Hi there
Went to NA last night again, but was told to go to other meetings too. This group consists of majority men and the the few females are very young. So I cannot get a sponsor there. This male female thing. I was very disappointed last night as I am also struggling to go down further with the tapering. the other meetings are very far from me and not so safe for the driving at night. working full time so no chance of day meetings.
Just wanted to share. Looks like I will have to re-evaluate this whole procedure and see how to move forward. Not a happy chappy at the moment.
Shared with another friend only to find out she is also using. Seeing her tomorrow and will have a f2f chat. Maybe the two of us can help each other.
luv
User10
user10
A recommendation for you. I would recommend checking out AA meetings. Now I can hear your brain cogs whirring....then klunking...thinking...but I am not an alcoholic. Maybe not. But there are some definite positives about AA.
1) Many, many more meetings to choose from
2) Usually many more people with long time sobriety--including from other drugs. Also now plenty of females. A huge range of ages, socioeconomic levels and ethnic backgrounds.
3) EXACT SAME 12 STEP PROGRAM. NA got it from them
and this next one is a little bit more....subtle reason. These are also people who are, one day at a time, removing the obsession for a very legal, very accessible, even extremely socially acceptable "party" drug. They, like you, have to deal with the fact that sobriety by default is not an option for them. If it is a group with some social connections as well, they can give you good examples of having fun without alcohol.
As a recovering addict, that might be one thing you would want to consider, perhaps avoiding alcohol as well. And even more importantly, not copping a resentment towards not drinking as well. If you would feel you are losing out on something, or that it is a "perk", you feel you should need to give up, then perhaps it might mean more to you than you would think......
Oh...and having a friend who is using "helping" you. To be honest, it is as AA says.
You can't give away what you do not have
There is no way this person, as nice or as good as a person they may be, could give you any help in either the AA steps or even in generalities of strategies for staying clean regardless of what life may throw at you as they have no experience in that.
It's kind of like having 2 people who both can't swim trying to save each other from drowning. They both will get pulled down.....
A recommendation for you. I would recommend checking out AA meetings. Now I can hear your brain cogs whirring....then klunking...thinking...but I am not an alcoholic. Maybe not. But there are some definite positives about AA.
1) Many, many more meetings to choose from
2) Usually many more people with long time sobriety--including from other drugs. Also now plenty of females. A huge range of ages, socioeconomic levels and ethnic backgrounds.
3) EXACT SAME 12 STEP PROGRAM. NA got it from them
and this next one is a little bit more....subtle reason. These are also people who are, one day at a time, removing the obsession for a very legal, very accessible, even extremely socially acceptable "party" drug. They, like you, have to deal with the fact that sobriety by default is not an option for them. If it is a group with some social connections as well, they can give you good examples of having fun without alcohol.
As a recovering addict, that might be one thing you would want to consider, perhaps avoiding alcohol as well. And even more importantly, not copping a resentment towards not drinking as well. If you would feel you are losing out on something, or that it is a "perk", you feel you should need to give up, then perhaps it might mean more to you than you would think......
Oh...and having a friend who is using "helping" you. To be honest, it is as AA says.
You can't give away what you do not have
There is no way this person, as nice or as good as a person they may be, could give you any help in either the AA steps or even in generalities of strategies for staying clean regardless of what life may throw at you as they have no experience in that.
It's kind of like having 2 people who both can't swim trying to save each other from drowning. They both will get pulled down.....
What Elim said...
I started going to AA for that same reason..not enough sobriety in NA, too many court orders and not enough women my age. I didn't relate to anyone...I got the message I needed but needed a sponsor.
I'm not an alcoholic but probably would be one if I drank..I just change the word alcohol for drug. I also go to more women's AA meetings then mixed. That's where I found my sponsor and the love, compassion and kick in the a** from a bunch of women that I will forever be grateful for.
I started going to AA for that same reason..not enough sobriety in NA, too many court orders and not enough women my age. I didn't relate to anyone...I got the message I needed but needed a sponsor.
I'm not an alcoholic but probably would be one if I drank..I just change the word alcohol for drug. I also go to more women's AA meetings then mixed. That's where I found my sponsor and the love, compassion and kick in the a** from a bunch of women that I will forever be grateful for.
Hi Cowgirl and Elim
Thank for the advice. I have found an AA meeting Sunday night. Just hope their list is up to date. I could still attend the Thursday NA if I want to, but will have to find a sponsor somewhere else. I quite like the idea of a Sunday night. Gives a bit of umph for the week ahead. I do realize that this friend cannot help me. It was just so amazing as I thought ALL my friends are non users. You could have knocked me over with a feather.
As for the drinking, I am not really a drinker. Will have the occasional glass of wine when I go out eating. Never more than one glass and with lots of ice even though it is winter here. So my alcohol intake is 1 - 2glasses over the weekend. I dont even keep wine in the house anymore. Heard somewhere that if you drink alone you can get hooked. I dont need that in my life as well thank you very much.
Do I tell them at the meeting that I am actually addicted to codeine? I'd hate to be told to leave. Have no experience in this. This is now really stepping out of my box. A bit confused how these two (NA/AA) interact. Some info would be appreciated. One of the chaps at NA also suggested AA.
Thanks again and enjoy the week-end. Oh bliss can sleep late tomorrow.
luv
User10
ps. I read all the other messages and have picked up some valuable information.
Thank for the advice. I have found an AA meeting Sunday night. Just hope their list is up to date. I could still attend the Thursday NA if I want to, but will have to find a sponsor somewhere else. I quite like the idea of a Sunday night. Gives a bit of umph for the week ahead. I do realize that this friend cannot help me. It was just so amazing as I thought ALL my friends are non users. You could have knocked me over with a feather.
As for the drinking, I am not really a drinker. Will have the occasional glass of wine when I go out eating. Never more than one glass and with lots of ice even though it is winter here. So my alcohol intake is 1 - 2glasses over the weekend. I dont even keep wine in the house anymore. Heard somewhere that if you drink alone you can get hooked. I dont need that in my life as well thank you very much.
Do I tell them at the meeting that I am actually addicted to codeine? I'd hate to be told to leave. Have no experience in this. This is now really stepping out of my box. A bit confused how these two (NA/AA) interact. Some info would be appreciated. One of the chaps at NA also suggested AA.
Thanks again and enjoy the week-end. Oh bliss can sleep late tomorrow.
luv
User10
ps. I read all the other messages and have picked up some valuable information.
Alcohol is a drug. It's all the same. Good luck.