I wish somehow I had gotten down there earlier, but at least he knew my son and I were planning to come down. Also, I am grateful that he passed away peacefully. He was sitting on his favorite chair in front of the house. My mother found him passed on.
That was far too long a story to convey that in the midst of your sadness, you do have a chance to say goodbye. Even though my father has died, I still love him & I know he still loves me. I have come to believe that death is similar to, and maybe the same as, birth. I don't think we simply vanish. but that we move on to another place, a better place, where we are still us but a better us. And I really do believe he misses us as we miss him.
AGAIN, I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, BUT I AM GLAD FOR UR LOVE & UR CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE TO HIM (even if he is confused, and it might not be apparant, there will be an inner awarness of your prescence))))))))) God Bless
I hope u don't take me as being out of line with what I'm saying, only good is ment. This is certainly a hard time of sorrow for u but I think u and he have been blessed, for you are getting a chance to talk to each other, or at least u to him, and say your goodbyes. My father passed away more then 10 years ago. He was in his late 70's and his health was deteriorating- but I was unaware that he was as sick as he was. At the time I lived in NY & he in Fl.
In early summer my wife went to Fl to visit her parents, and brought my 2 daughters , her step daughters, with her. My daughters spent about a week at my parents house and it was then that I learned that my father had been very sick & was tenorarily bedridden. My mother knew my kids were on the way, but she kept it from him so he would be surprised. When he saw them, he was so happy that he cried. I hadn't been able to get off of work. My father was expected to get mostly better and he did. I made definite plans to fly there about 3 months later and bring my 3 year old son with me. I probably hadn't seen him for at least a year, maybe more.
I was really looking forward to seeing him. I KNEW THIS MIGHT BE THE LAST TIME I WOULD SEE HIM ALIVE. Though I always loved him & he me, it wasn't untill my late 30's/early 40's, that I started to really enjoy his company. The only time I ever enjoyed smoking a cigar was when I was with him and we both sittin back & enjoying a stogey. I remember really looking forward to sitting outside & burning one. I think I even planned on getting a couple expensive ones for us, though I barely could differentiate between something Castro smoked & a White Owl. Of course I hoped I was wrong, but I really felt this might really be my last chance to see him.
I was still a couple months away from seeing him when he passed away. I never did get that final visit, but I certainly thanked God and my wife that my children had seen him when they did. To this day I wish somehow I had gotten down there earlier, but at least he knew my son and I were planning to come down. Also, I am grateful that he passed away peacefully. He was sitting on his favorite chair in front of the house. My mother found him passed on.
That was far too long a story to convey that in the midst of your sadness, you do have a chance to say goodbye. Even though my father has died, I still love him & I know he still loves me. I have come to believe that death is similar to, and maybe the same as, birth. I don't think we simply vanish. but that we move on to another place, a better place, where we are still us but a better us. And I really do believe he misses us as we miss him.
AGAIN, I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, BUT I AM GLAD FOR UR LOVE & UR CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE TO HIM (even if he is confused, and it might not be apparant, there will be an inner awarness of your prescence))))))))) God Bless
(((hugs)))
I'm in your back pocket Rhonda..you know my number if you want to talk. I so get how you're feeling. I remember you talking about this Grandpa. I hope he goes quickly and pain free.
I'm in your back pocket Rhonda..you know my number if you want to talk. I so get how you're feeling. I remember you talking about this Grandpa. I hope he goes quickly and pain free.
Hi Rhonda - I'm sorry about your grandpop. Grandparents are really special. I will keep you in my prayers.
Thanks Browndog for sharing that wonderful story with me, and it did make me feel better about my situation. I appreciate you taking the time to tell me all of that.
We were definately closer before my sis and mom passed away. After my mom went and very shortly after her my aunt too...I sorta shut myself off from the rest of that part of my family. I didn't do it intentionally (I don't think), but did it nonetheless. I am sorta looking forward to seeing my uncle and cousins again and especially my grandfather, but am also a bit nervous about it. I guess b/c I know I should have been more in touch with everybody especially since everyone has been worried bout me and the grief I was going through.
When my aunt (mom's sis) was about to pass, she told my uncle that he had to watch out for me now b/c everyone else was gone. Well, I haven't made that very easy for him by shutting myself off from them.
But, like I said I am mostly blue about seeing my grandfather for the last time. Although I am feeling better after reading these posts. He knows I love him and he loves me regardless of my absence from his life the past couple of years. I am grateful that I do get this chance to say goodbye.
(((((Hugs)))) to Lisa and Alice. Thank you both!
