after u been past wds & its been a while since u used, wn u r used to medicating urself everyday,: apathy keeps creeping up a lot, anybody dealt with this- getting and keeping urself motivated when sometimes, a lot of times, u jost dont care or feel like doing anything.
Browndog -
This is my 6th day off of vics so I'm not sure of how long of a clean period you are looking for, but I notice that even though my legs don't hurt (though my back still does) and the skin crawling is gone, the diarhea is gone, I still don't want to do anything at all. Like I've said in my previous posts... my house has been a wreck for a last few days and I cannot even think about cleaning it up. I did do some laundry but that's because I absolutely HAD to! I have noticed that if I can talk myself into getting up and getting out, I get a little more energy and my mind isn't constantly on the vic. I do so much better when I am at work. My friend at work told me Friday that she thought I broke down and took one with the way I was. Your body is a machine, and the longer you go without using it, the more it won't work. Just like a car that was running fine until you stopped driving it for a few weeks. The body, just like the car.. is meant to be driven. I hope that helps... or at least makes sense.
K
This is my 6th day off of vics so I'm not sure of how long of a clean period you are looking for, but I notice that even though my legs don't hurt (though my back still does) and the skin crawling is gone, the diarhea is gone, I still don't want to do anything at all. Like I've said in my previous posts... my house has been a wreck for a last few days and I cannot even think about cleaning it up. I did do some laundry but that's because I absolutely HAD to! I have noticed that if I can talk myself into getting up and getting out, I get a little more energy and my mind isn't constantly on the vic. I do so much better when I am at work. My friend at work told me Friday that she thought I broke down and took one with the way I was. Your body is a machine, and the longer you go without using it, the more it won't work. Just like a car that was running fine until you stopped driving it for a few weeks. The body, just like the car.. is meant to be driven. I hope that helps... or at least makes sense.
K
Moonryser,
Thats solid advice you gave there.Tomorrow will be my sixth day C/t and I to feel better but tired from very little sleep. I went on a two mile bike ride today and to the beach and oh yes i was tired but its like you say if you do not use it you will lose it. I know its easier said than done however we have to try.Anyway keep up the good work.
TH
Thats solid advice you gave there.Tomorrow will be my sixth day C/t and I to feel better but tired from very little sleep. I went on a two mile bike ride today and to the beach and oh yes i was tired but its like you say if you do not use it you will lose it. I know its easier said than done however we have to try.Anyway keep up the good work.
TH
Hey Moonryser, you're getting there! A little a time, but you're doing it! It's so wonderful to see your progress. It's just inspiring to watch you continue despite it not always being so easy. You've just got to come chat with us sometime.There are so many who would be encouraged by you. If you'd ever like to just let me know and I'll send you a link. We have such a ball over there. Sometimes just laughing and talking with people in the same boat makes all the difference. It would be really cool to get to know you on a personal level also. Friends really make it all so much easier. Sometimes I don't know how I'd make it without them. Anyway, keep up the great work!!! I'm pulling for you and keeping you in my prayers! Much love and God bless, Kat
Hi ya browndog, apathy and many more emotions we feel as addicts are also experienced by non-addicts too hun so dealing with it and sorting it out is what is required. I assumed once i stopped taking pills i would become this ray of sunshine with no ailments lol yeah right it takes ages to recover and you are still left with the real you so if it means you are apathetic at times then so be it learn to adapt hun im trying too and its not easy to adjust and sort how how your feeling and how you thought or think you should feel. hope this helps jackie xxxxx
Apathy is my middle name some days...lol..I thought that it was only me.
Hey Good Morning Kerry - Hi Dog!!!
I was just checking in and saw your post - can only stay on for a min. My kids want Dunkin Donuts - so we have to leave early. I guess I could go for a cappucino. Hope you guys had a great weekend. I'll post more later. I'm doing good. Hope u are too. I know Mondays suck :o)
At least the Miami Dophins finally won a game!!!! So did Tampa!
So both kids are wearing there Jerseys today! I know this is off topic, but just wanted to say HI!! TTYL
Love,
Marie
I was just checking in and saw your post - can only stay on for a min. My kids want Dunkin Donuts - so we have to leave early. I guess I could go for a cappucino. Hope you guys had a great weekend. I'll post more later. I'm doing good. Hope u are too. I know Mondays suck :o)
At least the Miami Dophins finally won a game!!!! So did Tampa!
So both kids are wearing there Jerseys today! I know this is off topic, but just wanted to say HI!! TTYL
Love,
Marie
Yah, I'm a little more than 5 months out and can relate to the apathy feeling, especially as it relates to my profession. Feeling like making a big change, only to what? I seem to go round and round on it, but in the end, there just doesn't seem to be much that I really desire or want to pursue right now....so the status quo is better than doing something foolish. M.
