Bryn,
Just an update as you and Jackofhartz were so kind in the past to give me some concrete advice regarding my ex bf's suspicious behavior of late.
Last week...Wednesday morning..he called early from work after not hearing from him for about 3 weeks...he sounded straight but kinda upset...a little sad even...wondering why i hadn't called him to tell him about the results of my biopsy yet...the procedure took place about 3 weeks ago...so naturally one would ask if he was so interested why did he wait so long to call me about it.
He also insisted on coming over that afternoon after work..which was weird as he told me about 3 weeks ago that there was to be no more sex between us and i think you know the rest of the story and his history.
Well he said he come over around 6 PM...but he didn't show or call...so i called him last Friday at work and he said he would drop by last weekend but call first...he didn't call or show......oh yeah...last Thursday was his PO appointment and maybe he thought he wasn't going to pass his UA that day so he wanted to contact me on Wednesday just to make sure i was stiil around somehow in case they hauled him off to prison.
Okay....i called over to his landlord's place last Saturday evening and the old landlady told me that he has been leaving early on the weekends and coming back after 10 PM and now he was starting to do it during the week as well...he uses the side door instead of the front and avoids the old landlords as much as he does me.
i am so mad as he used to tell me had no friends to hang out with and no money to spend and he never had money when he was with me and he certainly doesn't hang out with anyone in AA as he smokes pot all the time now and suddenly he has a place to go all the time and he avoids me like the plague.....i wrote him a letter this week and once again he has failed to respond and i pointed out to him that his sudden late hours and 'booked' weekends coincide with his telling me 3 weeks ago he didn't want sex with me anymore but that we were still friends.
His old landlady asked me if he was engaging in any criminal activities or was he using drugs as his staying out all the time is new behavior to she as well....of course i didn't say anything and told her he probably has a new woman in his life....why he can't tell me i don't know and he is studiously avoiding me and not calling or dropping by like he promised....and why did he call me last Wednesday if he didn't want anything to do with me?
I have known him for 6 years and we lived together for 2 and whenever he used heroin (which he has been doing for 30 yrs of his 53 yr old life)he would always do a 'disappearing act' and wouldn't call or come over as promised....one thing about him is that whenever he said he would call or come over he would...unless he was doing heroin..
I am sure there is a woman involved now and i have been suspecting that he never put down the needle even after he was sentenced almost 2 years ago and is now on probation....but if he is hanging out all hours now then that means his addiciton has increased...i know he smoked a lot of pot...maybe he is just smoking pot with this woman (he has Hep C as well) but the dude literally only makes 200 bucks a week at his temp factory job so i don't know how he can afford a woman rent car gas cigs food pot and heroin..
Once again dear Bryn..what is he up to and why is he avoiding me so and why the hell did he break the silence and want to come by last Wednesday if there is another woman to take care of him if he messes up his probation..
any idea love MARY
Hi Mary
My guess is that the women he is spending time with isnt capable of takin care of him if he gets in a mess.(legal or otherwise) - so -he is keeping you on the line.
He probably cant use her as much as you,assumming she is an active heroin addict and he wants to make sure he doesnt totally lose a good thing.
Of course the less he stays in touch with you the more grateful you should be- but that is hard to accept for you,I know.
Keep working on finding that happy space for yourself
muchlove,
jack
sorry for jumpin in byrn-but I figured I,d drop a note to Mary until you got here.
jack
My guess is that the women he is spending time with isnt capable of takin care of him if he gets in a mess.(legal or otherwise) - so -he is keeping you on the line.
He probably cant use her as much as you,assumming she is an active heroin addict and he wants to make sure he doesnt totally lose a good thing.
Of course the less he stays in touch with you the more grateful you should be- but that is hard to accept for you,I know.
Keep working on finding that happy space for yourself
muchlove,
jack
sorry for jumpin in byrn-but I figured I,d drop a note to Mary until you got here.
jack
Thanx Jack,
I hope Bryn responds as well...like yourself she is a tough cookie that is hip to the deceptive antics of active heroin addicts...although they boast of being clean ( using their probation/parole status as viable proof) you somehow know in your 'gut' that they are just blowing smoke up your behind as usual.
Although not a heroin addict myself....spending over 6 years with one has educated me quite a bit in recognizing the 'nature of the beast' when it takes hold....but as my heart tends to rule my head in coping with the situation i tend to lose sight of what really is as opposed to what i wished it to be.
