Just wondering because I'm keeping track of my thought and energy level and physical feelings lately.
My house is usually really clean. Everyone says I'm a clean freak and don't know how I do it with three kids and a husband. (and a dog my son found about 3 months ago that we're meaning to call the humane society about, but haven't got the heart, because here they put them to sleep in four days, so if anyone wants a pitbutt/americal stafforshire mix, let me know).
Anyway, I always get up, shower, put my makeup on clean, do something with the kids, get on with my day, etc. I have felt like doing NOTHING since no pills, I mean my beds aren't even made. Tomorrow's school so I HAVE to do the laundry, but thats about all I think I can manage. This house is starting to make me sick, I mean, its semi-picked up, but nothing like it usually is.
The kids are fighting and its driving me nuts. I feel like crawling in bed for a few days. I keep thinking that if I only had around six, I could fly thru the house and not be so depressed on the way it looks. I took my son to WalMart yesterday to spend his birthday money, and that way hard. Noises are magnified and I just want to be by myself. Anyone feel this way besides me? Just wondering.
Physically its not too bad, just the other stuff and everything is on my nerves. But most of all I don't feel like doing anything that I should be doing. And I know I'd feel better if the house looked good, I should just do it. JUST DO IT. Whoever said that stupid phrase anyway????????????????Briar.....
Briar-Those feeling are completely normal..I have them too, and I'm tapering..ugghh..I was on Xanax for a long time and quit that c/t, and what you described is right on...loud noises, lights, people..it was terrible..but hang in there...people say "One day at a time" but its more like One Hour At A Time..and God, this board has been a Godsend...just being able to talk about things..
Hi Danny,
Yea, this board is a Godsend. And your right, sometimes it is one hour at a time. But luckily, I'm not the type that can keep pills in the house without using them, so I'm glad I don't have any. Its hard. You said you quit xanax c/t? That must have been tough. Were you abusing them? I take them. My doc has had me on them for about three years. 0.5mg 3x day as needed. But I never take more than two. With panics I just can't give those up. Am I still clean? I have never abused those, in fact, I have a refill on those that I could have picked up more than a week ago, but I don't need them. How did you use your xanax? What are you tapering from now? And how much if you don't mind me asking. Regardless, I wish you the best, as I do for all of us, we're in the same boat.
Warm Regards,
Briar
Yea, this board is a Godsend. And your right, sometimes it is one hour at a time. But luckily, I'm not the type that can keep pills in the house without using them, so I'm glad I don't have any. Its hard. You said you quit xanax c/t? That must have been tough. Were you abusing them? I take them. My doc has had me on them for about three years. 0.5mg 3x day as needed. But I never take more than two. With panics I just can't give those up. Am I still clean? I have never abused those, in fact, I have a refill on those that I could have picked up more than a week ago, but I don't need them. How did you use your xanax? What are you tapering from now? And how much if you don't mind me asking. Regardless, I wish you the best, as I do for all of us, we're in the same boat.
