My 19-year old son has a bruise on the inside of his right arm. I just noticed it for the first time today. He had an instant response for my query as to where the bruise came from. A friend's younger brother accidentally shot him with a paintball. He was getting excitable as he told me the paintball story and he could probably see the wary expression on my face as I half listened.
Then, later, I went up to his room and confronted him about the bruise once again. This time he became even more excitable and said, "You're thinking I shot heroin!" No! It was from a paintball, I told you!! Look! Shooting dope wouldn't cause a bruise like this to form!" I went to get my glasses in order to look for a tiny, needle-sized prick somewhere within the bruise and, sure enough, despite my son's Indian dance to avoid this added scrutiny, there it was: this tiny, almost-invisible miniscule scab. I am almost sure that's what it was, but I can't be absolutely sure given the fact that my son could not restrain his nervous energy and his need to explain it all away.
What do you all think? Does shooting heroin cause bruising? My son, as far as I know, has used heroin but would vehemently deny shooting it. Only snorting, he would say. Now that he's back from his first-ever rehab (*he returned in February of this year), it's been a fast downward track back to his old habits and old friends - even some new friends - but it's all leading to the same place. I am so distraught once again. I have two younger kids, also, who are living this nightmare along with me. I know it's no picnic for my addicted son, either. He seems so sad, weak, discouraged unless he's on something and has the energy to expend for the purpose of scoring more of his drugs, whether to buy, trade, blackmail, or buy on loan.
I swear, if he put even one tenth of the time, energy and enthusiasm into a real job as does for his scoring and selling drugs, including driving to the right pickup places and networking among the "wrong" people, he'd be a hugely successful businessman.
But, as it stands, he is an aspiring drug dealer and faux pimp with all the gangsta slang to go with it. It's really scary, horribly ridiculous and very, very sad. He used to be an all-American type boy, ice hockey player, Christian School, lots of friends. Now his friends are simply drug seekers and small-time wanna-be dealers and he is a little bit of both. His friends' myspace accounts will post comments having to do with "I'ma workin on somethin big and easy if anyone wants IN on it," and there will be several comments in reply that jump at the chance to participate in this robbery-to-be.
Oh, and about that big bruise on his arm that came from the errant paintball: It was on the inside of his right arm. He is left handed. Gee, maybe it really was the paintball...... I don't think so, do you?
Sweetest Suzy:
I'm so sorry you have to go through this,but I guess when we have kids,or any circumstance for that matter,we don't know how they/it will turn out or how it will work out,all we can do is hope and pray that it won't come down to the worst case senario,and also pray that we can get through whatever life has to offer us.
I know it's not easy,cause I used heroin for 13yrs and have been off for the past 11yrs,but I have three beautiful angels that are growing up in a very fast way and before I know it they will be into something along the way,I just hope I don't have to go down that road,that my mom and so many mom's have and are going down.
I worry so much and fear the day,but I guess I'll deal with it if it ever comes down to it,let me tell you,we realy don't know what our mom's go through for us untill we become a mom or parent ourselves.
All I can say is that my mom was one hell of a fantastic and strong person to go through the crap she did for me and with me.I LOVE YOU MOM!!
I know it's hard to accept that he might be shooting up again and lying in your face,but I guess you knew the answer to your question even before you posted it on here.
I'll tell you this,you don't seem like a dumb person and you also seem like a very,and I mean very strong person.I don't know if I would have kept my cool like you did confronting him.
I'll let you go for now,but would realy like to chat with you again...
Wishing you all the best,lot's of patience,strength,,and most of all lot's of love.
Always a friend Teena
I'm so sorry you have to go through this,but I guess when we have kids,or any circumstance for that matter,we don't know how they/it will turn out or how it will work out,all we can do is hope and pray that it won't come down to the worst case senario,and also pray that we can get through whatever life has to offer us.
