Hey August. I'm writing to you a lot because I think you are the most experienced in all of this. And you seem very wise in your words. I went to an N/A meeting last night and it seemed everyone already knew each other and no one welcomed me or said much of anything to me. I don't plan on going back. Is it possible to stay on track without meetings? Are there books out there to read to keep my head in check?
Sugarbear, your experience with the NA meeting is not uncommon. Most of the people there know each other extremely well and they have bonded very tightly. They are also addicts and just like you and me, they often have trouble reaching beyond the familiar and thus often cling tightly to those they know.
I strongly urge you to give it another try. If you live in a city, try a different meeting. I was a brooks brothers type with tie dyed underwear when I first started and I attended a meeting that looked like a refugee camp for the hells angels. I did not feel particularly welcome and looking back on it, I can see that my own inherent shyness contributed to that fact. I went back and with each time, more and more people approached me. I had to take some risks, like walking up to people and saying hello, I am new here.
Eventually I started shopping meetings and finally found one that really felt right. That became my home group at about three weeks sober and it remains my home group to this very day.
Sugarbear, please, I urge you to give the meetings a good long try,
Gotta go
I strongly urge you to give it another try. If you live in a city, try a different meeting. I was a brooks brothers type with tie dyed underwear when I first started and I attended a meeting that looked like a refugee camp for the hells angels. I did not feel particularly welcome and looking back on it, I can see that my own inherent shyness contributed to that fact. I went back and with each time, more and more people approached me. I had to take some risks, like walking up to people and saying hello, I am new here.
Eventually I started shopping meetings and finally found one that really felt right. That became my home group at about three weeks sober and it remains my home group to this very day.
Sugarbear, please, I urge you to give the meetings a good long try,
Gotta go
Thanks August. maybe I will. I'm a shy person, as well, so it's very hard for me to walk up to people and start talking, but I guess I'll have to take some risks of my own. And I'll probably make some friends in the end. Thanks---Jessica