Warm Regards,
Briar
OH YES BRIAR" i know what that is like i have always been a neat freak" but i to went through that same thing a few years back when i first quit my tylenol 3 addiction c/t" but first i will tell u how i got back on tyl 3's i mentioned it before but that was when i first started posting i think anyway it was 2 years later after being clean for 2'1/2 years and i had back surgery and my doc had perscribed them for pain and i told him iam scared to take them but because of the addiction i had in the past he said not to worrie it wont be a problum so being a doc i trusted it YA RIGHT" anyway never again iam clean thanks to jacky" u briar" and all the support i got from u dear sweet members here and i intend to stay that way but when i first quit the depression set in and i had to force my self to even get dressed for the day i thought i was going crazy i was so scared and i finely went to a doc and he helped me and then i went to a counseler and she was a tough lady i told her she reminded me of judge judy LOL.... anyway and she told me to remember how i felt after i cleaned my house the pride it gave me and remember how my family loved comeing home to a clean house how that made me feel and at first i didnt care what she told me i was so depressed and i started to cry for no reason all the time but then one morning oh it was very hard but i forced my self to clean it was not my best cleaning job but when i was done i looked around and it made me feel so good that i did it and slowly it helped me get rid of my tiredness and one day i woke up and i had a shower and made breakfest and i realised what i had just done and did not even realise it and i was smileing and after that it started to get easier and easier so briar PLEASE just hang in there it takes time and u have to fight through this by forceing your self to do things and in time u will see the old briar back i know its hard but u can do it briar u are such a sweet person and if u need support or just to vent iam here for u as u have been there for me . HUGS + LOVE LITTLE H
Briar,
What you are going thru is totally normal and to be expected when quitting opiates. While you used the opiates your brain quit making serotonin, so now that you have quit your body will take time to start making the serotonin for you. Sometimes it will take at least a year for your brain chemistry to return to normal. Serotonin is what makes us feel good and without it we become extremely depressed, just don't feel like doing anything at all and everything gets on our nerves and noises seem magnified. An anti-depressant will help with this, if you are not already on one. When you start anit-depressants, it usually takes 3 weeks for them to become effective. Other things that will help is doing exercise, getting outside in the sun, or even going to a tanning bed. During this time you will have to make yourself do things that you normally do such as taking a shower and putting on your make-up. Don't stay in your PJ's all day, even if that is all you want to do.
Good luck and God bless you, it gets better and easier each day, I promise. I will soon have a year clean. I cannot believe that I have made it this far. If I can make it anyone can.
Love to you and your family,
What you are going thru is totally normal and to be expected when quitting opiates. While you used the opiates your brain quit making serotonin, so now that you have quit your body will take time to start making the serotonin for you. Sometimes it will take at least a year for your brain chemistry to return to normal. Serotonin is what makes us feel good and without it we become extremely depressed, just don't feel like doing anything at all and everything gets on our nerves and noises seem magnified. An anti-depressant will help with this, if you are not already on one. When you start anit-depressants, it usually takes 3 weeks for them to become effective. Other things that will help is doing exercise, getting outside in the sun, or even going to a tanning bed. During this time you will have to make yourself do things that you normally do such as taking a shower and putting on your make-up. Don't stay in your PJ's all day, even if that is all you want to do.
Good luck and God bless you, it gets better and easier each day, I promise. I will soon have a year clean. I cannot believe that I have made it this far. If I can make it anyone can.
Love to you and your family,
Briar, I was taking 1mg x3 times a day..pretty much..and I know people who were taking 25mg a day...if you have panic, and are not taking more, then I think you are ok. For me, coming off was a nightmare though. I was basically immobilzed for 3 weeks. It was hell..but then again, I no longer had panic..I was just addicted..if you have a legit reason, it should be ok, but no matter what, don't take more than you are allowed, and keep an open dialogue with your Doc and let him know what is going on.Not trying to scare you..everyone is different..maybe I have a low tollerence for w/d's. Probably, but don't EVER quit taking X without a Doc helping you...
Hey sharron great post hun how are you doing????????? jackie xxx
Hi Sharon:
Great post, as usual my dear. When does your body start making Serotonin. I am still a lazy slob. I attribute to the drugs and the kick just being longer and harder because I'm 40. I've kicked heroin and pills a s***load of times and this time has been brutal. I've been clean since June. I dunno maybe I'm tired. I take Lexapro and drink oodles of coffee. I just want to wake up and go but I wake up and cringe and want to lay down and read.
RAchel
Great post, as usual my dear. When does your body start making Serotonin. I am still a lazy slob. I attribute to the drugs and the kick just being longer and harder because I'm 40. I've kicked heroin and pills a s***load of times and this time has been brutal. I've been clean since June. I dunno maybe I'm tired. I take Lexapro and drink oodles of coffee. I just want to wake up and go but I wake up and cringe and want to lay down and read.