I know it's not easy,cause I used heroin for 13yrs and have been off for the past 11yrs,but I have three beautiful angels that are growing up in a very fast way and before I know it they will be into something along the way,I just hope I don't have to go down that road,that my mom and so many mom's have and are going down.
I worry so much and fear the day,but I guess I'll deal with it if it ever comes down to it,let me tell you,we realy don't know what our mom's go through for us untill we become a mom or parent ourselves.
All I can say is that my mom was one hell of a fantastic and strong person to go through the crap she did for me and with me.I LOVE YOU MOM!!
I know it's hard to accept that he might be shooting up again and lying in your face,but I guess you knew the answer to your question even before you posted it on here.
I'll tell you this,you don't seem like a dumb person and you also seem like a very,and I mean very strong person.I don't know if I would have kept my cool like you did confronting him.
I'll let you go for now,but would realy like to chat with you again...
Wishing you all the best,lot's of patience,strength,,and most of all lot's of love.
Always a friend Teena
Hello Sue,sorry to confirm yer fears,but i 99% think your son banged up.i was an addict for 12yrs/6yrs on the needle&i got bruises alot,v.strangely coloured bruises ,go from bluish to green/yellow over a cple. of days.The bruising can come from a missed hit/using the same vein to often&even if he gets it spot on you can still bruise.As for his lil bit of dealing most addicts i know sold a little to cover their own habit,i did it,but even if hes doing just that hes setting himself up for a whole bunch of s***.I have a 7yr old girl who has many carefree days ahead before she may be exposed to heroin ,if ever i hope,but i can understand your worry.lastley Sue ask him is he sharing spikes,coz its 1 thing using yer own,but to share even a few times is courting the real danger of HIV/HEP C etc.Sue i really feel bad saying this but i gotta be straight,from what you have said i can only gather that your son is a pretty active smack user again,all the signs are there&coming from an ex addict[7wk,ex]i can see smack behaviour all around him.Teena was right ,as usual you probobly knew this yerself.Really hope your son sees his mistakes.....all the very best Davey
Sure the bruise can be from paintball, but hearing his history. . .......
To bruise like that he couldve missed the vein, and the dope/and whatever they cut it with caused the discolouration.Things like that could get worse(abcesses,infections,etc...)
I dont want to scare you any more than you are.Keep confronting him. When my parents kept confronting me(long ago) sure I kept denying it to them. However,eventually I couldnt deny it to myself. It wasnt and rarely is- the bruises that wakes anyone . Expect long sleeves and makeup to try and cover his bruises now that he knows your on to him.
Hang in there but know when to pull the plug. My parents threw me out,and kept and raised my son until I got my schit together a bit.
It was very painful for everyone but now years later, I can see that it was nessecery
all the best
jack
To bruise like that he couldve missed the vein, and the dope/and whatever they cut it with caused the discolouration.Things like that could get worse(abcesses,infections,etc...)
I dont want to scare you any more than you are.Keep confronting him. When my parents kept confronting me(long ago) sure I kept denying it to them. However,eventually I couldnt deny it to myself. It wasnt and rarely is- the bruises that wakes anyone . Expect long sleeves and makeup to try and cover his bruises now that he knows your on to him.
Hang in there but know when to pull the plug. My parents threw me out,and kept and raised my son until I got my schit together a bit.
It was very painful for everyone but now years later, I can see that it was nessecery
all the best
jack
If he's snorting or shooting "why is one more troubling 4 you then the other"?. Snorting most always leads to shoting. I started bruising worse the longer i used and the more screwed up my vains got, it took several tries in differnt spots to get in a vain. I mostly used my right ARM, i'm right handed to. I only used the left after the right was trashed from a staff infection. Every stick in the begining did not cause me a bruise. Also Herion is not the only drug done thru a needle. Cocain can be shot up anytime i shot coke it ALWAYS left a knot or big bruise worse then H. If the lil pin hole prick was RIGHT on a vain thats from a needle. a paintball WILL NOT cause a tiny hole right over a vain. The hole gose away very fast in a day or two then looks more like a lil bruise. User always have a good story to explain anything, need 4 cash, bruises, being sick exc. You can ask him to rehab untill he WANTS it it's kinda useless, it may keep him off dope a few days/weeks, he wants it he'll go back. Also if he's scared you may know now he may try going in a differt spot, legs, feet, hands exc. My mother knew i used she disaproved and would NEVER loan me cash but, would bring me food. She never turned me away when i was ready 4 a methadone clinic she SMILED and brought me there everyday. I wish you tons of strength it will be a hard road to go down. From my experience it sounds all bad for your boy. It's HARD to not belive your own child.
