It seems ages since I was around.
For those of you who remember me -
I had a nasty operation on my wrist.
And my man after doing so well and getting off methadone then went backwards big style.
I took some time out, went on some holidays, asked him to leave and generally chilled.
And it sort of worked except I fell over a paving stone about 8 weeks ago and fractured my elbow, wrist and foot clumsy or what. So another stint of no typing or driving but it's not been too bad.
And there is that beautiful feeling after you've been down of appreciating everything so much more when you feel better which is where I am now.
And the same with my man, he has had to go backwards to go forwards he's now back on meth amps so he's come full circle but this time he's not using on top and has been clean from street drugs for 12 weeks. After all the madness of coming off meth and trying the subbies he went back but it's different a lesser dose and a doctor who understands that it's about a lot more than stopping using. Jack wish you could come over and be a methadone advocate in the UK
So all is good here and it's Mother's Day so I have flowers and presents - glad to be back.
Not sure if you have Mothering Sunday where you are but if so I am raising my glass ( it's a spanish red wine) to Mums.
keep the faith
k xxx
Morning Jazwan,
You have been gone a while havent you? I am sorry it is because of injury though.You have been through a bit it sounds like but made all the right decisions to keep yourself where you need to be and that in itself can be hard especially when it involves a loved one.
We have a Mothers Day here in the US,the 13th of May, a Fathers Day,the 17th of June, AND we have a Grandparents Day too the 9th of September...My youngest son always made his cards,I have them tucked away,but those are always the best ones.
So I too raise my glass,of hot chocolate(I dont drink) to all the moms over there for Mothers Day.
WEll,have yourself a great day and heal quickly.
Granny
You have been gone a while havent you? I am sorry it is because of injury though.You have been through a bit it sounds like but made all the right decisions to keep yourself where you need to be and that in itself can be hard especially when it involves a loved one.
We have a Mothers Day here in the US,the 13th of May, a Fathers Day,the 17th of June, AND we have a Grandparents Day too the 9th of September...My youngest son always made his cards,I have them tucked away,but those are always the best ones.
So I too raise my glass,of hot chocolate(I dont drink) to all the moms over there for Mothers Day.
WEll,have yourself a great day and heal quickly.
Granny
Hey Jaz good to hear from you. I'm about to start my own m-done detox your post made me think. I don't want to go backwards been there done that. Sorry about your injury.
Hiya Jaz!
Good to hear from you, but sorry that you seem to be having one thing or another keeping you down. Overall, though, you sound good. So are you and your man cohabitating or are you still living apart? How's that girl of yours?
Been a long while, glad you're back!
Peace ~ M&M
Good to hear from you, but sorry that you seem to be having one thing or another keeping you down. Overall, though, you sound good. So are you and your man cohabitating or are you still living apart? How's that girl of yours?
Been a long while, glad you're back!
Peace ~ M&M
Hi jAZ-
Believe me - Id like to go to the UK and speak to thier procedures of patients on mdone maintenance
But for now I'm stuck in NY- / NJ
as FAR as your guy starting over again, its a real drag, and sooner or later, he,ll see that this thing , this evil, always winds up in a circle . It sounds like he may be starting to get it- but its so hard to let go of sooo many things. When your life has revolved around heroin, so many thoughts from the past pop into your head.
Now- you would think that all you would remember would be the horrors of addiction- right?
But no- It doesn't work like that. Your brain, for all the smarts it keeps buried in it- seems to forget the all the misery that came with addiction. Heroin is a powerful pull* * Just the smell of a burnt match, a drive thru an old part of town, or maybe the cap to a soda can- sometimes brings memories floating back into your head," disguised" as the good old days
- (I wrote about this in Sober Reality - a thread that ZG started)- -
I thought as time passed . and a lot of time has past - -that I was much older and wiser now and was past the point of ever wanting to stick needles in by body ever again- And I probably am - -However its that word "probably" that keeps me going to the klinic twice a month.
Some of us can put it down and never look back. Then there are those like myself, who look back .and see those long ago years of my life as a classic black and white movie, not bothering to look at the destruction, and misery I caused myself and others who were trying to help me -
Yeah, most of the time, those dark days of yesteryear don't even enter into my mind- - but every now and then........some of us need to re-focus
- -injuries and recovery- we-oooo** > All the best to you guys, jaz* * *
jack
if I split the ticket price with ya, I can be there in 2 days- **smiles**
Believe me - Id like to go to the UK and speak to thier procedures of patients on mdone maintenance
But for now I'm stuck in NY- / NJ
as FAR as your guy starting over again, its a real drag, and sooner or later, he,ll see that this thing , this evil, always winds up in a circle . It sounds like he may be starting to get it- but its so hard to let go of sooo many things. When your life has revolved around heroin, so many thoughts from the past pop into your head.