RAchel
Hey Rachel, I can sure relate there, (Briar too). My lovely day has consisted of having doritos for breakfast and doing basically nothing. Don't particularly want to do anything either. If it takes a years for my serontin levels to get back to normal, well...what a thought, lol. I do admit to having days when I am really productive, it's kind of a one way or another, busy busy busy, or flat out nothing. I don't know it this has anything to do with being addicted or not, but I'v always been an extremist. If I'm cleaning, I'm doing it non stop for hours upon hours. If I'm reading a book, I finish the darn thing rather than stopping for other necessary chores. That applied to drug use too, not just a pill for me, I had to take many. Recovery was similar too, I obsessed over my recovery as well. I'm curious, how many of us are extremists in other areas of our lives as well? Much love to all, Kat
Yep i know the feeling of being lathargic also, its kida frustrating though because your brain says get up and go and your legs say oh hhh hang on girl i need rest lol. its a good job i have a job to go to or i would have prop givin up by now. But i could sleep for the whole world right now (and do at times) it will take time i know after 20 years of faulse energy my body is in confusion right now and slowly sorting itself out. jackie xxxx
HI Jackie,
Thanks so much for asking about me, and BTW I'm doing good today. How are you feeling? I enjoy your posts, they are always so full of inspiration for everyone. Another thing I admire about you is that you always have a kind thing to say to everyone and hardly ever complain about any problems that you may be having. Keep up the good work and may God bless you and look after you in your recovery.
Sincerely,
Thanks so much for asking about me, and BTW I'm doing good today. How are you feeling? I enjoy your posts, they are always so full of inspiration for everyone. Another thing I admire about you is that you always have a kind thing to say to everyone and hardly ever complain about any problems that you may be having. Keep up the good work and may God bless you and look after you in your recovery.
Sincerely,
Rachel,
I felt better after being on the anti-depressants for about 4 months and asked the addiction MD if I could stop taking them. His advice was that I should continue to take them for at least a year, since it would take that long for my brain chemistry to return to normal. My family though has a history of depression so if needed I may have to stay on them longer. Depression has been proven to be hereditary and I usually found mine to be more seasonal, like with many people, until after I became addicted to pain pills. I also had to find the right anti-depressant that would work for me, finally ending up on Paxil, which seems to be doing the job.
How are you doing? We all wish that you could come and chat with us again. We usually end up in the chat room around 11 or 12 each nite.
Anyway hope this helps some, I apologize for rambling on so much.
God bless,
I felt better after being on the anti-depressants for about 4 months and asked the addiction MD if I could stop taking them. His advice was that I should continue to take them for at least a year, since it would take that long for my brain chemistry to return to normal. My family though has a history of depression so if needed I may have to stay on them longer. Depression has been proven to be hereditary and I usually found mine to be more seasonal, like with many people, until after I became addicted to pain pills. I also had to find the right anti-depressant that would work for me, finally ending up on Paxil, which seems to be doing the job.
How are you doing? We all wish that you could come and chat with us again. We usually end up in the chat room around 11 or 12 each nite.
Anyway hope this helps some, I apologize for rambling on so much.
God bless,
Sharon,
I need you. I don't know if i can do this by myself. I'm really confused, I'm not taking anything but my mind is in an awful state. I'm confused and partially disorientated and can't seem to deal with anything. I'm helping my neighbor with her home wedding next week and have to do that because i promised. I don't know what to do, just want to crawl in bed but my kids won't let me. I wish the word mom was never invented. Love, Roe
Roe,
I just now saw your post. Kat and I are in the chat room on our board, can you come and join us? I promise we can help. If you want to send me a private email, my address is posted on the Recovery buddies site. I will be watching for you.
Love,
I just now saw your post. Kat and I are in the chat room on our board, can you come and join us? I promise we can help. If you want to send me a private email, my address is posted on the Recovery buddies site. I will be watching for you.
Love,
Hey Sharon:
I tried to get in to chat and my link doesn't work.
Rachel
I tried to get in to chat and my link doesn't work.
Rachel
hey Rachel, msn is being screwy today. Want me to send you another link? Love, Kat
Rachel,
I had trouble getting on the site earlier today, but now it is ok. I will send you another invite, just in case. Please come and chat if you can. WE will be back in chat in about 15 min. (Rus, Kat and myself).
Hope to see you there.