my guy used to miss veins all the time...and it would cause a huge bruise to appear...so according to your sons history and the fact that it is on his right arm and he is left-handed...and since you saw the needle mark...you know the answer..
it sucks i know it does i would notice the bruises and be like dear god when is this ever going to enddd....is your son still in treatment..outpatient or going to meetings...best of luck and know it is not your fault!!
it sucks i know it does i would notice the bruises and be like dear god when is this ever going to enddd....is your son still in treatment..outpatient or going to meetings...best of luck and know it is not your fault!!
Just wanted to thank you all so much for your replies. They helped tremendously. I needed the encouragement, also, and thank you for that, too.
I didn't know that cocaine could be shot up but there's a possibility that coke is one of many drugs in my son's depressing world.
Lately he has taken to visiting jewelry shops where he and another accomplice will bring whatever chains or such that they can find. They claim the jeweler melts down the gold and reimburses them in cash. Lately, though, the jeweler hasn't been as nice about it. My son told me that he thinks the jeweler thinks he is a "junkie." Ha.
The thing that really got me was something he said to me after he protested that the bruise came from a paintball. He screamed, "You want to really know where I shot up last? In rehab!"
So here we go again. More of the lies, more of the gangsta talk and the illicit behavior that involves petty thievery that will no doubt turn to grand larceny if he keeps going on the way he is going.
Thank you again - all of you - for your kind reponses. I am learning so much from this board.
I didn't know that cocaine could be shot up but there's a possibility that coke is one of many drugs in my son's depressing world.
Lately he has taken to visiting jewelry shops where he and another accomplice will bring whatever chains or such that they can find. They claim the jeweler melts down the gold and reimburses them in cash. Lately, though, the jeweler hasn't been as nice about it. My son told me that he thinks the jeweler thinks he is a "junkie." Ha.
The thing that really got me was something he said to me after he protested that the bruise came from a paintball. He screamed, "You want to really know where I shot up last? In rehab!"
So here we go again. More of the lies, more of the gangsta talk and the illicit behavior that involves petty thievery that will no doubt turn to grand larceny if he keeps going on the way he is going.
Thank you again - all of you - for your kind reponses. I am learning so much from this board.
| QUOTE |
| Lately he has taken to visiting jewelry shops where he and another accomplice will bring whatever chains or such that they can find. |
I think you know they aren't finding them.
I used to bruise alot when I tied up too tight, that might be it. It is sad, this disease takes anyone, good families, broken homes, it does not discriminate, Atheletes, lazy people, anyone, can die in an instant, My prayers are with you and your family!
Your instincts are obviously spot on!! but if he has a bruise it's probably from a missed shot thats gone into the muscle. a lesson he would of found to sting a little.. I sugest you, suzie, get on to this with careful approach... he's obviously an ameture.. or whoever is pumping it into him...
My broken heart is with you, mom. That had to devastate you.
Agreed with sooo many posts here, and unfortunately he just may have shot up in rehab. That was a huge deal with one of my parents. NO DETOX/NO REHAB
He locked up enough junkies to fill a state, and believed as I also was amteure I'd meet new folks with better tricks, and often that happens. NOT ALWAYS, but it does. My last detox. Years ago. No rehab. Got ya your methadone. No counseling. Nadda else. Four day, and you are weaned, and perhaps signed up to their intense methadone program.which ultimately may have you for life.