We were definately closer before my sis and mom passed away. After my mom went and very shortly after her my aunt too...I sorta shut myself off from the rest of that part of my family. I didn't do it intentionally (I don't think), but did it nonetheless. I am sorta looking forward to seeing my uncle and cousins again and especially my grandfather, but am also a bit nervous about it. I guess b/c I know I should have been more in touch with everybody especially since everyone has been worried bout me and the grief I was going through.
When my aunt (mom's sis) was about to pass, she told my uncle that he had to watch out for me now b/c everyone else was gone. Well, I haven't made that very easy for him by shutting myself off from them.
But, like I said I am mostly blue about seeing my grandfather for the last time. Although I am feeling better after reading these posts. He knows I love him and he loves me regardless of my absence from his life the past couple of years. I am grateful that I do get this chance to say goodbye.
(((((Hugs)))) to Lisa and Alice. Thank you both!
I forgot to mention that my grandfather is a Solid Gold member of AA...going on about 40 or so years. What wonderful evidence that the program truly works if you work it!
I visited with my grandfather today. The walls in his room were covered with family photos. Among them were many of my mom, sis, my kids, and me. It was really nice. When I first walked in, he held out his hand to shake mine like I was a new nurse. I told him who I was and he knew I was his granddaughter. He told the nurse who I was too. So, I am glad he knew who I was. He didn't know who my daughter was, but he hadn't really been around her since she was little.
I thought I had the wrong room at first b/c he did not look the same at all. It was hard seeing him in that condition...relying on someone else to even go to the bathroom.
He has had a good, long life. He is tired and ready to pass on. I am glad I got to say goodbye. I just hope for his sake this doesn't drag out for too long.
I thought I had the wrong room at first b/c he did not look the same at all. It was hard seeing him in that condition...relying on someone else to even go to the bathroom.
He has had a good, long life. He is tired and ready to pass on. I am glad I got to say goodbye. I just hope for his sake this doesn't drag out for too long.
I'm so glad you got to spend a little time with him. I'm sure that both he and you are too!!
You are so blessed that he knew you and you got to say goodbye Rhonda. Feel good about that. When people get to that stage in thier life, they're ready. They're tired. Hospice is an amazing organization. They will not let him suffer.
Rhonda,
So sorry to hear about your Grampa. I am glad he has you to visit him and keep him company for a while.
God Bless you and your family Rhona,
Prayers of Comfort,
Jan
So sorry to hear about your Grampa. I am glad he has you to visit him and keep him company for a while.
God Bless you and your family Rhona,
Prayers of Comfort,
Jan
Thanks Lisa...that does make me feel better. I am blessed.
(((hugs))) Jan! Thanks for your kind words!
(((hugs))) Jan! Thanks for your kind words!
My grandfather passed away late last night. Didn't suffer. The visitation is Wed. night and the service is Thursday. I am doing good. It actually makes me smile a lil when I think about him being with the rest of my family now. I know he is happy and at peace.
He is being buried next to my grandmother. My step-grandfather is on the other side of her. A little strange, but This was their wishes. My mom and sis are directly behind them. So, I've got all of them together!
He is being buried next to my grandmother. My step-grandfather is on the other side of her. A little strange, but This was their wishes. My mom and sis are directly behind them. So, I've got all of them together!
Big hugs Rhonda....someone told me that we should leave this earth just as suddenly as we were born. Easier that way...it kinda makes sense to me..no suffering.
Hugs, Rhonda. That is special, to have them all together. I'm glad he didn't suffer, and passed with grace & dignity.
Spend time in the memories today and smile.
xoxoxo
Stacey
Spend time in the memories today and smile.
xoxoxo
Stacey
Today was tough. We had the service for my grandfather. I was doing fairly well until I looked over at my mom's and sister's graves. All of a sudden I was filled with all these emotions and broke down. I was trying to be stoic and strong, but that went downhill fast. It has been a while since I have visited their graves. But I feel good now...I guess I just needed to let all of that out. I really miss them!
Thanks everyone for always being here for me and supporting me!
Thanks everyone for always being here for me and supporting me!
Awww, honey.
Sometimes being strong is crying openly for those we've lost and miss.
May you find peace & serenity tonight.
xoxo
Stacey
Sometimes being strong is crying openly for those we've lost and miss.
May you find peace & serenity tonight.
xoxo
Stacey
Rhonda, you are such a gentle spirit. I'm sorry I'm so late to this thread, but I have been keeping you in my thoughts and am really glad you got to have that time with your grandfather. You needed a good cry...my goodness, your mother and sister...of course you have stored up tears for them.
Thinking about you and lifting you up in prayer ~ Love ~ S
Thinking about you and lifting you up in prayer ~ Love ~ S
Thank you Stacey and Mom. You have no idea how much your posts mean to me. I am so glad I have you guys!