August your an inspiration to me jackie xxxxxxxx
Thanks August,
I'm not going to worry about withdrawals, I imagine the worst of it will be depression. Aches and Pains is no big deal to me. My biggest fear is that I will get suicidal again. That is what made me take the pills in the first place. Better to take my chances with those then knowing that I was going to end my life at any time. I would be driving along and just out of the blue turn the steering wheel at a tree. Now I am seeing that these pills are taking me to the same place as I was at the start of using again. I still feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place here.
I'm not going to worry about withdrawals, I imagine the worst of it will be depression. Aches and Pains is no big deal to me. My biggest fear is that I will get suicidal again. That is what made me take the pills in the first place. Better to take my chances with those then knowing that I was going to end my life at any time. I would be driving along and just out of the blue turn the steering wheel at a tree. Now I am seeing that these pills are taking me to the same place as I was at the start of using again. I still feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place here.
I struggled with those kinds of thoughts when I still used. Luckily, I had an excellent therapist to help me with those issues. It is money well spent, IMHO.
August
August
What is IMHO? I can't find a good therapist here. I've tried all the programs close to me that would take somebody who doesn't have insurance. They're not any good. Not like the one I was at in the City. You probably won't believe me with this but I honestly think they don't really care.
I'm going to give it a fight on my own again. I might get to some meetings but not going to counseling anymore. I rather just be dead then to go to these people again. Why won't God just pull me out? Well I'm off here for the night. G'nite August.
I'm going to give it a fight on my own again. I might get to some meetings but not going to counseling anymore. I rather just be dead then to go to these people again. Why won't God just pull me out? Well I'm off here for the night. G'nite August.
Liz:
I was exactly where you are. I was worried about my job, could I make it if I kicked on the weekend and had to work on Monday? I finally surrendered. I took time off from work, something I have never done, for depression. I laid around sick and achey. I think it would have been better if I had to be somewhere because all I did was think. Think about the pills, getting loaded. I wanted to be clean so bad. I was going to meetings and I finally bit the bullet. The good news is once it's over it's over. You never have to go back there again. I prayed a lot and that's what I continue to do. You are in my thoughts. Be good to yourself.
R
I was exactly where you are. I was worried about my job, could I make it if I kicked on the weekend and had to work on Monday? I finally surrendered. I took time off from work, something I have never done, for depression. I laid around sick and achey. I think it would have been better if I had to be somewhere because all I did was think. Think about the pills, getting loaded. I wanted to be clean so bad. I was going to meetings and I finally bit the bullet. The good news is once it's over it's over. You never have to go back there again. I prayed a lot and that's what I continue to do. You are in my thoughts. Be good to yourself.
R
Thank you for the post Rachel, I'll beat this.
August I'm going to take your advice. I'm going to be checking into getting health insurance and find a therapist that I hope I can be comfortable with as I was with the one I used to have when I lived in the city. Well I'm off to bed, I have to get up early for work.
August I'm going to take your advice. I'm going to be checking into getting health insurance and find a therapist that I hope I can be comfortable with as I was with the one I used to have when I lived in the city. Well I'm off to bed, I have to get up early for work.
