Are You Happy Today Not Using?

Yes, I am really bored.
I thought my life was wonderful when I first started abusing pills. I don't know when things started going down hill but they did in a few short years. My life has changed so much I can't imagine ever going back to that so-called life I was living. Yes, there are times when I would like to take a pill to relax but I know where that would lead me and it's not a craving to get high like it was but a desire to relax physically. It passes quickly and I don't romanticize it like I did in early sobriety. There is no way I want my old life even before the pills. I like my new life too much.
Well, I didn't ever really have joy or peace of mind or serenity until I got clean & sober....

I spent many, many years chasing a high, trying to fill that void and today, I've found the answer and I am happy, I do have joy most of the time and I try to be grateful all of the time....

But there are high stress days at work or in life, for a moment, that thought passes through my head, God, I could use a drink to relax but that's all the time it gets, that moment, then it's a quick prayer to God to take over....and I get my butt to a meeting that night...LOL

Recovery is new to me, but I am already feeling MUCH better. Today I dealt with a family member who is still in the game. He is freaking because he is out of pills. I do not want to go back to that. After six months, I wasn't even getting the high anymore. The first few months were great, but I learned the hard way that the price is death or insanity. I had no peace......no hapiness. I will only get that through sobriety......really feeling life. I am grateful to be in recovery.

Jer
Ahh, the good old days of waking up with a pill being my first thought, counting the days until I would be doubled over with stomach cramps because I'd run out, deciding which bill could be put off so that I could fund somebody's new pool, the sweet memories just go on and on, lol.
Seriously, am I happy? In general I think I am. I have my good and bad days like everyone else. I know definately that I'm not miserable and every day living with that old obsession is miserable.
Not a bad poll at all, FK. Sometimes it's good to recall that we were once in a place not as good as the one we're in now.
xxxxoooo
I wouldn't change a thing...I am as happy as I can be right now. Do I want to be an addict? No, but I'm ok with being an addict in recovery. I'm a better person for it. At least I think I am...