Love,
I had trouble getting on the site earlier today, but now it is ok. I will send you another invite, just in case. Please come and chat if you can. WE will be back in chat in about 15 min. (Rus, Kat and myself).
Hope to see you there.
Love,
Hey Briar, are you anywhere around? We're worried about you! You matter so much and we'd all love to support you in any way we can. I know this is a terrible time, but you're not alone! You have friends who care! No judgements here, nothing but total compassion and understanding! We'll be looking for you. Much love, God bless, Kat
I am so glad you posted that. I thought that I was nuts after I quit. Even after after I had been off of the meds for a month, I felt like that. I was totally overwhelmed with everything, and I could not focus. I was depressed and the fatigue seemed to go on forever.
It is getting better, but I did lose alot of my spunk. It seems as though I lost my fight in life. I just don't care about alot of things.
Another thing is I felt I was moving on compulsive instincts all of the time. I don't know if that makes sense. Anyone know what I am talking about?? It is hard to go to work and raise kids when you are like that...
Hang in there Briar. That was a good post (sorry, I forget who) gave the advice that her counselor gave her. I guess that she meant.."just do it..."
That was meant in a kind way...a little joke
kerry
It is getting better, but I did lose alot of my spunk. It seems as though I lost my fight in life. I just don't care about alot of things.
Another thing is I felt I was moving on compulsive instincts all of the time. I don't know if that makes sense. Anyone know what I am talking about?? It is hard to go to work and raise kids when you are like that...
Hang in there Briar. That was a good post (sorry, I forget who) gave the advice that her counselor gave her. I guess that she meant.."just do it..."
That was meant in a kind way...a little joke
kerry
Rosie-
Geesh, I was even getting like that at the end when I was STILL taking handfulls of pills and they didnt seem to be "doing there job" anymore. I let things "pile up"-put off everything - I'll do it later "procrastination" - Missed going to volenteer at Tonys school - you name it- and I WAS the same way (well its kinda hard being a "neat freak" when you have at least a dozen kids running in and out of your house everyday.
I have something that was pretty funny. My daugher Amanda (I paid her to clean up- cause she wanted to go to movies and had already spent her allowance) so she "straightend up the kitchen" ( we have a big island that stools go around - thats pretty much the "hangout") Anyway - she did a great job - went in to take a shower and get ready - was on her phone, etc - by the time she came out, the sink was full of glasses (again)- the counter was covered with junk (as usual), etc - you get the point. She says MOM- LOOK AT THIS MESS, I JUST CLEANED IT - All I said back to her was "join the club, sweetheart - this is what happens to me 5 times a day!!!!) Its true, in my house - not 'DIRTY" just 'MESSY' but still drives me NUTS.
You'll be fine Roseanne - how long has it been now? I wish you all the best in the world. It takes ALOT OF TIME - I gotta go take tony to school, etc. I will email you later, hon.
Love,
Marie
Geesh, I was even getting like that at the end when I was STILL taking handfulls of pills and they didnt seem to be "doing there job" anymore. I let things "pile up"-put off everything - I'll do it later "procrastination" - Missed going to volenteer at Tonys school - you name it- and I WAS the same way (well its kinda hard being a "neat freak" when you have at least a dozen kids running in and out of your house everyday.
I have something that was pretty funny. My daugher Amanda (I paid her to clean up- cause she wanted to go to movies and had already spent her allowance) so she "straightend up the kitchen" ( we have a big island that stools go around - thats pretty much the "hangout") Anyway - she did a great job - went in to take a shower and get ready - was on her phone, etc - by the time she came out, the sink was full of glasses (again)- the counter was covered with junk (as usual), etc - you get the point. She says MOM- LOOK AT THIS MESS, I JUST CLEANED IT - All I said back to her was "join the club, sweetheart - this is what happens to me 5 times a day!!!!) Its true, in my house - not 'DIRTY" just 'MESSY' but still drives me NUTS.
You'll be fine Roseanne - how long has it been now? I wish you all the best in the world. It takes ALOT OF TIME - I gotta go take tony to school, etc. I will email you later, hon.
Love,
Marie
