"We may remember times when we treated others horribly--hurting their feelings, deceiving them, repaying their kindness with spite, manipulating them, cheating them. While regret for these actions is appropriate and necessary to purify these karmas, we often fall into guilt and shame instead. Guilt and shame are obstacles to overcome on the path, because they keep us trapped in our self-centered melodrama entitled "How Bad I Am." Regret, on the other hand, realizes that we erred, leads us to purify, and motivates us to refrain from acting like that in the future.
How do we counteract guilt and shame? One way is to recognize that the person who did that action no longer exists. You are different now. Is the person who did that action five years ago the same person you are now? If she were exactly the same person, you would still be doing the same action. The present "you" exists in a continuum from that person, but is not exactly the same as her. Look back at the person you were with compassion. You can understand the suffering and confusion she was experiencing that made her act in that way."
If anyone is interested in reading the rest, the link is:
http://buddhism.kalachakranet.org/guilt.html
That's wonderful Lacey, if we grow....we gain things....and sometimes we leave parts of the old us behind......of course form our new perspective some of our old decisions look awful now.....but beating the new us up for the best decisions the old us was able to make at the time doesn't make a lot of sense.....amends do, where appropriate, apologies do, where possible, and clarity about finding what the next right thing is for the new us is a wonderful source of pleasure....
Thanks!
M
Thanks!
M
Lacey,
It's not important to understand that guilt happens, or that we do bad things unintentionally, or that we resent when things don't go our way. The real question is: What are you going to do about it? There IS a solution. Talk w/Stacey and Kat about it. It's simple--don't over-think it like I used to.
It's not important to understand that guilt happens, or that we do bad things unintentionally, or that we resent when things don't go our way. The real question is: What are you going to do about it? There IS a solution. Talk w/Stacey and Kat about it. It's simple--don't over-think it like I used to.
Yes, true. I could dwell on it forever, but doing something about it is the solution.
Forgiveness to oneself is achievable. Especially when you realize you are no longer the same person you once were.
If I had a nickle, well maybe a dime for all my over thinking I'd be rich and I'm not really talking about monetary gains here.
I need to continue to work on this. As I know inside it will bring peace to my soul.
Thank You for the reminder! I tend to forget things if I don't practice them.
If I had a nickle, well maybe a dime for all my over thinking I'd be rich and I'm not really talking about monetary gains here.
I need to continue to work on this. As I know inside it will bring peace to my soul.
Thank You for the reminder! I tend to forget things if I don't practice them.
