Hello everyone - I used to post on this board about 8 years ago under the name Misty. Had a rough time with a boyfriend who was an addict. Fast forward 8 years. Still with him. He had gotten his life together for the longest time, with occasional relapses. Now he is back to his old ways. Drinking, disappearing, staying gone. This time I will have a more difficult time leaving him because I am more financially tied to him. We have an apartment and pets together, which we didn't have last time.
As I keep trying to fall asleep my mind is racing too fast to rest. Some things are different this time. I refuse to try to track him down this time. If you can't be bothered to be at home, I'm not going to try to convince you. I am slightly better at not worrying as much when he is gone, and I for sure do not get frantic anymore. I still struggle with wanting to beat the you know what out of him, but I'm not lowering myself to that place.
I spent some time here tonight reading over my old posts. Man, I didn't know anything back then! As I read through them, I remembered what it was like. All the old fears, worries and emotions came flooding back. I realize that there is absolutely no way I can go through all of that again. This time I have to find a way out of here.
Praying for strength to do what I know I have to do. Praying for good friends to help me stay strong. Looking towards a future that has none of this craziness in it. Thankful I have this message board to help me stay focused.
Wishing all of you a good and peaceful Friday.
You can do this! Reading your post has inspired me to do the same.
Hey Misty 2,
I predate you on this site and just dropped by tonight after years away. I am going on almost 10 years without the addict that was in my life back then. My advice...... Get out and NEVER look back!
Life with an addict is no life......... Can't imagine now even entertaining the lies and anxiety of those days.
Just take it one day at a time and move one. Not my monkies..,.. Not my circus!
Laengr
I predate you on this site and just dropped by tonight after years away. I am going on almost 10 years without the addict that was in my life back then. My advice...... Get out and NEVER look back!
Life with an addict is no life......... Can't imagine now even entertaining the lies and anxiety of those days.
Just take it one day at a time and move one. Not my monkies..,.. Not my circus!
Laengr