Hi none for me maybe you do want to acheive more but being apathetic makes you talk yourself out of it lol its strange these emotions of ours but learning to sort them out is a real challenge dont you think especially sinse we have been a bit numb for while?. jackie xxx
Dog,
maybe you need not to worry about keeping yourself motivated... go to a meeting and concentrate on those that are in the same boat as you and see those that are a few steps behind you and offer a hand up ..a few words of encouragement .... I found early on that giving away what little bit of recovery I had boosted my own and helped motivate me in other ways... made me see the future in a new light by seeing the past a spring board not a hammock....
just a thought .... btw.. I still have days where I am not the most motivated ... sometime I think that is just life being life and we are all trying to life it on its terms .... clean.... some days it is a struggle but it will get to a point where you wont think first thing off the bat.. 'man i wish i could just take a little something''.... what a blessing that is in itself to be free from those thoughts,,, but we just have to wait for the miracle...
God Bless
Teresa
maybe you need not to worry about keeping yourself motivated... go to a meeting and concentrate on those that are in the same boat as you and see those that are a few steps behind you and offer a hand up ..a few words of encouragement .... I found early on that giving away what little bit of recovery I had boosted my own and helped motivate me in other ways... made me see the future in a new light by seeing the past a spring board not a hammock....
just a thought .... btw.. I still have days where I am not the most motivated ... sometime I think that is just life being life and we are all trying to life it on its terms .... clean.... some days it is a struggle but it will get to a point where you wont think first thing off the bat.. 'man i wish i could just take a little something''.... what a blessing that is in itself to be free from those thoughts,,, but we just have to wait for the miracle...
God Bless
Teresa
Thanks for all the good advice, wn I think back a long time ago, i think i even then had a problem with apathy, but i seem to remember a spunk for life, of course thats going back to about 14 or so, when the mystery and excitement was there. I don't know if it was drugs that killed it, or it was was dying when i started using, buth honestly, inside a lot of times there is a lot of emptiness & nothingness , though there is still joy in hearing about good things to other people, & watching my dogs & children play, but really joining in and being a part of -- I force it but it doesn't work. I'm not crying here, just expressing, cause there is no where else i comfortably feel able to do it then somewhere like here, where I'm unknown. Meetings are a good thing I think, I just usually don't like em & hearing the same thing over & over & over: I know thats wrong, but it's me. Thanks for the help guys.
Browndog im pleased you have found somewhere you can express yourself, your so right about meetings being repetitive but sometimes we need to retrain our brain a bit like when we are children and sometimes repetitive works for some hun. Anyway getting back to you maybe you need to rearly look in side the real you and find out more about you has a person being a grown up is never easy but sometimes we just need to relive things for a while, sort out what are your dreams asperations etc. talking through stuff helps great deal because we come across things that we never actually knew about ourselves. take care hun im listening to ya jackie xxxx
Dog, I hear where you are coming from. It seems I just lost my fight...that is so not me. I feel like nothing really matters sometimes, and there is no excitement left in me. I think it is a chemical thing with opiates. I am really curious if anyone out there knows from a medical science standpoint if it gets better, or we have permanently burned out our natural happy chemicals. Another poster says that it can take up to a year to get the seretonin levels back up.
MARIEE..How were the donuts?? We just got Krispy Kreme...who needs a drive through window for donuts???? lol...
MARIEE..How were the donuts?? We just got Krispy Kreme...who needs a drive through window for donuts???? lol...
Browndog, yesterday was a 100% apathetic day for me...I literally had to take it minute by minute to get through the day. I am in your shoes completely and for me, this is the worst part, not the withdrawals. I guess just take it one day, one hour, one minute (like me) at a time if you have to.
You are not alone
You are not alone
Browndog how you doing today hun???????? jackie xx
I'm ok , thanks for asking. Someone asked if we burned out all our "happy ..something" I do know a little tiny bit about some of the pharmalogical (sounds pretty fancy huh) or whatever of what happens the first year. I'f u can find the right medical book & work ur way thru it I think you will find it. I learned this recently from a drug counselor & confirmed it with a shrink. I never researched it first hand. That being said:
The brain always tries to equalize itself
when you use opiates it floods the opiate receptors, thus the high
The brain realizes its being flooded with all this stuff so it actually creates new receptors, to level itself out.
We opiate addicts, being so creative & ambitious as we are, increase our intake & then new receptors are formed so we up our dose, & it continues until who knows when ( I guess we figure that out when we stop or die)
When we quit one of the things that happens ( & I dont know if this has anything to do with WD's- if anyone can clarify that part I'd sure be interested)
is the receptors are waiting for their usual, which never comes. Now the kind of cool thing is this, as time goes on, weeks, months & concludes from 6 months to a year, these receptors begin to close up.
