Hello people, I am at a loss right now. You see my b/f of 5 yrs has been taking oxycontin for about 8 months now, says he tried it out of curiousity,and got hooked after only a few times.
We started to experience relationship problems about 6 months ago, he started to avoid me all the time, and also our sex life became nothing. i thought it was me, that perhaps i had gained too much weight(19.5lbs), anyways i'd question and get no answers accept that he would say he loves me very much and can't lose me. he would cry and beg me for for some more time to get through big depression(hidden addiction). I love him very much so i stayed. but it only got worse, communication completely broke down.
Anyways all came to a stop 4 days ago, because he disappeared, i called his cell and all he told me was is he is with a friend and out of town for a bit.I freakd out and told him to not bother calling me again whenever he and his new friend got back. Went out after work and left my cell at home. Did that so he could not get a hold of me. But when i got home very late that night i saw all his begging, pleadiing, suicidal text messages. Said he had a lot to tell me, and that it would break my heart.IT DID! But now i understand a bit but still terrified from all my research on this topic.
He went away to get help, and is now on a weaning schedule. His friend seems very knowledgible on this addiction. He was taking 8 tabs @ 80 mils a day to keep his withdrawls at bay before he left and his will to live was depleting fast as was his wallet, and is now at 3 tabs a day. His friend was also giving him sleeping pills to get through the night. He also told me he had tried to quit on his own 5 times but was unsuccessful, and if this don't work he is more than willing to go away to detox and treatment. As he has 4 children (19 to 10) living at home. He is worth loving very much. We all are part of his will to fight and live.
Now what can I do to help him fight this horribly frightening addiction? How do I get through this?
Hi lonelydawn,
You should go to the "pain pill" board and post again. There's lots of great help there. I'm getting off of methadone and its the worst pain I've ever had in my life! I'm 37 years old. I've taken plenty of oxy as well. snorted it and taken whole pills. The withdrawls are just as bad from oxy. He really needs to take care of himself. He has to be selfish right now and concentrate on getting clean. I'm sure its hard being a partner to this. I had to leave my b/f...he just couldnt handle seeing me so sick. Be as supportive as you can, it wont be an easy ride. Good luck and please check out the pain pill board on this site.
Sandy-
You should go to the "pain pill" board and post again. There's lots of great help there. I'm getting off of methadone and its the worst pain I've ever had in my life! I'm 37 years old. I've taken plenty of oxy as well. snorted it and taken whole pills. The withdrawls are just as bad from oxy. He really needs to take care of himself. He has to be selfish right now and concentrate on getting clean. I'm sure its hard being a partner to this. I had to leave my b/f...he just couldnt handle seeing me so sick. Be as supportive as you can, it wont be an easy ride. Good luck and please check out the pain pill board on this site.
Sandy-
thank you very much Sandy
dawn, there is help available. since he recognizes a problem, wants to abstain, and wants help, a huge step has been taken by him. he's on his way. encourage detox and rehab help. there's things he needs to know and there's things he needs to learn about himself and there's tools that he needs to acquire and learn to use to maintain sobriety. there are things you need to know too to deal with the fear and anxiety that you are sharing.
The fear & anxiety keep me up all night, and my tummy in knots, hence since i found out about this and the pills he takes, I have not had a full nights sleep or ate full decent meal. If i do eat my stomach gets upset or i get heartburn. this has been a long week thus far. I'm so scared, he really is a good man, kind, generous, loving, respectful, but all before this.
I know how you feel, its horrible when you get that anxious andt you cant sleep and you just keep thinking things over and over while in bed wide awake.
My bf is a heroin addict trying to recover but recently he had a relapse. It was terrible all the lies and worry I felt so run down and depressed. I chose to stay with him and he is detoxing again now. But still I find it difficult to not think about what happened and worry and stress out about whether he can get better or not. It can start to take over your life if you let it! People on here helped me with advice on how to detach and worry about yourself first, thats what addicts do so why shouldnt we! The more I keep busy and try not to think about it or bug him about it the better it gets between us, you do have to step back as it is out of your control.
I felt same as you though like he dosent want to come near me and he isnt interested in me. I constantly was asking him what was wrong with me and did he still find me attractive. He assures me its his medication and trying to get better but I still worry about it and it makes me feel so insecure. I feel like I never know quite where I stand and sometimes I want to leave and hate him for messing up my routine of life with these ups and downs, and letting me down because he feels ill or because he was using. It really gets to me. Im young and I think sometimes I could meet someone else, but I just want him but well again. He is in recovery but even this is so hard to deal with.
Sounds positive that yours is trying to get help though! Just try not to let it rule you it will drive you mad!
My bf is a heroin addict trying to recover but recently he had a relapse. It was terrible all the lies and worry I felt so run down and depressed. I chose to stay with him and he is detoxing again now. But still I find it difficult to not think about what happened and worry and stress out about whether he can get better or not. It can start to take over your life if you let it! People on here helped me with advice on how to detach and worry about yourself first, thats what addicts do so why shouldnt we! The more I keep busy and try not to think about it or bug him about it the better it gets between us, you do have to step back as it is out of your control.
I felt same as you though like he dosent want to come near me and he isnt interested in me. I constantly was asking him what was wrong with me and did he still find me attractive. He assures me its his medication and trying to get better but I still worry about it and it makes me feel so insecure. I feel like I never know quite where I stand and sometimes I want to leave and hate him for messing up my routine of life with these ups and downs, and letting me down because he feels ill or because he was using. It really gets to me. Im young and I think sometimes I could meet someone else, but I just want him but well again. He is in recovery but even this is so hard to deal with.
Sounds positive that yours is trying to get help though! Just try not to let it rule you it will drive you mad!
Helena
I just wanted to comfort you in the fact that it does get better. It took almost 2 months for my boyfriend's sex drive to come back (because it was basically gone and nowhere to be found). And it took awhile for him to start coming out of his depression and malaise and he still has his days with that.
Just try to be patient and know the greater good that's going to come from it!
Have a good one and take care,
Mickey
I just wanted to comfort you in the fact that it does get better. It took almost 2 months for my boyfriend's sex drive to come back (because it was basically gone and nowhere to be found). And it took awhile for him to start coming out of his depression and malaise and he still has his days with that.
Just try to be patient and know the greater good that's going to come from it!
Have a good one and take care,
Mickey
Thanks Mickey
That is comforting to know, I think my patience is something I need to work on. Sometimes I find it all so confusing and unsettling I dont know who I am or what Im doing. I lose track of my life and focus. I think I just expect everything to change in a week, its only been 2 weeks that my bf has been detoxing off his subutex he has another week to go. I think I forget that its not all going to be ok over night and that he is feeling ill. Like he says its like losing a best friend.
Thanks for advice.