Admittedly i am not as naive as i once was 6 years ago but as this man has been shooting smack for over 30 years with 14 years of prison time as well...he still is more practiced in the art of inventive manipulation and can convinced me that things are white when my 'gut' tells me i see black.
He has never hidden his pot smoking from me and i can't see how he would be spending hours on end with someone smoking joints (don't know how he can afford it either) and why probation would deter him from doing his long time love drug of choice...heroin.
He never kept his distance from me for long periods in the past unless he was doing heroin and even then when we actually lived together he would disappear for days at a time with some bulls**t story as to why.
As much as it pains me to think he is with another woman and doesn't even have the balls to tell me at this point...in a way i hope for his sake that is all there is to it and he is just smoking weed and having his way with her because if he is doing heroin than that means his habit has taken a stronger hold of him and as he barely ekes out a living as it is...he might be selling it as well....
thanx again Jack and i hope i hear from Bryn as well
luv MARY
I hope Bryn responds as well...like yourself she is a tough cookie that is hip to the deceptive antics of active heroin addicts...although they boast of being clean ( using their probation/parole status as viable proof) you somehow know in your 'gut' that they are just blowing smoke up your behind as usual.
Although not a heroin addict myself....spending over 6 years with one has educated me quite a bit in recognizing the 'nature of the beast' when it takes hold....but as my heart tends to rule my head in coping with the situation i tend to lose sight of what really is as opposed to what i wished it to be.
Admittedly i am not as naive as i once was 6 years ago but as this man has been shooting smack for over 30 years with 14 years of prison time as well...he still is more practiced in the art of inventive manipulation and can convinced me that things are white when my 'gut' tells me i see black.
He has never hidden his pot smoking from me and i can't see how he would be spending hours on end with someone smoking joints (don't know how he can afford it either) and why probation would deter him from doing his long time love drug of choice...heroin.
He never kept his distance from me for long periods in the past unless he was doing heroin and even then when we actually lived together he would disappear for days at a time with some bulls**t story as to why.
As much as it pains me to think he is with another woman and doesn't even have the balls to tell me at this point...in a way i hope for his sake that is all there is to it and he is just smoking weed and having his way with her because if he is doing heroin than that means his habit has taken a stronger hold of him and as he barely ekes out a living as it is...he might be selling it as well....
thanx again Jack and i hope i hear from Bryn as well
luv MARY
Mary I loved that heading "Bryn you would know" I'm thinking I ain't know nuttin.
Heaven help us all if it comes to me knowing something. LOL
Of course Jack is a dude. Love Jack. Is he the best? So he thinks another way in a sort. Me? I still don't think there's a woman, and if there is she's an addict.
I doubt even if there is this woman there's anyhting besides the love of all things heroin. How the heck is he passing those urines? Well I mean I know people do it all the time, but him calling on Wednesday may have been him manipulating the dope, and had a few seconds of clarity, and truly cares for you. I used to do that. I'd get PO'd at the guys who helped me who truly cared about me, and cut my supply of loot off, and would ruin my high. Then when I would have a day or two in clean I would feel guilt. I would call them. I didn't call them when I was high because NOBODY GOT TO RUIN MY HIGH!!!!!! Thus him calling, and then POOF off he went again.
Definately doing something shifty as the hours, and the avoidance approach theory of his landlady. I mean he only knows how to live shifty. It's all we knew. It's comfortable, and works for us. He could be hooked up with people doing something to support the habit. Man, that you work your arse off for. As long as he is high he isn't going to call you. He will definately pop up. Absolutely. Again I truly do not think he has a woman. Just maybe partners both male, and female as in not sex but the dope. We work in teams. Sooner or later and sooner usually somebody beats someone (steals, cons) the other person, and it all goes around again.
Mary, I had posted about a guy i met at NA. Long post. Clean the guy is who had the audacity to ask if he could meet this KID. I mean a 19 year old KID who is a stripper. My friend was helping her. So I go "Sure go to coochie bar, and boobie bar". Have two hundred dollar bills ready. He says "NO! i mean meet her in person". I was nausiated. I go this is a mere child with a child who has nobody in the world cares for them. He says "She's a stripper, and a dirty w****. That's what they do". I mean what an arse.
Sooooooo I said without hesitation. "Dude you are old, fat and bald". Why on God's great earth would a pretty, young girl want anything to do with you?