Well, I walked out with eight other people. Before we hit the street. I mean still in the building, and this was in a drug infested neighborhood the plan was on. Who had the car. Who had loot. Who had the best connection to the best dope. Guys in there who stood by my side wooing me with how I was a nice, nice girl, and not like the other whores in there quickly strode off with the pack.
I BET if I asked them creeps who watched my back in that place for $10 they'd not give it to me.
Anyway, myself, and one young boy just looked at eachother, and he kinda wanted in, and I saw him take out what looked like a few ones, and I said come on let's go home. So we did. He was a kid and I wonder so much how he is, and am just too afraid to call. I spoke with his mom once who this poor, poor woman she had two other boys heroin addicted, andnephews, and a niece.
There is hope though. I wish we could handcuff these kids to a toilet tank or huge headbaord. I wish we could make their choices for them. Actually, what often amazes me is an addict could have acomputer. Man, I'd have had this thing out on the street for ten bucks and quick.
His friend probably hit him up. "Friend". Nice one. Your boy needs to know WHY he's doing this. Get to the WHY. It's never cause it's just fun, and everybody else is doing it. There's a WHY. I mean in my opinion, and he may not even know.
I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. Plus your little ones are having to live this. Not fair.
Agreed with sooo many posts here, and unfortunately he just may have shot up in rehab. That was a huge deal with one of my parents. NO DETOX/NO REHAB
He locked up enough junkies to fill a state, and believed as I also was amteure I'd meet new folks with better tricks, and often that happens. NOT ALWAYS, but it does. My last detox. Years ago. No rehab. Got ya your methadone. No counseling. Nadda else. Four day, and you are weaned, and perhaps signed up to their intense methadone program.which ultimately may have you for life.
Well, I walked out with eight other people. Before we hit the street. I mean still in the building, and this was in a drug infested neighborhood the plan was on. Who had the car. Who had loot. Who had the best connection to the best dope. Guys in there who stood by my side wooing me with how I was a nice, nice girl, and not like the other whores in there quickly strode off with the pack.
I BET if I asked them creeps who watched my back in that place for $10 they'd not give it to me.
Anyway, myself, and one young boy just looked at eachother, and he kinda wanted in, and I saw him take out what looked like a few ones, and I said come on let's go home. So we did. He was a kid and I wonder so much how he is, and am just too afraid to call. I spoke with his mom once who this poor, poor woman she had two other boys heroin addicted, andnephews, and a niece.
There is hope though. I wish we could handcuff these kids to a toilet tank or huge headbaord. I wish we could make their choices for them. Actually, what often amazes me is an addict could have acomputer. Man, I'd have had this thing out on the street for ten bucks and quick.
His friend probably hit him up. "Friend". Nice one. Your boy needs to know WHY he's doing this. Get to the WHY. It's never cause it's just fun, and everybody else is doing it. There's a WHY. I mean in my opinion, and he may not even know.
I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. Plus your little ones are having to live this. Not fair.
I asked this question once.
Unfortunatley, We know what we know.
Hermom
Unfortunatley, We know what we know.
Hermom
Hi Sue, Unfortunately, your son's probably telling the truth about using in rehab. I did. I connected really well witha couple of guys in the ptogram with me and we would talk about old times together. After awhile we were glorifying our drug use. It wasn't long until we were all jonesing like crazy! We wre all completely detoxed but apparently we didn't want to quit. I brought up the fact that I could get morphine snuck in and I already had a syringe.(which we all used) What's really bad is we left the syringe so someone else could relapse and maybe get aids.(we could get morphine and a syringe but we couldn't get bleach) You can see where an addict,s priorities lay. Rehab is not going to work unless your son is really fed up with his lifestyle. All you can do is be there for him and let him know that you care what happens to him. I wish you and your family the best of luck, Sue.
the only time i got bruises would be if i used a blunt { 1 i used B4 ) needle.
