Anyone Please Help I Am So Afraid

My daughter is 2 and her father is an addict to heroin. He will not admitt it nor will he seek help.
9 months ago I told him to free us of this misery, so he left.

Now he wants joint custody and unsupervised visits.

HOW DO I PROTECT MY DAUGHTER?------

I do not have 1500-2000 dollars for a retainer fee. I am dong this alone.

How do I prove he is using--LIKE THE COURT TOLD ME TODAY IT IS MY WORD AGAINST HIS.
I asked for temporary custody until we go to court I was denied. Even tough I told them all about the drugs and he is also legally blind, lives in a building with 22 floors of drugs, guns, prostitution and some of everything.

His od a year ago is protected by our NEW YORK HIPPA LAWS--MY ONLY PROOF THAT HE WAS USING.
THE DRUGS IN MY DAUGHTER'S ROOM WELL MY WORD AGAINST HIS.
I CALLED CPS (CHILD PROTECTION) WHILE IN HIS CARE IF HE IS HI AND THERE IS ANOTHER ADULT THAT IS NOT UNDER THE INFLUENCE HE IS NOT ACTING IN A NEGLECTFUL MANNER.

THE laws are not in my daughters favor

HOW HOW HOW DO I PROTECT HER????

Suggestions, advice, whatever you can offer help please I have called all around for help no one has offered anything besides try this agency, I even called partners for a DRUG FREE AMERICA I basically asked if we could start one house at a time.
I am so afraid to let her go with him. I thought 9 months ago the nightmare ended but here I am faced with the terror of HEROIN.

HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP


Try to get another court appearance asap. In court demand a urine test. By law in all states, if he is "dirty" he cannot have custody of your child, nor any unspervised visits. Call legal aid. If you cannot afford a lawyer, they will give you one. Go to your area District Attorney'sNarcotics division. Tell them your story, they have great legal advice and may be able to help.

Good luck... hang in there.
Vivian
This is a horrible story. But there has to be a solution for you, simply because you are doing the right thing to protect your daughter. The HIPAA laws do not grant 100% protection, there are permitted exclusions to this and one of them is when information is requested in judicial and administrative proceedings. You probably will need an attorney to assist you and Id start with Legal Aid since it sounds as though you might not be able to pay for one. Here is a link to their site. http://www.legal-aid.org/indexStatic.htm Click on offices and locations in NYC. If youre not in the city, Im sure they can help you find the nearest location to you. They do work pro bono so hopefully that would work out for you. They have a Child Protection Division that sounds perfect to at least explain what your options are.
I would ask who told you that HIPAA protected him completely? Did he tell you that or someone in the court system? And the person at Child Protective Services should find a new job; thats disgraceful.
Good luck to you and please let us know how this turns out for you.
THANKYOU FOR YOUR REPLIES.
LEGAL AID I DO NOT QUALIFY FOR BECAUSE I OWN A HOUSE. BUT I AM PRAYING THAT VERA HOUSE THE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SPECTRUM OF LEGAL AID MAY ASSIST ME. THEY HAVE SOME SPECIFIC GUIDE LINES AND BECAUSE HE NEVER HIT ME THE VIOLENCE ASPECT OF MY REQUEST IS WEAK.
I WILL NOT GIVE UP. IWILL FIGHT WITH ALL I HAVE THE TRUETH SHALL SET YOU FREE SO ON THAT PREMISE ALONE I KNOW I CAN BEAT THIS. IJUST HAVE TO PRESENT THE TRUETH. I WILL BE TEARING THE HIPPA LAWS TO SHREDS TO FIND A LOOP WHOLE.
AGAIN THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUGGESTIONS.
AND RE CPS I WAS TALKING TO A COP AND TOLD HIM WHAT THEY SAID, HE SAID THAT HE SEES IT ALL DAY. THEY REPORT TO CPS ONLY TO TURN AROUND AND SEE KIDS IN THE SAME SITUATION. NY HATES TO TAKE KIDS FROM THEIR PARENTS.
PEDOFILES EVEN GET CUSTODY.
IT IS A SHAME.
move asap
do you mean out of state?
Like what vivian said, get a urine test. I think that could be your only option to prove your word against his. If that doesn't work for some reason, MOVE. Doesn't matter where, just anywhere away from him. It's not worth risking the life of your child for that s***. You've lived in this hell for long enough and the last thing you want is your child growing up with this kind of environment. It's always the little ones that should come first.
Is he denying that he is or has used??? If not, wire yourself. GO to one of those places that sell spyware stuff. Get him alone and go over the past....get everything on tape and then submit that to the courts. I know....easier said than done, but what have you got to lose?? Tape a conversation over the phone....anything.

Good luck.
No he has only admitted it once, while lying in the hospital after an od and the dr kept asking what did you take you are on yur way to ICU. You need to tell us before it is to late. Ony then did he admit it and that will be 2 yrs ago 3/01.

