Hi everyone. I not sure where to start. I have 3 beautiful boys. 23, 20, 16. My 23 year old has an OxyContin addiction. For over a year now. The thing well it all hurts, is 3 years ago he was a full time college student. Work a full time job. Had money. Supporting himself. Now 2 years later I don't even know this person I call my son. He is a stranger to me.
He has stolen $$$ money from his dad. Got caught shoplifting. And he has been stealing from my husband and I. We told him last time he already has 2 strikes.one more and you won't be welcome here. Well 3rd strike last night. My husband packed up my sons stuff. And changed the locks.
I know my son needs help! But I feel like I'm throwing him to the wolves.
I'm at a loss. My heart is breaking.
Any advice?
Thanks
No your not lost. He is doing what is expected of a heroin addict and your feeling what is expected from a parent. If your husband doesn't kick him out then your son will most likely steal everything even the clothes off your back, get it? And your not throwing him to the wolves because he's a wolf himself. I'm a heroin addict for 5years now. And I'm on Methadone. Have u heard of Methadone before? If not google it and try offering him help from Methadone. I'm pretty sure he knows what it is. All us heroin addicts do. And one more thing. It's not wrong to give him tough love, cause if not then your enabling him. And then you'll create a monster. But don't lose faith and hope. And pray. Pray more then ever. Talk to the Lord. He knows what your going through already and understand your pain, and his pain. Remember he died for us and our sins. So don't lose your hope and faith. If you need to talk to someone. Ill be here for you. Best of luck. Jessica.
i understand where you are at. I threatenned my son with changing the locks after he stole from us consistently and brought dealers to the house. I was terrified of him being on the streets. But I was lucky that in the end I could separate the house by creating an extra door and so he could be contained and separate. our doors were locked but his was not so I could check on him. I only allowed him to stay on the provision that he went on a programme. He is on methadone now so the stealing has stopped, but there are other issues of course.
But I am not recommending this, in a normal house it would not be possible - it was just that our house was on three levels. I honestly think that no one can live with an addict when they are out of control, you have to protect yourself and you'd be shocked how tough they are when they have to be. lots of parents are forced to do this and it may be the only path for you to take, I think your husband is right and you will probably understand if you talk to more parents in the same boat. It is hell I know but he is not thrown to the wolves, right now he is a wolf and you deserve to feel safe.
But I am not recommending this, in a normal house it would not be possible - it was just that our house was on three levels. I honestly think that no one can live with an addict when they are out of control, you have to protect yourself and you'd be shocked how tough they are when they have to be. lots of parents are forced to do this and it may be the only path for you to take, I think your husband is right and you will probably understand if you talk to more parents in the same boat. It is hell I know but he is not thrown to the wolves, right now he is a wolf and you deserve to feel safe.
I just noticed jessica wrote the same thing above re wolves
Try looking at this differently: you are not throwing him to the wolves, you are allowing him the dignity to make his own mistakes and suffer the consequences, just as you would allow him the dignity of positive choices and the rewards of those.
You made clear the outcome, he made a choice knowing that outcome. That's really all there is to it. I am not being glib, I have stood where you are. Let him go and keep loving him.
Peace ~ MomNMore
You made clear the outcome, he made a choice knowing that outcome. That's really all there is to it. I am not being glib, I have stood where you are. Let him go and keep loving him.
Peace ~ MomNMore