Mary, these guys....NOT ALL, but alot of them are freaking thinking they are actually desirable. I mean nice enough guy to go to dinner with, but NO!!!!!!!!
them, and have sex with them, and put up with their crap. UNLESS IT IS FOR MONEY OR DRUGS. I mean I'm old, and fat. I'd take no offense. This creep had the gaul to call me back saying I hurt his feelings. Never mind some poor young girls feelings. I was like I have a daughter almost that age a hole. He says well she is a good girl, and a good student, and a lady, and would never be filthy like that. WELL HOW THE HELL DOES HE KNOW WHERE THIS GIRL HAS BEEN??????????? Plus if you look at young girls you might take a fancy to my child which effectively you may as well use again because your time would be short. Kick the clean time and pick up you dare be such a pervert ya freak. Mysoginistic creep clean or high.
So there's a little bit of clean time for ya, and who these guys go with. AGAIN NOT ALL GUYS in the rooms, but the few times I have been to meetings thses young girls come in, and get bum rushed by guys older than their dad's. I loathe that. PLUS PLUS I told this fat, bald not so wealthy guy that I have issues from my own youth with FAT, OLD, BALD guys. Ya know? So I am again saying no way there's a woman unless it's another addict. With heroin sex is put on hold. Unless you're working. He will pop back up babes.
Avoid hsi a*s like the plague then because you will be in for some disease or worst another broken heart by someone not deserving your time of day.
Heaven help us all if it comes to me knowing something. LOL
Of course Jack is a dude. Love Jack. Is he the best? So he thinks another way in a sort. Me? I still don't think there's a woman, and if there is she's an addict.
I doubt even if there is this woman there's anyhting besides the love of all things heroin. How the heck is he passing those urines? Well I mean I know people do it all the time, but him calling on Wednesday may have been him manipulating the dope, and had a few seconds of clarity, and truly cares for you. I used to do that. I'd get PO'd at the guys who helped me who truly cared about me, and cut my supply of loot off, and would ruin my high. Then when I would have a day or two in clean I would feel guilt. I would call them. I didn't call them when I was high because NOBODY GOT TO RUIN MY HIGH!!!!!! Thus him calling, and then POOF off he went again.
Definately doing something shifty as the hours, and the avoidance approach theory of his landlady. I mean he only knows how to live shifty. It's all we knew. It's comfortable, and works for us. He could be hooked up with people doing something to support the habit. Man, that you work your arse off for. As long as he is high he isn't going to call you. He will definately pop up. Absolutely. Again I truly do not think he has a woman. Just maybe partners both male, and female as in not sex but the dope. We work in teams. Sooner or later and sooner usually somebody beats someone (steals, cons) the other person, and it all goes around again.
Mary, I had posted about a guy i met at NA. Long post. Clean the guy is who had the audacity to ask if he could meet this KID. I mean a 19 year old KID who is a stripper. My friend was helping her. So I go "Sure go to coochie bar, and boobie bar". Have two hundred dollar bills ready. He says "NO! i mean meet her in person". I was nausiated. I go this is a mere child with a child who has nobody in the world cares for them. He says "She's a stripper, and a dirty w****. That's what they do". I mean what an arse.
Sooooooo I said without hesitation. "Dude you are old, fat and bald". Why on God's great earth would a pretty, young girl want anything to do with you?
Mary, these guys....NOT ALL, but alot of them are freaking thinking they are actually desirable. I mean nice enough guy to go to dinner with, but NO!!!!!!!!
them, and have sex with them, and put up with their crap. UNLESS IT IS FOR MONEY OR DRUGS. I mean I'm old, and fat. I'd take no offense. This creep had the gaul to call me back saying I hurt his feelings. Never mind some poor young girls feelings. I was like I have a daughter almost that age a hole. He says well she is a good girl, and a good student, and a lady, and would never be filthy like that. WELL HOW THE HELL DOES HE KNOW WHERE THIS GIRL HAS BEEN??????????? Plus if you look at young girls you might take a fancy to my child which effectively you may as well use again because your time would be short. Kick the clean time and pick up you dare be such a pervert ya freak. Mysoginistic creep clean or high.
So there's a little bit of clean time for ya, and who these guys go with. AGAIN NOT ALL GUYS in the rooms, but the few times I have been to meetings thses young girls come in, and get bum rushed by guys older than their dad's. I loathe that. PLUS PLUS I told this fat, bald not so wealthy guy that I have issues from my own youth with FAT, OLD, BALD guys. Ya know? So I am again saying no way there's a woman unless it's another addict. With heroin sex is put on hold. Unless you're working. He will pop back up babes.
Avoid hsi a*s like the plague then because you will be in for some disease or worst another broken heart by someone not deserving your time of day.
