Hey all,
I am having some serious cravings this morning. Actually for the last day or two, but this morning seems to be the worst. I plan on getting to a meeting today, or at the latest tomorrow, but in the meantime I could use a little bit of encouragement.
My addict brain keeps telling me that I can call any one of the dozen pharmacies that owe me refills. The one with the custom compunded 15/100 hydrocodone 120 count for $100 keeps nagging me.......
I have been clean of hydro since Decmber 12, 2006, and have been on Suboxone since December 14th, 16mg a day. Anyway, this is the first REAL cravings and jonesing I have had. My mind is sure missing the fix.
Anyone care to help and talk me through this???
peaceout
dtroitj
Here's your homework for the day....
Call each and everyone of those pharmacies and tell them that you want those refills cancelled. Tell them you are in recovery.
As long as those refills are around, you won't be able to move past this. No will power or strength can accomplish that.
Then get to a meeting. Today. Not tommorow.
Cowgirl
Call each and everyone of those pharmacies and tell them that you want those refills cancelled. Tell them you are in recovery.
As long as those refills are around, you won't be able to move past this. No will power or strength can accomplish that.
Then get to a meeting. Today. Not tommorow.
Cowgirl
Hi Johnny,
well I am very sorry that you are having cravings even with the sub you are taking. If you do get pills and take them they wont do anything for you at all because of the sub, You will most likely get sick and maybe go into withdrawls. That doesn't sound very fun does it?
Whenever I am having thoughts about using I start to pray. Sometimes I say "Satan I rebuke you in the name of Jesus Christ" because when I think about using I get VERY nervous, like an anxiety attack. I believe it is a little demon whispering in my ear that I want to use again. When I say this out loud and start praying out loud the thoughts go away and I start to feel better. I don't know if you believe in God or not, but if you do then give it a try.
well I am very sorry that you are having cravings even with the sub you are taking. If you do get pills and take them they wont do anything for you at all because of the sub, You will most likely get sick and maybe go into withdrawls. That doesn't sound very fun does it?
Whenever I am having thoughts about using I start to pray. Sometimes I say "Satan I rebuke you in the name of Jesus Christ" because when I think about using I get VERY nervous, like an anxiety attack. I believe it is a little demon whispering in my ear that I want to use again. When I say this out loud and start praying out loud the thoughts go away and I start to feel better. I don't know if you believe in God or not, but if you do then give it a try.
DtroitJohnny,I can honestly say i havent had any bad cravings since starting the sub.Are you taking your prescribed amount?
Get yourself busy,with anything,preferrably a meeting,but if you cant get there ,go for a walk,go exercise,keep yourself and mind occupied with anything but......
I know its hard,but think how far youve come.think how much you wanted to quit,all the reasons why...they were all very good reasons.You would be sorry and feel like total crap to give in now.
Hang in there,this will passs,and you will be very proud to have made it through without using.
If i were you,those pharmacies would be called,told that you are an addict and to get rid of any pain meds you have refills for.Until you do,they will always be on your mind,you need to be honest,and cover your a**.Good luck~KIM
Get yourself busy,with anything,preferrably a meeting,but if you cant get there ,go for a walk,go exercise,keep yourself and mind occupied with anything but......
I know its hard,but think how far youve come.think how much you wanted to quit,all the reasons why...they were all very good reasons.You would be sorry and feel like total crap to give in now.
Hang in there,this will passs,and you will be very proud to have made it through without using.
If i were you,those pharmacies would be called,told that you are an addict and to get rid of any pain meds you have refills for.Until you do,they will always be on your mind,you need to be honest,and cover your a**.Good luck~KIM
DJ, Get out and do something that will take your mind off those pills. It has been almost 2 months without pills it is not worth it. Shantel
Johnny
Lisa is right, call those pharmacies and cancel the scripts. If you don't they will haunt and nag you relentlessly. Try to keep yourself busy, go to a meeting, do anything you can to get out of your own head. I know its hard, but it does get easier. Hang in there.
Michelle
Lisa is right, call those pharmacies and cancel the scripts. If you don't they will haunt and nag you relentlessly. Try to keep yourself busy, go to a meeting, do anything you can to get out of your own head. I know its hard, but it does get easier. Hang in there.
Michelle
Hey Johnny:
I was told early on that staying in my own head is like going to a dangerous neighborhood, alone. Or something to that effect! Do whatever you can to get outside of yourself. Play the tape all the way through. Do not romanticize your pill popping early days. Go right to the last days of when you were dopesick all of the time. For me, at the end, I couldn't get clean and I couldn't get loaded. I was in a perpetual state of withdrawal. Try watching Dogtown and Z Boys since you are skateboarder. That will get your mind off of it, at least for a couple of hours.
~Rachel
I was told early on that staying in my own head is like going to a dangerous neighborhood, alone. Or something to that effect! Do whatever you can to get outside of yourself. Play the tape all the way through. Do not romanticize your pill popping early days. Go right to the last days of when you were dopesick all of the time. For me, at the end, I couldn't get clean and I couldn't get loaded. I was in a perpetual state of withdrawal. Try watching Dogtown and Z Boys since you are skateboarder. That will get your mind off of it, at least for a couple of hours.