Now- you would think that all you would remember would be the horrors of addiction- right?
But no- It doesn't work like that. Your brain, for all the smarts it keeps buried in it- seems to forget the all the misery that came with addiction. Heroin is a powerful pull* * Just the smell of a burnt match, a drive thru an old part of town, or maybe the cap to a soda can- sometimes brings memories floating back into your head," disguised" as the good old days
- (I wrote about this in Sober Reality - a thread that ZG started)- -
I thought as time passed . and a lot of time has past - -that I was much older and wiser now and was past the point of ever wanting to stick needles in by body ever again- And I probably am - -However its that word "probably" that keeps me going to the klinic twice a month.
Some of us can put it down and never look back. Then there are those like myself, who look back .and see those long ago years of my life as a classic black and white movie, not bothering to look at the destruction, and misery I caused myself and others who were trying to help me -
Yeah, most of the time, those dark days of yesteryear don't even enter into my mind- - but every now and then........some of us need to re-focus
- -injuries and recovery- we-oooo** > All the best to you guys, jaz* * *
jack
if I split the ticket price with ya, I can be there in 2 days- **smiles**
Jaz,
you sound good !...so glad ur man is back ...and he went back to the methadone amps...full circle for sure...but this keeps his seizures under control too doesn't it ?...he has got to be feelin better also...im so happy for both of you...happy mothers day out there...
hugs
Con
you sound good !...so glad ur man is back ...and he went back to the methadone amps...full circle for sure...but this keeps his seizures under control too doesn't it ?...he has got to be feelin better also...im so happy for both of you...happy mothers day out there...
hugs
Con
Hi People,
I'm better still not driving and on pain killers but much better.
I only difference this time Con is that he's off street drugs which is a big difference and no fits.
Again they are saying let's taper and get you off the meth but he knows no way. I think he will come off one day but it has too be slow everything is one big rush. He's on 40mg injecting meth amps nothing on top, he used to be on 50 plus gear so baby steps but stable and happy.
Where you at with this Con?
How's the detox going Zerogirl?
Jack come and talk to these people I'll pay your plane ticket they want everyone totally clean don't we all but they are destroying some with their fascist approach - makes me angry.
xx
.
I'm better still not driving and on pain killers but much better.
I only difference this time Con is that he's off street drugs which is a big difference and no fits.
Again they are saying let's taper and get you off the meth but he knows no way. I think he will come off one day but it has too be slow everything is one big rush. He's on 40mg injecting meth amps nothing on top, he used to be on 50 plus gear so baby steps but stable and happy.
Where you at with this Con?
How's the detox going Zerogirl?
Jack come and talk to these people I'll pay your plane ticket they want everyone totally clean don't we all but they are destroying some with their fascist approach - makes me angry.
xx
.
It's not good that they rush people on methadone or sub. It's not a freakin race! You don't get addicted overnight, not going to get clean and on with your life overnight either.
I had missed that you had hurt yourself again Jaz..you are a clumsy one! lol Poor baby.
I had missed that you had hurt yourself again Jaz..you are a clumsy one! lol Poor baby.
I fell this time broke elbow, wrist and foot but last time it was an operation on my hand, something I was born with. I think because I knew I had a plate in the right hand I put my left out to save myself. Felt silly really i haven't fallen since I was about 18, no ice and sober the shame of it.
Yep 25 to 30 yrs an addict and they want you clean in less than 12 months
It's a slow walk
x
Yep 25 to 30 yrs an addict and they want you clean in less than 12 months
It's a slow walk
x
Oh god I did that to myself!! I thort omg I've been on methadone 8 years!!! Time to quick detox and I should of learnt from going on subutex too quick in the past and now I'm at square 1,but I don't care if I die still taking meth(hopefully not like) as long as I'm clean of s*** then so what?? It would just be nice to not be dependent on something...but... England has a new rich peoples government who are aiming to get everyone off their script asap cos of the cost ha what about the cost when crime goes up and prisons are heaving with addicts?? The previous government opened all the drug,drink centres in my area and this government will destroy it all but enough politics!! The point is people forget what a script is for,its to stabilise your life,its clean(god knows what is in street heroin) and its there to help you get back to normality.I stumbled across a site dead against methadone it said you just reduce your heroin use day by day til u can come off it Erm?? If it was that easy we would all do it just like that and anyway your brain says MORE!! not less! really!!!
Oh my god I didn't know you could get prescribed injectable meth amps Jesus that is scary!! Makes sense though,I know people on morphine amps but they just sell em..and he should be firm and say no reduction!! He knows what's working.u are both doing brilliant me and my partner are both addicts its so hard...