The drugs I found in my daughters room he denies, the bag I found in the bathroom well I guess the people who lived here three years ago left it behind.

I know he always uses on the first everyone in his building just about uses on the first. Mostly all of them are on SSI or SSD or public assistance so it is one big party. So I thought I would call a Private Investigator to catch him but how much can they really catch. I don't have alot of money and what I do have will have to go to a lawyer.

Thankyou for your advice. But I am not to hopefull I have been reading some info on other sites and well parents rights are very seldom compromised. I want to know what about my daughters rights I may as a last resort go to the newspaper and television. Some one has to take a stand for our children.

My God we have our troops in afganhastan fighting terrorism, what about the terrorism that plagues our families with these horrible drugs.

The nightmare must end soon.
Iwas denied temporary custody, the court clerk told me that my allegations will be argued on March 5 and that they can not just take my word for his drug use. That is why they have court dates.

Well I was approved for the domestic violence lawyer but she had the nerve to say that my expectations for him were to high. Needless to say I filed my taxes today and will use that to retain a lawyer that will fight for my daughter.

I called the da office ther is no narcotic division in our city, But I called a PI he told me it would be hard and expensive to prove drug use, but he told me to call the police informant line and tell them that he uses and that he lives in a drug bldg that is currently under investigation. So I did and I don't want to see him get arrested but It may be the only way to protect her. I pray he comes clean and to his senses.
Thanks for all your input any more suggestions please let me know.
Hello, well court has begun and the judge has ordered supervised visits for a month and a social investigation. But I don't think the law gaurdian is convinced of his drug use, he admitted to the ONE TIME USE when he od'd (said it was due too family problems). But how do I let the gaurdian know when all I know is from living with him.
He went on his own supposedly and had a drug test and passed it although it was not ordered by the court, so my lawyer would not except it stating it was not radom.
Any suggestions on how to prove his use would be helpful. Thankyou
Ok, this sounds really stupid but are there any other non-drug related issues with his parenting? I am currently fighting a similar battle with my brother-in-law's kids. They are so screwed up b/c of his heroin use and the child "protective" services won't even check out the situation because "there are a lot of parents who use heroin and still manage to be good parents" (direct quote). BUT if the drug use contributes to other neglect issues such as inadequate supervision, unsafe living conditions, not enough food, lack of heat, etc. then they will investigate. I personally think all this kind of comes along with being an addict, but not everyone sees it that way. Heroin turns good people evil. But anyway, maybe you should document any past cases of neglect to add to your case so you can show them how his heroin use is a danger to your daughter. Keep fighting for court ordered random drug tests. Good luck.
well he is legally blind, i found drugs in my daughters closet, and i never left them alone with him because I knew he could not really take care of them properly. He lives is a drug bldg and has subsidized rent and heat is included, but he has a criminal history that can pose some doubt and he can't really handle my duaghter so hopefully the supervisors will be able to catch this. thanks and good luck with your situation also.
our first visit is monday i will see how that goes.
I have read the other replies and all contain good info., but there still seems to be the question of his addiction.I am 25 years old and have a 2 year-old daughter myself. I have only used heroin once... on and off for eight years. I am only saying this to offer hope that some people can and do clean up when they are ready to do so. Outside pressure from the courts, family, etc., and even the thought of a daughter who needs a father all play influential roles in this gentleman's theoretical sobriety, but only hje can make the decision ultimately. I guess what I am saying, and not very wel, is that although the problem will not go away on it's own, it is possible for it to be remedied through his detox if it's a route he is ever ready for, and it sounds like you may be one the only people able to help him determine if it is even plausible. I only suggest keeping an open mind and not erasing the possiblity of recovery on his part nor throwing away dreams of family vacations in years future and run right for the red tape out of fear and misunderstanding. You have every reason in the world to be frightened/ concerned by the scenario and I wish you the best of luck in finding a way out, but I know from experience that he has equalled fear/ pain and I doubt if many people ever think about or suggest his options and remind him that being thrown out and hidden from doesnt have to remain his only option. I would gladly answer any questions that I am qualified by experience as an ex-addict for anyone, and hope the best for you all, but please, at least do not forget so quickly that there are no monsters, we are all human, pain exists for us all in life, and that miracles can and do happen.

J.D.K.
Phoenix, AZ
oh i do see his pain and his struggles and i do know that if he could he would do it different. But he is still in denial and I sometime wonder if he has convinced himself that he doesn't use or that it is even a problem. I was just going thru the savings account records from march, april, may, and june and he went through six thousand dollars in four months, he doesnt know that the bank was still sending them here after he left and i just put them to the side but i can not believe that.i hope and pray he does recover because my daughter needs her father
I thankyou for your response but one thing that i will never do again is live his lie I know it is up to him and only him
Just know he's probably not doing it to intentionally hurt you or himself. Hind-sight is always... well, you know. Good luck to you both.
J.in AZ