~Rachel
I have to agree, you'll need to cancel all those online pharm accts. Say whatever you want -- that you're managing the pain another way, etc. -- but cancel your membership with the online pharms and cancel the scripts. I can't say I had 12 pharm accts going, but I did have 5-6, including one that scripted compounded Norcos. So I feel like I know where you're coming from...
I had to remove the temptation. Knowing that the refills were available was too much of a teaser for this addict's brain. Maybe now isn't the absolute best time to do it if you're feeling slippery. Talking about it here is a good step -- honesty about the cravings helps diminish their power. If you can't get to a meeting, is there anyone from the program you could call? A sponsor?
Good luck. Don't give in....you know it will never be enough.
Glad you're here. None
I had to remove the temptation. Knowing that the refills were available was too much of a teaser for this addict's brain. Maybe now isn't the absolute best time to do it if you're feeling slippery. Talking about it here is a good step -- honesty about the cravings helps diminish their power. If you can't get to a meeting, is there anyone from the program you could call? A sponsor?
Good luck. Don't give in....you know it will never be enough.
Glad you're here. None
detroitj,
I ordered maybe twice from an OP several years ago. Suddenly, in the last year, I've been getting calls from them. After a bad day, it's very refreshing to scream at them over the phone, "I'm a recovering addict. Take me off your list. Don't you realize that what you're doing is immoral, you [invective of choice]?"
Call them and cancel. It can be very freeing, as well as absolutely necessary if you want to stay clean.
BTW, I saw your question on another post. I would have used "to affect" in that sentence, (to influence, rather than change). You shouldn't go by me, though. English is not my first language.
Good luck.
Gina
I ordered maybe twice from an OP several years ago. Suddenly, in the last year, I've been getting calls from them. After a bad day, it's very refreshing to scream at them over the phone, "I'm a recovering addict. Take me off your list. Don't you realize that what you're doing is immoral, you [invective of choice]?"
Call them and cancel. It can be very freeing, as well as absolutely necessary if you want to stay clean.
BTW, I saw your question on another post. I would have used "to affect" in that sentence, (to influence, rather than change). You shouldn't go by me, though. English is not my first language.
Good luck.
Gina
My addict brain keeps telling me that I can call any one of the dozen pharmacies that owe me refills. The one with the custom compunded 15/100 hydrocodone 120 count for $100 keeps nagging me.......
Um, yeah, that would nag at me too.
Johnny, like everyone said, you need to cut off ALL of your sources. That is just crucial.
You have seen why; a craving can come in and shake the demon awake; you don't want to feed it.
Remember why you quit; keep that image fresh in your mind. Relapse isn't going back to fun, we go right back to where we left off...in that black hell hole.
Get outside, go find a good book, or go hang out with some positive people. THis too shall pass.
Um, yeah, that would nag at me too.
Johnny, like everyone said, you need to cut off ALL of your sources. That is just crucial.
You have seen why; a craving can come in and shake the demon awake; you don't want to feed it.
Remember why you quit; keep that image fresh in your mind. Relapse isn't going back to fun, we go right back to where we left off...in that black hell hole.
Get outside, go find a good book, or go hang out with some positive people. THis too shall pass.
Detroit Johnny-What Lisa said x 100.
Dude.....By tomorrow the cravings might be better then you will have an excuse why you really don't need to go to that meeting.
Start out with a good foundation then everything else you are faced with will seem a lot easier.
I'm glad you're getting help with sub but it's not a cure.You're going to have to change the way you think.
Remember......I can't do this....We can.
If you need to talk one on one...e-mail me.
timlincoln@aol.com
Dude.....By tomorrow the cravings might be better then you will have an excuse why you really don't need to go to that meeting.
Start out with a good foundation then everything else you are faced with will seem a lot easier.
I'm glad you're getting help with sub but it's not a cure.You're going to have to change the way you think.
Remember......I can't do this....We can.
If you need to talk one on one...e-mail me.
timlincoln@aol.com
Hey all,
Thanks for the help and all of the responses. It helped me make it through another day. I got myself busy here at work for the day and took my mind off of it. I will call and start canceling the scripts.....heck, at some point they will all expire anyway!! Just one more part of letting go. Not as easy as it sounds, but hey, no one said it would be easy right??
Aside from all of the positive support, one of the biggest things that helped today was the re-affirmation that I can't take pills while I am on Sub. I can't remember who posted that this fact was the one that kept them going, but it sure made my mind up!! Don't really want to start WD's right away now, huh?
Anyway, gotta run. It's my wife's B'day and I need to pick up a cake somewhere on my way home.......
Till tomorrow, which is another new day.
peaceout
dtroitj
Thanks for the help and all of the responses. It helped me make it through another day. I got myself busy here at work for the day and took my mind off of it. I will call and start canceling the scripts.....heck, at some point they will all expire anyway!! Just one more part of letting go. Not as easy as it sounds, but hey, no one said it would be easy right??
Aside from all of the positive support, one of the biggest things that helped today was the re-affirmation that I can't take pills while I am on Sub. I can't remember who posted that this fact was the one that kept them going, but it sure made my mind up!! Don't really want to start WD's right away now, huh?
Anyway, gotta run. It's my wife's B'day and I need to pick up a cake somewhere on my way home.......
Till tomorrow, which is another new day.
peaceout
dtroitj