Each time one does, there are symptoms, sometimes euphoria, sometimes dysphoria, sometimes hot flashes, & sometimes a man gets to learn what it feels like to be a woman going through menapause.
Thats about as much as I know about this & you would probably do well to verify it from another source even though I'm pretty sure I got it right.
So I think there is plenty of happiness ahead, & my apathy that I sometimes have to fight goes beyond them. As a matter of fact probably a lot of my self medication had to do with motivation ( I remember always selling better a long time ago with vikes & perks, etc.).
Thanks for your concern, just cause we want to get better & do the right thing doesn't make it easy, even when things are going good. & when they aren't going so good, well even though we feel like G-d should change the universe for us, He doesn't, though I tend to think He might help us more then we know, even if we don't feel it.
But then again, that still doesn't make you all that "happy" just maybe objectively a little more hopeful.
The brain always tries to equalize itself
when you use opiates it floods the opiate receptors, thus the high
The brain realizes its being flooded with all this stuff so it actually creates new receptors, to level itself out.
We opiate addicts, being so creative & ambitious as we are, increase our intake & then new receptors are formed so we up our dose, & it continues until who knows when ( I guess we figure that out when we stop or die)
When we quit one of the things that happens ( & I dont know if this has anything to do with WD's- if anyone can clarify that part I'd sure be interested)
is the receptors are waiting for their usual, which never comes. Now the kind of cool thing is this, as time goes on, weeks, months & concludes from 6 months to a year, these receptors begin to close up.
Each time one does, there are symptoms, sometimes euphoria, sometimes dysphoria, sometimes hot flashes, & sometimes a man gets to learn what it feels like to be a woman going through menapause.
Thats about as much as I know about this & you would probably do well to verify it from another source even though I'm pretty sure I got it right.
So I think there is plenty of happiness ahead, & my apathy that I sometimes have to fight goes beyond them. As a matter of fact probably a lot of my self medication had to do with motivation ( I remember always selling better a long time ago with vikes & perks, etc.).
Thanks for your concern, just cause we want to get better & do the right thing doesn't make it easy, even when things are going good. & when they aren't going so good, well even though we feel like G-d should change the universe for us, He doesn't, though I tend to think He might help us more then we know, even if we don't feel it.
But then again, that still doesn't make you all that "happy" just maybe objectively a little more hopeful.
Browndog thx for the very informative post i enjoyed reading it particulary the bit about men facing menapause wooooooooooooooooooooooo lol shouldent laugh but cracked me up see how they like it. just kidding you but it struck me funny so thx for the cheer up. Im pleased you are researching info i would be intersted in any info you have it makes good reading im not a wiz at comp and dont have time for liberary many thx again jackie xxxxx
Nice explanation, Browndog. I especially liked that part about the guys learning what it feels like to go through menopause. I heard a comedian say the other night that his wife is going through menopause and oh, how he yearns for the good old days of PMS!
I think you are right that eventually there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that your brain chemistry starts to even out. I also so think that when we do not hang on and make it to the other side, that is, if we finally rationalize it by saying that a little bit is OK, we send our brain mixed signals and it starts to rebuild those receptors again.
I also liked what you said about things not necessarily getting better just because we are doing the right thing. I think it takes a lot of hard work to undo some of the things that some of us have done in the past.
In any event, thanks for your post.
August
I think you are right that eventually there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that your brain chemistry starts to even out. I also so think that when we do not hang on and make it to the other side, that is, if we finally rationalize it by saying that a little bit is OK, we send our brain mixed signals and it starts to rebuild those receptors again.
I also liked what you said about things not necessarily getting better just because we are doing the right thing. I think it takes a lot of hard work to undo some of the things that some of us have done in the past.
In any event, thanks for your post.
August
Thanks for the post, Dog. I knew there was a sceintific explanation for the apathy.
I especially like the part about menopause....I wish there was a withdrawl that would make you men feel pregnancy as well....
and pms
and giving birth
okay, I could go on, but I will stop there before I get booted...or hated.
I especially like the part about menopause....I wish there was a withdrawl that would make you men feel pregnancy as well....
and pms
and giving birth
okay, I could go on, but I will stop there before I get booted...or hated.
OK all u compasionate ladies, men aren't supposed to feel those things cause , well we're just not (remember we're not the ones who messed with the apple in the first place) . But stuff like menapuse childbirth, etc, etc, u gotta be kidding me- if men had to go thru all that stuff, why I gotta believe every man alive would probably be on this page, because as u all know, it's not that we're not tough enough, we just don't have all those natural endorphins that girls always have flowin thru them when though go thru that stuff. Ah ha, thats what its about, u ladies r probably always naturally hight, & u just wanted more, whereas us poor guys, not having that natural high and succeptable to all that excess stress and pain probably just started using in innocence. I finally figured it out.
