A basic belief is that assertion rather than manipulation, submission or hostility enriches life and ultimately leads to more satisfying personal relationships with people. Personal relationships are hurt are when we try to control others through hostility, intimidation or guilt. This can be expanded into:
1. By standing up for ourselves and letting ourselves be known to others, we gain self-respect and respect from others.
2. In sacrificing integrity and denying personal feelings, relationships are usually damaged or prevented from developing.
3. By expressing ourselves directly and honestly (gentle, respectful honesty), everyone benefits in the long run.
4. Not letting others know how or what we think or feel is just as selfish as not attending to other people's thought and feelings.
5. When we sacrifice our rights, we teach other people to take advantage of us.
6. By being assertive and telling other people how their behaviour affects us, we are giving them the opportunity to change their behaviour. We are showing respect for their right to know where they stand with us.
BRAVO
WW-
Right, chance and choice. Give them the chance to make an honest decision and let them make their own choice. As long as you make the consequences of those decisions clear then you need have no hesitation or guilt in delivering them. When acting as a parent, it can be forcefully asserted (argued, if you will) that you have a responsibility to do just that. When dealing with other adults failure to do so will just result in a loss of self esteem/respect, most often with negative effect to ones own self.
Mountian time huh? Guess I need to look at a map. Man and I KNEW there was gonna be a quiz later!
lol.
Right, chance and choice. Give them the chance to make an honest decision and let them make their own choice. As long as you make the consequences of those decisions clear then you need have no hesitation or guilt in delivering them. When acting as a parent, it can be forcefully asserted (argued, if you will) that you have a responsibility to do just that. When dealing with other adults failure to do so will just result in a loss of self esteem/respect, most often with negative effect to ones own self.
Mountian time huh? Guess I need to look at a map. Man and I KNEW there was gonna be a quiz later!
lol.
Thanks guys, it feels so great to be working through my stuff instead of wallowing in self-pity.
I found out with HUGE surprise that I'm actually very shy.....hence the anxiety. I've met a few potheads in my life who are actually deep-down shy, themselves.
Assertiveness is a biggie for me.
Jamv, are you getting lots of TLC ?
Hippie, yeah we're beside BC. :-) I did some hard assertive work today....my little guy noticed and said, "Mom, you're too much sensitive." Hubby, piped in and told him that it was ok because "that's who mommy is and I like her that way."
I found out with HUGE surprise that I'm actually very shy.....hence the anxiety. I've met a few potheads in my life who are actually deep-down shy, themselves.
Assertiveness is a biggie for me.
Jamv, are you getting lots of TLC ?
Hippie, yeah we're beside BC. :-) I did some hard assertive work today....my little guy noticed and said, "Mom, you're too much sensitive." Hubby, piped in and told him that it was ok because "that's who mommy is and I like her that way."
Thanks for asking!
I am finally able to do a few things for myself which is nice. It has been hell, more so than I would have ever imagined. I guess I thought laproscopic would make it easy,, duh.
NOT!
My guts were still cut on so it hurts like hell. Hubby has been great and a little frazzled after last weekend, when i was writhing in pain while he changed my dressings.
I got my drain tube pulled Friday and feel like a new woman. Starting to eat a little better, it is hard to get in all the protein I need.
Honestly, I just feel weird. Not myself.
I am taking an extra week off from work so that will help, wondering what to tell people that ask why i was off and what is with the weight loss.
I work for a large company and gossip runs rampant. I guess it is partially my own denial that leads me to want to keep it private. Too I am not as large as most people that have this surgery so... even at the hospital, the staff would comment on why I was so drastic. So I know I will get met with comments that I am not up to handling.
the bottom line is with my height my BMI met qualifications and Dr. and insurance deemed medically necessary.
I dunno.
Good news is my asthma has been great.
WW,,, tell your hubby to look up the data on asthma and pot use. It will get him in the end. when is the last time he had a chest xray????
I am finally able to do a few things for myself which is nice. It has been hell, more so than I would have ever imagined. I guess I thought laproscopic would make it easy,, duh.
NOT!
My guts were still cut on so it hurts like hell. Hubby has been great and a little frazzled after last weekend, when i was writhing in pain while he changed my dressings.
I got my drain tube pulled Friday and feel like a new woman. Starting to eat a little better, it is hard to get in all the protein I need.
Honestly, I just feel weird. Not myself.
I am taking an extra week off from work so that will help, wondering what to tell people that ask why i was off and what is with the weight loss.
I work for a large company and gossip runs rampant. I guess it is partially my own denial that leads me to want to keep it private. Too I am not as large as most people that have this surgery so... even at the hospital, the staff would comment on why I was so drastic. So I know I will get met with comments that I am not up to handling.
the bottom line is with my height my BMI met qualifications and Dr. and insurance deemed medically necessary.
I dunno.
Good news is my asthma has been great.
WW,,, tell your hubby to look up the data on asthma and pot use. It will get him in the end. when is the last time he had a chest xray????
jamv- glad you are taking another week, glad you are feeling better too. sounds like it's a haul but next you'll have to explain weight loss, not too bad a thing to have to explain after all you've been thru! you go..... just keep looking ahead!
can't wait for pics when you are feeling better:)
ww- keep posting your stuff, i love it. i like your new aviator but i will miss "keep off the grass"!!!
hippie- glad you are here .....hope you are having a good weekend.
on to this sunday! here hubbie has to go to a 'wake' and i'm here with the little one, planning a fun day with lots of activity ...... one of my new years promises i haven't got to yet, activity :)
enjoy all....
-jojo
can't wait for pics when you are feeling better:)
ww- keep posting your stuff, i love it. i like your new aviator but i will miss "keep off the grass"!!!
hippie- glad you are here .....hope you are having a good weekend.
on to this sunday! here hubbie has to go to a 'wake' and i'm here with the little one, planning a fun day with lots of activity ...... one of my new years promises i haven't got to yet, activity :)
enjoy all....
-jojo
a real wake is a good thing!
and a fake wake kinda freaky???
Jamv, is it really anybody's biz ? I'm not familiar with workplace scenes LOL.
I mean talk about boundaries. :-)
Hope your healing happens more sooner than later !
I'll tell my husband about the pot/asthma thing, yet again. Then I'll tell him to get a chest xray. If I have to get a sigmoidoscopy, then he can do a little xray. Geez . :-)
I mean talk about boundaries. :-)
Hope your healing happens more sooner than later !
I'll tell my husband about the pot/asthma thing, yet again. Then I'll tell him to get a chest xray. If I have to get a sigmoidoscopy, then he can do a little xray. Geez . :-)
JoJo - accountability works wonders in recovery. :-) I look forward to hearing about your activity. I'll hold you to it, gently, of course. I don't want to appear controlling or anything. Oops was that sarcasm ? Nope, not really. LOL
I'm glad you love my new avatar. It reminded me of my husband and I. :-) Sorry about your husbands recent loss. :-(
I'm glad you love my new avatar. It reminded me of my husband and I. :-) Sorry about your husbands recent loss. :-(
